


Devotion

by Triggerhappyjax



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:16:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 68
Words: 171,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triggerhappyjax/pseuds/Triggerhappyjax
Summary: Tony loses the love of his life. Can Gibbs help him put his life back together? SLASH Don't like, Don't read.





	1. Chapter 1

Gibbs team was at one of the most gruesome crime scenes they had ever witnessed when Tony DiNozzo got the call.

  
“DiNozzo!” Tony answered, allowing the camera he was using to document the scene to hang loosely around his neck.

  
“Hello? What? Joe? Hang on...I can’t hear you!” Tony hurried to get outside as his mobile service was weak inside the warehouse. He avoided the coagulated pools of blood that had formed near the bodies littering the abandoned building’s floor.

  
Kate and Tim looked at Tony with concern as he made his way through the carnage.

  
Tony did not miss the annoyed glare Leroy Jethro Gibbs shot his way.

  
“Sorry Joe, repeat what you just said?” Tony asked as the connection became clear as he stepped outside.

  
“I’m sorry to call you with this, Tony, but Spence has been shot.”

  
Cold silence filled the air.

  
Then Tony heard the words that broke his heart and his world.

  
“He’s dead Tony. I’m so sorry.”

  
***********

  
Gibbs stepped out of the warehouse ready to rip Tony a new one for taking personal calls at a crime scene, especially one like this. Two marines gutted like cattle, their intestines strewn about the building with four others shot execution style lying in a pile. It appeared to be a drug deal gone horribly wrong. It would take everything his team could do to figure it out. He needed Tony to be on top of his game.

  
As he approached his SFA he saw Tony’s jaw go slack and he lost all color in his face. Tony’s cell phone dropped from his hand and broke into pieces as it hit the ground. Gibbs moved quickly to catch Tony as he began to lurch forward.

  
“DINOZZO!” Gibbs yelled as he caught Tony in time.

  
Tony turned his face towards Gibbs. The shock and utter pain Gibbs saw in Tony’s emerald eyes softened him immediately. He hugged Tony tightly. He could feel Tony’s body trembling.  
“What’s happened Tony?” Gibbs asked, genuine concern in his voice

  
“Spence is dead, Gibbs!” Tony sobbed

  
“NO! How?” Gibbs yelled pulling back to look Tony in the eyes.

  
Gibbs expression now mirrored Tony’s shock and pain.

  
Tony was shaking his head back and forth as he said “I don’t know the details. His partner, Joe, called to tell me he had been shot and that he’s dead! God Gibbs! What am I going to do?”  
Tony started to pull away from Gibbs.

  
Gibbs could tell Tony was close to losing it so he pulled him in closer.

  
Tony struggled against his boss trying to break free. The more he fought the harder Gibbs held him.

  
“Let me go, Jethro!” Tony pleaded

  
“NO! You need to calm yourself, Tony. Let me help you. I am going to call Director Morrow and ask that Balboa’s team take this one. Then you and I will go find Spence okay?”

  
Tony stopped struggling and looked at Gibbs. He shook his head in agreement.

  
Gibbs took Tony’s head in his hands and said “Keep it together for me Anthony. I will take care of this, you hear me?! I will be right back. I need to give Kate and McGee instructions. Stay here and wait for me!”

  
Tony leaned against the warehouse wall watching as Gibbs walked back. He heard him talking with Morrow arranging for the other team. He saw Gibbs snap his phone shut as he disappeared into the warehouse.

  
Tony had no idea how long it took for Gibbs to get back. It could have been minutes or hours. Tony’s mind had traveled to a blank oblivion. He couldn’t even begin to process that his lover, his partner, his best friend, Riley Spencer, was gone.

  
Forever had ended with that one call.

  
Tony felt the strong hand wrap around his bicep and he moved with the body that led him towards a car. He could feel the seat as he was pushed down into it and he felt the snug tightness of the seat belt as he was buckled in securely.

  
He heard an authoritative voice trying to comfort him but he didn’t answer. He had no words to bring forth. He tried to convince himself he was dreaming or may be under the influence of drink or drugs. Maybe he had a concussion and when he came to he would find Spence at his bedside comforting him and giving him shit for getting hurt yet again.

  
A light head slap brought reality back into focus.

  
Tony turned to his left to see Gibbs looking at him with deep concern.

  
“You with me, DiNozzo?”

  
“Yes”

  
Gibbs heard Tony say softly, as Tony leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.

  
“We’ll be there soon, Tony. Try to rest.”

  
Tony wanted to cry but he wouldn’t break, not yet. He had cried in front of his boss only once before and regretted it ever since.

  
Besides, his Father’s words played over and over in his head.

  
“DiNozzo men do not cry, Anthony! DiNozzo men do not pass out, Anthony! DiNozzo men never show weakness, Anthony!” Blah, Blah, Blah!

  
His father was an emotional wasteland. So many rules on what not to do that Tony had no emotional arsenal to drawn on to deal with this kind of loss.

  
Even when Tony lost his mother at a young age, his Father treated the event like it was just a hurdle to get over and move on.

  
Tony corralled his emotions and felt his heart begin to harden. He would have to take this road if he had any chance to survive.

  
Gibbs turned to look at Tony every few minutes. His heart broke for him. Gibbs felt the loss as well. Riley Spencer had been his best friend for years. They had served together as Marines and had both entered law enforcement after the corp. Spence was happy working the streets of D.C. He excelled in the day to day action. He had a wicked sense of humor, loved movies and quoted from them incessantly. He was loyal, trustworthy and dependable. When Gibbs decided to play matchmaker between Spence and Tony he knew they would either hate each other on sight or fall head over heels. It had been the latter.

  
Gibbs had decided to introduce Tony to Spence two years ago. He had both selfless and selfish reasons. He loved both men and wanted them to be happy. He and Spence had never slept together but they had shared their bisexuality when serving their country. It was before DADT and you kept it all shoved into a very deep closet.

  
Spence, like Gibbs, was bisexual. Spence had married and had a couple of kids before he finally realized he was more gay then bi. His wife kicked him out of their house and he moved in with Gibbs for a while. Spence bought his own home and maintained a civil relationship with his ex. He tried to keep active in his kid’s lives but his job made it difficult. His kids grew up and were off to college in what seemed the blink of an eye.  
Gibbs was madly in love with Shannon when they married and Gibbs would still be in a committed monogamous relationship with her, if she had lived. Her murder and that of their precious Kelly put him over the edge. He would seek solace where he could, either men or women. He was a man who was drawn to a one on one relationship and all that involved. It is because of this he married three more times before he finally threw in the towel.

  
When he met Tony in Baltimore he was instantly smitten with the brash, handsome detective. Gibbs recruited Tony for NCIS because he excelled as an investigator. Tony also reminded him of his best friend, Riley Spencer.  
Gibbs had never been attracted to Spence but he was very attracted to Tony. Gibbs had kept his desires for Tony at bay. He was doing a great job of that until he and Tony had way too much to drink after a hard case. They were sitting on the couch, the embers from Gibbs fireplace the only light in the room. Tony made the first move. Gibbs learned that night his womanizing, skirt tracing, braggart SFA was actually bisexual and professed being in love with Gibbs.

  
They had groped each other and Gibbs found Tony really knew how to kiss. Gibbs was lost in the passion of Tony’s hot mouth and soft lips when the realization he was kissing his subordinate kicked in. Tony had had much more to drink then Gibbs. Tony was so vulnerable at that moment; Gibbs was determined not to take advantage of him. If he had been a weaker man, he would have given in to his carnal desires and bent Tony over the couch fucking him into next week.

  
Gibbs rejection had made Tony very emotional. Tony had actually cried when Gibbs told him it would never work. Gibbs was adamant in his reasons. They worked together, He was Tony’s boss and he had rules in place for that very reason.

  
“FUCK RULE 12, JETHRO!” Tony had yelled at Gibbs. “I know you want me as much as I want you! Don’t shut the door on something that could be really fantastic!”

  
Gibbs would not give in. Tony fought the despair he felt in losing love, yet again. Their working relationship remained intact but it took a while for them to be just friends again.

  
He and Gibbs agreed to never talk about that night again.

  
Gibbs grew concerned when Tony started masking his feelings and hiding himself behind a persona Gibbs knew was not anywhere close to the real Anthony DiNozzo. He wanted Tony to have stability and love in his life. He wanted to be the one Tony could count on for that but he just couldn’t allow himself that pleasure. Ducky honed into the dynamics of their relationship early on. He chastised Gibbs for not allowing himself the happiness he deserved. He also thought Gibbs was taking Tony for granted when it was apparent how Tony felt about Gibbs. This revelation prompted Gibbs to act.

  
He had a gut feeling Riley Spencer and Anthony DiNozzo would be perfect for each other.

  
His gut proved to be right. Spence and Tony had it all for almost two years.

  
Gibbs looked at Tony. His eyes were still closed but Gibbs noticed a single tear roll down his cheek. He wanted to reach out and wipe it away. He wanted to take Tony into his arms and tell him everything would be okay. He wanted to tell Tony he loved him, that he had always loved him. He wanted to confess that he regretted the day he introduced Spence to him. He did want his friends to be happy and to have love, but Gibbs had finally realized he had lost something he wanted desperately. He wanted Tony DiNozzo all to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs realized his thoughts at the moment were very inappropriate. He berated himself for even thinking about himself, his feelings and desires for Tony, when he had just found out one friend was dead and the other had just lost the love of his life.

Gibbs understood losing the love of your life. He also knew the horror of losing a child. Tony and Spence had barely had two years together but Gibbs knew they were madly in love. He would do anything in his power to help Tony as he tried to rebuild his life without Spence.

“We’re here, Tony.” Gibbs said quietly as he pulled in front of D.C. Metro. Tony did not have much information other than Spence was dead, so Gibbs went to the building Spence was stationed.

Gibbs watched as Tony opened his eyes. He could see Tony had steeled his emotions-his eyes were cold and determined. He looked at Gibbs and nodded his head. The two of them opened their doors and got out of the sedan. Tony waited as Gibbs walked around to meet him before they headed inside. Gibbs wanted to put his arm around Tony to comfort him but he didn’t. He knew not to touch Tony when he cocooned himself against the hurt and pain.

The Police Sergeant at the duty desk knew both men on sight. He let them pass to enter the main station area. Gibbs could tell the man had wanted to vocalize his condolences to Tony but he held back. Spence and Tony had revealed their relationship to only a handful of Spence’s co-workers. Even though Riley Spencer was well liked, received several commendations for bravery and had rose through the ranks of D.C. Metro rather quickly, being a gay man could make you a target within your own department.

When Tony and Gibbs entered the D.C. Metro bullpen, Gibbs saw Spence’s partner Joe Alvarez look up from his computer. Joe’s eyes were red rimmed and they widened when he saw Tony approaching.

“Oh, God, Tony!” Joe said as he got up and pulled Tony into his arms.

Gibbs saw Tony’s body stiffen when Joe hugged him. Tony tried to reciprocate but Gibbs could tell he just couldn’t relax into the sympathy Joe conveyed. He knew DiNozzo was struggling to maintain his composure. Joe Alvarez knew it too. He released Tony quickly and said “I am so sorry about the phone call to you. I would have preferred to tell you in person but your dispatcher would only disclose you were out in the field.”

Gibbs frowned at this information. There was no reason NCIS dispatch should not give that information to an Officer of D.C. Metro. He made a mental note to check on that. At least if he had been notified, as team supervisor and Tony’s boss, he could have told Tony himself to lessen the blow.

Joe guided Tony to a chair next to his desk and waved to Gibbs to sit in the chair opposite Tony.

Tony sat and stared at his hands which he held in his lap. Gibbs exchanged a silent look with Alvarez as the men waited for Tony to speak. Tony rolled his shoulders and looked up and directly at Joe.  
“What happened to Spence?” he asked his voice lightly breaking

Tony waited for Joe to speak. He was well aware Joe shared in the loss of Spence. All three men knew your work partner, if you were lucky, could be closer than your brother or sister or even your spouse. Tony had never lost a partner on the job. Sure he lost Danny Price in Baltimore but that relationship was ended by Danny’s corruption. Tony had felt it would have probably hurt less if Danny had been killed in the line of duty then be a bad cop. That situation had Tony questioning his ability to trust but then Gibbs recruited him and the man restored his faith.

“We had a call for a 211 in progress, code purple.”

Joe saw Gibbs raise his eyebrows so he clarified “A 211 is a robbery and code purple is gang activity.”

“Anyway, me and Spence were closest to the scene. When we got there two members of the Los Muertos M C were exiting the convenience store. They both had guns. I shot one, killed him. Spence and the other gang member shot it out. Spence got the guy in the shoulder, scumbag is currently at Bethesda.”

Gibbs watched Tony closely as Joe got to the part Tony was waiting for.

“Spence took a round in his right armpit, right under the vest. The ME says it must have hit a major artery. He bled out pretty quick Tony. We should have confirmation when the autopsy is done.”

Tony felt his body grow cold. He felt his mind grow numb as his mouth went dry. He fought the urge to scream. He looked between Gibbs and Joe not knowing what to do. Tony watched as Joe moved towards him and said quietly.

“He wanted me to tell you he loved you Tony. He wanted me to say and I am quoting him “Thanks Tone for the best years of my life. I love you and want you to have a wonderful life. I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Those were his last words Tony. I hope they bring you some comfort.” Joe leaned back, grief evident in his eyes and demeanor.

Tony felt his eyes begin to burn. He fought back the tears he wanted nothing more to shed saying:

“Can I see him Joe? Is he here?”

“He is here. I can take you down. Let me call the M. E. for you.”

While Joe made the call Gibbs placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder. Tony’s body went rigid so Gibbs pulled his hand away. Tony felt guilty at his reaction. He looked at Gibbs and gave him a small smile.

“Do you want me to go do with you Tony?”

“Yes” Tony answered “It will give you a chance to say goodbye as well.”


	3. Chapter 3

Joe Alvarez introduced Tony and Gibbs to D.C. Metro M.E. Sara Jacobs. Dr. Jacobs shook both men’s hands and advised them Riley Spencer was the only body in autopsy at that time. She was about to begin the autopsy when she got the call from Joe, so Spence’s body was still clothed and lying on an autopsy table.

Tony asked if he and Gibbs could be alone with Spence. Dr. Jacobs and Joe agreed. They decided to go for coffee leaving the men to their sad task.

Metro’s autopsy was much smaller than NCIS. The room was half the size and there were only two tables and about 4 cold storage lockers. It was very cold but both men already knew it would be. Tony was shivering and Gibbs knew it was more than just the temperature.

Tony approached Spence with hesitation. Gibbs held back watching Tony’s actions carefully. He knew that Tony had seen a lot of death and was witness to how ugly humanity could really be. The crime scene that morning was the worst but it was one of many they had seen over the years. Tony would use humor to deal with that kind of ugly. This situation was too close to home. Gibbs knew Tony had lost his mother at an early age but had never lost anyone as close to him as Spence had been.

He watched as Tony looked down at Spence and just stared at him. Tony reached out to touch Spence’s face but he withdrew his hand without making contact. Tony couldn’t yet face that what he was seeing was real. When he finally touched Spence a sob caught in his throat. It was primal and filled with grief.

Tony ran his hand through Spence’s hair. Tony leaned down and whispered something and kissed Spence, first on his forehead and then on the lips. Tony picked up Spence’s hand and held it close to his chest. As Tony closed his eyes, trapped in his own thoughts, Gibbs thought about the day he had first met Spence and the day he first introduced Tony to Spence.

It was Gibbs first day of boot camp that he met Riley Spencer.

They were in the same unit for training. The men had to introduce themselves and say where they were from. When Gibbs said his full name and town and state he was annoyed to hear Riley Spencer snigger and say “Jethro? You a hillbilly, Jethro? Got a cee-ment pond?”

That comment made the other men roar with laughter.

Gibbs studied Riley Spencer, formulating how to respond. Spence was a good two inches taller than Gibbs. He was a good looking man with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was obviously very athletic and he had a wonderful smile. Gibbs liked him immediately.

Gibbs merely smirked at Riley Spencer. He had heard it before and it didn’t faze him. Spence appreciated Gibbs ability to be the butt of the joke and they became fast friends. Gibbs learned that Riley Spencer was from a very old family in Virginia. His mother was a Riley and as his parent’s oldest child, he was christened Riley Spencer. He hated the name Riley and only answered to Spence.

Spence learned that Jethro preferred Gibbs.

Gibbs was Spence’s best man when he married Linda Marshall. Spence stood up for Gibbs when he married Shannon. Spence was Kelly’s Godfather and helped Gibbs the best he could when Shannon and Kelly were murdered. Gibbs stepped up when Spence and Linda separated. Gibbs was Godfather to Spence’s two sons but Linda kept the boys away from both men for several years. She eventually rebuilt a civil relationship with Spence but the kids were estranged from Spence and Gibbs didn’t know them at all. It was sad for all parties.

Spence dallied with relationships with men but could never truly find the right person. He and Gibbs talked a lot about that over cowboy steaks and beer. Spence knew Gibbs wanted to find the right person as well but he had watched his friend marry again and again. He finally told Gibbs “Quit trying to replace Shannon! You need to find the right guy this time!”

They use to joke it would be so much easier if they were attracted to each other.

Gibbs had mentioned Tony to Spence on many occasions. What usually came up was how much their personalities were alike. Gibbs never told Spence his true feelings for Tony. Gibbs usually denied the feelings to himself.

When he finally realized Tony reciprocated those feelings Gibbs couldn’t get past their working relationship. He decided to be self-sacrificing for his best friend and SFA. He invited them both over for dinner and had mixed feelings as the sparks began to fly between them.

Tony had been the first to leave that night but not before plans were in place to get together with Spence the following week for dinner and a movie. As Spence helped Gibbs cleanup he shook his head and said “Jesus Gibbs. Thank you so much for tonight. I can’t believe you are letting an opportunity like Tony get away from you! I can tell he has deep feelings for you. You sure you two have never….?”

“I’m Tony’s boss, Spence. I care for Tony as I care for you. If something happens between the two of you then I will be happy for you both.” Gibbs knew he was lying as he said it.

Gibbs did convince himself he was truly happy for Tony and Spence when the two moved in together less than 6 months into their relationship. Both Tony and Spence credited Gibbs for their happiness but Gibbs couldn’t help but feel like the third wheel as Tony and Spence became each other’s world. Gibbs could see Tony was content and happy. Spence grounded Tony and Tony did the same for Spence. Gibbs shoved any romantic feelings he had for Tony far away.

Those feelings exploded to the surface seeing Tony in so much pain.

Gibbs watched as Tony lowered Spence’s hand. Tony looked at Gibbs and without having to say a word Tony left the autopsy room. Gibbs stepped up to Spence and caressed his friends face. He bent down and kissed Spence on his temple.

“I will watch out for him Spence.”

It was a promise Gibbs was determined to keep.


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs drove Tony back to the Naval Yard to pick up his car. Director Morrow had called with his condolences and advised Gibbs to give Tony two weeks off. Tony protested but Gibbs insisted he take it.

Gibbs pulled up next to Tony’s car and parked. Other than Morrow’s call the men had rode back in complete silence. Gibbs was the first to speak. 

“Tony, do you want me to follow you back to your home? Do you know what Spence wanted in the event of his death?”

He watched as Tony cringed. He looked over at Gibbs and said:

“You know Spence, Gibbs; he was a live in the moment kinda guy. We never really talked about life without the other.” Tony’s voice hitched a bit. “I know where he has his important papers. I’ll go through them and see if I can find something….” Tony’s voice trailed off as he looked down at his hands. He hoped he was just having a bad dream and he willed himself to wake up. Gibbs voice brought him back to the reality it was a real living nightmare.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Gibbs asked

Tony thought for a moment and then said “Yes, would you call Linda and tell her what’s happened? She hates my guts. I’m sure she’ll want to have a say in the funeral, for Spence’s kids’ sake if nothing else.”

Tony looked so lost. Gibbs was well aware how much Linda resented the happiness Tony brought to Spence’s life.

“Of course I’ll call her Tony. Why don’t you go home and rest if you can. Look for the papers and I’ll call Linda and discuss it with her. Call me if you need me ok? No need to come back into the building. I’ll take care of the paperwork. Do you want me to come over later tonight?”

Tony shook his head no. As he opened the door to leave he turned to Gibbs and said:

“Thank you, for being there for me today. I really don’t think I could have handled it without you, boss.”

Gibbs gave Tony a sad smile and nodded. His gut was screaming to not let Tony out of his sight but he knew he had to let Tony deal with the burden he was now faced with. Gibbs knew the pain and the immediate loneliness first hand. It hit you the hardest after well -meaning friends and family took their leave. They smothered you with their care and concern not realizing that some things had to be handled alone.

Gibbs was determined Tony would have his time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs waited until Tony started his car and drove away before he got out of his car and headed back into the office. He needed to speak with Abby. She was good friends with both Spence and Tony. He knew she was going to be devastated.

Her lab was alive with that noise she called music. Gibbs found her bopping her head along to the beat. (He wasn’t sure if the noise had a beat but Abby did a nice job making it look like it did.)

“Hey Abs!” he yelled in her direction.

Surprisingly she heard him and turned towards him with a big smile.

“GIBBS!” she turned off the music remotely and moved to give him a hug. She stopped and looked at him. Abby was many things including highly intuitive. She gasped and flung herself into his arms saying:

“Oh my god, Gibbs! What’s happened? Is the team okay? What’s wrong?!”

She pulled back to look him in the face.

“Tony got a call at the crime scene this morning Abs. Spence was killed in a robbery shootout.”

“NO!” she cried and looking past him said “Where is Tony, Gibbs? Is he in the bullpen?”

She started to walk away but Gibbs held her back.

“He is heading home Abby.”

“WHAT!? You let him go home alone? Why?!”

“He is going to see if he can find Spence’s will or directions on how to handle the funeral…”

“YOU LET HIM GO ALONE?!”

“Well, yeah, Abs. He needs to handle this on his own. He knows he can call me, I offered to help.”

She shook her head in disbelief and the tears began to streak down her pretty face.

“Tony doesn’t do alone well Gibbs! How can you not know that?!”

Gibbs felt admonished. Only Abby could ever make him feel like this.

“I don’t need to be smothering him Abby! I am going to contact Linda per Tony’s request and he will find out what he can so we can lay Spence to rest. It’s what people do when these things happen!”

“It’s what YOU DO Gibbs! You are a rock. You get it done. You are the perfect man for the job in a crisis. We have all seen it and we all count on you because of it but Tony is not you Gibbs! Tony is more vulnerable and needy. He hasn’t had the experiences you have had. He told me one of the things he loved most about Spence was that he made him feel safe. Just like you make him feel safe. It was a quality Tony said you and Spence both shared.”

Gibbs didn’t know what to say to that. Had he made a mistake in letting Tony go home alone? He shook it off. Tony was a mature (most of the time) man and he could take care of the business at hand. Gibbs wasn’t trying to be insensitive he just knew if he was in Tony’s place it is what he would want.

“SHIT!”

“I’ll go find him, Abs!” he said as he kissed her cheek and turned to leave.

“Tell him I love him Gibbs! Tell him I’m sorry about Spence!”

“I will Abs.”

Gibbs could hear her sobbing for her friends as the elevator door closed.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony pulled up to his home and parked in the drive way. He stared at the house, unable to get out of the car and go inside. He didn’t remember how he got home just that he was there now and Spence wasn’t.  
Spence would never be home again.

It was hard for Tony to absorb that fact. He viewed their home with different eyes now.

Tony had been excited when Spence asked him to move in. Tony had no fear, which surprised him. Moving in with Spence was as natural as breathing. Together they turned Spence’s three bedroom bungalow into a home that was a sanctuary for them both. Their love of movies and music was evident throughout. They both loved to cook and Tony grew to enjoy Spence’s love of gardening. Tony remembered the first time Spence had made him bruschetta with fresh tomatoes, onion and cilantro from their vegetable garden. It was the best Tony had ever had.

The best times they shared were together at home, simply the two of them. They both had stressful, busy careers that kept them apart more than together. When they had together time they both knew it was precious and they never took it for granted.

Tony took a deep breath and got out of his car. As he walked towards the front door he looked around.

He took in the partial garden they had started the weekend before. A crate of flowers still sat next to the area Spence had been working on. Spence loved flowers and Tony made it a habit to bring him flowers at least once a week. Spence cherished a crystal vase that had been his grandmother’s. They chose to display it prominently on the baby grand piano in the living room. The piano had been Tony’s mothers.

When Tony replaced the flowers he did it to honor his love for Spence, the love for his mother and for Spence’s grandmother, whom Tony wished he could have met. Spence loved his grandmother. She had been the woman who raised him. Both Tony and Spence had lost their mothers at an early age.

Tony knew he would never plant the flowers Spence had been working on. He wondered if he would ever feel like gardening again. Tony sat on the porch and looked at the flowers. He smiled sadly, remembering Spence, on hands and knees, digging and planting as he sang some country love song he was listening to on his IPod.

Spence had a lovely voice and his pitch was perfect. Tony closed his eyes trying to recreate that day in his mind. He wanted to brand it into his memory forever. He had to laugh as he remembered why the flowers still sat untouched.

Spence didn’t get a chance to finish because Tony had playfully sprayed him with the garden hose until he was so pissed he chased Tony inside and upstairs to their bedroom.

Once inside, Spence discarded his clothes as he raced to catch Tony. He knew what Tony wanted. It was a game they played. Tony was naked too by the time Spence tackled him and pinned him to their bed. Tony would put up a fight but not much of one. They would laugh and Tony would wrestle Spence for dominance.

Spence would exert control and take Tony’s mouth in a searing, demanding kiss. Tony loved kissing Spence. He could do that one thing for hours. They had made love well into the night. Tony realized that was the last time they had been intimate.

He had not even had a chance to kiss Spence goodbye before they left for work.

Tony ran his fingertips over his lips remembering how cold Spence’s lips had been in autopsy. He shook that thought away wanting to forget that last image of Spence.

Tony stood to enter the house. He knew he had to take care of business. He tried to convince himself he could not give into the luxury of a mental breakdown, not yet. He almost had the key in the lock when he heard a familiar sound. The roar of a muscle car’s engine was approaching, a 1971 Dodge Challenger to be exact.

Tony turned to see Gibbs pull up and get out of his car.

He hurried to be at Tony’s side. Tony could see Gibbs steel blue eyes were filled with care and concern.

No words needed to be spoken.

The look in Gibbs face and his arms embracing Tony in a loving hug is what finally shattered Tony’s resolve.

Gibbs was his anchor. Gibbs had his six. Gibbs made him feel safe.

The safety Tony felt in that tight embrace allowed him to break.

When Gibbs stepped out of his car and saw Tony’s face he knew he had been wise to act on Abby’s concern. Tony looked like a lost little boy. Tony did not fight the embrace when Gibbs enveloped him. Tony relaxed into it and Gibbs could feel his body begin to tremble. Gibbs wrapped a hand behind Tony’s head and brought his face in close to Gibbs neck. Tony’s hair was soft and Gibbs could feel hot tears on his skin as Tony gave into the grief.

Gibbs mind battled against his physical desires. Holding Tony close began to overwhelm him. The smell of Tony’s hair and skin caressed Gibbs senses. The heat of Tony’s body burned against his own. Tony’s vulnerability brought out a fiercely protective side in Gibbs.

Gibbs respect for Spence and Tony’s relationship is what made him break the embrace. He stepped back and maintaining eye contact with Tony, he ran his hand along the length of Tony’s arm and took the keys from Tony’s hand. He placed his hand on Tony’s cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He smiled sadly and his heart beat faster as Tony returned the smile. Tony looked heartbroken and spent.

Gibbs unlocked the door and took Tony by the hand and guided him inside. He helped Tony to the couch and went back to close the door and lock it. Tony sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Gibbs walked over to the small wet bar and pulled out a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. He placed the bottle and glasses on the table in front of Tony. Gibbs pulled off his coat and sat down next to Tony. He poured two shots and nudged Tony who looked up, red eyed. Gibbs handed him one of the shots and as he clinked his glass against Tony’s he said “To Spence”. Tony sat up and said “To Spence”. The men downed the shot and Gibbs poured them another. Tony was on his third when Gibbs stood up and said “I am going to step outside and call Linda. You relax; I’m here to help you, Tone.”

Tony looked up when Gibbs said “Tone”.

Only Spence ever called him that but it felt natural when Gibbs said it.

Tony downed another shot and let his mind go numb. He needed to zone out for a while. Gibbs was there and would take care of him. Gibbs always took care of everything.

Tony took another shot of tequila and stared at the empty glass. Spence loved tequila. Tony thought about everything Spence loved. He also thought about everything that Spence would never, ever have a chance to do again.

No more gardening, no more movie nights together, no more concerts in the park or trips to the beach. No more playing basketball, one on one, until the day gave way to night. No more showers after those basketball games which led into nights of hot sex or tender love making. Never again.

All the things that they had wanted to do together would never happen.

Tony stifled a sob and poured himself another shot.

When Gibbs returned from making his call, he found an almost empty bottle of tequila and his SFA passed out of the couch.

Gibbs poured himself a shot and set the now empty tequila bottle back on the table.

He drank it down and watched Tony as he slept.

Gibbs felt his eyes begin to burn. When he felt the first tear roll down his cheek he tried to stifle his emotions. He had not cried since he had buried Shannon and Kelly. He didn’t think crying made a man weak just out of control. Gibbs was a man who needed control.

He reached out and ran his hand through Tony’s hair. He leaned in and kissed Tony’s forehead.

He realized control was over rated.

He relinquished it and let the tears fall.


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs tears had long since dried when he heard his phone vibrating in his jacket pocket.

Tony was still deep in sleep so Gibbs grabbed the jacket and walked into the kitchen. He pulled out the phone and noted the caller ID. It was Abby.

“Hey Abs” He answered

“Hey, Gibbs. Is Tony with you?” She asked

Gibbs turned to make sure Tony was still asleep.

“Yep, we’re at his house, Abby. He is passed out on the couch.”

“Oh, too much tequila?”

Gibbs smiled and said “Yep.”

“Good job, Bossman! Bringing out the big guns is the best tactic in this situation! So you got our boy drunk. Now what’s the plan?” she asked.

“I didn’t really mean to get him drunk, Abs. He just drank most of the bottle. I was out on the porch calling Linda and when I came back in, well, Tony was out like a light.”

“Linda, huh?” Abby said with contempt. “What did she have to say?”

Gibbs knew Abby had seen Linda’s dislike for Tony first hand. Tony would never say anything but Abby told Gibbs everything when it came to Linda and her tantrums. Spence and Linda had been divorced for a while before Spence and Tony ever got together but Linda was very jealous and spiteful. She was still in love with Spence and had a lot of anger so she directed it towards Tony.

Gibbs knew it wasn’t that Tony was a man. Linda would have it in for anyone who ended up in Spence’s life and bed. Linda had even accused Gibbs of taking too much of Spence’s time when Linda and Spence first started dating. After their wedding he hardly saw Spence at all.

“What do you think she said, Abs?” he answered sarcastically “She’s devastated for herself and for the kids.”

“But not for Tony.” Abby stated quietly.

Gibbs frowned but didn’t answer.

They both knew Tony’s feelings would never even register on Linda’s radar.

Abby moved past the touchy subject of Linda saying:

“I asked Director Morrow for a day off. I will stay with Tony tomorrow. I already have a schedule to help. McGee, Kate, and Ducky are all on board. We will help anyway we can Gibbs!”

Gibbs loved that Abby was so resourceful. She was always the first to step up to help even if the person might not want help. He knew she meant well. Abby always meant well.

“Let me check with Tony when he is conscious, Abs. See what works for him, okay? I like the plan so far though. I will stay tonight and with you here tomorrow that would really help. But we will defer to what Tony wants, that okay Abby?”

“Of course, Gibbs! Whatever Tony wants! Call me if he doesn’t want me to come over tomorrow, otherwise, tell him I will see him bright and early!”

Gibbs could hear the hurt in her voice. He hardened himself to the guilt Abby could bring out in him. Abby could be an overpowering presence. It was just who she was and Gibbs loved her with all his heart.

“Sounds good, Abs. I will tell him. See you tomorrow.”

After they hung up, Gibbs put on a pot of coffee. Spence shared his love of dark strong black coffee. Gibbs wasn’t disappointed to find the perfect grind where Spence always kept it-same place, pre-DiNozzo. He poured himself a large mug and grabbing the TV remote sat at the kitchen table.

Gibbs turned on the small TV Spence always had on when he cooked. The news of the robbery shootout and the death of a highly decorated cop played on every local channel. Gibbs checked to make sure Tony was still asleep. Tony had rolled over and was lightly snoring. Gibbs turned up the news a bit.

The story showed the convenience store with the yellow crime scene tape around the perimeter. There was footage from the inside of the store. It showed two gang members making their escape but not before one shot the clerk and the other pistol whipped a patron.

The reporter came back with breaking news that they had updated footage of the Officer involved shootout. The reporter warned that the footage was disturbing. It happened in seconds. Gunshots then two robbers and one cop went down. Gibbs was horrified to see Spence’s body jerk and hit the pavement hard. Gibbs could see blood pooling around his body. Joe Alvarez was seen checking the suspect he had shot. It appeared Joe was satisfied the guy was dead. He moved quickly to handcuff the suspect Spence had shot and then he was with Spence trying to curb the blood flow. Joe was seen screaming for help and then Gibbs could see Joe had leaned down close to Spence. It must have been the exact moment Spence gave Joe the message for Tony.

Gibbs was startled when he heard Tony gasp behind him.

As Gibbs turned around he watched Tony stumble back and then stagger quickly down the hall towards the bathroom.

Gibbs followed him but stopped at the bathroom entrance as he heard Tony retching.

Gibbs didn’t know how much Tony had seen. He could kick himself for even turning on the television.

As Tony’s body purged itself of the tequila, Gibbs could hear Tony gag and then sob.

Gibbs leaned against the wall and ran his hand over his face in frustration.

He wanted to be able to help Tony but he was torn between honor and desire.

Honor needed to rule so Gibbs had to stay at a distance. He hated himself for his personal weakness.

It was going to be a very long night.


	7. Chapter 7

“Do you need anything Tony?” Gibbs asked from the hallway.

“No, thanks, I’ll be out in a minute.” Tony replied as he listened to Gibbs walk back towards the kitchen. 

He breathed out his relief when the house fell silent as Gibbs shut off the television.

He stared at himself in the mirror, barely recognizing the person looking back. 

He logically understood he was in shock but as he splashed water on his face he felt like he was floating around in a surreal dream.

'More like a nightmare' he thought as he acted on autopilot, pulling a towel from the rack and drying his face and hands. 

Looking down he realized he had puked on himself. His shirt and pants had been spattered. 

“Yuck!” he said aloud as he pulled off the offending garments. 

Smelling like bile and tequila, his nose crinkled as he wrapped the soiled clothes into a ball. 

Dressed only in his boxers, he carried them toward the laundry room that was right off the kitchen.

He was embarrassed Gibbs had seen him like this. He had a feeling Gibbs wouldn’t care. Seeing Spence’s last moments on TV was too much. Tony wondered if Spence’s kids saw it too. Tony had never met Spence’s sons but Tony knew how much they meant to Spence. Tony was pissed that the news station didn’t take in to account that the family might not have been notified yet.

Tony wondered about Gibbs conversation with Linda. He was posed to ask that question as he passed Gibbs in the kitchen. Gibbs had been rummaging in the fridge when he turned to see Tony walking, partially clothed, through the room. 

Gibbs could feel his face flush.

“Jesus DiNozzo! Put some clothes on!”

Gibbs didn’t plan on that one sentence to come out sounding like he was disgusted and angry but it did.

Since Gibbs never apologized, Tony could only stand in shock and bewilderment. He recovered quickly.

“Uh, that was the plan boss. Just need to put these in the washer.”

Tony dropped the clothes into the machine. He hurried back through the kitchen and not even looking in Gibbs direction, made his way up the stairs.

When he didn’t come back in ten minutes Gibbs went upstairs to find him. He found Tony sitting on the edge of the king sized bed he and Spence had purchased the day they moved in together. The intricately carved headboard had been a gift from Gibbs the first Christmas Spence and Tony had spent together.

Tony had put on a pair of old sweats but had yet to put on a shirt. He had his face buried in an old shirt of Spence’s. Gibbs recognized it as the USMC shirt Spence always wore on the weekends. Gibbs knew this because he had one just like it. They were old and soft and Gibbs could tell Tony was breathing in Spence’s scent. He had done a similar thing when Shannon and Kelly died. It was a sad day when the house no longer had the scents that reminded him of his girls.

“Hey!” Gibbs said roughly.

Tony looked up, red eyed. He then hurried to put the shirt on.

“I ordered us a pizza for dinner. You okay with that?” Gibbs demanded

“Not really hungry Boss.”

“Tough, you need to eat DiNozzo. Pizza will be here in 20.” Gibbs then turned and headed downstairs.

Tony took notice that Gibbs had taken to calling him DiNozzo, like they were out in the field. The affection he had heard earlier when Gibbs had called him “Tone” was gone. Tony usually was uncomfortable with a “nice” Gibbs but it had actually been comforting considering the situation. Tony wondered if Gibbs was fed up with him already.

Gibbs had lost his best friend and Tony had not asked him how he was handling that. Tony knew he was indebted to Gibbs. If it hadn’t been for Gibbs playing cupid, Tony would not have had the two years of happiness he had with Spence. Gibbs probably thought he was an ingrate and his neediness annoying.

After they had dinner he would ask Gibbs to leave. He didn’t want to burden the older man any longer.

The pizza arrived timely and Gibbs refused Tony’s offer to pay. Tony got two plates from the cupboard as Gibbs grabbed them two bottles of water from the refrigerator.

The men ate in silence.

Tony was pleased Gibbs had ordered his favorite pizza-sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese.

The one thing Spence always got wrong was the pizza order. Spence always added mushroom for some reason. Tony chuckled at that which drew Gibbs attention. Gibbs right eyebrow rose in silent inquiry to Tony’s reaction.

Tony smiled at Gibbs and said “I was just thinking how you always get my pizza order right and Spence never did.”

Gibbs response was a slight smirk just before he took another bite of his slice of pizza.

Tony was not comfortable with the silence between them so he said “You talked to Linda?”

Gibbs nodded in the affirmative.

“What did she say? Was she upset?”

Gibbs put the uneaten portion of his pizza slice back on his plate and wiped his napkin across his mouth.

He looked at Tony like he was an idiot. Tony cringed and because Gibbs had no clue why, he ignored it.

“Ya think, DiNozzo? Of course she was upset! She said she had a lot of old paper work she and Spence had put together when they were first married that may contain a directive on how he’d like to be laid to rest. She said she would get back to me tomorrow.”

Linda was a sore spot for Tony. He appreciated Gibbs made the call but Tony was incensed when Gibbs said Linda would get back to him!

“Back to you? What the hell?! She should be calling me!” Tony stood up and carried his dish over to the sink. He threw the remains of his pizza in the trash. He knew he was probably acting like petulant child but he didn’t care.

Gibbs sat back in his chair and studied Tony. He didn’t understand why Tony was so upset. Gibbs tried to be sympathetic but a Tony/Linda feud pissed Gibbs off. He was determined not to have any part of it.

“Well I can direct her call to you if you prefer.” Gibbs said coolly

Tony could see the flash of anger in Gibbs eyes. When Gibbs crossed his arms it just added to the insecure feeling Tony had that Gibbs was regretting having to deal with him.

Tony felt his face getting hot. He realized he was pissed at Gibbs. Gibbs looked like a smug son of a bitch sitting there with his arms crossed, judging him. Tony had lost so much more than his dignity over the past few hours but dignity was the one thing he could get back. He straightened up and said:

“Thanks for coming over, thanks for calling Linda and thanks for dinner, boss, but I got it from here.”

Tony’s response caught Gibbs off guard. He sat forward and he dropped his arms down onto the table.

“Do you want me to leave?” Gibbs asked

Tony did not want Gibbs to leave. He would like nothing more than to cling to Gibbs and sob like a little girl. It would be unbecoming for a grown man to act like that. That is what Tony’s Father would tell him. Tony had always floundered when it came to dealing with his emotions. He knew he was an emotional cripple seeking help from a functional mute.

“You don’t have to stay, Gibbs. I will look for Spence’s papers tonight so I can deal with Linda tomorrow. When she calls you I would appreciate you directing her to call me. We can compare notes and honor Spence accordingly.”

Gibbs knew Tony was putting up a front. Tony did not say “yes” when asked the direct question if he would like Gibbs to leave. This led Gibbs to believe Tony wanted him to stay so he said:

“I can help you with the papers.”

Tony shook his head while saying “Thanks but I will take care of it.”

Gibbs didn’t want to leave. He could tell Tony was fighting to stay in one piece. He started to raise his hand to place on Tony’s cheek but stopped. Instead he stood up and took his plate to the sink. He then walked into the living room to grab his coat with Tony following close behind.

Tony walked Gibbs to the door. Gibbs looked intently at Tony and Tony could see the confusion and hesitation there. He and Gibbs were usually so in sync that they could read each other without doubt. Not tonight. Tony felt lost and unsure. Gibbs was torn between going and staying. It made for an awkward goodbye.

“Okay, I will have Linda call you when I hear from her. Abby said she would like to spend the day with you tomorrow. She said to call her if you don’t want her to come over otherwise she will see you early.”

Tony nodded and smiled weakly. He felt his eyes begin to burn and he fought it with everything he could.

Gibbs walked a few steps and turning said “Call me if you need me.”

“I will boss…and thanks again” Gibbs heard the break in Tony’s voice. Tony cleared his throat and added:

“Thanks for the two weeks off. I will talk to you in a few days when I have more information on Spence.”

'A few days?' Gibbs thought sadly.

“Alright Tony, whatever you want.” Gibbs said

The last image he had was of Tony closing the front door, the look of the lost little boy having returned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony took a deep breath as he closed the door on Gibbs. 

He steadied himself saying out loud "You can do this, DiNozzo” as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and carried it into Spence’s study.

He sat at Spence’s desk and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the small brass key Spence kept in the pencil tray and spun the desk chair around to the oak filing cabinet directly behind him. He knew Spence kept all his personal paperwork in this cabinet but Tony had never seen any of it.

He took a sip of beer and busied himself pulling out one file at a time and reading over each one.

Several hours later, Tony sat back in the desk chair and felt he may be sick. He had gone through every piece of paper in the file cabinet. When he had moved in with Spence, Spence had wanted Tony on the deed. They had filled all the paperwork out adding Tony on as co-owner. Tony found all their original documents; they had never been filed with the county recorder so Spence was still listed as the only owner.

Tony had also found an outdated will and testament showing Linda as executrix of Spence’s estate. Everything Spence had was left to Linda and the kids. Tony expected the kids to be left the bulk of Spence’s estate but seeing Linda’s name on everything gave Tony a sinking feeling. He had lost the love of his life and now he realized he was about to lose his home as well.

The last file gave Linda complete say in how Spence’s remains would be handled.

It was like Tony had never existed in Spence’s life.

That feeling was pure agony.

He wanted to fall apart but knew he couldn’t. He had to act fast and he needed help. He set himself into survival mode. Looking at the clock he could see it was just past 11 PM.

He picked up the phone and made the call to the one person he knew would drop everything to be at his side. When the phone was answered Tony said:

“Sorry to call you so late, but I need your help Abs.”


	8. Chapter 8

Abby flung herself into Tony’s arms when he answered the door thirty minutes later.

“I’m so sorry about Spence, Tony.” She cried as she buried her head in the crook if his neck.

He hugged her tightly. Abby gave the best hugs. Tony could feel all the love and care and kindness she directed his way. He pulled back and holding her face gently between his hands, he planted a loving kiss on her forehead. Her eyes were glistening, so he used his thumbs to wipe away her unshed tears.

"Thank you Abby for getting over here so quickly.” He said appreciatively

He then took in what she was wearing and had to laugh. Abby had on white flannel pants that were covered with black cats. Every cat was the same. Their backs were arched and their tails were bushy like they were hissing or scared. Her small black T-shirt had “Cat Scratch Fever” across the front in white letters and on the back was a series of what looked like cat scratches, also in white. The pony tails were absent; she had one long braid off to one side. Her beautiful face was devoid of any makeup.

“Oh, God, Abs! I got you out of bed! I’m sorry!”

She socked him in the shoulder as she walked into the living room.

“I hadn’t even closed the lid of my coffin yet, Tony. Besides I would do anything for you, you know that.”

She looked around and said “Where’s Gibbs? He told me he would be staying with you tonight.”

“I told him he could leave Abby.”

“Why?” she asked somewhat surprised

Tony directed her to the couch and trying to deflect her question he said “You really sleep in that coffin with the lid closed?”

She smirked at him and said “Answer the question, DiNozzo! Why did you send Gibbs…..?”

As Abby asked the question she saw Tony’s face pale and a deep sadness overcame him.

“What is it Tony?”

He looked at her and he said “Am I supposed to pick out a coffin for Spence? I don’t have a clue what he wants, Abs. We never talked about it. I have no idea if he would want to be buried or cremated. If I had an answer to either of those questions there would still be the questions of, where to bury him or scatter the ashes!”

Tony dropped down heavily onto the couch and placed his head in his hands. Abby sat next to him and put her arm over his shoulder and hugged him tightly to her body.

“First things first. Why did you send Gibbs away and why did you call me to take his place? What do you need Tony?”

Abby had pulled back from her embrace to look at him. He looked up at her and the sadness in his eyes almost made her cry. She held the smile on her face and stood up. She put her hand out to him and when he grabbed it, she helped haul him to his feet.

“Let’s get a drink first, okay?” he asked

“Tequila?”

She laughed as Tony turned a shade of green.

“God, not tequila! How about a beer?” he said

“Sounds good.”

She followed him to the kitchen. He grabbed two beers from the fridge. After twisting off the caps he handed her one and pointing his bottle in the direction of the study they walked down the hallway.

She took a seat in one of the two recliners in the room as he took a seat behind the desk.

They both took a swig from their beers and Tony said “I could not have survived this day without Gibbs. He saved me this morning at the crime scene. The man literally took control and got me to Spence. I think I was in such shock I might have just gone off the deep end if he hadn’t had my six.”

He took another drink and continued “There is something I never told you Abby.”

Abby’s eyebrows shot upwards at that but she remained quiet waiting him out.

Tony sighed and looking down at his hands said “I have been in love with Gibbs for years, Abby.”

There were a few minutes of silence and Tony began to regret his confession. He couldn’t look at Abby.

“I know.” She said 

He looked up at her then. She looked sad but maintained her smile.

“You know?! How…?”

“Oh, please Tony! It was obvious several years ago. Ducky and I even had a bet as to which one of you would declare their love for the other!”

“WHAT?! You and Ducky! How the hell…?”

“Ducky figured it out a while ago. You are excellent undercover Tony, but you were transparent when it came to Gibbs. The need for attention, the way you looked at him, the jealousy when Gibbs brought Kate on board…”

“I was not jealous of Kate!!!”

“Uh huh…keep telling yourself that Tony….”

“Well, okay…maybe a little…but it was nice when it was just me and Gibbs, Abs. Anyway, I was alone with him at his house and we had way too much to drink. Being drunk made me daring. I told him I loved him. We even felt each other up and made out in front of his fire…”

"Oh my God! Tony! Do you know what this means?!”

“What!?” He asked startled by her outburst

“Ducky owes me twenty bucks!’ she laughed at his shocked expression, taking another drink of her beer.

“So you bet that I would tell Gibbs first?”

“Uh huh” she smirked

“Why?”

“Because Gibbs would never hit on his subordinate.”

“FUCK!” he stood up quickly and paced around the room

“That is exactly why he stopped Abby! He said he was my boss and rule 12 and it would never work! It took me so long to get over that. We agreed to never talk about it again and things went back to normal after a while. Then he introduced me to Spence…I will be forever indebted to Gibbs for that. You know I love and adore Spence right, Abs?” Tony was conscious he was using the present tense when talking about Spence. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around Spence being deceased.

“Of course Tony! I know you two were crazy in love!”

Abby used “were” and Tony felt a little sick at that.

“Well, when Gibbs showed up here this afternoon he was so nice. It’s like I could feel he cared for me Abby, like he was holding back but he cared. He actually held me and let me cry and he kept me from falling apart. Then he got cold and distant and pulled away. I was getting mixed messages!”

He decided to leave out the information of seeing Spence on the television so he said “The tequila made me sick and I puked my guts out. My clothes were covered so I took them off and brought them into the laundry room. I was practically naked but didn’t give it much thought but when Gibbs saw me he became flustered and yelled at me to put some clothes on. I felt embarrassed in my own home Abby!”

"I felt I was losing respect in his eyes and I couldn’t handle that. He called Linda for me and then I got angry when he told me she agreed to call him back tomorrow. I was pissed that she was calling him! Like he is the grown up handling things for my dumb ass.”

“Tony! You know Gibbs better than that! He would do anything to help you!”

“That’s just it Abby…I know he will do that for me but I can’t shake the feeling he is disgusted that I can’t handle things on my own.”

He handed her the papers he had left out of Spence’s files.

“This is the reason I called you tonight. When I moved in with Spence he insisted we fill out paperwork to add me as co-owner of the house. I signed and he was supposed to file. As you can see he never did.”  
As Abby scanned the documents he continued:

“I am financially invested in this property Abs but have no legal claim to it.”

Abby gasped and looked up at Tony.

“Everything is in Linda’s name and everything that Spence owns is to be inherited by his sons and his ex. Linda even has control on how to handle Spence’s funeral!”

His voice broke at that truth. He looked down and Abby could see his body begin to shake. She dropped the papers on the desk and walked around and leaned down to meet his eyes.

“Tony” she said with a strength she didn’t really feel “It will be alright. We just need a plan. Do you want to continue to live here?”

“I don’t think I want to Abby.” He said truthfully

“Okay…so we find you a new place to live. Do you and Spence have joint bank accounts?”

“Yes, we have one joint account and we each have our own.”

“Are they at the same bank?”

“Yes”

“Why don’t we go on line and transfer money from the joint account to yours?”

Tony sat and thought for a moment then said quietly

“It’s not about the money, Abs.”

“I know it isn’t with you Tony but if you are about to lose the home to Linda you need to be a mercenary!” she said with contempt

Tony smiled and said “That’s why I called you Abby.”

Abby watched as Tony transferred all the funds, with the exception of one dollar, from the joint account to his own account. Abby saw what Tony had in savings and gave a whistle.

“Whoa! You weren’t kidding that you don’t need the money Tony! You might want to think about diversifying that large sum into something other than 2% interest from a bank.”

“I have a large diversified account in trust, Abs.”

When he saw she looked shocked he added “Inherited trust from my Mother.”

She nodded and said:

“Well at least money is not a problem. You need to decide what you want to do. If you want to fight for the house or if we should find you a home of your own. You know you can always come and stay with me! Gibbs would probably let you stay….”

“I can’t stay with Gibbs, Abby! I have to handle this on my own! I know I am insecure and needy…God, I can’t lose his respect or my own for that matter. I am going to have to handle Linda tomorrow and would appreciate you having my six.”

Abby got a gleam in her eye and with a wicked smile said “Oh, you can count on it, Tony!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was reluctant to sleep in his and Spence’s bed but Abby convinced him to. He said he would but only if she shared it with him. She had agreed and was sleeping deeply beside him as his mind raced.

He ran different scenarios in his mind on how to deal with Linda. None of them cast the outcome in a good light. Linda hated him and he knew she would be more than happy to take over and kick him to the curb. He remembered the first time they met. It was the weekend Tony moved in with Spence. Linda had been shocked when Spence introduced them.

Flashback

Spence and Tony were standing out on the front lawn taking a short break.

“Are you sure that piano will fit in the living room?” Spence asked Tony as they watched the piano movers struggle to get the large object into the house.

“Yes, I measured it Spence. You will still have plenty of room to move or dance around.” Tony joked

“Dance around? Hmmm….that sounds really nice knowing I have a permanent partner living with me.”

Spence smiled at Tony and grabbed him around the neck bringing him close. Spence covered Tony’s mouth with his own and claimed a deep kiss. They broke away when they were interrupted by the slamming of a car door.

Tony watched as a petite brunette wearing Prada sunglasses and a pinched expression on her face stood next to a beautiful, two seat, navy blue, BMW convertible.

“Shit” Tony heard Spence say under his breath as Spence released Tony and took a step back.

The brunette stomped toward them and when she was right next to Spence she lifted her sunglasses up onto her head like a headband. She placed her hands on her hips and with disgust on her face looked Tony up and down and hissed at Spence:

“So, this is your new boy toy, Spence? What is this flavor of the month called?”

Tony noticed Spence’s body go rigid and he bristled at her comments. Spence would not be baited.

“Tony DiNozzo…this is my ex-wife, Linda.”

Tony put out his hand saying “Nice to meet you Linda.”

Linda did not accept Tony’s hand. She looked from the hand up into Tony’s face and just stared at him.

Tony noticed she had pale blue eyes. They would have been pretty if they weren’t filled with obvious hatred and contempt. Spence had warned Tony about Linda’s jealousy but it was still hard to deal with in the flesh.

“I am also the Mother of his two sons!” she said like it was a badge of honor.

Tony lowered his hand and smiled kindly at her. He chose diplomacy and remained silent.

“What do you want Linda?” Spence asked

“I need to talk to you” she said and then added “alone.”

“I have no secrets from Tony, Linda. Anything you have to say you can and will say in front of him. I am guessing this is about money?”

Tony watched as Linda flushed a bright shade of crimson. Spence had hit his target.

Trying to ignore the fact Tony was there she said “I need two thousand dollars!”

She then added “For the boys.”

“What?” Spence said, anger beginning to show “I just sent you the final child support payment two months ago Linda! I have set up accounts for both Sam and Jacob! They have their debit cards and are both over eighteen! I over paid you as a courtesy, Linda. If the boys need cash they know they can call me directly. Why are you really here?”

Tony could tell Linda was about to come unglued. He said to Spence:

“Hey, I’ll see you inside, Spence.”

“NO! Tony I want you to stay!” Spence demanded grabbing Tony’s arm in protest.

Tony could see the growing fury in Linda’s eyes. Tony stayed at Spence’s side against his better judgment.

“I will ask you one last time, Linda. Why do you need the money?”

“Dammit Spence!” Linda spat at him “I do not want to talk in front of your pretty boy!”

Spence’s voice went up two octaves. Tony knew he was pissed.

“Well Linda this “Pretty Boy” is my partner and he has an equal say in how the money ebbs and flows. I will take care of my sons, Linda, but I do not have any more monetary obligation to you. But as a courtesy, I will ask one last time…why do you want the money?!”

Tony saw Linda’s lip quiver as she debated on what she should do. Pride took over and as she slammed her sunglasses down over her eyes, she walked back to her car hurriedly and in a rage.

As she drove away Spence turned to Tony and said “I’m sorry you had to see that Tone. Thank you for staying with me.” Spence gave Tony a quick peck on the lips and headed towards the front steps. Tony watched as Linda’s car disappeared. In the pit of his stomach he knew he had made an enemy and he hadn’t even tried.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony looked at the clock and the digital reading said 2 am. He was still wide awake although he was really exhausted. He listened as Abby snorted in her sleep and then she turned over. He was happy to not be alone. He didn’t think he would ever be able to sleep alone in this bed. If he had to move he didn’t even think he would take the bed with him. He figured if he had to store his stuff he would get rid of the bed and store the beautiful headboard Gibbs had made for them. Tony raised his arm and ran his hand over the carved wood. The headboard was made of a rich walnut and Gibbs had carved out ivy vines throughout. He had even painted the leaves different shades of green. When Gibbs presented them with this special gift he had toasted their union saying:

“Throughout the ages ivy has been regarded as the emblem of fidelity, and of old, Greek priests would present a wreath of ivy to newly married persons. I am well aware of the commitment you two share and felt this would be appropriate. I know you cannot legally marry but I have seen the devotion you have for each other. My love to you both. I wish you years of good health, wealth and happiness.”

Tony smiled remembering that speech. Tony was so touched by Gibbs display of affection.

After Gibbs was done, Tony had jokingly said “I think that is the most I have heard you say at one time in over a month boss!”

He had earned a head slap for that comment.

Tony yawned and rolled over on his side away from Abby. He thought about the first time he and Spence made love after they had attached Gibbs headboard to the wall. Tony was lying on his back and Spence was over him. They were kissing and Spence had pulled back to just look at Tony.

Spence had given Tony the most loving and satisfied look as he said in a lust filled voice:

“The green of the Ivy brings out the green in your eyes, Tone.”

Tony felt a rush of desire ricochet through his body.

Tony and Spence were not hung up on who would top or who would bottom. They were in a natural sync and wherever the mood took them is how they would go.

Tony’s lust for Spence raged inside him. Taking control, Tony rolled Spence over to where Spence was lying on his back and Tony now hovered over him.

Spence looked surprised but smiled acknowledging his submission. This was Tony’s game and Spence was a more than a willing participant. Tony had a hand on each side of Spence’s head. He lowered himself onto Spence’s hard, warm body. Their lips met and Spence yielded to Tony’s demanding tongue. Tony explored his lover’s mouth as Spence took Tony into his arms pulling his body as close as he could.

Tony came up for air and smiling down at Spence he said “I want you to relax. Let me take care of you.”

Spence’s blue eyes were full of lust and desire. He had lost the ability to speak so he just nodded at Tony’s request. Tony smiled at Spence’s compliance. He kissed Spence hard. He then changed tactics and began to lightly kiss his way down Spence’s jaw then to his throat. Tony knew all of Spence’s weak spots and began to work Spence into a sexual frenzy.

Tony kissed and licked his way down Spence’s chest until he reached a nipple. He licked and worked each one with his teeth, biting lightly to the complete arousal of his partner. Tony smiled against Spence’s hot skin as Spence was reduced to a monosyllabic mess.

Tony ran his hand along Spence’s hard stomach and kissed his way down to his navel. Tony inhaled deeply, the smell of Spence’s arousal made Tony’s erection even harder. Tony moved between Spence’s legs and with a hand on each thigh Tony took Spence’s hard cock into his mouth. Spence tasted so wonderful that Tony groaned around the hard shaft. This caused Spence to grab Tony by the hair and with total abandon Spence screamed that he wanted to fuck Tony’s mouth.

Tony did not need a lot of encouragement. He loved taking Spence deep into his throat driving him crazy. Tony massaged and pinched Spence’s balls which elicited growls and groans from his lover.

“Oh God, I’m gonna come Tone…..I can’t hold back…I…I…” and with that Spence exploded his climax inside Tony’s throat. Tony swallowed every drop and licked and cleaned Spence, who had been reduced to a quivering, boneless lump.

Tony moved up Spence’s body and whispered in his ear. “On your stomach, my love.”

Spence complied immediately. Tony massaged Spence’s shoulder as he reached for a tube of lube from their nightstand drawer. Spence was so relaxed and Tony was beyond aroused. Opening the tube Tony applied a generous portion onto his own hard and leaking cock. He heated the lube by rubbing his hands together and then moved his hands over Spence’s tight ass. Tony leaned over Spence’s spent body and as he rubbed his hard cock up and down along the crack of Spence’s ass he said with heated desire:

“I want you, Spence. I am going to take you hard and I am going to empty my balls into you.”

Spence could barely speak but Tony heard him whisper “Do it, Tone!”

That was all Tony needed to hear. With one swift plunge he was balls deep in Spence. Spence writhed under him. Reacting first to the immediate pain of impalement and then giving himself over to the pleasure as Tony hit his prostrate with every thrust.

Spence raised his hips, he wanted Tony as deep as he could go. Tony shifted his weight and grabbing onto the headboard he angled his thrusts to both please and tease Spence.

“Fuck me! Fuck me hard…harder!” Spence demanded

Tony felt sweat running down his chest and his back as he thrust harder into Spence. He could feel his balls tighten and the tingling at the base of his spine as his orgasm rushed to the surface. Tony clung to the headboard, his eyes mesmerized by the intertwined vines of carved ivy. With every thrust he felt his love for Spence grow but his mind wandered to another.

As he shot load after load deep into his lover’s body Tony closed his eyes.

He screamed out Spence’s name but the image in his mind was of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony woke up in a sweat. The clock said 4:30 am. Abby was still sound asleep next to him. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he got up and tip toed to the master bathroom. He splashed water on his face and just stared at his reflection in the mirror.

His memory of making love to Spence had morphed into a dream.

The last image of that dream was of Gibbs.

Tony sat on the edge of the bathtub and felt sick. Not physically ill but spiritually.

He loved Riley Spencer for two years. He loved the man and always would. Thinking of Gibbs, even unconsciously, made Tony feel like he was not being faithful to Spence. His partner had not even been dead 24 hours and Tony was thinking of another.

Tony knew that since he had admitted how he felt to Gibbs, he had had to snuff out the flame of desire.

But if Tony was completely honest, he knew he carried a torch for Gibbs and probably always would.

Tony knew that was a desire that he would never be fulfilled.

He did have love in his life that was real and reciprocated but that love had been taken away. Spence was dead and Tony’s life as he knew it was also dead. How was he supposed to live the rest of his life without Spence. He didn’t have an answer.

Tony thought about what Joe had said were Spence’s last words. “I will see you on the other side, Tone.”

Tony wondered if there was another side. Do you really get to be with the ones you love? Tony hoped that was true. He had a true romantic love with Spence and it was taken away. He could not be angry at Spence for not filing the paperwork for co-ownership of the house. Tony really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about stuff, contrary to what his lifestyle may indicate to others. The expensive suits and expensive tastes were not for show. Tony liked what he liked but what he yearned for more than anything else was to be wanted and loved. He had that with Spence and now he didn’t.

Tony fought the tears but they won. He cried for his loss of Spence and he cried for Spence’s loss of life. He even cried for Joe, Linda, Sam and Jacob. He stopped mid sob and thought of Gibbs. A tear ran down his cheek as he remembered how Gibbs had convinced him to meet Spence.

Flashback

“Just come and meet the guy, DiNozzo. It’s only dinner and drinks.”

“Why are you setting me up, boss?” Tony had asked suspiciously

Gibbs had turned to him and sighed.

“I want you to be happy, Tony.”

“What about your happiness, Gibbs?”

Gibbs shook his head but didn’t answer.

“Just be at my house by 7pm…okay?”

Tony was there at 7pm.

A week later he was on the adventure of a lifetime.

Two years later his life felt over.

His hope was gone, his love was dead, and at this point he realized nothing mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi reading peeps. Thanks to all who have commented or left kudos. I have been an A03 reader for a really long time but have not written here.  
> I actually prefer this site to fanfiction.com and am working on finishing WIPS I have started over at FF and bringing them over here. Navigating this site is a challenge but I do not doubt I will master it (eventually). I have spent the last 2 years finishing a college degree and am now back to writing. Since I am rusty and do not use a beta I appreciate all of you that take time to read and respond. It is a driving force to please when you can see people are engaged with you in the writing/reading process...so THANK YOU!


	9. Chapter 9

'Enough of the self-pity' Tony thought as he stood up from his seated position on the bathtub.

He returned to the bedroom and looked at the alarm clock. It was almost 5 AM. He felt comforted watching Abby sleeping peacefully. He didn’t want to disturb her so he changed his clothes and put on his running shoes.

He would keep his morning routine needing to clear his head before the stressful day got underway. Before he headed out he set the timer on the coffee pot for one hour. He wrote Abby a quick note telling her where he went. He placed it under the black mug with glow in the dark skulls he had bought especially for her a few years ago. He set the mug next to the coffee pot. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. When he turned off the kitchen light the skulls glowed in the darkness.

He grabbed his wallet, his keys and his phone zipping them securely in his running pants pockets. As he walked through the living room the crystal vase on the piano caught his eye. He noted the birds of paradise he had bought Spence last week were sagging and in need of replacing. Beside the vase that Spence cherished, there were three framed photos on the piano. The first was of Spence with his Mother and Grandmother. The second was of Tony and his Mother. These photos were taken when both men were little boys. 

The third was of the two of them together. It was a photo Abby had snapped of them soon after they had moved in together. Tony remembered that day. Abby kept trying to get Tony to sit still as she tried to take a photo and Spence had walked up behind him. He rested his head on Tony’s shoulder and had whispered “The sooner Abby gets the photo, the sooner she leaves, and the sooner we get to misbehave”.  
Spence had then kissed Tony’s cheek and turned his eyes towards the lens as Abby took the shot. 

Spence was smiling; his arms draped over Tony’s shoulders a glint of mischief in his eyes. Tony’s face was complete joy with a hint of surprise in his eyes. He wore a huge smile and had placed his hands up, holding Spence’s arms down around him. It was his favorite photo of the two of them.

He rubbed his eyes determined not to cry. He headed to the door and exited. He locked up and inhaled the crisp cold air of an early D.C. morning. He would run without his IPod. Too many songs would remind him of Spence. He hit the pavement at a steady pace. The only sounds were his breathing, his footfalls on the asphalt and an occasional neighbor saying hello as they got their morning newspaper. Tony ran his usual path, keeping pace even and his mind blank for about 30 minutes.

He slowed down as he reached the area in his neighborhood that had a few small businesses.

There was a coffee café, a news stand, a health food store and the small florist Tony frequented weekly. The owner, Giuseppe Manacuso, was directing his flower vendors where to place his daily flower orders.

“Anthony!” Manacuso greeted Tony with a smile and a wave of his hand.

“Mornin’ Giuseppe” Tony greeted his friend “Hey, I know it’s early but do you think I can pick up a bouquet now?”

“For my best customer?! Anytime Anthony! What would you like this week?”

“A dozen white roses.”

Manacuso’s brows furrowed at first but then he got a surprised look on his face and he laughed.

“Oh, Tony….you and Spence have a fight?”

Tony’s eyes burned but he held Manacuso’s gaze and shaking his head said:

“Spence was killed yesterday, Giuseppe.”

Manacuso gasped as his hand covered his mouth “Spence was the cop killed in that shootout?”

Tony nodded as he said:

“I have always heard white roses represent loss and sympathy along with purity and love….”

Tony began to choke up so he stopped talking.

Manacuso stepped forward and pulled Tony into a tight embrace as he quietly said “I am so sorry Tony. Come in” he directed Tony into the shop “Let me arrange something for you in honor of your Spence.”

Tony watched as Giuseppe Manacuso took eleven beautiful white roses and arranged them with fern and baby’s breath. He added a single blood red rose to the eleven white making it an even dozen.

“One single red rose is a sign of devotion, Anthony. I am so sorry about Spence.” He said as he handed the bouquet to Tony. Tony had reached for his wallet and Manacuso shook his head saying “This one is on me. Spence was a good man. My condolences to you and your families, Anthony.”

“Thank you, Giuseppe. These are beautiful.” Tony said quietly as he inhaled the rich scent of the flowers.

He shook Manacuso’s hand and accepted a hug in return. Tony said goodbye and walked back towards his home.

As he passed the news stand he caught the headline of the morning Washington Post:

“Decorated D.C. Police Officer Gunned Down by Los Muretos M C Initiates”

What the fuck!? Spence was gunned down because of some gang banger initiation!

Tony paid for the newspaper with a shaking hand. He folded the paper and put it under his arm. He would wait until he got home to read it. He began to feel light headed as he walked. Tony knew the world was full of senseless violence but he couldn’t think of Spence dying such a senseless death. Spence had seen combat in two tours of Afghanistan and seen the worst the D.C. streets produced. To be cut down by a freak shot just above his vest by some gang banger initiate had Tony’s blood boiling. Tony wished Spence’s bullet had been true and he had at least ended the man who ended him.

Tony made a mental note to call Spence’s partner Joe later in the day. Tony knew Joe would be on administrative leave pending the investigation of the shootout.

When Tony entered his house he heard music blaring in the kitchen. Abby must have found Spence’s IPod and docked it into the kitchen speakers. Tony smiled as “Disco Inferno” reverberated off the walls. Tony and Spence both loved the movie "Saturday Night Fever” but Tony was not a big disco fan. Spence was only one of two people who could get him up to “boogie”. The other person was Abby. Tony chuckled to himself as he threw the newspaper down on the couch and grabbed the vase off the piano and headed into the kitchen.

He set the vase and the bouquet down on the kitchen counter and stood back to watch Abby dancing around using a spatula as a microphone. She was very entertaining. When she noticed she was not alone she screeched and threw the spatula into the sink.

“TONY! You scared me!” she yelled, but soon broke out in laughter as she enjoyed seeing Tony laughing at her.

“Oh God Abs….the way you threw that spatula, like it caught fire in your hand…” he was almost in hysterics.

They roared with laughter until the song ended and Tony realized the next song had started. It was Chaka Khan singing “Ain’t Nobody”. Tony pulled the IPod out of the speaker dock and turned it off. Tony could not handle a love song at the moment especially one he knew Spence favored. Very few people knew what a romantic sap Spence was. Tony wondered if he could ever listen to another love song and not feel empty.

He smiled at Abby in lieu of an apology. She understood and pulled Spence’s chipped USMC mug out of the kitchen cupboard and poured Tony a cup of coffee. She handed it to him after adding sugar and hazelnut creamer. He took a drink and gave her a wink of approval.

She picked up the roses and buried her nose in them.

“God, these smell incredible Tony! They are so beautiful…Spence would have loved them.”

Would have loved them…past tense... Fuck.

Tony set down the mug and busied himself replacing the old flowers with the new.

Abby watched him silently. When Tony had them arranged he wiped the bottom of the crystal vase and returned it to its place on the piano. Abby had followed Tony carrying both of their coffee mugs. Tony set the vase down and stood back to admire the roses for Spence. He accepted his mug from Abby and she tapped his mug with hers.

He smiled at her and said “Thank you Abby, for being here for me.”

She returned his smile saying “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else Tony.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs drove to the naval yard bleary eyed and sleep deprived. He had a 32oz coffee in his hand. 

It was his second of the day.

When Gibbs had arrived home the night before, he couldn’t get over the feeling he had abandoned Tony. He had promised Spence he would watch out for Tony and he couldn’t help but feel he had failed both men.

A night of working on the boat and downing bourbon after bourbon was not a smart substitute for a good night’s rest. Gibbs could not rest. He could not stop thinking about Tony and Spence.

Tony had seemed decisive. He said he would handle things and get back to Gibbs. Gibbs needed to honor that request. It was the look on Tony’s face that got to Gibbs. That little boy lost look. Gibbs would only admit it to himself but Tony’s vulnerability was one of the things he found most attractive about Tony.

Tony was physically very attractive. No one could deny that. Gibbs was not immune to that aspect of Anthony DiNozzo. But it was really Tony’s heart, his inner beauty that appealed to Gibbs. Tony’s empathy, his intelligence, his wit-though at times infuriating-made Gibbs laugh and really brightened his days. Tony was loyal and brave and dependable.

Someone, most likely his father, had broken Tony at a very young age. Yet Tony had emerged from childhood trauma a highly capable and loving human being. That was to Tony’s credit. Gibbs knew when they first met that Tony was searching for someone to believe in him. Tony’s ability to handle Gibbs moods and call him on his shit made Tony invaluable to Gibbs. They had the perfect working partnership.

Gibbs thought back to the night Tony made his move. The kid had guts even if he was drunk.

When Tony had confessed to Gibbs he was in love with him, Gibbs felt a rush of desire he tried to extinguish. He remembered the fear in Tony’s face as Tony pulled back after he had leaned in and gently kissed Gibbs on the lips. Gibbs remembered being shocked but he choose not to speak. Instead he leaned towards Tony and rewarded Tony with a tender kiss of his own.

That one simple kiss washed over Tony and his fear vanished. He placed his hand behind Gibbs neck and pulled him in for a deep exploratory kiss. Gibbs battled Tony’s tongue for dominance as they fumbled like teenagers on a first date. Fingers ran through strands of hair, hands explored hard muscles. Tony moved to lie down on the couch pulling Gibbs hard body down to cover his own. Each man’s arousal was evident as Tony gasped feeling Gibbs hard cock pushing down against his own.

That gasp snapped Gibbs back to reality. He had to stop this. He was Tony’s boss. He couldn’t jeopardize their working relationship.

He stood up abruptly saying “NO! We can’t. I can’t do this Tony. I’m your boss!”

Tony just lay on the couch looking up at Gibbs. Tony’s eyes clouded in disbelief as he yelled:

"I know you want me as much as I want you! Don't shut the door on something that could be really fantastic!"

'God, Tony was so erotically beautiful in that one moment. Eyes filled with an equal mix of wanton lust, hope and desire and I destroyed it!' he thought.

Tony had broken down and cried for their lost moment.

Gibbs shook his head trying to clear that image from his mind.

He often wondered if he had just allowed the moment to play out how his life and Tony’s might be different.

He shelved his feelings as he pulled into his parking space. He would give Tony a few days but if he didn’t hear from him soon he didn’t think he could stay away.

Gibbs knew he wanted Tony and he would not throw away another opportunity if it might present itself.

Gibbs would give Tony time to grieve. He would pay Spence and Tony’s relationship the respect it deserved. Gibbs would look for an opportunity to tell Tony the truth of his feelings for him. If the opportunity didn’t arise on its own, Gibbs knew that when the time was right he would do what he needed to do to make Tony his own. He just hoped he still had a chance. He hoped Tony wouldn’t reject him and the way Gibbs had hurt Tony in that one moment may have destroyed any romantic future the two of them might share.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs got out of his car and headed into the office. His coffee had grown cold but it didn’t matter. He slammed it down as he walked. He crushed the empty cup in frustration.

Waiting for the next few days to pass was going to be agonizing.


	10. Chapter 10

Tony and Abby had breakfast together and then Tony went up to take a quick shower.

He knew he would break down if he showered in the master bath so he used the guest bathroom instead. He had way too many memories of time spent with Spence in the shower of their master bath. He needed to stay together to get through the day.

He dried off and dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a one of Spence’s USMC T-shirts. He was barefoot as he walked down the stairs. He entered the living room and found Abby coming in from outside. She had left her bag in her hearse and had gone to retrieve it.

“Showers open, Abs” he said

She walked past him and ruffled his damp hair.

“I won’t be very long.”

“Take your time, Abby. I’m going to read the paper.”

She headed upstairs and he grabbed the newspaper off the couch and headed into the kitchen. He poured himself another cup of coffee. He was just stirring in the hazelnut creamer when the home phone rang.

Tony looked at the clock. It was just 7:30 am. He wondered who would be calling so early. When he answered he was surprised it was his friend and frat brother Steve Adler.

“Tony! I just heard about Spence. I wanted to see if you are okay and if you needed anything!”

“Thanks, Steve. I’m okay” he lied “Um, how did you find out about Spence?”

Steve Adler had moved back to Ohio over a year ago and Tony doubted Spence’s death would have been covered locally.

Steve was quiet for a minute and said “It’s all over the news, Tony. ZNN has been running the story continually.”

“What?! Why?” Tony stood up and walked into the living room.

He grabbed the remote and pointed it to the flat screen TV over the fireplace. With the remote set to mute he clicked through various stations while listening to Steve explain.

“ZNN reported members of Los Muertos M C tried to kill Spence’s partner last night in retaliation for killing one of them.”

Tony froze in place.

“Joe Alvarez? No way! Is he dead, Steve?!”

“No Tony, he isn’t dead but they did wound him. ZNN reported he is at Bethesda.”

“That’s where the dirt bag that shot Spence is!”

“I know. ZNN also reported Los Muertos tried to rescue him from the hospital. There was a shootout and two gang members, including the one who shot Spence, were killed.”

“There was a shootout at the hospital! Christ!” Tony yelled in disbelief.

He finally had ZNN on screen.

There was a reporter standing in front of Bethesda Hospital and there were several cop cars behind her, lights flashing in the darkness. This had all happened over the last twelve hours. It was hard to grasp.

Before Tony turned up the volume he said “Thanks for calling Steve but I have to go!”

“Okay Tony but please, please do not hesitate to call me if you need me. I will be on the first flight I can get!”

That warmed Tony’s heart. Steve Adler was more than just a fraternity brother. He was the closest thing to a real brother Tony had. Steve had bestowed Tony with the nickname “sex machine” during their frat days at Ohio State. Steve was the only one who knew that Tony was bisexual. Steve was straight and did not have a homophobic bone in his body. Tony knew Steve loved him. Steve was one of the few people in Tony’s life he could count on without question.

Tony sat back on the couch and just stared at the TV. The reporter was giving a recap of the early morning events. Tony was relieved that Spence’s killer was dead but he was worried about Joe. He picked up the phone and called Bethesda. The lines were busy so he called a friend of Spence’s at the Police Station.

Lt. Hal Murray picked up on the second ring.

“Hey Hal…its Tony DiNozzo. I was calling to see how Joe Alvarez is doing?”

“Tony!” Hal seemed happy to hear from him but then Hal’s voice got very serious.

“Joe is in critical condition. Those motherfuckers shot him when he was leaving for the night. Shot him right out in the open as he was heading to his car. Brazen fucks! Docs at Bethesda say Joe should recover. We have a protection team on him. Make sure you take your badge if you go to see him. I’ll make sure your name is on the list.”

“Thanks Hal” Tony replied

Hal then said quietly “I’m sorry about Spence, Tony. We got the autopsy results back if you want to know the final report.”

Tony took a deep breath and said “Yes, I would like to know.”

“The M.E. confirmed the bullet hit the axillary artery under the right arm pit. Spence didn’t have a chance even if he had immediate care. “

Tony closed his eyes and he felt his throat constrict. He fought down the bile that wanted to rush up from his stomach. He cleared his throat and said:

“Thanks Hal. I will call back today with instructions on what mortuary to have Spence moved too.”

Hal didn’t respond so Tony wondered if he was still on the line.

“Hal?”

“Tony, Linda submitted instructions to claim Spence’s body last night. His body is being transported to Virginia this morning at 10 am. She has plans to have him buried on his family’s estate.”

Tony could not speak. The shock of what Hal had just told him repeatedly looped in his brain but no other part of his body responded.

He could hear Hal calling his name and he could hear Abby asking him what was wrong. He felt Abby take the phone from his hand and he heard her speaking to someone.

He heard Abby scream “THAT FUCKING BITCH!”

He heard Abby say thank you and good bye. He felt her hands on his shoulders and he obeyed her command to sit down. He felt the comfort of the couch beneath him.

He heard Abby cussing and crying but he wasn’t sure who she was directing her anger towards. Surly it couldn’t me him, could it? His mind wandered and he wondered what he might have done to incur her wrath.

Abby was suddenly sitting in front of him. He could see her lips moving and she looked scared and concerned. He felt her hands cradling his face as her eyes darted back and forth seeking some kind of reaction from him. He was conscious of what she was doing but did not let it concern him. He looked past her and focused on the roses on the piano. He zeroed in on that one blood red rose and shut down.

He heard Abby scream “FUCK!”

She was silent for a few minutes and then he heard her panicked voice pleading:

“GIBBS! I need you to come to Tony’s house…..NOW!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warn you all now I love a cliffhanger. I will try not to keep you hanging long.  
> Thanks again for all the kudos and comments...have a great weekend everybody. I live in Las Vegas  
> Nevada and will be hiding out of the heat for the weekend and the plan is to write, edit and post.


	11. Chapter 11

Gibbs walked into an empty bullpen. Kate and McGee were temporarily assigned to Balboa’s team due to the change at yesterday’s crime scene. They could not break the chain of evidence so Gibbs team, at least part of his team, had to remain.

He checked his phone messages and spoke briefly with the Director. He knew Abby was going to be with Tony today so he relaxed knowing Tony was not alone. He made a quick trip to the coffee kiosk and then worked on the load of paper work he always seemed to accumulate.

He would be doing the tedious requisition forms Tony usually did for at least the next two weeks.

He hated paperwork. One nice thing about being the boss was the power of delegation. Unfortunately for Gibbs, the paperwork Tony did was at SFA level or higher. Gibbs had not had to do SFA work in years. Another reason Tony was invaluable to him. He hoped Tony was doing okay.

He had just taken a sip of coffee and was rubbing his tired eyes when he heard the familiar “ding” of the elevator. He looked up to see Ducky exit and head his way. Ducky looked tired and Gibbs noticed he had his coat on and his hat in his hand. Gibbs could tell Ducky was not arriving for the day but was just about to leave.

“Been here all night, Duck?”

“I have indeed, Jethro. Thankfully Gerald and I were able to complete the four young men who were shot execution style. The other two fellows will take a while longer I’m afraid. I am on my way home for a bit of rest.”

Gibbs smiled at his friend and said “You look like you need it Duck.”

“You look like you could use some rest as well, Jethro. I wanted to check with you and see how Anthony is faring?”

Gibbs was about to respond when his cell phone rang.

“Abby” he said aloud so Ducky would know who was calling.

Gibbs felt his gut begin to stir as he answered the phone.

“Hey Abs” he greeted her.

He was not quite prepared to hear the panic in her voice.

“GIBBS! I need you to come to Tony’s house…NOW!”

Gibbs stood up quickly saying “What’s wrong Abby?!”

“It’s Tony, Gibbs! I...I..I don’t know what’s wrong with him! He seems to be in shock and he is not responding to me!”

Ducky looked very concerned so Gibbs put the call on speaker.

“Was he like that when you got there this morning?” Gibbs inquired

“No, it just happened. I have actually been here since late last night. We had a few drinks and I spent the night with him.”

Gibbs was surprised at that revelation and a bit hurt. He shrugged those feeling off as Abby continued.

“He seemed to be doing okay but then he found out what Linda did and…”

Gibbs gut exploded at the mention of Linda.

“Hang on Abby. I will be right over…”

“I will accompany you, Jethro” Ducky volunteered

“Ducky and I will be right there Abby. Don’t panic. Just keep an eye on Tony.”

“Okay…but hurry Gibbs!”

Gibbs drove like a bat out of hell and he was happy to see that Dr. Mallard had kept up. The two men arrived at Tony’s house at the same time.

Abby met them at the door. Her face was flushed and her eyes were red and puffy. She led them to Tony.

“He hasn’t moved” she said softly “He has just been staring at those roses on the piano.”

Tony was sitting on the couch. His body was stiff and unmoving. He was staring towards the piano. The only movement they could see was the slow rise and fall of Tony’s chest and the occasional blink of his eyes.

Gibbs decided to defer to Ducky.

Ducky moved in front of Tony and sat on the coffee table facing him.

“Oh, my dear boy” he said soothingly “Let me take a look at you.”

Ducky reached out and took a hold of Tony’s wrist. Gibbs and Abby knew Ducky was checking Tony’s pulse so they remained quiet. Tony didn’t move.

Ducky frowned. He then raised his right hand and waved it in front of Tony’s face. Tony did not respond.

“Anthony?” Ducky said quietly

No response.

“Look at me Tony!” Ducky said forcefully

No response.

Ducky looked closely at Tony’s eyes and found them to be dilated.

“Hmmm” Ducky said as he sat back.

“What’s wrong with him Ducky?” Abby asked fearfully

She had beaten Gibbs to that question.

Gibbs could tell Abby was stressed so he pulled her close as they watched Ducky examine Tony.

“Tell us what transpired up to the point Anthony stopped responding to you, Abigail.”

“Well, Tony was up early this morning and he went for a run. He stopped and got that bouquet of roses for Spence. We had coffee and breakfast and he took a shower and said he was going to read the paper. I went up to shower and when I came down a few minutes later he was just standing here holding the phone. I could hear someone on the line calling Tony’s name. I had to pry the phone out of his hand Ducky!”

“Go on, Abs” Gibbs encouraged her

“The man on the phone was a friend of Spence’s from the police station. He told Tony that Linda put in a claim for Spence’s body last night. She is having him moved this morning at 10 am to Virginia to be buried at the family plot!”

Abby pulled away from Gibbs and yelled “Tony told me what happened last night Gibbs. He told me he was angry that Linda told YOU she would call YOU this morning. She didn’t contact you did she?”

“I haven’t talked to her since yesterday afternoon, Abs.” Gibbs confirmed solemnly

Gibbs could tell Abby was getting furious. He fought the urge to join her.

“So she has chosen to completely disregard Tony and his feelings!”

She pulled away from Gibbs and headed towards the front door.

“I need some air!” She yelled as she opened the door, stepped outside and slammed the door behind her.

“What do you think Duck?” Gibbs asked as Ducky stood up and the men moved a few steps away from Tony.

“Tony looks sedate but his heart beat is racing. His pupils are dilated, which can occur with any type of anxiety but are most common during periods of intense anxiety.”

“Like PTSD or panic attacks?”

“Precisely” Ducky confirmed then continued

“Spence’s violent, untimely death and then the brutal disregard of Tony’s love for him may have been too much. I think Tony is just disassociating.”

“Disassociating?” Gibbs looked at Tony and frowned

“Yes, Jethro. Disassociating is somewhat akin to an out of body or out of mind experience. There is simply too much stress for the mind to handle. A bipolar response would be - to get angry, manic, or anxious or depressed….”

“DiNozzo is not bipolar Duck! Hell, anyone would respond to the news Tony just got with anger!”

“True, but in some people the mind reacts by bolting from the scene.”

Gibbs took a few minutes to think about what Ducky had said. He sat down across from Tony and looking at Ducky said:

“Give me a couple of minutes with him Duck.”

Ducky nodded and said “I will go check on Abby.”

When Gibbs and Tony were alone Gibbs said:

“Okay DiNozzo, enough is enough! You have our attention!”

No response.

“DINOZZO!” Gibbs yelled

No response.

“Dammit Tony!” Gibbs said giving Tony a light head slap

Tony blinked but he still did not respond.

A feeling of fear seeped in to Gibbs mind when Tony did not respond to the head slap. He thought that one act would work if all else failed. He wasn’t sure how to proceed. It seemed too early but Gibbs wondered if the opportunity he was waiting for had arrived.

Gibbs reached out and cradled Tony’s face in his hands.

Speaking quietly he said “Tony, you need to snap out of this. Talk to me, Tony……Please!”

Gibbs didn’t know what it was exactly that made Tony’s eyes shift to his own.

If Tony could tell him it was that Gibbs had said please.

Gibbs kept his grip on Tony’s face and the two men just stared at each other.

Gibbs could see the empty, haunted look that Tony’s eyes had held begin to fade as the light of recognition set in.

A single tear ran down Tony’s cheek as he said “Spence is dead, Gibbs.”

It was said as a simple statement of absolute truth.

Gibbs used his thumb to wipe away Tony’s tear. He then released Tony’s face but never losing eye contact; Gibbs sat back and confirmed “Yes Tony. Spence is dead.”

A few minutes of silence passed between them until Tony spoke.

“Why?” Tony asked with barely a whisper

Gibbs refrained from saying the cliché “Perhaps it was just Spence’s time”. He always thought that statement was bullshit. He could see the need to understand in Tony’s eyes but Gibbs did not have an answer.

“I don’t know, Tony.”

Tony looked away from Gibbs, shaking his head from side to side as he leaned back against the couch; he placed his hands on his knees.

He looked up at Gibbs and said “I can’t do this anymore. “

The hurt in Tony’s beautiful green eyes took Gibbs breath away. Gibbs was almost afraid to ask.

“What? What can’t you do Tony?”

“Love someone...”

Gibbs closed his eyes and tried to fight his immediate emotional reaction. He opened his eyes and found Tony had hung his head and was staring at his hands. Gibbs reached out with his right hand. He wanted to touch Tony and tell him….

The moment was broken when Abby and Ducky entered the room.

“TONY!” Abby squealed as Gibbs dropped his arm, his eyes to the floor.

Tony looked her way and wiping his eyes said softly “Hey Abs.”

She flopped down on the couch next to him and threw her arms around him saying:

“God, Tony, you scared the hell out of me!”

He held her tight as he watched Gibbs get up from the coffee table.

Gibbs stopped when he got to the piano. That’s when Tony noticed Gibbs was not alone.

“Ducky?” Tony said, noticing the M E for the first time “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking up on you, my boy. I am so sorry about Spence, Tony. How are you feeling?”

“Thanks, Ducky. I’m fine” Tony said automatically hugging Abby closer.

“Right” Ducky said looking at Gibbs. Ducky noticed a deep sadness in Gibbs that had not been there before.

Ducky looked back at Tony and said “Since all seems fine I will take my leave.” Ducky gathered up his coat and hat and turning towards Gibbs said “Would you walk me out, Jethro?”

“Sure Duck” Gibbs replied following Ducky to the door.

Ducky just waved when Tony and Abby called after him saying in unison “Bye Ducky!”

Abby was giggling at something Tony said as Gibbs closed the front door and walked with Ducky towards his car.

“Thanks for coming with me Duck.” Gibbs told his old friend as Ducky unlocked his door.

Ducky ignored Gibbs comment saying:

“You know Jethro, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, suggested that mourners pass through five stages of grief-denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.”

“I’ve heard that Duck.” Gibbs brows furrowed wondering what Ducky was getting at.

“Where do you think Anthony is at this moment?”

“Gee Duck; you’re the doctor…since Spence was literally killed less than 36 hours ago you tell me?”

Ducky frowned at Gibbs.

Gibbs relented and said “I think Tony finally grasps Spence is really dead.”

“Then denial is vanquished.”

“So now what?” Gibbs asked

“That depends on what Tony does now. Does he want to confront Linda for not consulting him before she decided to have Spence’s body moved without his knowledge?”

“I don’t know?” Gibbs said. He remained silent as to the words he would like to shower on Linda if given the opportunity.

“I suggest you find out, Jethro.” Ducky said patting Gibbs shoulder with affection

“I also suggest you allow Anthony time to work through the other stages I mentioned. Grief and loss are different for us all but telling the young man you are in love with him right now would be too soon.”

Gibbs jaw dropped as he yelled “WHAT!?”

The shock on Gibbs face brought forth a deep chuckle from the M.E.

“Abigail confided in me that Tony disclosed he professed his love for you well over two years ago. It is very admirable that you loved the boy enough to find him a suitable replacement since you could not allow yourself happiness and denied Tony what he desired.”

“Ducky!” Gibbs growled in anger “What in the hell are you…”

“Tsk tsk, Jethro, who is in denial now?”

Gibbs face paled and he looked down, ashamed.

“Do not fret my dear friend. Time heals all. Be there for him and be easy on yourself. You have suffered a deep loss as well, Jethro.”

Gibbs smirked at Ducky and said “Thanks for kicking my ass Ducky.”

Dr. Donald Mallard got a mischievous twinkle in his eye and gave Gibbs a knowing smile as he got behind the wheel of his Morgan.

He waved to Gibbs as he headed home, happy to see the heavy sadness gone from Gibbs face.

He did not share with Gibbs that Ducky left Tony’s home twenty dollars shy.

Abby always collected on a bet.


	12. Chapter 12

“Oh my God, Abby! What the hell happened that Gibbs and Ducky ended up here!?” Tony asked trying to keep the panic from his voice as Gibbs walked Ducky out to his car.

“It was like you were in a trance, Tony, like you were catatonic! Do you know what made you snap out of it?”

Tony thought for a few minutes.

“I remember Gibbs saying please…and then I saw him in front of me.”

Tony bolted upright and said “I remember Hal saying Linda arranged to bury Spence’s body…..without me!”

“Damn her, Abby! She didn’t even have the decency to ask for my input.” He cried

“Do you want to go duke it out with her?” she asked excitedly

“Yes! I think I do!” he said with conviction

“Well then, finish getting dressed and let’s go.” Gibbs said from the doorway.

He had walked back in and caught the tail end of their conversation.

While Abby went to get dressed, Tony grabbed a pair of socks and put on his tennis shoes. Gibbs had grabbed a mug of coffee from the kitchen and sat on the piano bench watching Tony. When Tony finished lacing his shoes he looked at Gibbs and said “Thanks again from being here boss.”

Gibbs nodded in reply and said “Did you find anything in Spence’s papers that gave you a clue as to how he wanted to be buried?”

“No. I didn’t find anything except some old documents giving Linda control over his remains.” Tony choked on the word “remains”. Abby had just come down the stairs and Tony shot her a glare. Gibbs was looking at the photo of Spence and Tony on the piano so he did not see their visual exchange. With one look, Abby got the message from Tony to stay quiet about anything else regarding Spence’s estate.

She understood and gave him a shy smile.

“No use in bringing that document with us then, Tony. Without legal papers to stop her we are going to be at her mercy. I’ve known Linda a long time. Maybe I can talk some sense into her.”

Gibbs looked at his watch. It was almost 9:30 am. Gibbs pulled out his phone and called Linda. It went to voice mail. He hung up without leaving a message. He looked at Tony and said:

“We will be too late if we drive to the station. Linda may not be there anyway. Chances are she is going to be at the Spencer Estate. Do you want to drive out there?”

Tony hesitated. He had only been to Spence’s family estate once and it had been ugly. Spence was the eldest of four brothers. Their mother had died young so the four boys had been raised mainly by their Grandmother. Their Father lived under the same roof but was a distant parent. He was interested in maintaining the family name and income. He had passed away a year ago and the estate was currently maintained by Spence’s brother, William. Tony really didn’t know Spence’s brothers but he did know that Spence and William did not get along. The two men had a blow out when Spence brought Tony home to meet his family. There was screaming and name calling and grandstanding that verged on violence.

It was so awful and awkward, Tony and Spence left within 30 minutes. In that short time, Tony had met William and Spence’s two younger brothers, James and John Jr. They were not as rude as William but their indifference was apparent. At least they met Tony. Spence’s father was at the estate but refused to even attend their visit.

Spence’s father, John Spencer, hated that his son had chosen to be a marine and then a cop. Much like Tony’s background, Spence was raised in affluence and chose a profession that was deemed unbecoming-“too blue collar” is what both their Father’s said.

Add a divorce, due to his son being gay, and John Spencer never spoke to Spence again. He had no use for Spence let alone Spence’s “partner”.

“We can give it a shot, Boss, but last time I was there things were less than welcoming.”

Gibbs thought a moment. He knew Spence’s family better than Tony. He knew the family would rally around Linda and her sons, leaving Tony out altogether. But, he would do his best to fight for Tony and for Spence.

“What is it that you want from all of this Tony? Are you okay with Spence being buried with his family?”

“I think Spence would be pleased to be with his Mom and Grandmother. I would like the opportunity to be at the funeral and would just like to have the ability to visit his grave periodically and bring him flowers.” He answered quietly.

“I think that is very reasonable.” Gibbs agreed

“Let’s go make it happen!” Abby said exuberantly

Her optimism was wonderful but Gibbs felt she may be giving Tony false hope.

They took Gibbs Challenger. It would take them about an hour to get there. The three of them drove in silence all wondering what they would soon be facing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Linda Marshall Spencer was heartbroken when she heard Spence was killed. Her boys had lost their father and she had lost the only man she truly loved.

It took her only ninety minutes to realize what a wonderful opportunity arose in his early demise.

Her crocodile tears evaporated into a smile when she realized she could milk the role of “grieving widow.” She made the appropriate calls and found out she was main beneficiary to Spence’s life insurance, police pension, and military pension and there would probably be a nice death benefit since Spence was cut down on the job. She even saved with funeral expenses having Spence buried in the family plot. Linda had always gotten along with William Spencer and he was more than happy to assist her in bringing his brother, Riley, home. William may not have approved of his brother’s lifestyle, feeling he was wayward and misguided, but they were blood and Riley belonged with his family.

Though Spence and Linda had been divorced for years, Spence’s family and most of their mutual friends did not know the whole picture. Linda was still madly in love with Spence. It wasn’t her fault Spence “turned gay” and didn’t want to be married to her anymore.

She knew Spence would not have set anything in writing to help his boy toy. Linda had practically had to hold a gun to Spence’s head to have him sign a last will and testament or get life insurance and death benefits filled out for her and the kids. She stayed on top of the legal game. She had to. She had a lot to lose and since she didn’t have much to her name she would make sure if something happened to Spence she and their boys would be taken care of. Linda had even stayed up hours after Gibbs had called her with the news of Spence’s death searching property records. She was pleased to find the bungalow Spence had purchased a few years ago was solely in his name. That meant she and the kids would inherit. She would delight in taking the boy toy’s, whatever his name is, home from right out from under him.

“Serves that bastard right for stealing Spence away!” she thought as she perused County property records.

She remembered the night she first met, Tony something or other. Spence had said his name but Linda didn’t care. She figured he would be gone within the month. That seemed to be Spence’s record. Linda was patient and waited for Spence to be alone again. She always regrouped and made another move to reunite them. But this Tony didn’t leave. He stayed and Spence seemed like a man reborn.

Linda hated this boy toy with every bit she could muster. He was a home wrecker and he was going to pay for that transgression. She would make sure of that, if it was the last thing she ever did.

She chuckled to herself at how cliché those thoughts were. Too bad this boy toy didn’t have a bunny she could boil. She laughed out loud at that.

Feeling secure in what she could get away with she made the call and arranged for Spence’s body to be transferred to the family estate. She would be there with her sons to welcome their father home. Linda had decided to forgo a funeral and would allow the Police Department to honor him since he had fallen in the line of duty. She had even begun to think about what she would wear to the ceremony. She had to look her best when they folded up the American Flag and presented it to her as she stood there stoically, behind dark sunglasses with dignity and contained grief.

She opened a new window on her lap top and Googled, Jackie Kennedy, images. She scrolled through the various pictures of Jackie O. at the funerals of her husband and his brother.

'1960’s widow's chic it is!' she thought

She made a note to check out some vintage stores to hunt for the proper attire.


	13. Chapter 13

As luck would have it, the hearse bearing Spence’s casket was pulling onto the estate grounds as Gibbs whipped the Challenger down the last portion of highway. He slowed his vehicle as he followed the hearse onto the property.

He noticed the estate was now surrounded by a high fence and there was an intercom right before the front gate. These were new. Gibbs had accompanied Spence to the estate about five years ago and at that time there had only been hedges and a very welcoming driveway to the main house. Gibbs wondered if William had these new features installed after Spence’s father died.

The two-story, red brick, Georgian Style mansion was directly ahead but the hearse took the fork to the left towards the separate building behind the main house. Gibbs knew the family cemetery was back there and to the far left of the property. The cemetery could actually be seen from the highway.

Gibbs proceeded up the drive to the main house.

“Whoa!” Abby had leaned forward from the backseat and was admiring the stately home in front of them.

“Spence never said he came from money!” She said in wide eyed shock.

“Spence never really cared too much for money.” Gibbs said as Tony shook his head in agreement.

“He also wasn’t impressed by family name or lineage.” Tony added

He turned towards Abby and said “Spence ever tell you they are related to the British Spencer’s?”

“You mean as in Lady Diana Spencer?” She asked with a raised eyebrow

“Yep…somehow they are cousins so many times removed. I was impressed but Spence couldn’t care less. It was his brother, William, who actually told me about the family connection when I met him two years ago. We didn’t talk for very long but he made sure to throw that information around. I remember Spence told him to “Can it! No one gives a shit we have some connection to some British royals. Our family came here to escape that oppressive bullshit.”

Gibbs chuckled, saying “That sounds like Spence.”

Tony laughed at the memory and added “William turned beet red when Spence said that. God, the dude was pissed at Spence. We left shortly after that.”

The three companions were silent for a few minutes.

Turning to Gibbs, Tony said “Boss, I don’t think this visit is going to end well.”

Gibbs said nothing but his gut was churning. He had a feeling Tony was right.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs maneuvered the Challenger around the circular drive, parking next to a large fountain displayed prominently in front of the house. The three of them got out and headed for the front door. Tony spied Linda’s Navy Blue BMW among several other cars. At least he knew for a fact she was here.

Tony’s stomach felt queasy and he was happy Gibbs and Abby were with him for moral support.

Gibbs rang the doorbell and after several minutes the door was answered by Spence’s brother James.

He was a much younger version of Spence with the same sandy blood hair and muscular build. The only difference was where Spence’s eyes were blue, James’ eyes were hazel.

“Gibbs?!” James said, looking surprised but happy to see Spence’s old friend. Gibbs stuck out his hand towards James and as the men shook hands Gibbs said “Sorry about Spence, Jimmy. You have met Tony right?” Gibbs nodded towards Tony who was standing to his right.

“Of course!” James said putting his hand out to greet Tony. Tony shook hands with James hoping things may turn out okay after all. Tony was trying to think of something to say when James said:

“Who is this?” he said staring at Abby. His interest in her was obvious.

“Abby Scuito, James Spencer” Gibbs said introducing the two “James is Spence’s younger brother.”

Abby grasped James hand and smiled.

“I see the resemblance. Sorry about Spence, James.”

“Thank you, Abby. Call me Jimmy, please.” He said opening the door wider so the three of them could enter the house.

They entered a large black and white tiled foyer that had a staircase to the left that curved up towards the second floor. A round marble table was off to the right. There were several bouquets and flower arrangements sitting on the table. Tony noted the sentiments of sympathy had begun to flow for the family. He couldn’t help but feel a bit left out.

James guided them through the foyer, past a large separate dining room into the great room in the back. Gibbs noted the house had been remodeled. Where there had been a separate sitting room and a separate kitchen, walls had been knocked down opening up the space giving it a more modern, inviting atmosphere.

The television was on and there were two young men sitting on the couch, eating bowls of cereal while watching some kind of animated show.

When James said “Jake, Sam” the boys heads turned towards them.

Gibbs was Godfather to Jacob and Samuel Spencer but he had not seen them since they were little boys. They were in their twenties now. Tony and Abby had never met them.

Turning towards Abby, James introduced them.

“Abby, these are my nephews, Jake and Sam. Riley’s kids.”

Abby waved and said “Hello.”

“Hi, hello” they responded without much enthusiasm.

Gibbs could tell James was angry with the boys as he said “You remember, Gibbs? YOUR Godfather?”

The boys looked at each other and then at Gibbs. Gibbs felt bad for them so he said:

“I haven’t seen you boys in years.”

An uncomfortable silence settled around them.

“And this is Tony.” James stated.

That got their attention. Setting their bowls on the coffee table in front of them, they stood, united.

“Dad’s Tony?” Sam asked curiously.

Tony hesitated for only a second and then said with conviction “Yes.”

Jake Spencer looked like he was about to blow his top. Tony realized Spence's eldest son neither favored him in looks or disposition. He was definitely his Mother’s son.

“You have some fucking nerve coming here!” Jake said with fists clenched.

“HEY!” James yelled “Show some respect!”

“FUCK THAT!” Jake said as he stormed towards the back door. His brother Sam obediently following.

Tony could see the brothers were furious simply through their body language. He had a clear view of them through the large bay window that looked out from the great room into the back yard. He could see they were engaged in a heated conversation out near the swimming pool. They were yelling back and forth and then looking back at the house. Tony felt sick. He didn’t blame the kids. They had probably been conditioned by their mother to hate. Tony felt for them. Spence’s sons had missed out getting to really know their dad and now it was too late.

“Sorry about that Tony.” James said with sincerity.

He then added sarcastically “Their Mother has done a bang up job in raising those two.”

Gibbs could see the hurt in Tony’s eyes but Gibbs found a possible ally in James so he said “We came here to talk to Linda, Jimmy. We wanted to know why she didn’t confer with Tony regarding Spence’s last wishes and…”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence when a cold voice was heard behind them.

“That’s because it is none of Tony’s fucking business!”

They turned towards the foyer and noticed Linda standing there, her sons flanked in position behind her.

She looked like she had been working out in the garden. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and the knees of her Capri pants were dirty. She had smudges on her face and she held gloves in one hand and a pair of gardening shears in the other.

Gibbs noticed time had not been kind to Linda. The phrase “ridden hard and put away wet” came to mind.

“What are you doing here?” Linda asked glancing between Tony and Gibbs “You have no right or no business interrupting a family’s time of grief.”

Abby couldn’t contain herself.

“You fucking cold-hearted bitch.” She said with a deadly calm.

'SHIT!' Tony thought

Tony appreciated Abby defending him but he knew she had just lit a very short fuse and that fuse was burning quickly towards a powder keg.

Tony took the initiative and stepped forward. He tried to retain his dignity and appear not to grovel as he said:

“Linda, I think Spence would like to be buried with his Mom and his Grandmother. I don’t object to that. I would just like to be able to attend his funeral and maybe visit his grave, bring him flowers, pay my respects…”

Linda’s smile was cold. She set down her gloves and the pruning shears as she looked at Abby. She completely ignored Tony and what he had just said.

“A cold-hearted bitch? Is that what you said?”

“Uh, yeah,” Abby added dripping with sarcasm “Are you a hard of hearing bitch as well?”

Gibbs watched as Tony closed his eyes and lowered his head. James Spencer snorted in laughter at Abby’s comment. Linda was about to explode as Gibbs tried desperately to defuse the situation.

Gibbs turned to Abby and said “ENOUGH! You are not helping this situation Abs!”

Abby frowned at Gibbs but kept quiet.

Gibbs turned to James and said “Jimmy would you give Abby a tour of your estate? She is very interested in the royal family connection.”

James Spencer was sad to miss the fireworks about to go off but he understood what Gibbs was trying to do. He offered Abby his arm. She hooked her arm with his and he guided her towards the back door. They could hear him saying “This house was built in 1740….” just before the door closed and Abby looked back at Linda and gave her a death glare.

“Can we talk, alone?” Gibbs said to Linda.

Linda nodded in agreement towards Gibbs and then turned to her sons and dismissed them. They reluctantly went up the stairs to the second floor. If looks could kill, the looks they gave Tony would have him dead and rotting in the ground.

“Why don’t we take a seat?” Gibbs proposed.

The three of them moved to sit at the kitchen table. Not looking at Tony, Linda said “I will talk to YOU ALONE, Gibbs.”

Tony had just begun to pull a chair out when her words crashed over him. He realized she would not be acknowledging him anytime soon so looking at Gibbs he said quietly. “I’ll be outside.”

Tony noticed Gibbs eyes held deep regret for him. He also knew that if anyone could salvage this situation it would be Gibbs. He resigned his position to that of outcast and walked out the front door.

He could see Abby and James walking off to the right of the property. Tony thought that was where the stables were. He remembered the cemetery was to the left. He decided to head that way and see Spence’s final resting place. He knew it may be the only time he would get too.

He walked the quarter mile towards the cemetery. There was an old growth of trees in this area of the Spencer land. Beyond them was nestled a peaceful old family cemetery with a large mausoleum and several graves scattered around. Tony saw the hearse had parked near the mausoleum. He could just make out Spence’s Brother, William, directing a couple of men as they removed the casket and carried it towards the open door of the mausoleum.

William and the two men disappeared into the marble building. William came back into view and Tony saw him get into a vehicle and drive away. William was heading in the opposite direction further behind the estate. Tony couldn’t believe his eyes. Were strangers just going to place Spence in the crypt without a proper send off? How could they do that? He started running towards the mausoleum, all rational thought escaping him.

He needed to get to Spence to make sure he wasn’t alone. He fought to bring air into his lungs as sobs of grief tried to take over. He had just made it to the entrance of the mausoleum when he thought he heard Abby call his name. Ignoring her he stepped into the marble building.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abby and James were just heading towards the cemetery, walking on the road behind the estate, when a vehicle passed them. James waved as his brother William drove by. William ignored them both.

“My brother, William.” James informed Abby with a heavy sigh.

“Not close, huh?” Abby observed

“Nope. I’m only here because of Spence. I live in New York City. Came in on the red eye early this morning. Jake and Sam picked me up. They are good kids when their mom isn’t around. Linda has fucked them up. I hate this place Abby. Spence and I shared that in common.”

Abby could tell James Spencer was hurting but Tony was her priority.

“Linda has hurt Tony deeply, Jimmy. I should have kept my mouth shut but Tony won’t defend himself the way he should when it comes to her. He respects Spence’s kids so he feels he must respect their mother. I would like to slap that smug cold smile right off her face!”

Jimmy laughed loudly at that remark.

“You know, Abby, I’d pay good money to see you do that!”

They were sharing a laugh when Abby noticed Tony running towards the mausoleum in the cemetery.

She instantly panicked and called out to him “TONY!”

He disappeared into the crypt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carl Dixon and Matt Carver had been employed by the Spencer family for just over a year. The two men had both served time in prison for a variety of petty offenses. They had tried to stay on the right side of the law by legally selling their “services”. These services encompassed the maintenance and care taking of the grounds, the stables and the cemetery. The two friends lived on property and were invaluable to William Spencer when he needed a bodyguard or some intimidating thugs to seal a business deal.

Their job today was distasteful to them but they were getting paid a bonus. They were joking around and laughing so they didn’t notice when Tony entered the building. Tony watched them from the shadows. Tony could tell the men were freaked out a bit working in a crypt and handling a casket. He got it. He knew his comments at the most hideous of crime scenes could be insensitive and inappropriate. Gallows humor is what got him and the team through a lot of the gruesome shit they saw, sometimes on a daily basis.

This was different to Tony. This was his family, his Spence, and nobody was going to disrespect Spence if he had a say in it.

Tony assessed the men were in their forties and they had that hard “inmate” look he had seen in so many ex-cons. Both men were well over 6 feet tall and had a prison yard physique. Tony waited and observed.

He could see a space had been opened in the wall of the mausoleum. Tony cringed inwardly thinking about Spence’s body being shoved into that open space to be sealed up in darkness for eternity. He knew his thoughts weren’t rational but he couldn’t bring himself to really care.

“This place really creeps me out, Dix!”

“I hear ya, Matt. Especially all these old corpses just inches behind these walls.” The man named Dix said, visibly shuddering.

“Don’t you think it’s kinda weird they are just putting this guy in the wall without a funeral?” Matt asked

“I heard the guy was a cop killed in that shootout yesterday.”

Matt laughed and said “One for our side!”

Tony winced as the two men enjoyed their laugh and a high five.

“His ex, that bitchy broad out in the garden this morning, I heard her talking on the phone with some lawyer. Way she talked she is on the warpath. I heard this guy was a fucking queer!”

“No Shit!”

“And a fucking ex-Marine!”

“No way!”

“There are NO EX MARINES!” Tony said stepping fully into the room.

The two men looked shocked but quickly recovered.

“Who the fuck are you?” Dix sneered crossing his arms.

“What did you mean when you said there wasn’t going to be a funeral?” Tony asked, the coldness in his voice seemed to lower the temperature in the room.

Dixon paused for a moment. He wondered who the hell this guy was. He seemed authoritative so he didn’t want to screw up the cush job he and Matt had.

“Our job is to just put him in and seal him up. His old lady said the cops will give him a wake or something.”

“So that’s it?” Tony asked “You just shove him in, seal him up and walk away?”

Dixon shrugged and said “Pretty much.”

Realizing he may be dealing with one of William Spencer’s Family, Dixon pointed at the casket and said “You one of his brothers?”

Tony thought about how he should answer that question.

“I’m his lover.” Tony stated as a matter of fact his eyes narrowing in anger.

Dixon’s eyes got wide and he looked at Matt and said “His lover!?”

Matt Carver’s eyes mirrored his friends. He laughed nervously knowing Carl Dixon could be a very cruel man. It didn’t surprise him when Dixon opened his mouth and said:

“Well lover boy, you here for one last fuck before we toss this maggot meal into permanent storage?”

Tony heard a gasp behind him but it didn’t really register in his mind.

He had heard of the term “seeing red” but had never had an experience that would give him a reference point to that level of anger.

He had it now. Tony felt rage explode throughout his body. He had no other thoughts then to damage the man in front of him.

He could see Dixon’s twisted grin fade as Tony stepped forward and clobbered him. Dixon staggered back but righted himself before he went down.

“You are gonna pay for that boy!” Dixon said venomously as he threw himself towards Tony. Tony side stepped in time, tripping Dixon as his body moved past. Dixon hit the ground, his face breaking his fall.

Tony let out a cruel laugh. He was now aware of Abby and James Spencer just staring at him, their mouths agape in surprise.

Tony heard Abby say helplessly “Tony?!”

He didn’t answer. He watched as blood poured from Dixon’s nose as he goaded the man to get up and fight.

As Dixon struggled to his feet Abby pulled her cell phone from her pocket. Trying not to panic she dialed Gibbs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had watched as Tony headed outside so Gibbs could talk to Linda alone. Linda’s smug expression and Tony’s devastated look had Gibbs so angry he had a hard time masking it. He had to though. Linda held all the cards and Gibbs would do his best to bring peace to the situation.

“I know you are angry things didn’t work out between you and Spence but is it really necessary to take it out on Tony? You have been divorced for over 3 years, Linda.”

Linda ignored Gibbs question and instead said. “You remember where you were on July 4, 1982?”

Gibbs sighed but knew he had to play along.

“Of course, it was the day you and Spence tied the knot.”

“Exactly. When I said “I do” I meant that for life Gibbs. Of course a man who goes through marriages like underwear would not understand such things.”

The smile she gave him let him know she was enjoying every bit of the power she held.

He restrained himself thinking only of Tony and his need for this to work out.

“You got me there.” He said uncharacteristically.

“Really? That seems to almost be an apology Gibbs?” she twisted the emotional knife.

“Is that what you want Linda? You want me to apologize? If I do will that make it okay for Tony to be at Spence’s funeral and be able to visit his grave every now and then?”

She sat back in her chair and not breaking eye contact said “There is not going to be a funeral.”

“What!? Why?” he asked, floored by her revelation.

She shrugged saying “Spence is being interned into the crypt right now. The police will be honoring him with a ceremony sometime in the near future. Tony can say his goodbyes then.”

Gibbs shook his head not sure he had heard her correctly.

“Wait a minute! Spence is being buried right now? Why isn’t the family there to witness it...or friends?”

“I have the legal documents trusting me to act on Spence’s behalf. This was my choice as Spence’s wife to bury him as I deemed appropriate. He is home, on his family’s land with his FAMILY! Now if Spence had other wishes that he put in writing, documents that I am unaware of, then Tony only has to produce them. Spence is being placed in the mausoleum and it would be very easy to move him if a court of law requires it.”

Gibbs was not sure how to react. Her explanation went against everything Gibbs believed in. Spence was a decorated Marine and Police Officer. He could have had full military honors and been buried at Arlington. He should have had some type of sendoff, with his body present that honored his service to Country and to the District of Columbia.

Gibbs was speechless.

Linda stood up and walked to the fridge.

“Would you like something to drink, Jethro?”

He wanted a glass of bourbon but said “No.”

William Spencer entered the house at that moment. He walked up behind Linda and gave her a kiss on top of her head. Gibbs noticed his hands moved lightly down her body before she turned into his embrace saying “We have company William.”

“Yeah, I know, I saw James walking with that weird looking girl behind the house.”

She smiled up at him and then tilted her head over to the kitchen table. William turned and realized they were not alone.

“Gibbs!” he declared trying to recover

“Hello, William” Gibbs responded automatically as William Spencer looked at his watch.

Gibbs predicted what William would say next.

“Well, I best be going, I have a business meeting in a few minutes.” he nodded towards Gibbs and left.

Linda carried her iced tea back to the table and sat down.

“You and William?” he asked

She shrugged “None of your business.”

Gibbs had had it with the games.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Linda?! When did you become such a vindictive, petty person? You know, Tony made Spence very happy. They were in love Linda and I MEAN REAL LOVE! Oh, you may think I wouldn’t know love if it jumped up and bit me but I did. I loved Shannon and we would still be together if she had not been murdered! You and Spence had some good years and you had two kids together. If you ever truly loved Spence quit blaming him, and quit blaming Tony and move on!”

Suddenly, Linda threw her glass of tea against the wall. She leaned over, jammed her index finger into Gibbs chest, and getting into his face screamed:

“I DON’T BLAME SPENCE! I BLAME YOU!!!! YOU INTRODUCED THEM JETHRO! SPENCE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT! YOU RUINED MY CHANCES OF RECONCILIATION! SO, FUCK YOU! AND FUCK TONY!! I HOPE WHAT YOU HAVE SAID IS TRUE! I HOPE TONY LOVES SPENCE WITH EVERY ONCE OF HIS BEING AND THAT IT KILLS HIM A LITTLE INSIDE EVERY DAY HAVING TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!”

Gibbs stood and headed for the front door. He walked out into the sunshine in a daze. He had blown it. He had let Tony down. How would he explain what he had just heard? No funeral for Spence? How would Tony even handle that?

Linda had caught him off guard with her accusations that he was to blame. The woman was psychotic! He glanced around looking for any sign of Tony or Abby. He had just opened the door to the Challenger when his phone rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really proud of this chapter. Just thought I'd share that fact.


	14. Chapter 14

Seeing the call was from Abby, he answered saying “Hey Abs, where are you?”

“GIBBS!” Abby sounded like she was in an echo chamber “Tony is losing it! We need you at the mausoleum!”

Gibbs was behind the wheel of his car in seconds. Firing up the engine he said “Losing it? How is he losing it Abs?” He could hear what sounded like scuffling and Jimmy Spencer scream “MATT DROP THAT CROWBAR!”

Abby moved the phone from her mouth so she wouldn’t scream in Gibbs ear.

“HE IS A FEDERAL AGENT!” she yelled

“SHIT! I’m on my way Abby!” Gibbs snapped his phone shut as he sped down the road towards the cemetery. His mind was racing. He wondered what kind of trouble Tony had gotten into now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“GET UP ASSHOLE!” Tony screamed at Carl Dixon as he sidestepped the older man’s onslaught. Tony had landed a punch to Dixon’s side before he went down again. Dixon sat panting on the floor of the mausoleum, his face bloody but his eyes determined to end Tony.

Things had escalated so quickly the three other people in the room with Tony and Dixon had frozen in place, shocked at what they were seeing. Dixon could see the girl was on her phone but he ignored her. He looked to his partner Matt and with a nod of his head Matt Carver moved into action. Carver picked up the crowbar they had used to open the crypt and swinging it like a bat brought it full force against Tony’s back.

“MATT DROP THAT CROWBAR!” James Spencer yelled

The realization of what Carver was about to do compelled him to act. It was too late. Carver hit Tony as hard as he could. Tony’s body sailed forward as Spencer grabbed Carver pulling him away so he couldn’t take another swing.

The look of surprise on Tony’s face delighted Carl Dixon. Dixon moved to the left as Tony crashed down to the floor on Dixon’s right. Dixon took advantage Tony was down and winded. Turning Tony over onto his back, Dixon sat down heavily on Tony’s chest pinning his arms to his sides. He leered at Tony as Tony struggled to simply breathe.

Dixon heard the girl scream “HE IS A FEDERAL AGENT!” Dixon didn’t give a shit if the kid was the fucking President of the United States. He wrapped his hands around Tony’s neck and began to squeeze. He pulled Tony up and slammed his head down against the hard marble floor. Dixon repeated the action. He heard the girl screaming for him to stop and then he felt her lithe body fighting him from behind. It didn’t stop him. He slammed Tony against the floor for a third time watching Tony’s eyes flutter in pain as he tried to cling to consciousness.

Dixon leaned down and whispered in Tony’s ear.

“Well lover boy, how about I reunite you with your boyfriend? There is plenty of room for the two of you in that hole!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was out of his car in a flash and in the mausoleum in seconds.

The scene before him was chaos.

James Spencer was struggling with a man wielding a crowbar. Abby was trying to pull a man off of Tony. She had her arms around the man’s neck applying all the strength she had but it was to no avail. The man had Tony pinned to the floor and he was strangling him. From where Gibbs was standing Tony looked dead. That fear moved him forward. He pulled Abby up and to the side as he yelled:

“Back off, Abs! I got this.”

Gibbs did not catch Abby’s look of relief that the cavalry had arrived.

Gibbs grabbed Dixon from behind in a choke hold. He pulled the man up and flung him to the side like he was a rag doll. If Tony had been conscious he would have enjoyed Dixon’s look of surprise. Gibbs forced Dixon into a seated position against the crypt wall. Gibbs hand was around Dixon’s throat and he squeezed. Looking Dixon in the eyes he hissed “That Federal Agent better be alright!”

Dixon finally seemed to comprehend the trouble surrounding him. He had never killed anyone before but looking at Tony he realized that is what he may have just done. Gibbs released Dixon so he could check on Tony. As Gibbs checked Tony for signs of life, Dixon scrambled to explain:

“He…he started it! We were just doing our job!” Dixon looked around frantically seeking support from the others that had been witness.

“He hit you because of the horrible thing you said!” Abby said coming to Tony’s defense.

Gibbs was not interested in what had transpired. He had his fingers at Tony’s throat at his pulse point. Gibbs was relieved to feel a steady beat. Tony’s breathing was steady but shallow. Gibbs ran his hand under Tony’s head searching for injury. He found a goose egg sized lump on the back of Tony’s head. The lump felt damp. Gibbs pulled his hand away and looking down he found traces of blood.

Frowning, Gibbs opened Tony’s eyes to check his pupils. They reacted to the light. Gibbs felt relief wash over him. Tony was severely injured but it appeared at the moment he was just unconscious. Gibbs was concerned about the lump on his head. He needed to get Tony to a hospital.

Gibbs stood and helped Abby up off the floor. Gibbs looked at James and asked “How close is the nearest hospital?”

“Next town over there is a small medical clinic. Closest hospital is Bethesda.”

It would take too long for an ambulance to get to them and then get back to Bethesda.

Matt Carver stepped over to Dixon and helped him off the floor. The two men looked worried.

Gibbs gave them a disgusted look. He could see the worry in their eyes and thought they were worried for themselves not that they may have killed Tony.

Gibbs was trying to decide the best course of action when Tony groaned.

He kneeled down and said “You with me, DiNozzo?”

Tony opened his eyes slowly, grimaced with the pain and promptly shut them.

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus Boss.” He said through gritted teeth.

“Do you think you can stand?” Gibbs asked

“I’ll try. May need some help.”

Gibbs leaned down and pulled Tony into a sitting position.

Tony moaned again and holding his head in his hands said “Give me a sec.”

Carver and Dixon looked at James Spencer and said “Can we leave?”

James looked at Gibbs who shook his head in the affirmative.

“Go ahead. Matt, drive Carl over to the med clinic. I’ll let William know where you are.”

The men moved quickly to make their escape.

After a few minutes Tony said “I think I’m ready.”

James moved next to Tony across from Gibbs. Together they hauled Tony to his feet.

He swayed a bit so Gibbs and James held on to him.

“I’m good.” Tony stated still keeping his eyes closed. Abby stepped up and put her arm around Tony, comforting him. While she attended him Gibbs stepped away and signaled for James to join him.

Gibbs looked around the mausoleum then looking at James asked:

“Did you know they were interning Spence without any ceremony?”

James looked genuinely surprised at that statement.

“No, I was under the impression Spence would lay in state in the building closet to the cemetery while Linda decided what kind of service to have. You mean to tell me William’s two goons were just going to stick him in here and close him up?”

“It appears that way. Linda told me there would not be a funeral. She expects the police department to honor your brother in the weeks to come.”

“I don’t understand her!” James replied with disgust.

Gibbs pulled out his wallet and handed James his card.

“Jimmy, will you call me if anything changes regarding Spence? I appreciate you were hospitable to Tony. He loved your brother very much.”

James choked up a bit at that. “I know Spence loved Tony, too. Spence and I are the black sheep of our family, Gibbs. We stayed in touch and shared each other’s lives but neither of us was close to William or John Jr. Spence and I didn’t see each other much and I’ll always regret that now. I want to make sure Linda does right by Spence’s kids but other than that I don’t care if I ever come back here.”

Gibbs nodded his understanding.

Abby had started to help Tony to exit the mausoleum when Tony stopped abruptly and said “Spence! We can’t leave Spence, Abs! They were trying to just shove him in a hole and seal him in! Just Spence and two strangers! I can’t leave him alone Abby!”

Tony pulled out of her grasp and the quick turn back towards Spence’s casket had the room spinning around him. He swayed and as he began to fall Gibbs caught him.

“Thanks Boss” Tony whispered “Can you ask the room to quit spinning?”

Gibbs didn’t have a chance to reply when Tony passed out. James helped Gibbs carry Tony out to Gibbs car. Gibbs was thankful Jimmy was there. He didn’t think he could have handled Tony’s dead weight by himself.

They placed Tony gingerly in the front seat and as Gibbs secured Tony with the seat belt Abby gave Jimmy a big hug.

“Thanks for defending Tony, Jimmy! I hope I get to see you again.”

“I would like to see you too Abby. Take good care of yourself and Tony.”

Abby pulled back and opening her purse pulled out a business card and handed it to him.

Jimmy’s eyes got wide when he saw she was the Forensics Specialist for NCIS. She kissed his cheek before entering the backseat behind the driver’s side.

Gibbs shook Jimmy’s hand and got behind the wheel.

The Challenger was out of site in minutes.


	15. Chapter 15

Gibbs sped down the highway as fast and as safe as he could. They were about an hour out from Bethesda. He would do his best to get there before 60 minutes passed.

He looked over at Tony every few minutes to make sure he was breathing comfortably. Tony’s chin rested on his chest. He was out cold but his breathing was not labored. It was a small comfort but Gibbs held on to it.

He glanced in the rear view mirror to check on Abby. She was paler then usual and the sadness in her beautiful eyes was hard to see. She had been looking out the window but turned and met his gaze in the mirror.

“Tell me what happened, Abs.” Gibbs asked

Abby took a deep breath and said “We saw Tony running towards the mausoleum. I called to him and I thought he heard me but he didn’t stop.”

She thought for a moment and asked “Why was he alone out there anyway? Where were you and where was the witch?”

Gibbs ignored the witch comment but said “Linda wanted to talk to me alone. Tony went to wait outside. Guess he wanted to check out the cemetery.”

“She chose to talk to you and ignored him yet again?! GOD, what is her fricking problem? Does she not understand Tony has lost the equivalent of a spouse? “she choked back tears and said “She hates him that much?”

Gibbs didn’t want to discuss what he and Linda talked about so he steered Abby back to the original question:

“What happened when you got to the mausoleum?”

She wiped her eyes and looking thoughtful said:

“Right, Jimmy and I entered and heard Tony yell “There are no ex marines.”

Gibbs smiled at that, glancing at Tony. Gibbs wondered what transpired that made Tony say that. Gibbs knew Tony was quoting him. He was proud of Tony for defending Spence.

“Then we heard one of the men say “Who the Fuck are you?” and Tony asked what they meant when they said there wasn’t going to be a funeral. Is that true Gibbs? There isn’t going to be a funeral?” Abby looked appalled.

Gibbs shook his head and said “Linda has decided to just bury Spence. She said the Police will have a service for him.”

He could see Abby’s rage building so he said:

“Then what, Abs?”

“Hmmm….Tony asked if they were just going to shove Spence into the hole in the wall. The man you pulled off Tony asked if Tony was one of Spence’s brothers. Tony responded with “I’m his lover!” God, Gibbs, I was so proud of Tony but then the guy said the cruelest thing!”

She hesitated and Gibbs could see she was blushing so he looked away as she continued:

“He said "Well lover boy, you here for one last fuck before we toss this maggot meal into permanent storage?"

Gibbs head shot up to meet her eyes. He was livid.

“Tony went ballistic and punched the bastard.”

'Good' Gibbs thought.

He looked over at Tony and saw blood was trickling from his nose.

“Abby! See if you can wake Tony! He has a nose bleed. He might have a concussion.”

Abby leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Tony and shook him lightly. She spoke into his ear “Tony? TONY! Wake up Tony!”

Tony didn’t move. Abby pulled a tissue from her purse and leaning over wiped the blood from Tony’s nose. She placed her hand on his forehead and cried:

“Gibbs! He is really cold and clammy!”

“DINOZZO!” Gibbs yelled.

Abby was startled but Tony remained still.

Gibbs and Abby shared a look of fear.

“Hang on Abby!” he advised, as she sat back, he accelerated.

Gunning the Challenger to over 100 miles an hour he prayed he would reach the hospital in time. He couldn’t even fathom losing Tony, not now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs pulled the Challenger up to the Bethesda Emergency entrance and jumped out of the car running to the passenger’s side. Abby leapt from the back seat and ran into the emergency seeking help. As Gibbs unbuckled Tony from the front seat two hospital personnel, accompanied by Abby, wheeled a gurney up to the car.

Gibbs helped the two men lift Tony and place him on the gurney.

As they wheeled him into emergency the EMT’s asked Gibbs a series of questions.

Gibbs ran down the chain of events and advised them Tony had been unconscious for almost an hour.

Gibbs and Abby were left in the waiting room as they took Tony to the triage unit. The intake nurse came into the waiting room and asked for Riley Spencer. Gibbs gut clenched at that. He had been Tony’s medical proxy but Tony must have changed to Spence within the last 6 months. Gibbs was relieved when the nurse found he had been listed as second proxy if Spence was unavailable. He spent about 30 minutes filing the paperwork on Tony’s behalf.

Ninety minutes later, Dr. Travis Jessup found them and advised they had moved Tony to a separate room.

“Can we see him Doc?” Gibbs asked

“Yes, but he may be unconscious. He does have a concussion but we were able to wake him and we were able to test his motor skills. Everything seems to be fine. The x-rays did not reveal anything life threatening. That lump on the back of his head is very swollen but we were able to alleviate the pressure. No more nosebleed but he has a hell of a headache. We couldn’t give him sedatives or strong pain medication for obvious reasons. We have staff waking him every two hours. The bruising on his back is intense but no broken ribs. We want to keep him overnight for observation. I request you only spend about fifteen minutes with him. He is in room 204.”

“Thank You.” Abby said as Gibbs shook the Doctor’s hand.

Gibbs and Abby were pleased to find Tony awake.

Tony smiled as they entered the room but he soon grimaced and closed his eyes.

Even smiling was painful.

“Hey, Tony!” Abby greeted him with a soft hug “How are you feeling?”

“Like crap.”

Gibbs was surprised by Tony’s answer. By this time he would be saying he was fine and chomping at the bit to go home.

“You look like crap too, DiNozzo.”

He opened one eye looking at Gibbs, somewhat annoyed.

“Love you too, Boss.”

Gibbs smirked at that. He felt relief wash over him. Tony should be fine, physically at least.

Gibbs and Abby pulled up some chairs and Abby held onto Tony’s hand. They sat in comfortable silence then Tony asked Gibbs “So Linda tell you she was not having a funeral for Spence?”

Tony saw the sad look in Gibbs face and knew right then he would not like Gibbs response.

“She is counting on the police department to give his service. She chose to bring Spence home and intern him with his family.” Gibbs had wanted to be truthful but to also cushion the blow.

Tony looked anguished as he said quietly “I have no say in any of this, not legally, and obviously Linda has absolutely no regard for me or my feelings. Obviously Spence doesn’t rate with any of his damn family. They couldn’t even be present when he was laid to rest!”

“Jimmy didn’t know, Tony.” Abby said, defending James Spencer.

“That’s true, Tony.” Gibbs confirmed “He was stunned at Linda’s actions as well.”

Tony seemed inconsolable even with this additional information so Gibbs added:

“She said if you have anything in writing that could prove your legal rights she would abide by that.”

Tony frowned as he looked at Gibbs. He knew his boss was trying to be kind but Tony was pissed and he took it out on Gibbs as he said coldly “Well, we both know I don’t have shit to show her. Did you tell her that?”

“Tony!?” Abby said surprised

Both Gibbs and Abby were shocked at Tony’s anger. Gibbs tried not to take it personally when he responded:

“No Tony. I did not tell her that.”

“So what did the two of your talk about?” he said accusingly

Gibbs frowned and his brows furrowed, his own anger beginning to build.

“Well, I tried to get her to consider your feelings, DiNozzo!” Gibbs said harshly

Tony turned away from Abby and Gibbs, closing his eyes. He felt ashamed at his reaction. He was mad at Linda, not the two people who had his back since he learned of Spence’s death.

“I’m sorry” he whispered “I have no right being angry at either of you. Thank you both for being there for me and for Spence. Thanks boss for taking on Linda for me, and thank you Abs for trying to stop that asshole from strangling me.”

He turned towards Gibbs and Abby and could see their reactions to his outburst had softened. Tony could tell they were concerned for him. He sighed and said “Dr. Jessup says he is keeping me overnight for observation. You two should head home and get some rest. Thank you both again for your help today.”

Tony gave them a weary smile, relaxed back into the bed and shut his eyes.

Gibbs and Abby looked at each other with a stunned expression. Tony always fought a stay in the hospital. He never, ever accepted what he had been medically advised without a pout or a display of annoyance. He was always “fine” and ready to bolt from the confines of a hospital room.

“We can stay with you Tony.” Abby offered.

“Yeah, DiNozzo” Gibbs added lightly “This isn’t like you at all to just accept a stay overnight for observation.”

Gibbs hoped Tony would find some humor in that statement but Tony turned on his side, away from them facing the opposite wall. His hospital gown was loosely tied at his back and the bruising from the crowbar was ugly.

Abby reached out her hand to touch Tony but Gibbs stopped her, grabbing her wrist. She looked at him and tears filled her eyes. Gibbs just shook his head saying “We’ll be back tomorrow to get you then, DiNozzo.”

“No need boss. I can handle it from here. Thanks again for everything. I’ll see you both in a week or so.”

“Tony! A week or so? You don’t mean that…you can’t mean…”

“Please Abby; I need some time to think. I just want to be alone for a while.” He said his voice breaking slightly.

“Tony…” Gibbs started but Tony cut him off.

“Please, boss” he pleaded “I’m so tired….please, just let me be for a while.”

Before Gibbs could answer, a nurse walked in and said too cheerfully “Fifteen minutes are up.”

Tony breathed out a silent “thanks” for her perfect timing.

“Okay Tony” Gibbs said hesitantly “Call us if you need us.”

Tony feigned sleep, his eyes tightly shut. He fought the tears beginning to form as he heard Abby and Gibbs say goodnight and leave the room. He knew he had treated them poorly. They deserved better. He would distance himself to give them a break.

When the nurse was done taking his vitals and left him to rest he opened his eyes and rolled onto his back. His whole body hurt but it didn’t come close to how he was hurting inside. He reached for the bedside table and rummaged around until he found his cell phone.

He scrolled his contacts and when he found the person he wanted, he hit call.

Steve Adler answered with a concerned “Tony? Are you okay?”

“Hey Steve, I’m okay” He lied “You still have your license to practice law in the district?”

“I still maintain my license there. You need an attorney?” Steve joked

“I do, bro, but this may be a wild goose chase. I don’t really think I have a legal leg to stand on. I would like to take you up on the offer of coming here. I can give you my credit card number so you can book your flight. I don’t think I will be able to pick you up at the airport but I’ll pay for the cab fare. Can you meet me at my house when you get here?”

“Of course I’ll come, Tony! I’ll be there ASAP. As for the ticket and the cab fare…please! I still owe you a small fortune in beer money!”

Steve said he’d call Tony back in the morning when he arrived. They said good night and Tony lay in his hospital bed thinking. Somewhere here in the hospital Joe Alvarez was being protected. Tony wondered how Joe was doing. He decided then and there he would find out. He rang for the night nurse. She was quite upset when she found him fully dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Mr. DiNozzo! What are you doing? Where are you going? You need to rest sir…your concussion…”

Tony waved his hand and said “I’m fine. I need the paper work to check myself out. I then need to know what floor I can find Joseph Alvarez.”

“It is getting late Mr. DiNozzo….I will need to check with your Doctor…”

Tony glanced at her name tag and said “Nurse Amy….I am leaving in 10 minutes with or without the paperwork. I will find Joe on my own if I have too. I would appreciate your assistance but if you choose to refuse...well…”

He stopped mid-sentence when he saw her scowl and placing her hands on her hips she said “Fine! But wait here a minute.”

She was back in less than five minutes. She had brought him a wheelchair.

“Get in. I will take you to Mr. Alvarez. I’ll get the paperwork but I think Dr. Jessup will be talking to you before you leave.”

Tony rewarded her with a mega smile. She did not return his peace offering. She wheeled him to the elevator and they rode to the 7th floor. Tony could see uniformed officers sitting outside room 705. He knew one of the officers.

Mark Jensen’s eyes widened as he recognized Tony. He stood up and walked towards them.

“Jeez Tony…what the hell happened to you? You look like…”

“Crap? Yes, I have been told.” Tony laughed

“How’s Joe doing, Mark?” he asked with a serious tone.

“It is pretty bad, Tony. Docs think he will pull through but he may never be a beat cop again.”

Tony’s face fell at that statement. Joe and Spence had been partners for years. Tony use to joke with Spence that if he knew Joe was gay he would be worried. Spence and Joe were just like Tony and Gibbs. In total sync with each other, no words needed. Like two halves working as one whole. Tony was well aware Joe was lost without Spence. He also knew Joe would be lost working behind a desk. Joe and Spence loved the street action. They were adrenaline junkies. Tony hoped Joe didn’t lose the career he loved along with the partner he loved as well.

Mark Jensen wheeled Tony into Joe’s room. He set the brakes on the wheelchair and before leaving Tony to sit with Joe, he said quietly “Sorry about Spence, Tony. You know the bastard that took him out was killed today, here at the hospital.”

“I heard” Tony said “and thanks Mark. I was hoping to talk to Joe about Spence. I will just sit with him for a while.”

Tony sat and watched Joe breath. Joe was pale and his breathing was labored. He looked so vulnerable.

Tony was about to leave when Joe opened his eyes. They were clouded with pain but as they began to clear, Joe said “Tony? Is that you?”

Tony leaned forward and grasped Joe’s hand.

“Yeah, it’s me Joe. How are you feeling?”

“Like some bastard shot me in the back!”

Tony chuckled and said “Well, yeah, I guess that is a very accurate statement.”

Tony watched Joe tear up and he said “I don’t think I want to do this job anymore. Not without Spence.”

Tony understood that. He could not think of staying at NCIS if anything happened to Gibbs. It just would not be the same. Tony squeezed Joe’s hand and said “Worry about getting back on your feet, Joe. If you need anything I am here for you.”

“When are you burying Spence, Tony? I want to be there.”

Tony looked down and debated if he should tell Joe that Spence had by now already been interned.

He decided he would be honest, he told Joe what had transpired that afternoon.

Joe winced and struggled to catch his breath. The machines he was attached to began to beep and Tony worried he had been wrong to tell him.

“God, Joe! I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

A nurse came in and adjusted a few things and added something to Joe’s IV. It only took seconds for Joe to relax and the beeps to cease. Joe’s eyes began to glaze over and Tony said “Rest Joe. I’ll come see you again soon, okay? Just get well!”

Joe shook his head in the affirmative as his eyes closed and he was fast asleep.

Tony wheeled out of Joe’s room and found the night nurse with his AMA paperwork. He signed them and she said “I’ll be right back with a copy for you.”

“Thank you, Nurse Amy.”

While he waited Mark Jensen said “Tony, take care will ya? Keep your eyes peeled for trouble!”

Tony raised a brow to that and asked “What do you mean Mark?”

“Are you kidding me?” Mark looked pissed but added “No one warned you?”

“Warned me! About what?”

“Los Muertos M C. They have sworn vengeance against Joe and Spence. Joe is still alive but with Spence dead they are threatening to hurt his loved ones.”

Tony was shocked at that.

“Seriously? Where did that information come from?”

“One of Joe and Spence’s C.I.’s. He saw the news of the shootout and did some digging. Seems the leader of Los Muertos is the older brother of the kid that killed Spence. The kid Joe killed was a cousin. Seems those vicious kids were trying to earn their place in the gang”.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Across Town

Hector Zegarra, aka “El Segador” (The Reaper) sat inside Los Muertos clubhouse, in the dark, beside himself in grief. As he drowned himself in alcohol, he wept for those he had lost.

His youngest brother, Jaime, and their cousin, Julio, had been shot down on their first run at membership. The boys had made Hector proud, planning and executing the perfect robbery. Shooting and pistol whipping their way out had not been part of the plan, but it did add to the daring of the duo.

They would have gotten away except for those fucking cerdos (pigs).

Hector had been so proud Jaime had killed the gringo cop but when his men had tried to rescue Jaime, he had been killed while trying to escape. At least they had gotten to Julio’s killer. Hector was pissed that Julio died at the hands of a Latino cop. Hector would make sure Alvarez would suffer. The gringo may be dead but he had loved ones out there somewhere. Hector would find them and he would make them pay.

He had exacted revenge many times.

So many he had lost count.

He was devoted to his family and his gang.

He would seek vengeance and he would not fail.

He had a reputation to uphold.


	16. Chapter 16

Tony looked at his phone to check the time. It was just after 9 pm. He was currently sitting in a wheelchair near the hospital entrance waiting for his cab. Nurse Amy was explaining the circumstances of his foolish choice to leave before talking to Dr. Jessup. He humored her by nodding and saying “Uh huh” when appropriate. He did not mean to be rude it was just he had heard the speech before and really didn’t care. He hated hospitals and he was determined to leave.

When the cab arrived he refused her assistance and climbed into the back seat on his own. He thanked her for the papers and her care and concern. He leaned back, gave the cabbie his address and closed his eyes avoiding the annoyed glare the nurse threw his way.

He had fallen asleep, startled awake when the cabbie informed him they had arrived.

He paid the driver, adding a generous tip. The cabbie asked if he needed help to the door. Tony just waved him away and said “Thanks, I’m fine” as he slightly weaved towards his house. He missed seeing the concerned look on the driver’s face.

Tony shivered at the cold. He did not have a jacket, being dressed only in jeans and a t-shirt. The cold kept him awake so he was happy for it. He unlocked the front door, entered, toed of his sneakers then flipped on a lamp near the couch.

Keeping his eyes down, he focused on getting to the kitchen. He placed his Sig on the piano as he walked past. He did not want to look around. He knew it may sound nuts but the less he saw things that reminded him of Spence the better. He grabbed a beer from the fridge before heading towards the stairs.

He had been advised to not indulge in alcohol but he had had a concussion before and knew his limits. A few beers would not kill him. He had refused the pain med prescription he was offered at the hospital. He didn’t need them. He would have just added them to a medicine cabinet already chock full of bottles of narcotics he had never used.

His memory of Spence bitching at him for the ever growing pharmacy in their bathroom made him smile. In the two years Tony had been with Spence he had been hurt at least 8 times. Spence use to call it “Tony’s quarterly bad luck curse”. Like clockwork, he tended to be hurt every three months. Tony use to counter that claim by saying at least he survived each and every one so he had quarterly good luck as well. That earned him a head slap from Gibbs and Spence had said “If you were a cat, Tony, you’d only have one life left!”

That conversation had been at Bethesda three months ago when Tony had been grazed by a bullet meant for Gibbs. Spence had arrived at the hospital with Joe Alvarez in tow. He remembered the look on Spence’s face-worry that turned to relief, which turned to sarcastic comments about the quarterly curse.

Gibbs took Joe for coffee to give Spence and Tony a few minutes alone. Tony remembered how Spence’s body shook as they held each other. Tony blew it off not wanting to give it much thought. He just held Spence tight and relished the care and love Spence showered on him.

Tony had not thought about how Spence must have felt getting the call from Gibbs telling him Tony had been shot-again. He realized in that moment he did not really think about his mortality. He wondered how many years he had left to live, to live without Spence. He also realized he felt like a selfish, needy jerk.

Shedding his clothes as he walked into the master bedroom, he only spent enough time in there to get a clean pair of sweats and a sweatshirt before heading out towards the guest room bathroom.  


He turned on the water letting it get hot and the room get steamy, as he drank down his bottle of beer.

He tossed the bottle in the trash can under the sink.

The overhead light hurt his eyes so he turned on the nightlight, shut off the overhead and stepped into the shower.

The hot water and steam felt like heaven as it enveloped his aching body. He had caught a glimpse of his back. The bruising was a heinous mosaic of purple, black and blue. The same colors had made their appearance around his neck. He had looked closely at those on a bathroom break at the hospital. He was convinced he could actually make out a hand print.

Tony sighed and tried to clear his mind and think of nothing. That worked for about a minute. He relived everything that had happened over the last day and a half, over and over. He was thankful to know when he talked to Mark Jensen, that the police had had the foresight to contact the Spencer family regarding the threat of Los Muertos. He was a bit miffed and hurt that they had not contacted him. He realized that few knew of his relationship with Spence so he let it go. He would take precautions but didn’t really think those Los Muertos scum bags were much of a threat.

When the water began to cool, Tony turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and dried off. He slipped on his black sweats and red Ohio State sweatshirt and headed downstairs. He was really exhausted but felt too tired to sleep. He grabbed another beer and sat on the couch. He didn’t want to watch anything on TV. He decided he would like a fire so he got up and turned it on. He and Spence had upgraded the fireplace, changing it to gas instead of wood burning.

He turned off the lamp near the couch and watched the flames as he drank his beer.

As the firelight danced around the room, Tony came to understand he would not be living in this house much longer. He felt in his gut that Steve would not be able to find a loophole and he would have to relinquish his home of the last two years. Even if there was a loophole and Tony got the house, he would probably just sell it anyway.

He finally looked at the roses he had tried so hard to ignore. They were breathtaking.

Tony took a swig of beer as his thoughts grew dark.

“What’s the fucking point” he said aloud to no one “They’ll begin to fade, die and then the vase will be empty, like my fucking heart!!”

He shook away the drama and focused on the business at hand.

He had to start again. Spence expected him to. Spence had told him to have a wonderful life.

He would not let Spence down.

He began to take stock of what he would like to keep when he left. Naturally, he would take what he brought. Mainly the piano, his clothes, a few knick knacks, photos, and his DVDs, CDs and books. 

Everything else they had purchased together or Spence already had when Tony moved in-he would leave most of that behind.

He would keep the beautiful headboard Gibbs had made for them.

He hoped to use it again someday.

The one thing he wanted most was the vase Spence cherished. Tony decided he wanted to carry on his tradition of placing flowers in the vase every week to honor Spence’s memory. If he was going to be denied visiting Spence’s grave he would keep his memory alive….wherever Tony’s new home may be.

He got up and went to the kitchen. He was going to have one more beer before he hit the sack. He returned to the living room and instead of sitting back on the couch he sat down at the piano bench.

Placing his beer on the floor. He cracked his knuckles then interlaced his fingers and pushed his palms outward. Feeling his hands stretched and loose he placed his fingers on the keys. He thought for a moment what he should play. He smiled as he thought about the last time he had played at Spence’s request. He knew most of the songs Spence liked to hear him play by heart.

“This is for you Spence!” He said out loud looking directly at the photo of the two of them, Spence’s smiling face resting on Tony’s shoulder, his arms lovingly draped around Tony.

Tony began with Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles”. He then played “My Immortal” by Evanescence, Bon Jovi’s “Always”, “Passion” by Utada Hikaru, some Beethoven, Chopin and finally “Numb” by Linkin Park. Tony loved that Spence had such eclectic taste in music.

Tony played with eyes closed, letting his love for Spence flow from his heart through his hands onto 88 keys that filled the room with music.

When he stopped playing he sat in the silence enjoying the euphoria he always got from playing the piano. He felt warm and at peace as he reached down and grabbed his beer. He took a long pull, enjoying the warm liquid.

'I must have been playing a long time for my beer to reach room temperature.' He thought as he returned the empty bottle to the floor.

He glanced at the roses and then gazed once more at the photo of himself and Spence. He took a deep breath and as he released it he realized his Sig was missing.

His body went rigid and at that moment he heard the familiar sound of a Sig’s rack sliding to manually cock the hammer.

Before Tony could turn around he heard a voice from the shadows say, “Looking for this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put Tony through a lot of hurt in this story. I hope you are up for that kind of ride. Things are about to get wickedly delicious. I am writing a story I like to read and I hope all of you taking time to journey along are enjoying it too.


	17. Chapter 17

Gibbs wrapped his arm around Abby as they left the hospital together. They walked in silence but Gibbs knew they were both worrying about Tony. When they reached Gibbs car he opened the passenger side door allowing Abby to get in. When he was behind the wheel she broke their silence saying:

“Gibbs, what are we going to do about Tony? I really don’t like leaving him alone.”

Gibbs sighed and replied “We have to give him some space, Abs” as he put the key in the ignition and started the Challenger.

He turned towards Abby and added “I’m worried about him too.”

She nodded and gave him a soft smile. Her eyes were bright with tears but she held them back.

They rode in a comfortable silence until Abby asked:

“How are you holding up, Gibbs? I just realized I have not asked you that. I mean, Tony’s loss was huge but so was yours. I know how much Spence meant to you.”

Gibbs had not really allowed himself to grieve for Spence, instead placing all his focus on Tony. Abby watched as the stoic look on Gibbs face changed to a deep sadness and as fast as that pain appeared it was gone.

“I’m okay, Abs.” He said, but she knew he wasn’t.

She felt bad she had mentioned it to him. He and Tony were so alike. They both masked their pain-Tony through humor, Gibbs in controlled, determined silence.

He was their fearless leader. He took care of his team like a papa bear. When you counted on the strongest person to carry you, it was easy to forget they needed to be carried or cradled sometimes.

When they reached Tony’s house, Gibbs walked Abby to her hearse. He kissed her cheek and said:

“Go home and get some rest Abby. Try not to worry too much about Tony. We just need to give him a bit of space.”

“Alright but YOU get some rest too, Bossman!” she chided him, pushing her index finger playfully into his chest. She kissed his cheek, got into her car and gave him a small wave as she drove off.

Gibbs watched Abby drive away until her taillights faded away into the night.

He turned his attention to the bungalow.

It stood there dark and cold, the streetlight casting eerie shadows all around it.

Gibbs reflected on the day he helped Spence move in. Spence was so excited to have his own house. He didn’t have a lot of stuff to unload so after about an hour; they sat together on the back porch and shared a six pack.

Spence told Gibbs how he wanted to turn the backyard into a huge vegetable garden. He had it already planned out. Gibbs volunteered to help him build the wooden planters to house the garden. Spence’s excitement turned to melancholy as he finished off his third beer. He confided in Gibbs it was great to have a house but he hoped he could meet someone special to make it a home. Linda had kept his sons from him. He had gone to court many times to fight for joint custody but his job worked against him. He had limited visitation so his relationship with his boys suffered greatly.

Getting back into his car he wondered if Tony would want to live in the house without Spence.

Gibbs was being sucked down into a pool of emotion. He needed a distraction.

He usually didn’t listen to the radio but decided to turn on the news. The drone of the newscaster allowed his mind to wander. His attention was grabbed when the story of a shootout at Bethesda earlier that day had left two gang members dead.

WHAT?

He didn’t get the whole story and was pissed he had not paid attention. He thought back remembering an intense police presence when he had brought Tony to Bethesda. He was preoccupied so it didn’t really register at the time.

He pulled into his drive way and immediately turned on his TV after he entered his house. He turned the channel to ZNN. They were talking weather at the time so Gibbs went to his kitchen and grabbed a beer. He grabbed some left over Chinese food too and threw it into the microwave, setting the timer for 2 minutes. He discarded his coat, toed off his shoes, and hit the head. The ding of the microwave drew him back to the kitchen.  
Beer cap on the counter, Chinese food hot and steaming, he grabbed some chop sticks and sat down on his worn but comfortable couch.

He took a large swig of beer and rooted around in the carton searching for the cashew chicken, avoiding the vegetables, while he waited for the financial report to end.

A commercial break allowed him to get another beer and toss the vegetable laden carton into the trash.

Finally, the story he had been waiting for played out. He learned that Los Muertos M C members had tried to break out the kid who killed Spence from Bethesda, only to be killed himself while trying to escape. He also learned that Joe Alvarez had been shot in retaliation for the gang member he had killed. The reporter had not mentioned Joe by name but it was easy to figure out. The reporter confirmed the police officer was at Bethesda and security had been increased.

Gibbs sat back and wondered if Tony knew about Joe. He also wondered about Tony’s safety. He got up and turned off the TV. He debated if he should drive over and check on Tony and Joe. His mind said no, give Tony his space but his gut screamed go, go, go!

He always trusted his gut.

Gibbs put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket, gun and keys. He was out the door and on his way back to Bethesda within minutes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs arrived at the hospital quickly, parked his car and headed into the hospital. He decided he would check on Joe first then check on DiNozzo. He figured if Tony was awake he would be able to tell him about Joe and how he was doing. If Tony was asleep he could watch over him and make a quick escape if Tony woke up.

He flashed his badge and asked for Joe’s room number. He headed to the elevator and hit the button for the 7th floor. When the doors opened Gibbs saw the uniformed Police officers down the corridor. One of the Officers looked familiar. Seeing Gibbs walking towards what was obviously Joe’s room, the officers stood and one of them approached Gibbs, his hand held up indicating to Gibbs that he should stop.

Gibbs read the body language and came to a halt.

“Can I help you sir?” The officer asked suspiciously

“I’m Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS. I know Joe Alvarez and wanted to see if he was okay.”

The cop’s expression changed to a smile.

“Tony’s boss! Yes, I remember you from the basketball games Spence organized last summer.”

He offered his hand to Gibbs and said “Mark Jensen.”

The name clicked as Gibbs shook his hand.

“Right! Nice to see you again Mark. How is Joe doing?”

“He is currently sedated but you can visit awhile if you’d like.”

“I’d like to see him at least” Gibbs agreed as Mark guided him into Joe’s room.

The two men stood across from each other as Gibbs watched Joe sleep.

“The doctors expect him to recover but he may be permanently riding a desk, I’m afraid.” Mark whispered.

Gibbs just nodded watching Joe breathe. This whole incident had been a total cluster fuck.

The next comment from Mark brought Gibbs head up with a snap.

“I warned Tony before he left that he should watch his back. Spence and Joe’s CI found out Los Muertos could be gunning for their families in retaliation. We called the Spencer family earlier this evening to warn them. We have Joe’s family in a safe house.”

Gibbs shook his head not sure he heard right.

“Tony was here?” Gibbs demanded

“Yes.” Mark responded wondering what had changed Gibbs demeanor.

“And he left? Left to go back to his room?”

“Uh, no, he checked himself out AMA….”

Mark stopped speaking, looking confused.

Gibbs had just rushed out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Getting back on the elevator Gibbs slammed his fist against the button that would take him back to the main floor.

“Goddam idiot!”

Gibbs fumed, cursing Tony’s stupid decision to leave and cursing himself for leaving Tony to his own devices.

He knew better than to trust DiNozzo to stay put.

When the elevator door opened he looked around and noticed the nurse who had cared for Tony. She was carrying a bottle of water and looked like she was just getting off a break.

Gibbs approached her and was about to flash his badge when she greeted him “Hello, Agent Gibbs.”

He did not acknowledge her greeting but said “I just heard Agent DiNozzo checked himself out. Can you tell me when he left?”

She could see he looked really stressed so she quickly answered “I called him a cab at his request. It finally arrived about 90 minutes ago.”

“Thanks” he yelled back to her.

He had already started running when she got to the 90 minutes part of her statement.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs roared out of the hospital parking lot heading back to Tony’s house. He tried to calm himself. He was so furious he wanted to just rip into DiNozzo for being so reckless with his health. If he was really honest with himself the reason he was so damn mad was because he was actually scared that Tony may be in real danger.

The protective feelings he had for Tony had dialed up with Spence’s death. He knew they were irrational but where Tony was concerned Gibbs did not have a lot of rational thoughts.

He slowed his car as he turned down Tony’s street. He drove slowly past the bungalow, noticing muted light from the first floor. A black van was parked in front of Tony’s house so Gibbs pulled into the drive way.

He took a few deep breaths and debated what he should do. It didn’t take long to decide. He flung open the car door and trying not to stomp his way up the steps and kick in the door, he commanded his mind to calm and relax.

When he got to the front stairs of the house he stopped. He could hear beautiful music and knew it was Tony at the piano. Gibbs was not really into music but it was not hard to hear and feel the emotions behind every note Tony played. Gibbs quietly moved to the top stair and sat down. The music washed away his anger. Tony was safe and Gibbs just knew Tony was playing for Spence. Gibbs closed his eyes and just listened. It was truly cathartic.

Gibbs believed Spence when he raved about Tony’s musical talent but Gibbs had never been patient enough to really sit and listen to Tony play. In fact, the few times Spence had goaded Tony to play for Gibbs, Tony always appeared embarrassed and would find a way to get out of it.

Gibbs now knew he had really been missing out all these years. Tony was extremely gifted musically. Spence always boasted that Tony was a man of many talents. Gibbs had always been curious about that statement since Spence would just smile and refuse to elaborate.

It took a few minutes for Gibbs to realize it was quiet. He waited but when the silence dragged on he stood and walked to the door. He hesitated. Should he knock or should he just leave. Obviously Tony was okay.

“Well not obviously” Gibbs said to himself.

Feeling foolish but needing to know Tony was actually alright, Gibbs made his way to a side window. He peered in and saw Tony sitting at the piano. He seemed to be looking at the photos. Gibbs watched as Tony’s body stiffened and he began to turn to look behind him. Something had drawn Tony’s attention. Gibbs followed Tony’s line of sight. Gibbs could make out a figure in the shadows.

His blood turned to ice.

Tony was in danger.

The question was from whom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs quickly made his way to the back of the house. He knew this house and this property as well as his own. He toed off his shoes and climbed the few stairs to the back door. Gibbs pulled his lock picks from the breast pocket of his jacket and put them to use. He had the door unlocked in seconds. He put the tools back in his pocket, pulled out his Sig and entered the house. He avoided all the spots on the hard wood floors that may creak under foot. He made his way towards the front room and when he had a bead on the figure he stopped. Like the highly trained sniper he was, he lay in wait until he had the perfect shot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Tony heard the voice say “Looking for this?” he knew he had underestimated Los Muertos M C.

He turned and saw a man he had never seen before step forward holding Tony’s gun. Tony had been so tired he had not locked up his weapon immediately upon entering his home. He had the same routine everyday….walk in and secure the Sig. Of all days to break that routine.

Being killed with your own gun was embarrassing.

Tony thought about asking the usual questions “Who are you?” and “What do you want?”

But Tony already knew this guy was here to kill him.

The man did nothing to try and conceal his identity. Tony could clearly see his face and the man was defiantly wearing his Los Muertos M C leather vest.

In fact Tony noticed he even had a name patch. It said Segador.

“Reaper?” Tony said sarcastically, than added “Somebody’s parents were creative!”

Hector Zegarra stepped forward, a cruel smile on his face.

He remained silent as he calmly approached Tony.

It had been so simple to find Riley Spencer’s home-public records were a wonderful thing. Hector was upset to find the house empty. He had rushed to sober up and was now pissed he ruined a good buzz. He had just decided to leave when he saw the cab pull up to the Spencer home. He did a U-turn and parked his van in front of the house. He broke in again and was pleased to hear the shower running upstairs. He moved to the shadows and like a spider in a web, he waited for the fly.

His patience had really paid off.

He had enjoyed the musical production and now he got to indulge in a favorite past time-terror and lots of physical violence.

As Tony began to rise, the man said “Sit the fuck down and keep your hands on the piano!”

Tony did as he was told. He never broke eye contact as he took in every detail of the man threatening him.

If he survived this ordeal he would need to be able to identify this man. He was 5’10 or 5’11, Hispanic, shoulder length black hair and dark eyes. He had a very muscular build and Tony knew he would be hard to beat if it got physical between them. He noticed the man had very white teeth as he leered at Tony. Tony made a mental note to remember the man had one gold tooth, a canine.

He also had an impressive scar that ran from his hairline to his chin. Tony really wanted to ask the man how he got it but figured that was probably not a good idea at the time.

Hector Zegarra stopped in front of Tony and looked down on him. He then glanced at the photo of Tony and Spence. He kept the gun level to Tony’s head as he pointed at Spence’s picture.

“This cerdo (pig) is the reason my brother is dead.”

Tony should have remained quiet. He knew that logically but it just wasn’t in his nature.

“Well, that happens to assholes who try to commit robberies. Nature of the business don’t you think?” Tony said the sentence dripping with sarcasm.

Hector’s eyes narrowed as Tony gave him a big smile.

Before Hector could respond Tony lost the smile and said “Your brother deserved to die for killing one of the best men I have ever known.”

Hector’s response was to pistol whip him.

Tony’s head snapped forward as he had took a blow to the right side of his skull. As he tried to raise his head he saw blood drops falling onto ivory piano keys. They looked surreal.

Gibbs held his breath. He wanted to just shoot the fucker who hit Tony but the gun barrel was again too close to Tony’s head. Gibbs was afraid Tony may be killed if he acted in haste. So he waited and hoped Tony would shut his trap.

Hector pointed to Tony’s image in the photo and said “This is you?”

Tony had a hard time seeing what Hector was pointing at. He had a lot of blood running into his eye. He moved his hand off the piano and tried to wipe the blood away. Hector slammed his head down on the piano screaming “It is YOU. You a fucking maricon (fag)?”

Tony responded in Spanish “Chinga usted, pendejo!” (Fuck you asshole)

Hector was surprised. His eyebrows shot up and he replied “Que chingados?” (What the fuck)

“You speak perfect Spanish white boy!”

“Yeah? Well kiss my white ass, cabron (motherfucker)!”

“Shut up DiNozzo!” Gibbs thought.

Hector grabbed Tony at the back of his sweatshirt and pulled him to his feet. Tony gagged and instinctively raised his hands to pull the fabric away from his bruised neck.

Hector dragged Tony back with him towards the front door, as he spat out what he wanted to do to him.

“I should just stomp your hands until the bones are dust, maricon! Cripple you so you can never play another song or never shoot another gun!”

Hector laughed loudly, amused at what he thought to say next.

“Useless hands so you can never hold your dick to take a piss or jack yourself off or some other joto (gay)! Only thing you’d be good for is to throw you down and fuck you. Maybe get one of my boys to fuck your mouth while I’m doing it. In fact, I think I want to play with you a bit before I stomp those talented hands and put a bullet into your pretty head!”

As Hector was ranting, Tony tried to get his footing so he could swing around and fight back but his chance never came. Hector had twisted the sweatshirt around his hand, effectively tightening it like a noose around Tony’s neck. As Hector pulled him back, Tony would stumble, he would gasp for breath and dark spots began to appear before his eyes. He began to panic praying he would not lose consciousness and fall prey to this fucking psycho.

Gibbs had had enough. He didn’t have a clear shot but he could not wait any longer. He stood from his dark corner of the room and with all the authority he could command he screamed:

“NCIS, FEDERAL AGENT! RELEASE SPECIAL AGENT DINOZZO AND DROP YOUR WEAPON!”

The stunned look on Hector’s face was equally mirrored by Tony. Hector still had a hold of Tony’s sweatshirt in one hand and his gun in the other. Tony had his hands at the neck of his sweatshirt trying to prevent strangulation. The shock of Gibbs voice froze them in place like a grotesque statue.

Gibbs took that moment to move forward. That action got a reaction from Hector. As Gibbs got close Hector shoved Tony forcefully into Gibbs. Gibbs caught Tony and as they tumbled back, Hector made his escape.

Gibbs moved with the motion of Tony’s body but sidestepped in time to allow Tony to fall towards the floor. Gibbs cushioned the descent so by the time Tony made it to the floor he was placed there gently. Gibbs ran to the front door and burst outside taking cover to the left. The man had run to the van but stopped and took a couple of shots at Gibbs.

Gibbs fired back and Hector ducked. He slipped into the driver’s seat of the van and shoved the key into the ignition. Shattered glass rained towards him as Gibbs took out the passenger side window. As the van sped away, Gibbs pulled out his phone and called 9-1-1. He reported the van and the direction it had taken off. He had caught 4 numbers of the rear license and advised a BOLO alert be placed immediately. He could kick himself for not checking out the van before he went to Tony’s door. He knew it was suspicious, especially since it did not have a front license plate.

He hurried back to Tony and kneeled down next to him on the floor. He grimaced as his knee popped and a familiar pain shot through his body.

Tony was wheezing and clutching his throat. He had his eyes closed but he sensed Gibbs was there with him. As he struggled to sit up, a strong arm cradled his back and helped lift him up into a sitting position.

When he was steady, the arm pulled away and Tony heard Gibbs walking towards the kitchen. He heard the water go on at the sink and he heard Gibbs open a drawer. Then the drawer was closed, the water was shut off and then the sound of a knee pop. He tried to open his eyes but a warm wet cloth was placed on his forehead as Gibbs gently tried to clean the blood from Tony’s face. Tony had been startled at first but then leaned into Gibbs comforting hand.

“Boss? How the hell did you know I was here?”

“Saw the report about the gang shootout at Bethesda on ZNN. They said a cop had been shot in retaliation for the robbery the day before and was there at the hospital. Figured it was Joe and thought you didn’t know. Went to check on him and your friend Mark Jensen told me you checked out AMA. You know DiNozzo; if you weren’t currently bleeding and with a possible double concussion, I would head slap you into next week!”

Tony merely sighed letting Gibbs take care of him.

The blood was still flowing from the cut over his eye and he felt dizzy.

“I think I need to take you back to Bethesda, Tony. This cut is bleeding pretty badly. I think you need some stitches.”

Tony grabbed Gibbs by the wrist which pulled his hand with the towel away from Tony’s face.

Tony looked at Gibbs with desperate eyes.

“No Boss, NO! No hospital! Can’t you call Ducky and have him come over!?” Tony pleaded pulling Gibbs arm against his body. It never ceased to amaze him that Tony could face countless killers, sustain a calm bravado in a shootout, laugh during a beating but when it came down to a trip to the hospital he whined, begged and pleaded like a little kid not wanting to go to bed early.

It angered Gibbs but at times Tony’s neediness was part of his charm.

It was Gibbs turn to sigh. He pulled out of Tony’s grasp and took out his phone. He placed the call to Dr. Mallard.

As Gibbs hung up with Ducky, D.C. Metro arrived.

For the next few hours statements were given and evidence was obtained and catalogued. Since Gibbs knew that retaliation was directed at Tony only because of his connection to Spence, he deferred to Metro to handle the case.

He would personally take charge of keeping Tony safe.

Ducky arrived in the midst of all the chaos.

He entered the front door and looked around.

“Oh my!” he stated to no one in particular.

Removing his hat and trench coat he laid them on the piano bench.

Carrying his doctor’s bag he went in search of Tony and Gibbs.

He found them sitting at the kitchen table. Ducky smirked to himself as he heard Gibbs gruff voice telling Tony to sit still. Ducky arrived just in time to see Tony squirming in a chair as Gibbs tried to hold two ice packs at different positions of Tony’s skull.

Tony tried to snatch them out of Gibbs hands as he yelled “Just give them to me! I can handle it myself!”

“FINE, take them then you stubborn idiot!” Gibbs countered shoving the packs into Tony’s hands.

Tony pouted and looked wounded by Gibbs words as he raised the packs to his head and closed his eyes in relief.

Their argumentative banter lessened the worry Ducky had on his drive over. Gibbs had only said Tony had been attacked and was bleeding and Ducky needed to come over as fast as he could and then he had hung up. 

Ducky needed to remember to advise Gibbs he was getting a bit too old to handle the stress of calls like that. 

Gibbs stood up from the table and greeted the older Doctor “Hey Duck, thanks for coming so fast.”

Ducky simply nodded and moving over to take a look at Tony, said “So Anthony, my dear boy, what kind of high jinx have you gotten into now?”

Ducky had pulled up a chair to meet Tony at eye level. Gibbs sat down across from them, facing Ducky.

Tony put the ice packs on the table and turned to face Ducky. When Ducky got a good look he held back a gasp. Tony had the cut over his eye that was bleeding profusely. He had another large bruise on his forehead and the bruises around his neck were now joined by a few bloody strips of ripped flesh where his sweatshirt had rubbed it raw. 

Ducky could not refrain from exclaiming “MY GOD, Anthony! You should be in hospital!”

“NO HOSPITAL DUCKY!” Tony’s look was frantic and determined. He picked up the ice packs and placed them back on his head. He had his head down and was muttering to himself about not going to a hospital.

Ducky reached out and patted Tony’s shoulder and said quietly “Alright my boy, alright. No hospital.”

Ducky looked at Gibbs and said “I need a quiet room. Can you help me get him upstairs?”

“Sure Duck. Metro is almost done here.”

Gibbs stood and moved in front of Tony.

He pulled the ice packs out of Tony’s hands and grabbing both of Tony’s arms he pulled him up and out of the chair.

“Hey!” Tony protested, God he just wanted to lay down and sleep for a week.

“Shut it DiNozzo! You don’t want to go to the hospital, fine, but you will obey every order we give you, you hear me?”

“Got it boss.”

Gibbs could see anger in Tony’s eyes-it was like it was seething right under the surface.

“Tough!” Gibbs thought pulling Tony forward.

Tony let them lead him to the stairs and help him get up them. It was slow going. Ducky and Gibbs exchanged worried looks as Tony dragged one foot after the other up to the second floor.

When they were outside the master bedroom Tony tried to pull back and head down the hall. Gibbs was unaware of Tony’s need to avoid this room, this bed. He knew Tony was suffering both physical and emotional trauma but he had had it with the whiney bullshit.

“On the bed, NOW!” he pulled Tony roughly away from the door frame but gently shoved him down into a sitting position on the king size bed.

Tony’s demeanor changed instantly. Where he had only moments before been argumentative and angry he now just looked despondent. He hung his head and stared at his hands.

Gibbs was confused and wasn’t sure how to handle this sudden change. He looked at Ducky who simply shrugged and said “Give us about thirty minutes, Jethro.”

Gibbs looked at Tony and back at Ducky and said “Sure Duck. Just call me if you need some help.”

Before he closed the door he turned back and said quietly “You’ll be okay Tony. Just let Ducky help you. I’ll be back in a little while.”

Tony didn’t respond to Gibbs. He didn’t move.

He followed every order Ducky gave him as Ducky poked and prodded every inch of Tony’s numb body.

He heard Ducky talking to him. His voice was full of care and comfort. Ducky explained everything he was doing or needed to do. He watched as Ducky threaded a needle and proceeded to stitch the cut above Tony’s eye. Tony didn’t move just stared at Ducky and watched him work. He could feel the needle as it cross stitched his flesh together. He usually had a fear of needles but for some reason it didn’t cross his mind as Ducky completed his ministrations.

Tony accepted the two pills and glass of water Ducky gave him without protest. He popped the pills and swallowed them down. When Ducky asked him to lie down on the bed Tony rebelled. He refused and actually stood up and headed out of the room.

He had made it to the hallway when he simply passed out.

“JETHRO!” Ducky called to Gibbs from the top of the stairs.

Gibbs took the stairs two at a time. He was followed by two Metro officers.

Gibbs took in the scene and without words he motioned for the two officers to help him pick up Tony and carry him back to the bed.

As Ducky lent a hand, Gibbs said “Dammit Duck what the hell happened?”

“He was completely compliant until I asked him to lie down. In fact he was much too compliant, Jethro. He didn’t speak at all and never flinched when I stitched the cut over his eye. He even took the pills I handed him without protest.”

Gibbs knew that was not the actions of their Tony at all.

Making sure Tony was lying comfortably in his bed, Gibbs waved his hand towards the bedroom door and the four men made their way downstairs.

The Metro officers were posted on protection detail for the night. Gibbs had been making them a pot of coffee when they were distracted by Ducky’s anguished call.

When the cops left to take up their positions outside, hot mugs of coffee in hand, Gibbs asked Ducky to sit at the kitchen table. He set a freshly steeped cup of Earl Grey in front of the Scotsman, much to Ducky’s delight.

“Thank you, Jethro” Ducky said after taking a sip of the strong beverage.

Gibbs took a drink of his coffee and set the mug down on the table. He sat back and looking at Ducky he said exasperated “I don’t know what to do with him Duck. He has been through so much shit the last couple of days.”

Gibbs caught Ducky up on all the things that had happened to Tony that he didn’t know.

Ducky sat across from Gibbs holding his tea cup in midair; mouth slightly agape at the unbelievable events that had happened. It would have looked amusing if not for the dire circumstances of the story.

“…and then tonight…. After pistol whipping Tony and slamming his head into the piano, the bastard nearly strangled him as he tried to kidnap him. He actually threatened to break every bone in his hands, sodomize him and put a bullet in his head!”

“Good lord Jethro! Do they know anything about this, this…beast that attacked Tony tonight?”

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee as he shook his head in the affirmative.

“Hector “The Reaper” Zegarra, leader of Los Muertos M.C. The brazen bastard was hell bent on killing Tony tonight in retaliation against Spence. Spence was killed by Zegarra’s brother and the bastard wants to seek revenge against a dead man! He is the worst of the worst. At least we know who he is and Metro will get him.”

“I shudder to think what would have happened to Anthony had you not gone to the hospital, Jethro. It is surprising Anthony has been able to function at all, really. He is going to need special handling.”

Gibbs looked at Ducky wondering exactly what the good Doctor meant by that. Ducky’s face held no tell, just pure concern for Tony’s well-being.

Gibbs observed Ducky glance at the microwave clock so he said “Do you want to stay the night Duck?”

Ducky shook his head and said “I must get back to Mother. I will see myself out Jethro and see you at work tomorrow. I will check on Anthony one more time before I leave. You must remember to wake him every two hours. If he does not respond I encourage you to immediately call an ambulance. Tony should be in a hospital. Our soft spot for that boy is not doing him any favors.”

“He’s not a boy Duck”

Ducky smiled “Perhaps not to you....but to me, well, I could be his Grandfather you know!”

Gibbs smirked at that.

“Well go check on your boy then and get out of here Ducky.”

Gibbs busied himself cleaning up the kitchen as Ducky went to check on Tony.

When Ducky returned to the kitchen he was smiling. Gibbs gave him an inquiring look.

“I am happy to report I was able to wake Anthony and get him back to sleep after he was able to answer a pertinent question.”

“What was the answer?”

“Leroy Jethro Gibbs!”

“What was the question?”

“Who is your favorite bastard?”

“Nice Duck, goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those skilled in the speaking and writing of the beautiful language of Spanish you will notice I am not one of those individuals. No beta so all mistakes are mine...including poorly translated Spanish via internet search.


	18. Chapter 18

Gibbs walked Ducky out to his car carrying a pot of coffee.

He watched Ducky safely drive away, and then checked on the Metro officers guarding Tony for the night.

He refilled their empty mugs and taking one final sweep of the perimeters he walked back into the bungalow. He locked the front door then checked the back door off the kitchen. He poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

He sat quietly, just listening.

Nothing broke the silence.

Satisfied, Gibbs indulged in a sip of the dark roast. He glanced at the microwave clock. It was after 2 am. He didn’t want to disturb the Director at this hour so Gibbs placed a call to Morrow’s office phone and left him a message letting him know he would be in to work in the late afternoon.

Kate and McGee were still working with Balboa’s team so he didn’t worry about contacting them.

Taking another sip of the cooling coffee he ran a hand over his tired face.

Now that he had time to think about all that had happened, he could feel the fear of what might have been crawl up and settle under his skin. He shuddered, what would have happened if Hector Zegarra had managed to render Tony unconscious and taken him in the van?

He wondered if they would have ever found Tony’s body if the gang leader had been successful.

He would have lost both Spence and Tony. Losing Spence was so hard but if he lost Tony he didn’t think he could go on. He would probably just quit NCIS and head to Mexico. Take shelter with Mike Franks and hope his old mentor could help him from drowning in bourbon.

He had to shed the morbid thoughts. He replaced the “what ifs” with the “what is”.

He took comfort knowing Tony was upstairs and he would eventually be okay.

Gibbs looked at the time. He would need to wake Tony in about an hour. He was exhausted so he got up, poured the last of the coffee in his mug, and made his way back to the living room. He had no interest in the TV so he scanned the bookcase for something to read.

He and Spence shared a love of all things military and they both loved westerns. Gibbs laughed as he remembered Spence telling him how Tony had decided to put his own touch on shelving their books and movies. He found with every book Spence had on the shelf Tony had added the movie adaptation on DVD. He found his best friend and SFA had quite a collection.

He settled on “True Grit”, the book, not the movie. He had seen the John Wayne movie with Spence years ago. He had never read the book so he took it off the shelf and carried it over to the couch. He set his coffee down and looked at the paperback novel. It felt weird in his hand, uneven and strangely bulky. He flipped through several pages and found two Polaroid photos tucked near the back wrapped in what looked like a letter.

He set the letter aside and looked at the photos. The first one was of Spence, Gibbs and Shannon. She was standing behind the two men as the three of them leaned in towards the camera. They were all laughing.

'God, we look so young…and so happy!' he thought 

Gibbs was caught off guard but the memory of that day came back to him. Linda had taken the photo. It was on a rare occasion the four of them got together. Linda was so jealous and controlling she was hard to be around and was definitely a “buzz kill” as Abby would say.

He stared at Shannon’s beautiful face. He felt his eyes begin to burn. It dawned on him that this photo was taken on the day Shannon had told him they were pregnant. He closed his eyes and fought the grief. Taking a deep breath he looked at the next photo.

Shannon, standing sideways holding her sundress close to her body, peered down at Gibbs as he kneeled in front of her. He was looking up into her eyes after he had just kissed her belly. She had not yet begun to show. The picture was fading and the colors were off but Gibbs relived that moment in full Technicolor in his mind.

He had been so happy that day. They were both “over the moon” to borrow the words his Dad said when they called him with the news. Shannon’s parents were as excited and Spence and Linda had them over for dinner that night to celebrate their wonderful news. Spence was honored and overwhelmed with emotion when Gibbs asked them to be Godparents. He remembered he tried to overlook Linda’s annoyed response to that request. Spence’s enthusiasm made up for it.

Gibbs set the photo down and picked up the letter. It was not complete and parts of it had been crossed out and other words had been added. The paper was yellowed and had been written in pencil. It looked like a rough draft really but the message was one of solidarity, concern and friendship.

It was dated a month after Kelly and Shannon had been murdered.

Essentially it read:

Gibbs,

I know you are going to find the bastard who did this to your beautiful Shannon and our darling Kelly. If I could be there with you I would help you hunt that motherfucker down. I would ask you to wait for me, let me cover your six. If you cannot wait for me, then I ask that you proceed carefully my dear friend.

You know Shannon would not want you to throw your life away for revenge.

Semper Fi

Spence

Gibbs read it three times before he lowered it and then turned it over.

He set the letter down amazed that of all the books he could have chosen he picked this one and it contained these treasures.

He looked at the back cover of the book reading the description of the novel. It was not lost on him that the book was about a girl who sought revenge for the death of her beloved Father. He had always identified with the John Wayne character, Rooster Cogburn. In reality he was like the girl, Mattie Ross. She had been hell bent on revenge, obtained it and had grown up to a life of solitude.

She had achieved her goal but had ended up alone.

Gibbs wondered why Spence placed these items in this book and why he had not sent Gibbs the letter. Since Gibbs did not believe in coincidences he knew Spence had done it with purpose.

He just wished he could ask him.

Spence had still been overseas at the time and was unable to attend the funeral. When they next saw each other Gibbs had confided in Spence that the killer had been taken out. Gibbs was a mess then.

He didn’t lose a moments rest killing Pedro Hernandez but the grief of losing the girls took its toll.

Spence had been there for him. Helped keep him sane and encouraged Gibbs to join the NIS when Mike Franks recruited him.

He wondered if Spence had ever confided in Tony the details of Gibbs early life.

His guess was that Spence had not. Spence was more than a good friend, he was a brother and he could keep a secret.

Gibbs returned the photos back in the letter and folded it. He placed the repackaged letter back in the book and standing, went and picked up his jacket and slipped the book with its secret gift inside his breast pocket. He would make sure it was okay with Tony that he could keep it.

Gibbs heard movement upstairs. He reacted as if Tony was in danger. Pulling his Sig and checking the clip he made his way to the stairs.

He would do anything to keep Tony safe.

Gibbs was determined neither of them would end up alone.


	19. Chapter 19

Tony woke up not knowing where he was. He knew he was in a bed but was not sure whose.

The room was very dark; the only light shining was from the LED of the alarm clock. It was almost 3 but Tony didn’t know if it was afternoon or early morning.

His head and throat were just killing him, both throbbed a steady beat of sheer pain.

FUCK!

He remembered he had been in the hospital but this was no hospital room.

He felt around as the fog began to clear from his mind.

Pillows and bedding were familiar.

His hand roamed up and along the head board.

Hand carved Ivy vines.

His hand froze as the realization hit him he was in his own bed.

Could the last few days have been a simple nightmare?

He brought his hand down to his chest. He lay there on his back for several minutes listening for the familiar sounds he usually heard at night lying next to him. The room was too quiet.

Tony rolled over to Spence’s side of the bed. As he did he swept his arm up in an arch with the hope he would be bringing it down lightly onto Spence’s side. When he had that connection he would pull Spence back, tight against his own body. He would hold him for dear life and thank the powers that be it was only a horrible dream.

When his hand landed on a cold empty space, the events of the past few days flooded his brain like a tsunami.

The adrenaline rush drove him up and out of the bed, pain be damned.

Unfortunately, due to his injuries, Tony lacked the coordination to execute a clean exit. His feet tangled with the bedding and he tripped, sending his body crashing down to the hardwood floor. His shoulder took the brunt of the fall sparing him the possibility of splitting open the stitches on his forehead. He lay there breathing heavily wondering what he should do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was the sound of Tony hitting the floor that drew Gibbs attention from below. He had pulled his gun ready to shoot any intruder that may have found their way past him and Metro.

Gibbs ran up the stairs as quietly as he could.

Standing to the left of the master bedroom door Gibbs could hear heavy breathing.

“Tony?” he called out, the concern evident in his voice.

He was rewarded with a muffled “Yeah, Boss?”

Gibbs felt relief sweep through him. He holstered his gun and stepped into the dark room. He felt for the light switch. Flipping it on he saw Tony off to the left of the bed, the bedding twisted around his legs.

“Jeez, Tony!” Gibbs said as he moved quickly to help Tony up.

“Are you alright?” he inquired as he pulled Tony from his sheet and blanket web.

“I’ve been better” He answered quietly as Gibbs helped him to the edge of the bed. Sitting down, Tony held his head in his hands and groaned.

“What can I do to help?” Gibbs asked

“You have your Sig?”

“Uh, yes”

“Then just shoot me please.”

Gibbs smirked at that. A small part of Tony’s humor was back. It was a good sign.

Gibbs knelt down to look at Tony and knew if Tony felt as bad as he looked, shooting him would have been merciful.

“Here” Gibbs said compassionately “Let me take a look at you.”

Gibbs moved Tony’s hand away from his head and cupping Tony’s chin, he lifted his head to check for further damage.

Tony sat quietly just watching the concern and care Gibbs eyes held as he studied Tony’s injuries.

Gibbs touch was gentle and caring and…

'Loving?' Tony thought 'No, that can’t be true. I must be imagining it.'

Tony could not believe he saw loving concern in Gibbs eyes.

He shut his eyes to that fantasy and allowed Gibbs to finish what he was doing. Tony tried to sit still but couldn’t help himself as he leaned into Gibbs warm hand.

Tony missed the full smile that blossomed on Gibbs face when Tony responded to his touch.

'Maybe, just maybe…..but not yet' Gibbs thought as he finished making sure stitches were still in place and there was no bleeding going on.

Satisfied Tony was still in one piece, he sat back on his haunches.

Tony held back a whimper when Gibbs removed his warm hand.

The painful pop of Gibbs knee drew Tony’s eyelids to an open position.

“Ouch…you okay boss?” he asked, a pained look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Gibbs smiled as he stood up. He sat next to Tony on the bed.

Tony did not miss that Gibbs chose to sit very close, their hands almost touching. Tony looked down at their hands and then up at Gibbs face. Meeting Gibbs eyes he felt mesmerized.

Gibbs had the most beautiful blue eyes. Right now they appeared like two pools of crystal lapis.

Tony broke eye contact looking to his right.

'What the fuck!' he thought

It had happened so fast Gibbs wasn’t sure what had just gone through Tony’s mind. Gibbs had noticed Tony’s moss green eyes glaze over and his pupils dilate before Tony turned away.

He could see Tony had tensed so he stood up and said:

“You need to get some rest Tony. Before you get back to sleep let me give you two pain pills Ducky left for you and he also said to put some antibiotic salve on those rips on your neck.”

Tony had turned back to Gibbs and was fascinated to find Gibbs looking nervous. He had never seen that, ever. Because it was a new phenomenon, Tony figured it must also be his imagination.

He watched as Gibbs eyes darted around the room and then he had actually pantomimed applying the salve on his neck.

Gibbs could sense his own nervousness and fought to keep it under control. He knew this was not the time or place to let Tony know he had any interest in him other than friend helping friend. He steadied himself and walked over to the nightstand to pick up the salve. He thought about applying it to Tony’s neck for him but he honestly thought it may be too erotic. He helped Tony get up and guided him towards the bathroom mirror so Tony could apply it himself. 

Gibbs helped steady Tony as he stood at the mirror. When he felt Tony was sturdy on his own two feet He opened the tube of antibiotic gel and squirted a bit of the thick substance onto Tony’s extended fingers. As Tony applied the ointment, Gibbs picked up the sheet and blanket off the floor and began to put the bed back together.

Tony couldn’t stomach looking at his reflection. He looked like shit and he hurt even worse. As he applied the salve he watched Gibbs move around the room.

Tony was stymied. What the hell was happening? He had the strangest feeling of static sexual electricity bouncing around the room. He shook the feeling away. He must have taken more of a beating then he remembered.

He washed his hands and dried them. He felt his body sway a bit and before he began to fall to his right he noticed Gibbs in the mirror. He was running towards Tony and caught him just before his knees buckled.

“Okay DiNozzo…back to bed!” Gibbs said with authority.

'DiNozzo?!…oh yeah, imagined it all!' Tony thought as Gibbs helped him to the bed.

Tony sat down and accepted the pills and the glass of water Gibbs had mysteriously produced out of thin air. Tony almost laughed out loud thinking about Gibbs as a magician. If Gibbs had those kinds of skills, interrogation would be much more interesting.

Tony could feel himself getting loopy. It wasn’t from the pills. He had bad reactions to pain pills but he had just taken two and they were not absorbed that fast. He was giddy with pain and exhaustion and every ounce of adrenaline had left his body.

“I’ll be downstairs Tony if you need me. I will be back in two hours to wake you again.” Gibbs stated as he pulled the covers back so Tony could lie down.

Tony just nodded his approval but before Gibbs could turn away Tony grabbed his wrist pulling him back.

“Boss…can you help me to the guest room?” he asked

Gibbs brows furrowed as he asked “Why?”

Tony looked slightly embarrassed as he said “Um, I don’t want to sleep alone in this bed. I, uh, well Abby stayed with me the night Spence was killed and I had no problem being in here. I just…I just don’t want to be alone in here…it’s just too hard for me.”

The light bulb went on over Gibbs head. He finally realized why Tony had tried to go down the hall when they brought him upstairs earlier that night. Gibbs felt remorse as he remembered forcing Tony into the room and yelling at him to get on the bed. He had not even thought about how sleeping alone might bother Tony. He should have known better. He slept on the couch after Shannon died. He didn’t sleep in a bed again until he married Diane.

“Sure Tony. Let me help you up.”

“K” Tony slurred as he got to his feet.

He gave Gibbs a mega-watt smile and took a step forward.

With the second step Tony passed out in Gibbs arms.

“Dammit, Tony!” Gibbs said struggling with Tony’s dead weight.

He got Tony back on the bed and pulled the covers over him.

Gibbs looked around trying to decide what he should do.

He left Tony for a few minutes running downstairs to turn out most of the lights. He left one on near the couch so the Metro officers could have a clear view into the home from the side window. He grabbed “True Grit” from his jacket but before he headed upstairs he removed the photos and letter and placed them back into the pocket.

He made his way back to Tony’s room and set his phone’s alarm for two hours. He turned off the overhead light after he had turned on the bedside lamp near the empty part of the bed.

Spence’s side of the bed. 

Gibbs hesitated when he thought of that. 

He looked at Tony who was out cold and then he looked at the door.

Tony probably would not wake up in the next two hours but Gibbs didn’t want Tony waking up alone.

He placed the book and his Sig on the side table and took off his shoes.

He looked at the headboard he had made for his two friends.

It mocked and shamed him.

He ignored the inanimate object, fluffed the pillows and sat back on the bed.

He would read for a while and then wake Tony when the alarm went off.

That was the plan.

Before Gibbs could reach for the book he was out like a light.


	20. Chapter 20

Tony woke up needing to pee.

He lay in bed trying to gather the strength to get up.

He was on his back, his left arm thrown over his eyes shielding them from the light in the room.

His body ached all over, especially his head, his back and his throat.

He knew he would need to move soon, the call of nature was persistent.

Throwing back the covers he struggled to get up. He got both feet placed firmly on the floor as he cradled his aching head in both hands. Taking a deep breath, he stood.

Eyes tightly shut, he shuffled to the bathroom.

Bladder emptied, he yawned as he made his way to the sink.

He turned on the water and kept his hand under the cool liquid as he waited for it to heat.

He balanced the water faucets and when he had the perfect temperature, he washed his hands and splashed water onto his face. It was when he grabbed a towel and was beginning to dry off that he opened his eyes and looked in the mirror.

The bruises around his neck and the stitched forehead were still as gruesome as he remembered so he blinked and looked away. It was as he turned back to the bedroom he noticed Gibbs asleep on his bed.

What the hell!?

He placed the towel on the counter and walked quietly back and around the bed until he was looking down at Gibbs. Tony took in the full scene.

Gibbs was lying on top of the covers and was fully clothed except for his shoes. He was propped up on two pillows against the headboard almost in a sitting position. His legs were crossed at his ankles and he was leaning towards the nightstand, his right arm across his chest. It almost looked like he had been reaching for something when he just collapsed into sleep.

Tony looked at the nightstand and saw Gibbs’ gun, phone and the book “True Grit”. He remembered Spence had mentioned that book reminded him of Gibbs. Tony did not know why.

Gibbs looked peaceful and so much younger. He was so deeply asleep all the stress lines had relaxed on his face. Tony wanted nothing more than to let him slumber.

He picked up Gibbs phone and realized the alarm was set to go off in 5 minutes. He turned it off.

Looking back at his boss Tony thought about the conversation they had the night before. Tony remembered Gibbs was trying to assist him to the guest room but obviously they had not made it. He had confessed to Gibbs he did not want to sleep in the bed alone and count on Gibbs to make sure he didn’t.

Tony knew he could always count on Gibbs.

The man had saved his life, twice, in the last 48 hours. Gibbs had lost Spence, too, but he had made Tony his first priority. Tony did not know if he could even come close to repaying Gibbs for everything he had ever done for him. He had given Tony a job, friendship, his NCIS family and he was directly responsible for giving him Spence. Gibbs was the reason Tony had found love and had two of the best years of his life.

He reached out to touch Gibbs, his love for the man warming his entire body. He pulled back his hand before making contact. Knowing his touch might cause the inner marine sniper to strike out, Tony moved back. He had already sustained enough injuries to last for at least another three months.

'Better to let sleeping marines lie' he thought, smiling down at his friend.

As Tony reached to turn off the lamp, letting Gibbs sleep in the comfort of darkness, he thought back to one the most humiliating situations he had ever experienced. It was when he and Spence were just really getting to know each other. It was their fourth date……

~Flashback~

It was a Saturday and Spence had asked Tony to go to a Washington National’s game and then to dinner. Spence had picked Tony up from his apartment and drove the two of them to the game. They had a fantastic time…the National’s won and the restaurant Spence took him to later was phenomenal.

Leave it to Spence to remember Tony mentioned on their second date he wanted to try the new French Bistro, “Savoir Faire”, which had just opened at DuPont Circle. It was almost impossible to get a table there on a weeknight so you could forget it on the weekend.

But Spence got them in at 7pm on a busy Saturday night. Tony was very impressed although he was a bit concerned they were under dressed.

“Damn, Spence…if I had known we’d be coming here I wouldn’t have worn jeans!”

Spence had just furrowed his brows and shaking his head said “Don’t sweat it Tony. We’re here to eat and enjoy each other’s company. Let the D.C. suits gawk, I couldn’t give a crap.”

Tony laughed at that. He loved that Spence was so unpretentious. Tony knew he really couldn’t care less. Spence was comfortable in his own skin and comfortable to be with. He was gregarious and fun. He had a brilliant mind and his sense of humor was both charming and challenging. His wit kept Tony on his toes and his love and knowledge of movies were actually more extensive then Tony’s.

Tony DiNozzo knew he had met his match.

“Besides” Spence said “Those jeans are tight and they wear you very well. I am looking forward to seeing them discarded on my bedroom floor later, if you don’t think that is too forward.”

Tony had been sipping his water, looking around at the décor, as Spence had whispered that seductively.

Tony had to fight the spray of water that wanted to rush through his front teeth and up and out his nose.

He choked it down as Spence smiled innocently, casually picked up his menu and proceeded to peruse the extensive food selection.

Tony’s smile grew so wide his face almost hurt.

They had shared a chaste kiss on their first date.

The second date they had enjoyed making out like teenagers.

On the third they incorporated the actions from the previous date and added some heavy petting.

Tony was ready to see his jeans on Spence’s bedroom floor. 

Spence had selected the escargot to start and they each had a chateaubriand with petite pomme frites.

Spence agreed with the wine sommelier that the 2007 California Cabernet Sauvignon would be the perfect wine to go with their steak.

Tony had made a joke about a California wine being found in an authentic French Bistro but had to join the Sommelier in raised eyebrows when Spence explained:

“It makes perfect sense they would carry wine from California, Tony. The event of the Great Wine Blight in France in the 1900’s required grafting of vines from both European and American vineyards. California was thee place at the time to get those vines. Almost every bottle of wine from France now carries a little bit of the Golden State.”

The sommelier seemed impressed as he poured them each a glass.

Tony was really surprised at how truly sophisticated Spence was.

Tony smiled humbly and simply raised his glass in salute to the wonderful world of wine.

“Well then, cowabunga dude!” Tony said doing his best impersonation of Jeff Spicoli from” Fast Times at Ridgemont High”.

The two men tapped their glasses together and Spence laughed loudly at Tony’s impression.

When they made it back to Spence’s house Tony was buzzed. Spence had only had one glass of the delicious red wine leaving Tony to polish off the rest.

Not being the driver had its privileges.

It was the first time Tony had been to Spence’s home. He loved the small comfortable bungalow the minute Spence led him through the door.

It reminded Tony of Gibbs place.

As Spence threw a couple of logs in the fireplace and got the fire started, Tony looked around. Spence had an impressive collection of books, music and movies. There were several pictures of Spence and Gibbs on the top shelf of the bookcase. There were also photos of Spence with his two sons.

Spence had gone off to the kitchen and had come back with a bottle of water for Tony.

Tony thanked him as he opened the bottle and took a swig of the cold beverage, and then he asked:

“How long have you known Gibbs?”

Spence sat down on the couch and taking a drink of his own water said:

“A long time, Tony, my whole adult life really. Many people have come and gone over the years but Gibbs has been the one constant. He is simply the best friend I have ever had.”

Tony nodded in agreement and moved over to the couch to sit next to Spence when he heard Spence pat the leather material in invitation. Spence turned off the lamp next to the couch leaving them bathed only in firelight.

Tony was a bit startled that he was actually nervous.

Tony could never be considered virginal but Spence was a force unto himself.

Just like Gibbs.

'Strong, capable, self-assured, commanding and totally hot!' he thought

Spence was only an inch taller than Tony but the man’s presence made Tony feel small. Not inferior or less than, just that he would defer to Spence like he would to Gibbs. It might be their age difference. Tony figured both Spence and Gibbs had at least fifteen years on him.

Both men made him feel very safe. He knew that stemmed from his childhood and his inability to trust or count on his Father to protect him. Tony was not trying to find a father figure but he found it hard to trust many men.

“Great” Tony thought “I guess I’m the chick in all this.”

Spence laughed and said “Oh no Tony, you are all man.”

As Tony wondered if all marines were mind readers or if he had actually spoken his thought out loud, Spence reached over and took the bottle of water from Tony’s hand and placed it next to his on the coffee table. He then placed his hand gently behind Tony’s neck and squeezed. Tony turned towards Spence as Spence leaned in to kiss him.

Tony responded immediately allowing Spence to take control. When Spence felt Tony submit to him he ran with it. Spence’s tongue demanded entrance as he kissed Tony forcefully. Tony complied gladly as his lips parted allowing Spence access. Spence tasted like wine and Tony drank him in.

Spence explored Tony’s mouth as he moved his body, pushing Tony down underneath him on the couch. Spence was careful not to crush Tony beneath him. He was pleased as Tony moaned into his mouth as he lowered himself onto Tony, taking a dominate position.

Tony threw his arms around Spence and pulled him close. Exchanging hungry kisses like two men starving for each other. When they came up for air, Spence sat back on the couch and pulled Tony up and onto his lap.

“Straddle me” he demanded and Tony quickly complied.

As Spence leaned back, Tony placed his hand on either side of Spence’s head on the couch and leaned in taking Spence’s lips like a prize. He did not miss the look of surprise on Spence’s face as Tony took control.

Spence seemed happy to let Tony take it.

Tony kissed and licked and nipped at Spence’s throat. His hands roamed over Spence’s hard body working up and under Spence’s shirt. Spence moaned when Tony’s warm hand passed over his muscular stomach making its way up to pinch each nipple. Tony took his time and he paid close attention to what actions turned Spence on.

Tony could feel the older man’s erection growing beneath him as his own cock strained against the confines of the denim. Spence pulled Tony close and with his lips close to Tony’s ear he whispered “I want you Tony .I have wanted you since the moment we met. I want to taste you and then I want to fuck you. May I have you?”

The hot breath against his neck and the desire to be taken overwhelmed him.

He bucked against Spence and leaning down he whispered back, almost breathless:

“God Yes”

Spence flipped Tony to the side as he moved to sit in front of him on the coffee table. Spence placed his hands on Tony’s knees and spread his legs, slightly. He ran his hands up Tony’s thighs stopping just shy of his groin. He ran his hands back down and then placing his fingers under the outside of Tony’s knees he pulled Tony forward. As Tony’s body slid down the couch he couldn’t help but lick his lips. The anticipation of what was about to happen made him shiver.

Tony groaned as Spence slowly unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped his fly. In the firelight, Spence’s blue eyes were now glowing black with lust. Tony was almost panting as Spence slowly pealed the jeans from his body.

Spence gasped when he found Tony was going commando but then smiled wickedly as he pulled the denim down and Tony’s hard cock sprung up at attention.

Spence gazed from Tony’s hard cock up into Tony’s eyes.

“Beautiful….”Spence whispered appreciatively

Spence ran his palm up and down the hard shaft as it jerked up towards Tony’s stomach. Spence leaned in and inhaled the musky scent of Tony’s arousal. It was simply intoxicating.

Tony lay back into the soft leather his eyelids partially closed. He watched as Spence brought his cock forward to eager lips. Spence’s hand was warm and when his tongue fluttered along the head and then slowly licked around the circumference Tony almost shot his load right then and there.

His response was a guttural moan of ecstasy as he moved a hand to the top of Spence’s head. Tony ran his fingers through Spence’s hair and his palm gently caressed Spence’s face. Spence leaned into Tony’s touch as he took all of Tony deep into his throat.

Spence worked Tony into a sexual frenzy.

“Oh God…Spence…I am not going to last if you keep doing THAT!” Tony yelled.

His words only seemed to encourage Spence to continue. Tony closed his eyes and smiled. Spence was proving to be a master in the art of the fellatio.

Tony gave himself over to the pure pleasure of it all.

The warmth of the fire, the smell of leather, the feel of the room…his mind carried him away to fantasies past.

The stimulation was too much. He felt the familiar tingle at the base of his balls and then the forward rush as his orgasm exploded into the hot mouth sucking him to completion.

“JETHRO!”

Tony screamed as he rode out the waves of pleasure cascading throughout his body.

It took him a minute to realize all stimuli near his crotch had ceased.

In fact, he felt cold and wet and exposed.

Tony felt hands on his knees so he opened his eyes.

Spence looked debauched as he stared into Tony’s eyes. He cocked his head and said:

“Jethro?”

Tony’s brows furrowed as he looked at Spence not understanding what he meant.

When Tony realized what he had done he felt a volcanic rush of blood flush his cheeks.

He brought both hands up to his face to hide the shame and embarrassment. He wished he could just disappear. He could not believe he had just called out anothers name after receiving the best head he had ever recieved.

He stammered “Oh God, Spence, I am so sorry. I…I….oh Jesus….”

Tony stopped when he felt Spence take him by the wrists and pulled his hands away from his eyes.

Tony looked up sheepishly. He expected to see fury in Spence’s eyes and hear Spence demand that Tony

“Get the fuck out” and that he never wanted to see Tony again.

But Spence just smiled. His eyes contained a mischievous humor not the contempt Tony had expected.

Spence must have sensed Tony’s devastation because he said “Relax Tony. I know you have a thing for Gibbs.”

Tony just stared at Spence for a minute and finally finding his voice said “Uh, I um am not sure what….”

“Oh please! I saw the looks you gave him the night we were introduced. You have it bad but he is not interested. He is your boss.”

Tony sighed. Spence was right. He waited for Spence to tell him to leave so it came as a surprise when he heard Spence say:

“Lucky for me.”

Tony stared at Spence in confusion and disbelief.

Spence stood and held out his hand. When Tony grasped it Spence hauled him up. As Tony pulled up his pants, Spence leaned in to kiss Tony and said “I’d still like to see those jeans on my bedroom floor. Are you still game?”

“Yes” was all Tony could say.

“Fantastic!” Spence said enthusiastically as he held Tony by the hand and headed towards the stairs.

“Before the sun rises I will make sure you never scream Jethro’s name again.”

~End Flashback~

Spence had been right. He had replaced Jethro in Tony’s affection that night, but looking down at Jethro now, as he slept, Tony knew he still had it bad.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Bobdog54 because you made my day

Tony closed the bedroom door with care. He would let Gibbs sleep as long as he could.

He made his way down the stairs as dawn’s light began to fill the house. Every step was agony.

He looked around the room taking in the mess Metro had made while investigating the break in. They had torn up his house more than Hector Zegarra. Tony felt a chill run the length of his body. He knew it was due to the fact he had escaped a certain death at the hands of that loco gang leader and not that it was a very cold morning.

Tony turned on the fireplace and made his way to the kitchen. He started the coffee pot and sat carefully down at the kitchen table. He tried to remember what he had planned for the day. He held his head in one hand as he leaned against the table. He realized Steve was coming sometime that day. He needed to make sure he had his cell phone handy.

He listened to the drip, drip of the coffee pot as the rich aroma of it filled the room.

Tony vaguely remembered hearing Metro say they would post a protection detail for the night. Not knowing if officers were out there Tony realized he felt naked without a weapon.

Since his Sig had been stolen he got up and headed into Spence’s office. Spence had a gun safe with a variety of weapons he had collected over the years. When Tony opened the safe he just stood back and looked at them. Like most ex-military turned law enforcement, Spence was a gun enthusiast and a collector. Every gun in here had a story and Tony had heard every one.

He selected the nickel plated Smith & Wesson SW1911 hand gun and made sure it was loaded. Spence had carried this as his sidearm in Desert Storm. Tony knew this gun had saved Spence’s life on two occasions when he was trapped behind enemy lines in Kuwait.

Tony set the gun down on the desk, closed the safe and spun the safe’s dial. He had been groggy when he first woke up but he was wide awake now. He realized he could smell the cheap cologne Hector Zegarra left behind on his ripped sweatshirt. The scent, a cross between amber and patchouli, made him sick to his stomach.

He pulled the ripped Ohio State sweatshirt over his head and threw the remains of it into the waste bin next to the desk. He liked the scent of amber but now thought whenever he smelled it he would always think about “Reaper”.

Tony could only guess how the bastard got that name.

“And that fricking scar…” he thought heading over to the office closet.

This closet was only used by Spence, so when Tony opened it, the strong musky scent that was all Spence hit him like a bolt of lightning.

Tony stood for a moment and just inhaled the musty air. Wanting to keep the scent alive in the closet for as long as he could, he grabbed Spence’s cardigan and quickly closed the door.

The sweater was actually too big for Tony but it didn’t matter, Tony knew Spence loved the sweater. It smelled like him and Tony was happy to wrap it around himself.

It was Spence’s “Starsky and Hutch” sweater. That had been Spence’s favorite show in the 70’s. Spence told Tony he had coveted the “Dave Starsky” sweater and when he found it, he threatened Linda to buy the red 1975 Ford Torino to go with it. Tony had laughed at the story telling Spence he would love to have Thomas Magnum’s cool mustache and the red Ferrari 308 GTS.

Spence cringed at the idea of Tony having that mustache but he agreed the Ferrari would be cool.

When they were first dating, Spence and Tony had spent many weekends having marathons of Magnum P.I. and Starsky & Hutch. Each of them learned to love the others favorite show.

Tony wanted to do something really great for Spence for their second anniversary. He had begun an internet search trying to find the red Ford Torino Spence had so desperately wanted. Tony had been sad when Spence admitted he had actually found the car and when he wanted to buy it, Linda had a fit so he relented and let it go.

When he was finally free of her, he had looked again but never found another one.

Tony had started his search in earnest just a few weeks ago. He actually had a great lead to one out in California but it didn’t matter now. A 1975 red Ford Torino was just another thing Spence would never have.

Tony picked up the gun from the desk as he walked back to the kitchen.

He poured himself a cup of coffee adding his hazelnut creamer along with a couple of spoons of sugar.

Coffee in hand, phone in one sweater pocket and the gun in the other he stepped out onto the back porch and sat down on the steps facing the vegetable garden. He sipped at his coffee letting the liquid warm him from within.

Tony took in every inch of the back yard. He had so many memories he wanted to sort and store away in his mind. He had a very strong feeling he and this house would soon be parting company.

He set the coffee cup down and crossing his arms, he placed them on his knees and lowering his head to rest on his arms, he wept.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs stirred as the smell of coffee wafted in the air.

The seductive aroma teased his senses as he opened his eyes.

He knew he was alone in the room as he got up and stretched. His back cracked and his neck popped as he tried to get comfortable after sleeping fully clothed in an awkward position. His go bag was in the car so he would need that before taking a shower. He picked up his phone and noted the time. It was almost an hour past his alarm setting. Tony had let him sleep. He appreciated the thought. It also made him happy to know that Tony was up and moving, the worry of his concussion lessening.

Gibbs used the bathroom and splashed water on his face.

He put his shoes on and made his way downstairs.

The house was very quiet. Tony was not in the living room and he was not in the office.

“Tony?” Gibbs called for him but there was no response.

He helped himself to a cup of coffee and as he glanced out the window over the sink he noticed Tony sitting on the stairs. Gibbs grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. He topped off his coffee mug and went to the back door.

He opened it softly and heard the sound of Tony’s grief.

Gibbs considered closing the door and allowing Tony the alone time to grieve but Gibbs gut flared warning him not to ignore the moment.

The moment was one of grief, shared between two people who loved the same person with all their heart.

Gibbs joined Tony on the stairs. He sat next to him and placed his arm over Tony’s shaking shoulders.

Tony did not look up. He simply allowed himself to be hugged into Gibbs body as he heard Gibbs say:

“He loved you so much Tony, never doubt that. Whatever happens from this day forward know I am here for you. I promised Spence I would watch out for you. He would expect nothing less from me. I loved him and, God….” Gibbs hesitated, trying not to break down.

He pulled it together as best he could as he whispered “I will miss him so very much.”

Tony felt Gibbs press his lips tenderly against his temple and pull him closer.

Gibbs verbal declaration and the physical intimacy he shared with Tony healed something deep within.

Tony knew he could make it. It would not be an easy road but he was not alone in the journey.


	22. Chapter 22

Their shared moment of grief was broken when Tony’s phone rang.

He debated answering it, feeling protected and comforted, tucked into Gibbs side.

As Gibbs moved to give Tony room to answer, Tony raised his head looking Gibbs in the eyes.

Gibbs was stoic but Tony could see the unshed tears in those blue eyes.

He smiled at Gibbs as he wiped at his own eyes, any thought of embarrassment was long gone.

They had shared a moment and Tony would be forever grateful for it.

Gibbs never ceased to amaze him.

As he pulled his phone out of the sweater pocket, but before he raised it to his ear, he softly stated:

“Thank you, Jethro.”

Gibbs simply nodded as he stood. He gave Tony’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, picked up his coffee mug and headed inside for a refill.

As he entered the house he could hear Tony saying:

“Hey Steve…...”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After completing his call, Tony entered the house finding the kitchen empty. He could see Gibbs had refilled his mug as it sat alone simply steaming on the kitchen counter. Gibbs had also started a new pot.

Tony was about to call out to him when Gibbs entered through the front door with his go bag.

“I took out a couple of mugs of coffee to the Metro officers.” Gibbs stated as he dropped his bag on a kitchen chair and picking up his mug took a large swig of the steaming beverage.

“I wondered if they were out there...couldn’t remember if I heard right last night.” Tony replied as he lowered himself into a chair. He hissed at the pain it caused just to sit down.

As Tony reached to take a sip of his coffee he noticed Gibbs was just staring at him. The look in Gibbs eyes were one of concern and sympathy and something else Tony wasn’t sure he could identify.

He suddenly felt nervous.

He looked away and asked “What?”

Gibbs remained quiet until Tony looked back at him.

“Are you alright Tony?” Gibbs asked tenderly.

Gibbs noted Tony’s discomfort so he added gruffly “And don’t you dare say “fine”, DiNozzo!”

That made Tony relax and smile as he replied “Sore Boss, I am very sore….but I will be fine. Thanks for asking and thanks for saving my ass last night…..and making sure I wasn’t alone.”

Before Gibbs could respond to Tony’s sincere appreciation, Tony changed the subject.

“Were you planning on going to work this morning? I hoped you could stay and let me cook you some breakfast. My friend Steve should be here in less than an hour. Would love for you to meet him. He just flew in on the red eye from Ohio.”

“Steve Adler? Your frat brother?” Gibbs asked taking a sip of coffee.

“Yep….and lawyer.”

Gibbs wanted to ask Tony more about Steve flying all that way to represent him, but since Tony didn’t volunteer additional information, Gibbs figured it was none of his business.

“I left a message for the Director I would be coming in later so breakfast would be great. What do you have in mind?” Gibbs asked

“I figured I’d get some vegetables from the garden and whip up a Spencer-DiNozzo specialty…veggie frittata with bacon and cheese.”

“Hell, yeah!” Gibbs replied enthusiastically and with perfect timing his stomach growled loudly.

Tony and Gibbs both looked surprised at the sound but then simultaneously laughed.

“Well, I better get started on that breakfast….should be done in about 40 minutes boss...wanna take a shower while I get it ready?” Tony asked as he struggled up out of the chair.

Gibbs stood quickly to help him but Tony just waved him away.

Gibbs grabbed his bag and headed upstairs as Tony grabbed a basket and headed outside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Before Gibbs started his morning routine he looked out the bedroom window making sure Tony was doing okay in the back yard. He watched Tony moving carefully picking various items for their breakfast.

Gibbs knew his SFA was hurting but he knew Tony would ultimately be okay. Gibbs just had to make sure Hector Zegarra didn’t get another chance at him. As long as he could keep Tony in site and be on his six, Gibbs was certain he could keep Tony safe.

He knew DiNozzo was a capable Agent but Gibbs could not help being protective. He also knew deep down he had to fight the creeping feelings of possessiveness that wanted to rear its ugly head.

Satisfied Tony was okay, he started the shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spence had been one hell of a cook.

Tony’s thoughts were filled with the wonderful meals Spence had made for him, had taught him to make. Tony was not a novice in the kitchen. He had schooled Spence in the ways to make the perfect marinara that any Italian grandmother would be proud of.

Tony smiled as he picked a tomato and brought it to his nose.

“There is nothing like a tomato out of your own garden, Tone. Smell it! You don’t get that from a grocery store!”

Tony placed the tomato in the basket along with the green onions, cilantro and zucchini he had picked and headed back to the house.

He rinsed the vegetables and set them aside to dry. He pulled out the items he needed from the fridge and selected the pan he would use. He set the oven temperature and while it was heating up, he chopped up vegetables, beat eggs, shredded cheese and crumbled bacon.

He did this all in silence. If Spence were with him they would either have the TV on or music. Spence loved to dance around when he cooked. Tony stopped for a moment and closed his eyes remembering the last time they had cooked together. It had only been a few days ago but to Tony it seemed like a lifetime.

“Let me introduce you to some real southern cookin’, Yankee!” Spence had said with an exaggerated drawl.

Tony laughed and said in his best New York accent:

“Who in da’ hell ya callin’ a Yankee! I’m from Lon-ga eye-land, not Maine, ya jerk!”

“You were born north of the Mason-Dixon Line so watch and learn!”

Tony crossed his arms and tried to act pissed but Spence had put on some country music and was two stepping around the kitchen which only made Tony laugh.

Spence was dancing as he prepared some fried green tomatoes.

They had watched the movie by the same name the night before and when Tony said he had never eaten a fried green tomato Spence was appalled.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

“Not kidding Spence…didn’t even think you could eat a green tomato!”

“Good God Man! We must remedy this gastronomical injustice!”

Tony had to admit the fried green tomatoes were pretty damn good.

He felt his face get hot as he remembered the incredible sex they had later that night.

Tony had not wanted to see a “chick flick” but had deferred to Spence when he insisted Tony watch “Fried Green Tomatoes” with him. He had complained that if there was nothing being blown up or no Chuck Norris type fight scenes he wasn’t interested. He had been surprised at how much he liked the movie.

One line stood out at the moment:

Jessica Tandy as, Idgie Threadgoode, had said

“A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same.”

Tony sighed. He could not argue with that.

Tony placed the pan in the oven and set the timer. He could still hear the shower running upstairs

He busied himself cleaning up the areas of the house where metro had lifted fingerprints. They had used a variety of aluminum dust and powder in various tints. Tony had to apply some extra elbow grease to remove all the white powder that was on the piano.

The drops of his blood on the ivory keys were going to be harder to remove.

The doorbell rang as Tony heard the shower shut off.

He chuckled to himself as he looked out the front door peep hole seeing Steve being manhandled by Metro.

He opened the door as Steve yelled “You have no right to search me!”

“He’s my lawyer, fellas” Tony said as the cops released Steve with apology.

Tony noticed the officers were two of Spence’s friends-Chip Carter and James Benton.

Steve’s face changed from indignant, to smiling, to a look of horror as he took in Tony’s appearance.

Before Steve could comment, Tony invited Chip and James to join them for breakfast.

They agreed to come in when Tony let them know he was ready to serve.

As Tony pulled Steve inside and closed the door he said “thanks for coming, Bro.”

Steve just stared at Tony, a look of disbelief on his face. He took in the stitched forehead and the bruised neck and shaking his head finally spoke:

“What in the hell happened to you Tony!?”

“A bit of a scrape is all…..you should see the other guy.” Tony joked

“That would be other GUYS, DiNozzo.” Gibbs said as he joined them.

“Long story…” Tony sighed then said “Steve…meet my boss, Leroy Jethro…”

“Gibbs!” Steve completed the introductions shaking Gibbs hand vigorously.

“It is nice to finally meet you Gibbs. Tony has told me so much about you. Between Tony and Spence I feel like I know you really well!”

Gibbs was pleased to meet Steve but felt a bit of jealousy that Steve had seemed to spend a lot of time with Spence. He was also hurt he was just meeting someone that was obviously very important to Tony for the first time. He had only himself to blame. He again wondered if he had not turned Tony’s advances down how life would be for them.

As Gibbs and Steve spoke, Tony appraised his boss.

Gibbs was wearing jeans that fit his body like a glove.

His hair appeared dark grey as it was still damp.

His light blue polo shirt made his eyes pop in a sparkling brilliance that Tony could get lost in.

If Tony was asked to describe Gibbs with one word he would have to say “Delicious”.

Tony shook his head trying to clear those thoughts from his mind.

“What in the hell, DiNozzo!” he admonished himself thinking of Spence.

He felt guilt begin to dig under his skin even thinking about another when the love of his life had just been taken from him.

Suddenly, he had a vision of Spence in his mind. Spence was standing in his garden surrounded by beautiful flowers. He looked young and healthy and he just radiated…… love. It was love that Tony felt run through him. That and a warmth that actually made him shudder.

Spence smiled and gave Tony a thumbs up.

Tony smiled at that as the vision and the guilt faded from his mind.

It was never a secret that Spence knew how Tony felt about Gibbs. Spence had fought and won Tony-heart, body and soul. Tony felt secure knowing he had given his all to Spence.

Watching Gibbs now, Tony came to the realization he would not feel bad for loving Gibbs.

He knew nothing would ever come of it but he would not deny it to himself.

He had been blessed to have two glorious years with a person who loved and treasured him and made him very happy.

He knew it was more than most people ever had in a lifetime.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a great week everybody....thanks again for spending time reading my story. Editing and posting off of FF.net was a great idea to get back into this story as I am committed to complete it. Ciao until next time reading peeps!

“Hell-oh….Earth to Tony!?”

“Huh?” Tony was startled at Steve’s voice and his hand waving inches from his face.

Tony looked at Steve and said “Sorry, what?”

Steve laughed and said “Where did you go, bro? You looked a million miles away!”

“Um…”

Before Tony could fully respond to Steve, he noticed Gibbs staring at him. It was then it dawned on Tony that Gibbs must have noticed him drinking in his appearance. Tony felt his face begin to flush. He knew he had been caught. There was no way Gibbs missed the desire that had been written all over Tony’s face.

Gibbs missed nothing.

SHIT! Tony thought as he looked back at Steve.

“Sorry…it’s been a couple of stressful days.” Tony said stepping up and hugging Steve tightly.

“Thanks for being here Steve.”

Steve returned the hug saying “I’m glad to be here, buddy.”

The friends pulled apart and Tony said “Here, let me take your bag up to the guest room. Why don’t you get yourself a cup of coffee and visit with Gibbs? Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.”

Tony had just reached for the bag when he felt Gibbs hand cover his own on the bag handle. Gibbs hand was warm and as he moved closer into Tony’s personal space, Tony panicked and pulled his hand away suddenly. He tried to hide his embarrassment but Gibbs appeared unfazed as he said:

“I can take this up for you, Tony. Why don’t you and Steve relax and visit? I’ll be right back.”

“Uh, thanks boss” Tony said without looking at Gibbs.

Gibbs smiled at Steve as the man stood looking confused, glancing between Gibbs and Tony. He wondered what was going on between the two men. There was an obvious tension between them although not in a bad way.

Steve decided to not analyze too much. He was tired and could use the caffeine.

“Thanks Gibbs…coffee sounds great!”

Steve walked toward the kitchen with Tony on his heels.

Gibbs carried the luggage up the stairs with a feeling of walking on air.

Tony was still interested.

He saw it in his eyes and the look he had as he scanned Gibbs body was pure carnal lust.

Gibbs knew Tony would never act on his feelings. The ball was firmly in Gibbs court.

Tony would never defile Spence’s memory and neither would Gibbs.

An appropriate mourning period was expected and would be honored.

As Gibbs walked down the stairs he began to formulate a long term plan.

He chuckled to himself as he mentally called it “Operation: Woo DiNozzo”.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had called Chip and James in to join them for breakfast. The five men devoured the frittata as Chip and James shared stories about Spence.

“Wait!” Tony laughed “I have NEVER heard this story….you have to elaborate!”

Chip was happy to regale them.

“Well, Spence and I were the first uniforms to arrive at the address. Wrong address and a total fluke…the 20 ladies in attendance were expecting a stripper and Spence…well you know how Spence was when there was an opportunity to dance, Tony…..he just went with it. Bastard walked away with a $150 bucks…in dollar bills!”

“But he didn’t get to keep it!” James added “When the Captain found out he forced Spence to donate every cent to charity!”

Chip laughed and said, imitating the deep, gruff voice of their superior “Spencer! You are a disgrace to the uniform!”

Laughter filled the room.

“Well, it was only a month later the Captain’s wife made him ask Spence if he was available to strip at their daughter’s bachelorette party. Seems Spence’s reputation as an uninhibited dancing man proceeded him!”

“He didn’t do it, did he?” Gibbs asked with a raised brow.

“Nope…..” James said “Joe said he wanted too but Linda said absolutely not.”

James hesitated and then added “I never knew what he saw in that, that….woman.”

Tony sat back as reality set in.

The camaraderie and the laughter had washed away the pain and the fear and the loss, at least for a little while.

With the mention of Linda the magic of the moment was over.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony walked Chip and James to the front door as Gibbs and Steve worked side by side cleaning up the kitchen.

“Hey guys…thank you again for having my back last night.” Tony did not know these men very well but he knew they were protecting him for Spence and he was humbled by that. Gibbs had told him that they had volunteered to do it which meant they did it without sleep and no pay. Tony hoped to repay them somehow, someday…a hot breakfast didn’t seem fitting enough.

James waved as he got in his car and started the engine.

“Would you like us back tonight?” Chip asked before he got into his car.

They watched as James drove away.

“Awe, thanks Chip, but no…you both have done enough. I’ll be okay. Steve will be here and with Spence’s collection we’re armed to the teeth!”

Chip laughed but there was a deep sadness in his eyes “We loved Spence, too, Tony.”

He then leaned against his car door. Chip looked like he wanted to say something but was debating if he should. He chose to speak:

“Spence talked about you constantly…I was always a little jealous of you.”

Tony looked shocked so Chip quickly said “I’m not gay, Tony…I didn’t want Spence but he loved you so much… I have always wanted to know that kind of love. You were both very lucky and I am so sorry he was taken from you, from us.”

Tony swallowed hard.

He was touched that a big burly cop….Chip was at least six three and was probably 300 pounds of pure muscle…was softly speaking of love.

Tony was at a loss for words so he simply nodded as Chip got in his car and drove away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Do they have any word on this Hector Zegarra?” Steve asked after Gibbs gave him a condensed version of what had happened the night before.

“They have a bolo out. I’ll know more when I get to the office. He can hide but we’ll find him.” Gibbs said with determination.

The men were quiet for a few minutes as they put the kitchen back in order.

“Steve?” Gibbs asked “Will you keep a close eye on Tony for me? Give me a call if you think he needs anything?”

“Of course...Gibbs.” Steve said.

He wanted to ask more but at that moment Tony returned to the kitchen.

“Wow…thanks for cleaning you guys!”

“Thanks for breakfast!” Gibbs said warmly.

Tony gulped and said “It was my pleasure.”

Gibbs placed the dish cloth he was holding back on the kitchen counter. He then drank down his cup of coffee and placed the empty mug in the dishwasher.

“I need to get to the office…check on the bolo and report to IA about the loss of your Sig.”

Gibbs turned to Steve and said “Good meeting you Steve. See you later tonight.”

Steve shook Gibbs hand and said “Looking forward to it Gibbs.”

Gibbs grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. Tony followed him leaving Steve in the kitchen.

“Later tonight?” Tony asked as Gibbs stepped out on the front porch.

“Well yeah Tony….I know Steve is here but I figured I’d come back so you don’t have to be alone.”

“But I won’t be alone…Steve will be here…and…..”

It then dawned on Tony what Gibbs was implying, what he was offering.

Gibbs would stay with him to make sure he could sleep peacefully in his own bed.

A shy smile blossomed across Tony’s face as he said softly:

“See you tonight…Jethro.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so I guess I am still on a roll. This chapter happens to be a personal favorite of mine...hope you enjoy it too.

Twenty minutes later, Gibbs walked into the bullpen with his ever present cup of coffee.

He found Kate and McGee going over information on the plasma near Tony’s desk.

He took a long drink as he stood behind them, listening to their exchange.

Kate noticed him first.

“Gibbs! When did you get here?”

“Just arrived”

“How’s Tony?” McGee and Kate asked in unison.

“He’s taking care of business…what have you got?” He nodded at the screen as he took another sip of his coffee.

Kate frowned. She would call Tony herself as soon as she could.

McGee looked from Gibbs to Kate. Kate seemed miffed at Gibbs as she remained silent.

McGee figured he’d start. He clicked the remote which took him back a photo. It captured the overview of their crime scene two days earlier.

“Boss, Balboa asked me to run a search on similar murders. We found there have been three others with the same M.O. over the past five years. Since our crime scene is the first involving navy personnel this is the first we’ve seen of it.”

“The scenes were very similar. Two victims, gutted like animals, their internal organs were then scattered around the room. The weapon used to disembowel them was some form of sword or a sickle or scythe. The rest were executed with a bullet to the head. A different gun was used each time.”

Kate jumped in at that moment “These other murders were in Metro’s jurisdiction. We talked to the officers and Detective’s involved and they all confirmed that it was gang related but none of the killings were ever solved. They had a lot of leads but just couldn’t get enough evidence to arrest and convict.”

Gibbs looked pissed as he said “Do they have any idea which gang or gangs may be involved?”

McGee shook his head in the affirmative as he clicked to a new photo.

“Los Muretos MC…the gang leader is Hect…..”

“Hector Zegarra.” Gibbs finished for him, and then added “AKA The Reaper.”

Kate and McGee looked at each other in shock as Kate muttered to herself:

“A reaper is known to use a scythe.”

Gibbs looked troubled as McGee asked:

“How do you know him Boss?”

Gibbs sighed as he crumpled his empty cup. This situation had just become more complicated.

Gibbs thought of Tony and his run in last night with Hector Zegarra. It was bad enough that Tony had been attacked by that bastard Zegarra but to find out now how many deaths he may be responsible for made Gibbs cringe.

“Let’s go for coffee. I’ll fill you both in on the way.

Gibbs tossed his cup in Tony’s waste bin before he headed for the elevator, his curious Agents at his side.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The three Agents received their coffee orders and found a table in the back of the coffee shop

As Gibbs sat with McGee and Kate explaining the events of last night, Tony was relaying the same story to Steve back at his home.

“Jesus Tony! Gibbs sure gave me a watered down version! Do you think Zegarra will come back?” Steve sounded nervous and when he looked around the room, Tony felt guilty.

“I doubt it but hey, if it makes you nervous, bro, let me get you a hotel room.”

Steve was quiet for a minute and said “Nah…I want to stay.”

Tony smiled and asked “Would you like a gun?”

Steve laughed “I would love a gun!”

Tony motioned for Steve to follow him. They entered Spence’s office and Tony opened the gun safe.

“WOW…”Steve said taking in the various weapons.

“Can I?” He asked Tony as he pointed at the open safe.

“Help yourself.” Tony said as he stood back giving Steve complete access.

Steve’s eyes scanned over the large cache of firearms.

Whistling with surprise, He pulled out a rifle just to admire it.

Steve turned the rifle over and checked it at various angles.

“Is this an authentic Winchester?” he asked

“Yep…Spence bought it at a “Gun Show of the West” last year. It is an 1866 Winchester “Yellow boy” lever action rifle. He paid a small fortune for it.”

“It’s a beauty!” Steve said somewhat in awe, as he handed it back to Tony.

Tony chuckled and said “Spence was so excited to find it he was like Ralphie from “A Christmas Story” getting his Red Ryder BB gun.”

Tony placed the rifle back in the safe as Steve pulled out a Glock 19 handgun and got a feel for it in his hand. Satisfied, he handed it to Tony and said:

“I’ll take this one.”

“You have chosen wisely.” Tony joked as he made sure the handgun was fully loaded and then he set it on the desk. He closed the safe and turned back to Steve.

“Do you feel like getting started?” He asked Steve as he pointed to a stack of files on the desk.

Steve moved behind the desk and sitting down, agreed “Might as well.”

He pulled the stack of papers towards him.

Tony positioned the gun to Steve’s right for easy access.

“I’ll go put on another pot of coffee, Bro…be right back.”

Tony returned a few minutes later with a mug of coffee fixed the way he knew Steve liked it-black with 2 teaspoons of sugar.

Steve had retrieved his laptop and Tony noticed he was reading something from an online law library.

Tony set the coffee next to the gun and then took a seat across from him.

Steve looked up and said:

“Thanks Tony….so tell me exactly what is it you want me to help you with?”

Tony explained what had transpired at the Spencer estate and told Steve what he had found in the paperwork. He also shared that he had a feeling he would need to move soon.

“Steve…I don’t give a shit about the money or the house, not really, there are a few items of Spence’s I would like to keep as well as things we received or bought together. I also want to be able to honor Spence by having a funeral. I want to see if there is anything in the law that would override Linda’s authority regarding his burial. I am hoping there may be something under Domestic Partnership law or….I don’t know….that’s why I called you in!”

Steve recognized his friend was depressed and frustrated. He hoped he could work it out for him.

“I’m going to go over what I can and then I’ll have some questions for you. Give me an hour or two…will that be okay?” Steve asked

“Whatever you need…you’re doing me a favor bud.”

Steve took a sip of his coffee and got back to work.

Tony looked at his friend. He was always amazed at Steve’s level of focus and concentration. Steve had been the same way when they were in college.

Tony looked at the gun Steve had selected and made a decision. He knew Steve had handled guns before but Steve had never killed anyone. He didn’t want his friend to have to worry about the possibility he may have too. Tony also worried if Steve was faced with the situation, would he hesitate in pulling the trigger? That could cost Steve his life and Tony couldn’t live with that.

He couldn’t take that chance.

He went out to the living room and powered up his lap top. He Goggled “home alarm companies D.C.” and thought about Spence.

Spence had never wanted to have a home alarm system. He felt they had enough security with a safe full of firearms and years of experience between them to defend their home. Tony shuddered, thinking about how long “The Reaper” had lain in wait for him. Tony wondered if he was already in the house when he got home. If they had had an alarm perhaps last night would not have happened. Maybe Zegarra would have not even tried.

Tony knew an alarm system was only a deterrence. If someone wanted to get to you they would.

He wanted Steve to have some peace of mind and give them a little edge in case that loco bastard tried again.

He spent the next hour researching different home security companies. He was drawn to one in particular because of their mascot. The company was called “Protect Your Nest”. The mascot was a blue bird in a nest. Basic enough but this blue bird was very different.

Tony smirked as he thought how the bird was drawn to look like John Belushi’s character, Captain Wild Bill Kelso, in the movie 1941. The advertisers even added a stubbed cigar hanging from the little bird’s beak. A scarf, flight helmet and machine gun rounded out the image. Tony was sold.

'Just another victim to clever advertising' he thought, as he picked up the phone and dialed 555-NEST.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate and McGee had both paled when Gibbs explained how violent Hector Zegarra was. Gibbs had told them everything he had heard including Zegarra’s threat to sodomize Tony and kill him. “Do you think Tony is still in danger?” McGee asked as the three of them walked back to NCIS headquarters.

“As long as Zegarra is on the loose I think so. This guy is bent on hurting people close to Spence and Joe Alvarez.”

Gibbs phone rang.

“Yeah, Gibbs”

McGee and Kate watched as their boss listened to the caller. His expression remained neutral.

After a few “uh-huhs” and a “thanks” Gibbs abruptly hung up.

“That was Metro. They found Zegarra’s van but no sign of Zegarra. They pulled in a lot of his fellow gang members but no one is talking.” Gibbs said as he silently wished he could have had a crack at interrogating some of them.

Back in the bullpen, McGee and Kate continued working on their joint case with Balboa, as Gibbs met with the Internal Affairs representative. Gibbs was not pleased that it took almost two hours to file the report regarding Tony’s stolen sig.

Gibbs then met with Director Morrow and briefed him on the current situation. Morrow granted him a few days off rotation since his team was still working with Balboa. Morrow understood Gibbs and knew his best Agent would be working independently to try and get these murders solved.

Gibbs returned to the bullpen to let Kate and McGee know what he would be doing for the next few days. He advised them to keep him informed as he headed towards the elevator. He needed to see Ducky and Abby before he headed out.

He was pleased to find both of them together in autopsy.

“Jethro!”

“Hey Gibbs!”

Gibbs nodded at their greeting and said “I’m glad you two are here together, saves me a trip.”

Gibbs was conveying all the information he had regarding the other murders and the possible tie to Hector Zegarra when he got a call.

Ducky and Abby glanced at each other as they watched Gibbs face go from neutral to furious.

“I’d like my M.E. to be kept in the loop! Yes, his name is Doctor Mallard and he will be contacting you in the next 24 hours.”

When Gibbs snapped his phone shut Ducky asked “What is it, Jethro?”

“That was Metro. They just pulled the C.I. that worked with Joe and Spence out of the Potomac. He was the one who let Metro know Zegarra was seeking revenge against Joe and Spence. The C.I.’s throat has been slit from ear to ear.”

Abby and Ducky looked horrified as Ducky said:

“Oh my.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The “Protect Your Nest” sales person who answered the phone was extremely helpful. Tony was very impressed. Together they worked out the perfect system and negotiated a good price in less than an hour. The best part was they could have a contractor out that afternoon and have everything installed in a few hours.

Now he just had to wait.

Tony checked on Steve’s progress.

Steve was busy reading and interpreting what he read along with referencing the online law library.

He was so pre-occupied he didn’t even realize Tony was watching him. Steve was chewing on his pencil between taking notes and looking at the computer screen.

“How about some lunch, bud?” Tony inquired

Steve was startled but recovered quickly.

“I could eat!”

“So I see.”

Steve furrowed his brow and then looked at the pencil in his hand. It looked like a beaver gnawed on it. He set it down and looked sheepishly at Tony asking:

“What do you have in mind?”

“How about Chinese?” Tony said with amusement in his voice.

“Sound great!”

“I’ll call it in. Everything going ok?”

Steve stood and stretched. Tony could tell his friend was tired.

“I don’t know much about Domestic partnerships so reading law and statutes are consuming most of my time but I’m still digging. Did you and Spence have anything in writing outlining a domestic partnership? I didn’t see anything in the files I looked through?”

The smile fell from Tony’s face as he looked down to the floor. Steve could see Tony looked defeated.

“No, we have nothing in writing Steve. I’m sorry…this whole thing is probably a waste of your time.”

“You throwing in the towel already, DiNozzo?” Steve asked curtly but without anger.

Tony looked up into his friends face as Steve added “Or are you giving up on my abilities to “shyster” my way to a sound conclusion?”

Tony laughed loudly at Steve’s reference to his own frat nickname. Tony had christened him “Shyster” the day they met when Steve disclosed he was a pre-law major.

“Hell no, I’m not giving up! You need to get back to it then…“ Tony waved Steve playfully back towards the desk.

“I’ll call in the grub and bring you some lunch when it gets here! Oh, I have a contractor coming over in a hour or so….gonna install a home alarm system….wanna make sure my shyster lawyer has no opportunity to sue if he can’t get a decent night’s sleep!”

Steve snorted as he sat back down at the desk. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out some headphones. He plugged them into the laptop and selected his playlist.

Tony smiled as he heard the beginning of some Elvis Costello song emanating from the headphones right before Steve put them on. Steve then dismissed him with rude gesture of his hand.

Steve could not hear Tony’s hearty laughter as it trailed behind him into the next room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Steve was still deeply involved with his research when Tony set down two small cartons of Chinese food, a set of chopsticks, some napkins, soy sauce, a fortune cookie and a cold bottle of water 45 minutes later.

Steve gave Tony a thumbs up for “thanks” right before Tony left the room.

Tony had just sat down on the couch to eat his food when his doorbell rang. Unexpectedly, the contractors from “Protect My Nest” were early. Tony spent about 30 minutes going over what he wanted and giving the men a brief tour of the house. As they got to work Tony picked up his now cold Chinese food and headed into the kitchen.

The microwave dinged at the same time the doorbell chimed.

“Shit!” Tony thought to himself as he headed for the door.

“Will I get a chance to eat today?” he wondered as he looked through the peep hole and saw a man he did not recognize. The man was in a rumpled suit, heavy set with a horrible comb over and he looked put out. Tony could see the company truck for “Protect Your Nest” in his driveway. The image of that bad ass bluebird covered the whole side of the truck.

Tony was unable to see past the man to verify what he may be driving.

Since he wasn’t Hector Zegarra and Tony had a gun nestled in his sweater pocket, he opened the door.

“May I help you?” Tony asked the man.

The man said nothing just handed Tony his card.

It read:

“Walter “Wally” Marvin, Esquire”

Tony looked up into the man’s eyes trying not to laugh.

“Esquire?” he asked as the man cleared his throat and stepped to the side.

Tony lost his smile. He would have lost his lunch if he had eaten it.

Linda stood there with her hand on one hip, while her other hand pointed to the company truck.

Her sunglasses covered her eyes but Tony could see her lips were pursed and her face looked pinched as she screamed at him:

“WHAT IN FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MYYYYYYYYYY HOUSE ASSHOLE?!”


	25. Chapter 25

Tony was so stunned he didn’t know what to do, so he just stood there looking at her.

His inaction infuriated her.

She shoved her sunglasses to the top of her head and placed the hand that was pointing toward the truck on her hip.

“I asked you a fucking question…I….” she stopped screaming and just stared back at Tony. She looked him up and down, taking in his bruised neck and face, the cut over his eyebrow and began to laugh.

“Holy shit!” She exclaimed, delight in her voice.

“Is that what Dixon and Carver did to you! HA! Not so pretty now are ya!?”

Her smile was wide and her obvious joy at his physical pain and her blatant disregard for his time of grief, stirred his suppressed anger.

Tony watched Wally roll his eyes and as he began to speak, Tony cut him off.

“Fuck You, Linda.”

He said it without heat but the door he slammed in her face was done with force.

Tony leaned back against the door, closed his eyes and felt a satisfied smile begin to tug at the corner of his mouth. When she began to pound on the door, screaming obscenities, he moved away from it and headed towards the office. He needed his lawyer and he needed a friend.

She was persistent and Tony was amused at her arsenal of verbal insults. He would have been impressed if they weren’t all directed at him. He heard the lawyer pleading with her, asking her to calm down.

“Then DO something Wally! What the fuck am I paying you for?!” She yelled, now sounding muffled as Tony got further away from the door.

Tony heard Wally saying “Mr. DiNozzo! Mr. DiNozzo...please…open this door….we have something….”

Finally out of earshot, Tony stood in the doorway of the office. Steve was still busy researching but his head was bopping along to some song only he could hear. He must have felt someone watching him. He looked up and seeing the look on Tony’s face he ripped his headphones off and stood up, quickly moving to meet his distressed friend.

“What’s happened Tony?” he asked

Steve’s concern and the fact he was there on Tony’s behalf comforted him.

Tony smirked at the hell that had become his life and said:

“The devil’s at my doorstep…..”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony gave Steve as much information as he could during the short walk back to the front door.

Linda had not given up. She seemed to be channeling a banshee.

The two contractors from “Protect Your Nest” were sitting at the kitchen table. They appeared stunned and unsure what to do.

“We’re almost done Mr. DiNozzo but we need to go over the system with you and we didn’t want to open the front door.” One of them said sheepishly.

“Thanks…can you guys give me a few minutes? Care to take a cup of coffee and step out into the back yard?” Tony asked

Skipping the coffee, the men made a bee line to the back door.

Tony took a deep breath and turning towards Steve said “You think you can keep the she-wolf at bay?”

Steve smiled and directed Tony to take a seat on the piano bench, facing the front door.

Tony watched Steve run a hand through his hair and tuck in his button down shirt.

Smiling at Tony he said “I suggest you remain quiet and let me do the talking.”

Tony smiled and pantomimed zipping his lip. He sat back to watch the fur fly.

Steve grabbed the door handle and just before he turned it, he looked at Tony and with a mischievous glint in his eye whispered:

“Showtime!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Steve whipped the door open yelling “WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”

Tony almost giggled seeing the surprise on Wally and Linda’s faces.

Wally remained stunned but Linda’s recovery was instant.

She scrunched her face and demanded of Steve, “Who the fuck are you!?”

“I am Special Agent DiNozzo’s attorney…” Steve stated with authority.

Wallace Marvin visibly cringed and said “Agent DiNozzo?”

“Yes! As in FEDERAL Agent DiNozzo!” Steve responded

Tony loved the exchange. He wished he could see Steve’s face. Tony had seen his friend in court on a few occasions and as nice and easy going as he knew Steve to be, in court, he could be a scary SOB.

Tony fought down an outburst of laughter when Walter “Wally” Marvin, Esquire leaned towards his client and mouthed:

“You never said he was a Fed, Linda!”

Linda looked at Wally in outrage saying “It doesn’t matter if he’s a fucking Fed! He has no right to be in Spence’s house! I want him out! He has no right being here now Spence is dead!”

She then sneered at Tony and said “Unless you have something in writing that states otherwise! My Attorney has Spence’s will saying me and my boys inherit…EVERYTHING!”

She rocked back on her heels and crossed her arms, staring past Steve, giving Tony a smug look of triumph.

So there it was. Linda had played her hand. Tony’s amusement at the situation ceased as he sat up and waited for Steve to make his play. Tony had never hit a woman but he knew if he had a chance, Linda would be his first.

“Mrs. Spencer” Steve began calmly “Agent DiNozzo has every right to be in this home, at this time, even if Riley Spencer’s last will and testament leaves everything to you and your sons. Mr. DiNozzo was Mr. Spencer’s domestic partner and shared with him the expenses in running this household, including payment of mortgage.”

Linda looked sharply at Steve and then at her attorney and back to Steve.

“Are you saying you have paperwork declaring a written Domestic Partnership?” she demanded

Like the great attorney he was, Steve sidestepped the direct question and said:

“Washington, D.C., has recognized domestic partnerships since 1992. Agent DiNozzo and I are diligently working to secure the documentation we will need to provide to the courts regarding the residence and the personal property it contains. I am sure your Attorney has advised you of District of Columbia statute 186 “upon the death of a domestic partner the living partner has thirty days to settle or contest the estate of the decedent”.

Linda shot Wally a look of disgust then looked back at Steve. She focused on Steve and dismissed Tony like she had always done in the past. Tony began to feel his face get flush. He was having a hard time keeping his mouth shut and his anger contained.

“Humph!” Linda snorted and said “I do not trust your client! He could steal me and my boys blind! I want an accounting of everything in this house and I want it now!”

“That is a demand my client is not required to fulfill at this time. A detailed inventory is required at the hearing to settle the estate.”

“Can I at least have my attorney…” she said with contempt “…take photos of each room?”

Steve looked towards Tony who looked like a volcano ready to blow.

Steve turned back to Linda and Wally and said:

“Let me speak with my client and I will be right back with you, alright?”

Linda nodded her approval.

“I am going to close this door but I will open it in just a minute.” He added civilly

He closed the door and moved over to Tony.

“Fuck them!” Tony snarled under his breath as Steve placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder in comfort.

Tony closed his eyes and taking a deep breath fought to compose himself.

“Okay…what do you think I should do counselor?” he asked Steve

“Let them take their photos…I will be with her attorney and I will demand she wait outside.”

Tony rose from the piano bench and said “Thanks Steve, it’s a good thing you found statute 186.”

Steve smirked and replied “Statute 186 states a person walking their dog without a leash near any government monument will be liable to pay a fine of up to $100.” 

The surprise on Tony’s face made Steve laugh out loud.

“Why don’t you talk to the alarm guys? I’ll have Linda and her ambulance chaser out of your hair ASAP.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Steve had spelled it out to Linda that her attorney would be permitted to take his photos but she would have to remain out of the house.

She wasn’t happy about that in the least but agreed to it since Wally would finally be earning the money she was paying him. She had come to believe the man was a waste of skin and silently cursed William Spencer for recommending his incompetent lawyer friend.

While Wally walked to his car to get his digital camera, Linda sat on the front steps and waited.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony spent about twenty minutes with the “Protect Your Nest” men. He chose a security code and they tested the system with their emergency call center. Tony was so pleased with their work, and because he felt bad the men had to be witness to Linda, he tipped each of them $100 bucks.

Steve and Wally were just heading upstairs, having completed the first floor photos, as Tony walked the alarm men towards the front door. Steve smiled at Tony as he passed. Tony smiled back thanking the powers that be that he was fortunate enough to be graced with Steve Adler as a friend, brother and attorney.

Tony stepped out on the porch and watched the alarm men head to their truck. He ignored Linda sitting on the top step as he watched the truck back out of the driveway. When the truck was out of sight he turned and was headed back inside when he had a sudden crisis of conscience. It was cold outside and he could tell Linda was shivering. She didn’t have a jacket. He owed her nothing although he had some choice words he wanted to unleash on her. He refrained and fighting his gut to just forget her he thought of Spence. He had loved this woman at one time and she was the mother of his children.

Against his gut’s judgment he said “Do you think you could come in and sit on the couch without screaming at me? Maybe have a cup of coffee without the attitude?”

She looked up at him with those familiar pinched lips. She had her sunglasses on so he could not see the shocked expression in her eyes. She stood up and dusted off her backside.

“Yes, I can do that.” She said calmly

“Good.” He smiled then stepped back and held the door open for her.

She walked in like she owned the place.

Tony looked to the heavens and whispered:

“God and Spence, give me strength!”

He followed her inside and shut the door.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter I am very proud of...I love making Linda horrible.

Linda plopped herself on the couch, pulled off her sunglasses and looked around.

As Tony headed into the kitchen he asked:

“How do you like your coffee?”

“Black.” She responded curtly.

'Like your heart' he thought as he poured her a cup.

Tony brought her the coffee and placed it on a coaster on the table in front of her.

She picked it up and looking into the depth of the cup, she sloshed it around.

Tony wondered if she thought he had poisoned her the way she was looking at it.

'Good plan if I had time to do it!' he thought fighting a smile 'Now if Abby were only here….'

Linda set the cup back down, directly on the table, without taking a single sip or saying a single word.

Tony ignored her lack of appreciation and her disrespect. He fought the urge to grab her cup and slam it down on the coaster but he refused to engage in her power play. He knew he had more things to worry about then a wet ring on a wooden table.

'What the hell were you thinking?' He admonished himself.

'Inviting her in to torment you…good going DiNozzo!' He thought as walked back into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee for himself.

Instead of the usual hazelnut creamer and sugar, he added a huge amount of Bailey’s Irish cream.

He needed more than caffeine at the moment.

His back and head were killing him but he debated taking a pain pill.

“Later.” He mused

He could hear Steve and Wally walking upstairs. He hoped they would be done soon.

When he returned to the front room, Linda was up and looking at the bookshelf. Tony took a seat on the piano bench and watched her. She appeared to be looking at all the photos. Picking one up from the bottom shelf, she was surprised to see a photo that included her. She looked at it for a few moments and then turned to Tony and said:

“I remember this day.” She said nostalgically, than looking back at the photo added “God, we were so young then….and happy.”

Tony stood to see which picture she held. He moved towards her warily, hearing the bitterness in the way she had said “happy”.

It was a small photo in an old gold plated frame. Tony had seen the frame on the lower shelf but had never paid much attention to it.

The corner of the glass was cracked but the three people in the photo were young and laughing. It was a photo of Spence and Gibbs with Linda standing between them. Spence and Gibbs had their arms over Linda’s shoulders. From their clothes and hairstyles Tony would guess the photo was taken in the early 1980’s.

Tony knew he should not engage the enemy but his curiosity always got the best of him.

“Um…what was the occasion?”

Linda looked up at him and he was surprised her eyes held no animosity.

She actually had a smile on her face.

“Shannon and I had both found out we were pregnant. Her first, my second.”

“Shannon? Shannon who?” he asked confused.

Linda looked at him like he was daft and said impatiently:

“Shannon Gibbs, of course. She’s the one who took the photo.”

Tony felt his body go numb and his brain flew off into space.

What the fuck?

Linda set the photo back on the shelf and moved over to the piano bench and sat down. She picked up on Tony’s shock in hearing about Shannon. She smiled wickedly behind his back and said coyly:

“Spence and Jethro must have told you about Gibbs first wife, Shannon?”

Tony turned to face her. She smiled sweetly which caught him completely off guard.

“Shannon was Gibbs first wife? And he has a child?” Tony asked trying not to act stunned but failing miserably.

“A daughter” Linda said “named Kelly.”

“Kelly?” Tony whispered.

Gibbs had named a boat Kelly. Tony had always wondered about the choice of name.

“She was a beautiful little girl. She looked just like her mother but had her daddy’s eyes.”

“Was?” Tony gulped.

He was having a hard time processing these revelations.

“Uh huh…Shannon and Kelly were murdered in 1991.”

Tony paled.

He wanted to ask how they were killed but he stopped himself. His gut had already told him that there was no way Kelly could be alive. Gibbs had never mentioned her and there was no way Gibbs would not be a part of his child’s life. He also knew that if Gibbs family had been murdered there was no way that Gibbs would have let the murderer walk if he knew who it was.

Tony noticed Linda watching him intently. She was trying to read the emotions running across his face.

He knew she was enjoying toying with him although he wasn’t sure what she hoped to gain from it.

Tony felt sick for his boss and began to see him in a whole different light. Gibbs had actually had four wives and he had had a child…and she was dead. His first wife and only child were dead. Murdered.

Tony felt overwhelming grief just thinking of the pain Gibbs must have endured.

Linda turned away from him, delighted in upsetting him, she added:

“I’m surprised you didn’t know about Shannon and Kelly. Makes you wonder what else Jethro and Spence have kept from you. Other secrets perhaps.”

That comment riled Tony. He realized she was baiting him. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted her. He always paid for being a nice guy.

“If they had wanted me to know I am sure they would have told me.” He said calmly then added with spite “Besides, everyone is entitled to their secrets. They’re also entitled to loyalty of friends and family to keep a secret if asked to.”

“Hmmm” she simply said and turned back towards him.

She looked him up and down and changed the subject asking:

“Carver and Dixon didn’t do all that physical damage did they?”

He hesitated for a moment then spoke:

“The cut over the eye and the bruises on my face, plus the lacerations on my neck are courtesy of Hector Zegarra.”

That got her attention.

“When did this happen?” She actually sounded concerned.

“Last night.”

“Jimmy Spencer said they were taking you to the hospital.”

“I went and then came home….Zegarra was waiting for me.”

She shuddered at that. She wondered if she had arrived earlier and kicked Tony out, would she have fallen victim to Zegarra.

'Better him then me!' she thought, then said aloud:

“The police warned us but I didn’t think we had anything to worry about…”

“I would say you do.” Tony responded “Zegarra is still on the loose.”

She thought about asking Tony how he managed to get away from Zegarra but realized she honestly didn’t care. In fact, she let the thought that it was too bad Tony survived at all run through her mind.

“Is that why you had the alarm system installed?” She asked nonchalantly.

He nodded yes. He was beginning to feel really tired. The pain of his injuries were escalating.

Tony wondered what was taking Wally so damn long.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

Tony couldn’t stand the pain any longer. He sat on the couch and leaned back and closed his eyes.

Linda turned away from the couch and faced the piano.

She noticed the roses…eleven white and one a deep red. They were beautiful and very fragrant.

She recognized the vase and turning back to Tony said:

“I see Spence still used that hideous vase of his Grandmother’s. I hated that thing!” she laughed

Tony’s eyes snapped open at the comments about the vase. He was happy to hear her laugh. Maybe they could get through this whole thing civilly.

He looked at her thoughtfully and said:

“I’m glad to hear you say that…I actually plan on keeping it. It meant a lot to Spence and it means a lot to me.”

Linda simply nodded and then pointed to the photo of Spence with his Mother and Grandmother.

“I’d like this photo….for Jake and Sam.”

“Of course…I would like to make a copy and then I’ll give you the original.”

She stared at him for a moment. Tony felt like she was sizing him up or perhaps really seeing him for the first time.

“Thank you, Tony.” she said uncharacteristically

Tony was floored. She had thanked him and called him by his name. Both firsts!

Steve and Wally were making their way down the stairs and Tony glanced their way.

The distraction prevented him seeing Linda’s demeanor change when she looked at the photo of Spence hugging Tony.

Spence looked happy and in love.

Jealousy ignited Linda’s internal fury and she struggled to contain it.

Tony saw the shocked expression Steve and Wally both shared as the men noticed Linda.

Steve looked curiously at Tony as if to say 'What the hell is she doing inside?'

“Hey” Steve said aloud “Walter wants to take a picture of the contents of the safe.”

Tony stood and replied “Not a problem. I’ll go open it.”

Steve and Wally followed Tony to the office. Tony was under the impression Linda was right behind them. He opened the safe and sat down behind the desk and closed his eyes.

Steve could handle it from here.

Wally took a few pictures and when he was done said:

“Thank you for appeasing my client, Agent DiNozzo. Mr. Adler says you will have the documentation we discussed within 30 days.”

Tony simply nodded as Steve said “We’ll be in touch Walter. And thank you in advance for forwarding me copies of the photos you are tak….”

Steve stopped speaking at the sound of glass breaking in the other room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Steve and Wally rushed out of the office immediately, leaving Tony struggling to get out of his chair.

The pain in his back left him breathless and the thumping like a bass drum was now pounding in his head.

He made his way as fast as possible but knew in his heart what he would find.

When he reached the living room he saw what he had expected.

The crystal vase that Linda said she hated lay in shattered pieces on the floor.

Wally and Steve turned to look at Tony but Tony simply stared from the floor up towards Linda.

With the other men’s eyes averted, Linda reveled in the fact Tony was the only witness to the true hatred and contempt she held for him. Their eyes were locked for only a few seconds but the negative feelings seethed from her.

When Steve and Wally turned their eyes back to Linda her face transformed for them.

She looked sad and embarrassed as she scrunched her face in a crooked smile and brought a hand up to her mouth.

She cringed on cue, like an actor finding their mark, and simply said:

“Oops…..”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For I Dream of Avalon

Something in Tony snapped.

He pulled the gun from his sweater pocket and shot Linda right between the eyes.

The circular bloody red hole of the bullet wound matched the “O” shape of her mouth, as shock and surprise filled her face and her eyes.

That surprised look gave way to a dull lifelessness, as her body crumpled in a heap to the floor.

Tony smiled in satisfaction, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, a warm happiness flooding through him.

He stood there in a hazy euphoria ignoring the voices around him.

“Tony?! TONY!”

Tony recognized that was Steve’s voice sounding so far away.

Tony felt a hand on his right shoulder. The hand shook him a bit.

He opened his eyes looking to his right, meeting Steve’s gaze.

“Tony? Are you okay bud?” Steve was concerned for him.

Tony could tell.

Steve was a great friend.

Tony wondered if Steve would help him hide Linda’s body.

They had always joked how a good friend will help you move your couch but a great friend will help you move and hide a body.

If Steve didn’t want too, Tony was sure Abby would.

They could test her theory that she could kill you six ways from Sunday and leave nary a forensic trace.

Abby was a great friend.

Tony knew he could count on her.

“Maybe Agent DiNozzo needs to rest?”

Tony recognized that was Wally’s voice. Tony closed his eyes again and imagined how much he would need to come up with to buy Wally’s silence. Wally did nothing to Tony that warranted his death.

Tony wondered why Steve and Wally hadn’t commented on Linda’s corpse lying in the living room.

“Well if you are done Wally, let’s get the hell out of here!”

That voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

Tony’s eyelids shot open searching for the source of that voice.

And there she stood in front of him, six feet up and breathing.

LINDA!

Hands on her hips with that pinched facial expression and those pursed lips.

Tony looked down at the shattered crystal vase, water seeping into hardwood flooring, Spence’s roses scattered throughout the mess.

He looked up at her, searching her face for something…anything.....but there was nothing.

No apology for destroying something Tony held dear because she wasn’t sorry in the least.

His heart sank.

Killing her had seemed so real.

He put his hand in his pocket feeling the cold metal of the pistol.

Cold, not hot, never fired.

SHIT!

Reason, logic and anger intertwined inside him.

He turned to Wally and said “Can I see your camera?”

Wally didn’t think twice, he handed it over to Tony’s outstretched hand.

Tony heard Linda begin to protest but he pointed at her and commanded:

“YOU…be quiet. I AM NOT speaking to you.”

The tone of his voice froze her in her tracks.

He sounded authoritative, no-nonsense and deadly serious.

Her mouth remained slightly open, debating if she should say anything.

She wisely chose to remain quiet.

Tony quickly surveyed the digital camera and finding the spot he needed popped open the side and pulled out the memory card. He pocketed it and handed the camera back to Wally who accepted it without protest.

“No pictures. Your request was an insult and I’ve change my mind. Send me a bill for the memory card, Walter, and I’ll reimburse you.”

Tony looked at Steve who raised his eyebrows as if saying “What now?”

Tony looked at Wally and then over at Linda and said:

“Now…you two get the fuck out of MY house!”

“OH HELL NO……..” Linda began but Tony stepped over her destruction and rising to his full height he placed a hand around her upper arm and moved her towards the front door.

“Get your fucking hand off of me! Wally! Dooooooo something!!!” She wailed and attempted to pull away but Tony simply opened the door and pushed her gently through it.

When Wally took his place next to her on the porch Tony said directly to Linda:

“If you step foot on this property before we have our day in court, I will have you arrested for trespass.”

With that Tony slammed the door with such force the windows rattled.

He leaned against the door, his forehead resting against the cool wood.

He listened to their banter as they walked to Wally’s car:

“You are fired you fucking, good for nothing asshole!” Linda screamed

“You can’t fire me, Linda! I quit!” Wally countered

The conversation was still heavy but muted as they got farther away.

Tony heard two car doors slam and an engine start and then there was the pleasure of total silence.

A few minutes later Steve came up behind him and said:

“You look beat bro…why don’t you go take a nap? I have more research to do and then we can get some dinner. When Gibbs gets here we can order in or I can go pick something up…what do you say?”

Tony agreed. He needed a shower, a pain pill and a nap. He had not got a chance to eat his lunch and the Bailey’s Irish Cream had not been a good idea after all. He started for the stairs when Steve said:

“I’ll get this cleaned up for you…where do you keep your broom?”

Tony looked back at Steve and said “Leave it Bro….”

“But the water…and don’t you want to save the flowers?”

“Just leave it as is, okay?” Tony pleaded

“Of course it’s okay…whatever you want Tony.”

Steve didn’t understand but he would do as Tony asked.

Tony felt like he owed his friend an explanation so he added “I’ll take care of it later but right now I need to be reminded what I am fighting for.”


	28. Chapter 28

After the call from Metro regarding the dead criminal informant, Gibbs made his way back to the bullpen.

He talked with Balboa’s team which still included McGee and Kate.

It was decided that Gibbs would go and question Joe Alvarez that afternoon to obtain information about the C.I. and then he would call it a night.

Balboa’s team would continue to gather as much information as they could and when they had the forensics and autopsy results, they would set about creating a joint task force with Metro to work together on both the present and past murders.

Gibbs and Abby had agreed to meet back at Tony’s later that evening for dinner.

He had asked Abby to call Steve to coordinate the evening meal making sure they got what Tony was in the mood for.

As Gibbs drove to Bethesda to visit Joe, his thoughts were all over the place.

He had not talked to Tony at all during the day and since he hadn’t heard from Steve he figured things were progressing okay. His gut told him otherwise but he ignored it. He hoped Tony got the rest he needed. Knowing DiNozzo the way he did, Tony probably suffered through the day ignoring his pain. Gibbs was determined Tony would get a good night’s sleep if he had to drug him himself.

He thought about his conversation with Abby regarding that nights get together.

Abby expressed excitement in seeing Steve again and Gibbs was reminded that everyone else had met Steve long before he had. He tried hard to keep his jealousy under control. Logically, He knew it was juvenile and destructive. He usually mastered it but his restraint was beginning to crumble. He knew he could be very possessive and unforgiving. It was a dark part of his personality few people knew. Now that Tony’s heart was in Gibbs crosshairs he had to be extra careful in his approach.

Gibbs thought of Spence. Gibbs had confided his dark side to Spence soon after Gibbs left his wife Stephanie. She had cheated on him but had come clean about her infidelity. She sought his forgiveness but he threw her out. He shut her out and turned a cold shoulder to her pleas. He had told her she was dead to him and the feelings or lack of them worried him greatly. He knew he was partly responsible for her roving eye.

“Losing Shannon fucked you up!” Spence had said over a few too many beers.

“You lost the love of your life and you have been trying desperately to replace that which is irreplaceable. You didn’t love Stephanie…as I remember you were honest with her in that regard. You may have a “dark side” as you call it but who doesn’t? I hate to be the one to break it to you Gibbs, but you are only human. When you commit, you commit; Even if the outcome is not in YOUR best interest. You are not a cheater and you a have zero tolerance for those who do, no matter the reason. Hell, you would still be with her if she hadn’t let you down….in another loveless marriage just going through the motions. What happened was painful but in the end it freed you both.”

Gibbs appreciated Spence defending him but he still felt like a total shit. He hoped that maybe someday he and Stephanie could be friends again. One thing he could say about all the wives after Shannon-he really did like each one of them. He just didn’t love them the way they deserved to be loved. In his own defense they had all pursued him but he had not been strong enough to say no.

Loneliness could make you do things you lived to regret.

Gibbs knew if he could capture Tony’s heart, if it really wasn’t too late for them, he would love Tony like he had loved Shannon-the love of a lifetime. He just hoped there was room in Tony’s heart for another love. Gibbs knew without a doubt that the love Spence and Tony shared had been epic. He thought back to when Tony had confessed he couldn’t do it anymore…that he couldn’t love someone…Gibbs was determined to change his mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At Bethesda, he attempted to shove all personal thoughts aside.

He had a job to do.

“Focus” he advised himself mentally as he rode the elevator to the 7th floor.

When he exited the elevator, he looked around.

The guards were still posted at Joe’s door.

Gibbs recognized the officer he had spoken to the day before.

Mark Jensen asked him how Tony was doing.

News of last night’s drama between Tony & Zegarra had spread like wildfire.

For some reason Jensen’s concern for Tony pissed Gibbs off.

It might have been his tone or maybe it was that Jensen was around Tony’s age and almost as handsome. He was as tall as Tony but had darker hair and caramel brown eyes.

Gibbs memory engaged. He remembered Jensen from Spence’s organized basketball games from the previous summer. He also remembered Spence confided in him that he was keeping an eye on Jensen. Spence was certain Mark Jensen had a thing for Tony. Spence had said it with humor, he trusted Tony with his life and his heart, but Gibbs remembered Jensen was a bit too “touchy feely” when close to Tony on the basketball court.

“DiNozzo will be fine.” Gibbs answered curtly, eyebrows narrowed with suspicion.

Mark Jensen looked confused as Gibbs walked past him into Joe’s room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was happy to see that Joe was sitting up and alert.

“Hey Joe…how’s it going?” he asked taking a seat in the chair next to Joe’s bed.

“Gibbs!” Joe greeted him “I’m hanging in there. Morphine is a beautiful thing.”

As Gibbs chuckled Joe said:

“Tell me about Tony! Is he alright? I heard about what happened last night. That son of bitch Zegarra got away.”

Gibbs sat back in his chair and sighed. He felt the adrenaline he had been running on most of the day begin to fail him. He needed food, sleep or at the very least a cup of coffee.

“He’s hurting, Joe. He has definitely had a rough couple of days but he’s tough, he’ll make it.”

Joe nodded and cringed a bit in pain as he moved to get comfortable.

“Tell him to come see me when he can will ya? I should be here for a few more days and then I’ll be joining my family in the safe house until I’m 100%....well close to it at least….or they catch Zegarra… whichever comes first.”

“I’ll let Tony know.” Gibbs agreed

Joe looked at Gibbs and said “Something else has happened. That’s why you’re here, right?”

“Yes. I have some questions for you…are you up for it?”

Joe looked worried as he said “Sure….ask away.”

“I need you to tell me everything you can about your C.I. Ricky Hernandez.”

“Not much to tell really. He was more Spence’s C.I. then mine. Spence helped the kid get off drugs over a decade ago, sponsored him. He helped him get a job and an apartment. Spence treated him like a surrogate son really. The kid had peripheral ties to a lot of the street gangs and he called Spence periodically when he heard rumblings of trouble. I can’t remember the last time we saw him. I heard he was the one who warned Metro about Los Muertos vendetta against us.”

“Was Ricky ever affiliated with Los Muertos? Did he know Hector Zegarra personally?’ Gibbs asked

“I honestly don’t know, Gibbs. Ricky had ties to the Diablos but they no longer have a presence in D.C. Los Muertos drove them out.”

Gibbs watched Joe’s face darken as he said “These are questions you could be asking Ricky directly. Why are you asking me instead of him?”

“Because his body was pulled out of the Potomac this morning.”

“Fuck! Do they know how he died?”

“His throat was slit. We are waiting for the autopsy results. We are hoping to tie his murder in to the Marines murdered the other day. Those murders may even tie in to several Metro has had over the last five years.”

“Jesus….” Joe whispered.

Gibbs could see the strain and fatigue in Spence’s partners face. He stood and said:

“Sorry if I upset you Joe….I’ll be going….just get well and I’ll keep you posted as we learn more.”

“Thanks” Joe replied then added “My doctor says I might not be able to continue working a beat. It wouldn’t be the same without Spence anyway. I may just retire.”

Gibbs nodded and before he walked out he said “I’ll give Tony your message.”

As Gibbs made his way towards the elevator Mark Jensen stopped him.

“Would you tell Tony to call me if he needs anything?” Jensen asked as he handed Gibbs his business card.

Gibbs took the card but said nothing. He simply stared at Jensen as the elevator doors closed.

Gibbs was almost to the exit when he crumbled Jensen’s card throwing it in the trash just before he walked outside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs pulled up to Tony’s house and saw Abby unloading several shopping bags from her hearse.

He parked and then hurried over to assist her.

“Hey Gibbs!” She greeted him sweetly “Perfect timing, Bossman!”

“What is all this, Abs?” He asked looking at all the bags around them.

She continued unloading saying:

“Well, I called Steve like you asked and he said Tony was asleep and he didn’t want to wake him. So we didn’t know what Tony might like to eat but you know Tony…his food pyramid consists of Chinese take- out, jelly donuts, pizza, and beer.” She laughed at her own joke and continued “So when Steve told me he was going to be staying with Tony for a few days I figured I’d stock up and prepare a few healthy meals for them.”

“That’s kind of you Abs.” Gibbs said sincerely

“Anything for Tony.” She said “We’re going to have steak, sweet potato fries and salad tonight.”

“Sounds good!” Gibbs said picking up several bags.

They transferred the bags from the hearse to the front porch. Gibbs used the key Spence had given him years ago to open the front door. Steve had heard them and walked out of the office to help them lug in the bags of groceries.

“Hey Steve!” Abby squealed as she hugged him.

“Hey gorgeous!” Steve said as he hugged her back affectionately.

Gibbs was halfway to the kitchen when he noticed the broken vase and the flowers. The water had dried leaving an obvious mark.

“What the hell?” he said as he placed the bags on the couch and began to bend down to pick up the flowers.

“Don’t Gibbs!” Steve said “Tony wants to leave it for now.”

Gibbs looked at Steve, confused.

“What the hell for?” he asked annoyed.

He had helped Spence install the hardwood flooring. You never, ever let water mark hardwood.

“It’s been a day. Let me tell you as we put this stuff away.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was on his second cup of coffee as Abby began to prepare dinner. Steve had told them everything that had happened that morning that he was present for. He told them how Tony had acquiesced and allowed Linda in. He thought they must have had quite a conversation as both were on edge after the vase broke and Tony demanded they leave.

“Linda acted like the broken vase was accidental but I think Tony believes she did it on purpose.”

“That vase meant a lot to him.” Abby stated “It was Spence’s grandmothers and it meant the world to Spence.”

She turned to Gibbs and said “Did you know that Tony brought Spence a fresh bouquet of flowers every week? In fact, if he was out of town for work he had them delivered.”

“I didn’t know that.” Gibbs said sadness in his voice.

It figured Linda would destroy something special to Tony if she had an inkling of how much it meant to him. Gibbs wondered how she knew.

“I wish I could have seen him kick that bitch to the curb…”Abby added as she cut sweet potatoes into strips.

“Abby!” Gibbs said

“What!? You know she is a bitch, Gibbs..c’mon! I am glad Tony took a stand! Do you think you can help him Steve?”

“I’m going to court tomorrow morning to request a 30 day injunction. That would give us time to search for additional documentation. Spence may have an attorney through work we don’t know about. A lot of cops use the legal services provided by their employer.”

Abby and Steve engaged in small talk as Gibbs sipped his coffee and tuned out.

He wondered what Linda said to Tony. He wondered if Tony would share what she said with him. After the cruel things she had said to Gibbs back at the Spencer estate, he hoped she had not unleashed her fury on Tony. He didn’t need that crap on top of all the other shit he was dealing with.

The conversation around him began to lull which broke his chain of thought.

Steve asked Abby if she needed any help with dinner.

He excused himself back to the office when she shooed him out of the kitchen.

While Abby busied herself, Gibbs walked back into the living room.

He stared down at the mess Linda had created. He was pissed at her but he couldn’t help but smile thinking of the romantic gesture Tony had done for Spence.

Gibbs thought about the roses he had sent Shannon over the years. She had always hung them to dry when they were close to dying. He had come home from one tour of duty and found the basement ceiling lined with them. He had paid a local florist to deliver a new bouquet every other week. He couldn’t afford a weekly service on his Marine pay but he wanted her to remember how much he loved her. If he couldn’t be with her then the roses would stand in for him. She was thrilled with that romantic gesture and said it meant more to her than any diamonds he could ever dream of giving her.

He understood why Tony wanted the reminder but he had other plans.

He picked up the flowers and gently shook shards of crystal to the floor.

He placed the flowers outside and then went back into the kitchen and found a broom and dust pan.

He swept up the remains of the vase and poured the crystal shards into a paper bag. He put the broom back and then carried the bag outside. He grabbed the flowers as he carried the bag out to his car and opened the trunk.

When he walked back into the house Abby informed him dinner would be ready in 30 minutes. She asked him to let Steve know and to wake Tony.

After a brief stop in the office to talk with Steve and let him know about dinner, Gibbs headed up the stairs. He wondered if Tony had worked up the nerve to sleep alone in the master bedroom. Gibbs was not surprised when he looked in and found the room empty. He looked into the guest room but Steve’s suitcase was the only thing lying on the bed so Gibbs walked towards the third bedroom-the boy’s room.

Spence had set this third bedroom up for Jake and Sam.

He had purchased a set of twin beds, extra- long for growing boys and had selected individual bedding based on each boys favorite sports team. Gibbs had helped him set up the room and he fondly remembered how excited Spence was to have his sons visit.

Unfortunately for Spence, and his sons, Linda had never permitted them to stay over. The boys had never even seen the room their father had created especially for them.

Gibbs quietly opened the door and looked around. The room had never changed in all the years. 

A certain melancholy enveloped him.

The room sat as a shrine to sons who now had no hope of knowing their father or how much he truly loved them.

Gibbs sadness turned to happiness seeing Tony stretched out on one of the twin beds. He was lying on his stomach and his right arm was hanging over the side. Gibbs could hear him breathing deeply with an occasional snore. He was on top of the covers and Gibbs noted that sometime during the day Tony had changed into blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Gibbs tried not to notice how well those jeans hugged his ass.

He squatted down next to the bed, ignoring the pain in his knee.

Gibbs took the moment to brush damp strands of Tony’s hair back off his forehead. He checked for fever but found Tony’s skin was clammy and cool. He wondered how long Tony had been asleep.

“Hey Tone” Gibbs said quietly, gently shaking Tony’s shoulder “Time to get up.”

Tony jolted awake, rolling over onto his back.

“Spence?!” he called out loudly trying to focus on his surroundings.

He rubbed at his eyes until he could see clearly. When he realized Gibbs was next to him he said:

“Oh, hey boss…sorry about that…thought I heard…never mind…what time is it?”

Gibbs stood up carefully but grimaced as his knee popped. He held out his hand to Tony who took it allowing Gibbs to pull him out of bed.

“Time for dinner, DiNozzo…Abby is cooking us up something special.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As they entered the living room, Gibbs noticed Tony glance at the spot where the shattered vase had been but he did not remark that it was gone.

Gibbs thought Tony might bring it up during dinner but he didn’t.

In fact, Tony didn’t say anything about Linda or the day’s events other than to inform them he had a new security system and the alarm code was “BITE ME”.

He also provided them all with a quick tutorial on how to arm and disarm it.

Alarm off, they sat down to eat.

“This is really great Abby…thank you for dinner!” Tony said sincerely as Abby beamed at him.

She and Steve had been chatting away and had not noticed Tony hardly ate a thing.

He consumed a small part of his steak, a few sweet potato fries and just pushed his salad around his plate.

He was clever in his deception but he had not been counting on Gibbs watching him like a hawk.

“Glad you like it Tony. I also threw together a rotisserie chicken salad and a vegetable lasagna for you guys. I hope you don’t mind but I used some vegetables from the garden.”

Tony smiled at her and said:

“I’m glad you did, Abs! We need to use them up before Spence and I plant….”

His smile suddenly faded from his face as he said “Sorry…It’s still hard to believe Spence is really gone.”

“Oh, Tony!” Abby said teary eyed “It’s okay….we should always talk about those who are no longer with us. If you love someone you keep them alive by talking about them! I loved Spence...and am so happy to have known him. He loved you so much and I know you loved him. I hope I find someone to love like that…you were really lucky Tony!”

He knew the smile he gave her was weak. He appreciated that she meant well but at the moment Tony felt anything but lucky.

He felt displaced, angry, frightened, and empty. Although he was surrounded by three people he loved dearly, he felt absolutely alone.

He wondered if Gibbs had felt like this when he learned his family had been murdered.

Tony looked at Gibbs and noticed he just stared at his plate as he moved his fork around.

Tony wondered if Abby’s comments had stirred up memories of Shannon and Kelly.

Suddenly, Gibbs placed his napkin on the table, he stood up and said “Excuse me…I’ll be right back.”

As Gibbs hurried to the front door, Tony said “Me too”.

He got up from the table and followed Gibbs outside, leaving behind a surprised Steve and Abby.

Tony wanted to tell Gibbs what Linda had told him about Shannon and Kelly. He wanted to ask Gibbs how he handled the loss of not just one person he loved but two. He was so emotionally torn he almost blurted it out but at the last minute he changed tactics. It dawned on Tony that maybe Gibbs just wanted to get the hell out of there. Maybe he just wanted to be alone. Tony understood that feeling all too well.

“Hey Boss?” He called to Gibbs cautiously

Gibbs body stiffened but he turned and said “Yeah, DiNozzo?”

“Do you still want to stay tonight?”

Gibbs looked frustrated at Tony’s question. Tony also noticed Gibbs seemed off somehow and he again thought Abby’s comments might have upset Gibbs.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked coolly

“Well I can sleep in the boy’s room if you’d rather not. You know I didn’t even think of that option until Steve…”

“It was a simple yes or no question Tony.”

Tony looked down for a few moments and then looked up directly into Gibbs eyes and said:

“Yes.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes as he threw up both hands-his body language screamed “Now was that so hard?”

He then turned and headed towards his car as Tony said “Are you going to your car?”

Gibbs spun around and said “Ya think, DiNozzo?!”

Tony shrugged shyly.

“Getting my go bag!”

“Oh…okay” Tony responded quietly as he waited for Gibbs to get his bag.

Tony couldn’t see it but Gibbs walked to his car smiling from ear to ear.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abby left shortly before 9 PM.

She hugged Steve goodbye as he said his goodnights to all of them and headed up to bed.

Gibbs and Tony walked Abby to her hearse.

She hugged them both and agreed to text Tony when she made it home safely.

Tony set the alarm and shut off the lights. He and Gibbs then headed upstairs.

He knew Steve was beat. His friend had been up for almost 24 hours.

When they entered the master bedroom, Tony headed into the walk- in closet to change and Gibbs turned on the side table light on what was Spence’s side of the bed. He pulled sweats and a t-shit from his go bag and quickly changed. He neatly folded his clothing and set them on a chair near the bed. He grabbed his toiletry bag and headed towards the master bath.

Tony walked from the closet, meeting Gibbs at the dual sinks in the bathroom. He had changed into flannel pajama bottoms but had retained the white t-shirt. He washed his face and brushed his teeth at one sink as Gibbs mirrored his actions in the other. They then walked back towards the bed.

It was not lost on either of them how natural their movements flowed together. Gibbs tried to not think about it but Tony realized it was really no different than when they were in the field. The two of them had clicked together like magnets on their first meet in Baltimore.

“You sure you’re ready to go to bed Boss? It’s kind of early for you isn’t it?”

“Yeah but I’m good. Will the light bother you if I read for a bit?”

“Not at all….Spence use to…..uh…no… it won’t bother me.”

Tony pulled down the comforter on his side of the bed. He had turned on a nightlight for Gibbs in the bathroom before he turned off the overhead lights in the bedroom.

That left only the light from the side table near Gibbs.

“Besides” Tony added “I am planning on heavily medicating tonight.”

He grabbed the pill bottle from his nightstand and shook out two of them into his hand.

“You are voluntarily taking your pain meds?” Gibbs commented suspiciously “You didn’t eat much of your dinner…you’re supposed to take those on a full stomach aren’t you?”

“I ate enough and being a mother hen is not an attractive look for you Gibbs.”

Gibbs crossed his arms and glared.

Tony opened his palm so Gibbs could see the pain pills, then he swallowed them down dry.

“I seriously need to check out for a while, boss.”

“Rough day?” Gibbs asked, hoping Tony would bring up Linda.

The question went unanswered as Tony’s phone chimed. He picked it up and read the text.

“Abby’s home!” he said with relief as he placed the phone back on his nightstand table.

Tony ignored Gibbs, who was still standing and glaring at him. He climbed into bed, cheerfully said “Wake me up if I snore!” then lay down facing away from Gibbs, on his side.

Gibbs fluffed a couple of pillows up against the headboard. He hesitated when it came to the comforter. He debated getting under the comforter or lying on top of it as he had done the night before. He was just about to lie on top when Tony rolled over and with one swift motion, he pulled the comforter back for Gibbs and then he rolled back to his original position.

Gibbs smirked as he sat down, rested back against the headboard and pulled the comforter up.

“Goodnight Tony.” He said quietly.

Tony yawned then said:

“Good night boss….sleep tight…and thank you for staying.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was fast asleep within minutes.

His breathing was deep and even and Gibbs was relieved there was no snoring.

Gibbs had left the novel “True Grit” on the nightstand the night before but presently had no interest in reading about seeking vengeance for the death of a loved one. He would never admit it but Abby’s comments earlier that evening had shaken him. He wondered if he dishonored his girls by keeping their prior existence a secret. They were such an integral part of his life once. He missed them every day. The only person he ever talked to about them was Spence. But now he had lost Spence, too.

Gibbs glanced over at Tony and wondered if he should share his story with him.

Maybe someday. 

 

Moving quietly, Gibbs searched for something else to read.

He opened the nightstand drawer but closed it quickly when he saw it merely housed a variety of condoms, tubes of lube, a pair of leather restraints, a blindfold and what may be a cock ring.

Gibbs wasn’t embarrassed; He just felt weird, like he was violating Spence and Tony’s privacy.

He grabbed a few magazines from the shelf below the drawer and was relieved they were home improvement magazines and not porn. There is no way he could look at anything pornographic while Tony slept next to him.

The first magazine was dedicated to gardening. Gibbs skimmed through it but he wasn’t that interested in the subject matter. Spence was the gardening nut.

The second magazine was all about remodeling bathrooms. Spence had actually placed post it notes on different pages that highlighted “shower rooms”. That piqued Gibbs interest. He scanned the different photos until he found a post it that read “Tony’s dream shower (Anniversary gift?)”.

Gibbs peeled away the yellow squared note and was amazed at the “Shower room” displayed underneath.

The room was about the size of a walk in closet-5ft X 5ft x 10ft.

It was floor to ceiling dark slate that featured a radiant heat option under the stone. The door leading into the room was all glass. It sat on a pivot hinge that allowed the door to swing freely out or in.

The ceiling held a large shower head that allowed the water to pour down like rain. You could also set it to mist or steam-adding scents like eucalyptus or lavender to the steam if desired.

There was also a programing feature that could make it look like the sky above. It could change from day to night and back to day again. It could also be programed to remain dark with a blanket of stars above. The constellations moved as they would with the rotation of the earth.

There were six other shower heads at different positions covering the four walls. A carved niche for shampoos or body lotions and in one corner was a triangular seat. There were also a variety of other options you could purchase for your showering pleasure-surround sound stereo, bracing bars that could be mounted on the wall. There was even mention of a hammock like swing seat that hung from the ceiling.

“It’s like having your own gay bathhouse in the luxury of your own home!” Gibbs mused.

He looked at a few other models but had to say he agreed with Tony-the “Night Sky” shower room was his favorite as well.

Gibbs read a few more magazines until he could barely keep his eyes open.

Gathering up the magazines he placed them back on the shelf, took off his reading glasses and set them on the nightstand next to his cell phone and his sig. He looked over at Tony. He was still breathing steady and had not moved a muscle since he fell asleep.

Satisfied all was well, Gibbs turned off the bedside lamp and snuggled down to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was the sound of rain that woke Gibbs several hours later.

“Rain was not expected tonight” he thought as he turned over and tried to go back to sleep.

The sound of falling water triggered his bladder’s need to be emptied.

SHIT!

He pulled back the comforter; he got up and moved around the bed heading for the bathroom. Groggy, he stumbled a bit and was happy Tony had the foresight to leave the nightlight on for him.

Nature’s call satisfied, he headed back to bed.

As he got closer to the bed he had enough light to see Tony was not in it. His sleepy brain began to clear a bit when it dawned on him it wasn’t rain he was hearing but the shower.

“Why would Tony be in the shower this time of night?” he wondered as he turned around heading back to the master bath.

When he entered the room he approached the shower and was surprised to find a solid clear glass door leading into a walk in shower. Gibbs had not noticed Spence had had the shower room installed.

He wondered how he had missed that.

The nightlight reflected off the surface of the glass so Gibbs leaned forward trying to peer into it. He whispered “Tony?” and when Tony’s face appeared behind the glass in front of Gibbs, Gibbs pulled back with a gasp.

Tony’s face was unblemished….his bruises and the cut above his eye were gone. Droplets of water ran down his face towards his seductive grin. His eyes were dark with desire and filled with need. Gibbs didn’t think he had ever seen Tony look more beautiful.

Gibbs stepped back as Tony pushed the glass door open. A rush of heat and steam enveloped Gibbs. He closed his eyes to it until he felt Tony’s hand grasp his wrist and pull him forward into the shower room.

Instantly, the moisture in the room stuck Gibbs clothes to his skin.

The shower head above was steaming a rich scent of exotic woods and soft musk.

Gibbs noted the night sky of the ceiling.

This was the shower room Tony had dreamed about.

Dreamed….Gibbs realized he was having a dream. Logically he knew he should wake himself up.

But Tony took charge, using both hands to run up and under Gibbs shirt to quickly remove it.

Tony’s hands caressed Gibbs stomach and then his chest as the shirt was up and off and thrown to a corner of the room.

Gibbs stood there waiting for what Tony would do next, any thought of waking up long gone.

Tony ran his hands over Gibbs chest and then brought them both up to rest on either side of Gibbs neck.

He leaned in and Gibbs, anticipating a kiss, closed his eyes.

Instead of a kiss Tony whispered in his ear “Lose the pants.”

He released Gibbs and disappeared into the mist.

Tony’s seductive voice held a promise of so much more.

Just the sound of his voice made Gibbs painfully hard.

Gibbs struggled to pull his pants off; the wet fabric and a fully erect cock making it difficult.

With the wet plopping sound of pants hitting the floor, Tony was back.

He wrapped his arms around Gibbs waist and pulled him in for a gentle kiss.

Tony’s skin was so warm against his own skin; Gibbs couldn’t contain a moan of pleasure.

He felt Tony’s smile against his lips as he kissed him. When Tony felt Gibbs rub his hard dick against his thigh gentle kisses turned to hungry kisses as Tony forcefully gained entrance into Gibbs eager mouth.

The kissing, the touching, the feel of warm water and steam surrounding them was a sensory overload.

Gibbs submitted to Tony’s every whim.

He moved back towards the wall as Tony kissed him, mapping every inch of Gibbs mouth, while guiding Gibbs backwards. When Gibbs back hit the dark slate he had expected it to be cold but the stone was warm and inviting. Radiant heat warmed his back as Tony pinned him against the wall.

They spent several minutes kissing deeply, hands roaming up and down finding the pleasure spots for future reference.

Tony pulled back and looked at Gibbs, a huge grin on his face.

The lighting was dim but they were so close Gibbs could see love in Tony’s eyes as he said:

“I love you, Jethro. I want you… in so many, many ways.”

Tony kissed him again but this time Gibbs threw submission away.

He spun Tony around and slammed him against the wall.

The breath knocked out of him Tony looked at Gibbs, first with shock and surprise and then with complete lust.

“I wondered how long it would take you to take control.” He panted as Gibbs pulled his wrists above his head and took his mouth in a demanding searing kiss.

Gibbs rubbed his cock against Tony’s as he plundered his mouth. Tony gasped as Gibbs moved from his mouth and kissed along his jaw and down to his neck. When Gibbs sank his teeth into Tony’s flesh Tony screamed.

Gibbs continued to hold Tony’s wrists with one hand.

He moved the other down between them and taking both of their cocks in his hand he stroked them together. He started slowly and as Tony started to pant he built up the pace.

They were both so close it didn’t take long.

Tony moaned deeply as his climax poured up and over Gibbs hand.

Feeling Tony’s release drove Gibbs over the edge. He screamed Tony’s name as he shot his load.

The warmth of hot semen filling his sweats is what woke Gibbs. 

Gibbs bolted up and out of the bed. He was a sticky mess and was thankful it was still semi-dark outside.

He stood quietly wondering if he had disturbed Tony’s sleep.

He heard the rhythmic sound of Tony breathing.

He looked at the time…it was almost 5AM.

He made his way to the bathroom to clean himself up.

As he sponged himself off he relived his dream over and over.

It had been so real and so fucking hot.

He had not had a wet dream since he was twelve.

He decided then and there the first step of “Operation: Woo DiNozzo” was to call a contractor.

Gibbs was having the “Night Sky” Shower Room installed in his home as soon as he had a chance.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to you all for reading and the kudos and comments! Going to get out as many chapters as I can over the weekend.  
> Happy 4th to all the American readers out there! Be safe and have a ton of fun!

Sponging off wasn’t doing the job effectively so Gibbs decided to just get into the shower.

He made sure Tony was still fast asleep.

Satisfied, he started the shower and stepped inside when it started to steam.

Gibbs focused on getting clean and out of there.

He was done in less than five minutes.

He dried off and wrapping the towel around his waist, he walked quietly over to his go bag.

He pulled on boxers, slapped on deodorant then slipped a fresh white t-shirt over his head. He ran a comb through his hair but stopped for a moment listening for Tony’s breathing. The room was silent and he wondered if Tony was feigning sleep. Gibbs felt his face flush as his mind drifted back to the dream. He shook his head to release the images that were once again stirring his loins.

'Down boy!' He scolded himself silently.

Smiling, he dressed quickly into blue jeans and a black polo shirt.

The sun was up and he needed coffee.

He could hear water running through the pipes in the house so he knew Steve was up and starting his day.

Squatting down next to Tony he watched him sleep. He was breathing very softly and he had not moved at all throughout the night. Gibbs placed his hand on Tony’s forehead and found his flesh was warm but that was to be expected. Gibbs frowned as he removed his hand and there was no reaction to his touch.

Standing, Gibbs picked up the pill bottle from the nightstand and scanned the prescription.

Oxycodone-Take 1 every 6 hours as needed for pain. Warning: Do not consume alcohol

“Dammit Tony!” Gibbs hissed at his snoozing SFA.

He could kick himself for not questioning Tony on how many beers he had consumed after dinner.

Gibbs remembered at least two Tony had an hour before Abby left. Then he had taken two pain pills instead of the recommended one. No wonder he was unconscious. Gibbs picked up his phone and hit speed dial #4. The call was answered on the second ring:

“Good morning, Jethro!” Ducky said pleasantly.

“Hey Duck….I have a question for you….”

“Oh….could you hold a moment…..I just finished preparing Mother’s breakfast…..”

Gibbs waited silently but smirked listening as Donald Mallard manipulated his mother into eating her breakfast.

She put up a good fight but Gibbs could tell Ducky got his way.

Ducky returned to the phone slightly out of breath.

“Ah…thank you for your patience, Jethro! Now…what questions do you have?”

Gibbs explained Tony’s situation and asked:

“So should I be worried he hasn’t moved or doesn’t seem to be aware of anything going on around him after seven hours of sleep?”

“Check his eyes and tell me if his pupils are dilated.” Ducky directed

Gibbs did as asked and said “Slightly dilated.”

“And his breathing is steady and unhindered?”

Gibbs listened intently and said “yep.”

“Well as much as it worries me Anthony has over medicated he should be fine, Jethro. He needs to rest and if this is what it takes just let him sleep and check on him periodically. If you are really nervous try shaking him awake now.”

Gibbs looked down at Tony and decided he didn’t want to leave him asleep without some type of response.

“Hang on Duck…” Gibbs said then set his phone down.

“Tony?” Gibbs said aloud then shook Tony’s left shoulder.

No response.

He pushed harder and said louder “DINOZZO!”

Tony groaned out something unintelligible as he rolled over pulling his pillow with him.

He settled down on his left side with a pillow over his head and didn’t move.

Gibbs chuckled as he picked up the phone and said “Thanks Duck…I’ll let him sleep.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Mornin’ Gibbs…..how’s Tony?” Steve asked as Gibbs walked into the kitchen and headed directly for the coffee pot.

Steve was in a light grey suit, white shirt and a very expensive looking tie. He looked every inch a lawyer.

Gibbs was not a fan of lawyers but he appreciated Tony had Steve on his side. He noted Steve was a handsome guy and didn’t have an ounce of lawyer “sleaze” Gibbs usually expected.

'Probably because Steve didn’t prey on failed marriages or personal injuries.' Gibbs thought before saying:

“Morning Steve…Tony’s still asleep.”

“Well that’s good. He needs to rest. There are scones or muffins in the cupboard above the coffee pot. Abby sure stocked us up!”

Steve started to say something else when his phone rang.

He looked at the screen then looked up at Gibbs and said apologetically:

“Sorry Gibbs….got to take this.

Gibbs nodded in understanding as he poured a cup of coffee and inhaled the aroma before taking a big sip.

The coffee was not as strong as Gibbs liked but it would do.

Drinking his coffee, Gibbs did his best to ignore Steve’s conversation but from what he heard Steve had networked with colleagues to arrange an emergency court date for the morning.

Gibbs refilled his coffee cup and opened the cupboard looking for a blueberry muffin.

Scoring his favorite muffin, he was just returning the container to the cupboard when he looked out the kitchen window. He squinted not sure that what he was seeing was accurate. When he realized he wasn’t seeing things, he drew his sidearm and rushed to the kitchen door.

He pulled the door open and hurried into the yard. The alarm engaged and a shrill siren filled the house.

“Shit! I need to call you back!” Steve yelled into his phone as he jumped up and ran to the window.

He could see Gibbs moving quickly towards something protruding from the back lawn.

He turned as he heard Tony running down the stairs. He met Tony at the alarm box.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Tony yelled over the alarm as he fumbled with the alarm buttons.

“Gibbs pulled his gun and just rushed out the back door!” Steve yelled back feeling helpless.

Tony looked at Steve with a confused look on his face as the screech of the alarm ceased suddenly.

The home phone rang and Tony answered it. It was “Protect Your Nest” checking to see if the police needed to be called. Tony confirmed it was a false alarm.

He hung up and turning to Steve said “You still have the gun I gave you?”

“I put it back in the office…it’s on the desk.” Steve said as Tony ran back to the office.

He returned in seconds with the gun in his hand.

Tony hurried to the back door, Steve behind him. They made their way outside to join Gibbs.

Gibbs was talking on his phone and from the sound of his voice Tony knew Gibbs was furious.

As Tony looked around he understood why.

The vegetable garden had been destroyed, literally hacked away by brutal force.

The remains of tomato plants, corn stalks, bean poles lay scattered on the ground. Lettuce, zucchini, carrots, uprooted and smashed. It was infuriating but it was also frightening.

All this destruction had been done while the three men slept.

Speechless, Tony and Steve simply looked around and then at each other.

They turned together to see what object drew Gibbs out of the house.

Tony could hear Gibbs talking to someone, demanding they get a unit over to the house immediately.

He heard Steve gasp as he finally realized what was sticking up out of the lawn.

It was a scythe, the long handle planted firmly into the ground, the wicked curved blade pointing directly towards the garden.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter....just saying.

Tony sat quietly on the back porch watching Metro process the crime scene.

Crime scene…..The second at his home in less than 3 days.

He stared at the mess that had once been Spence’s pride and joy and simply zoned out.

Sitting on the top stair, he tucked up his legs and with arms crossed, firmly leaned his elbows on his knees. He rested his chin on his arms and remained perfectly still.

He had been sitting in that position for at least 30 minutes. He had no knowledge of his time spent there but Gibbs knew. Gibbs watched Tony carefully as he assisted the Metro officers with the task at hand.

The scythe was measured and photos were taken. It was over five feet tall and the blade was almost 3 feet long. It looked old and well used-the long wooden pole was weathered; the blade sharp and menacing.

It was then removed from the lawn with gloved hands and placed in a plastic tarp to take to evidence.

Before it was covered over, Gibbs observed dark dry patches spattered about the light colored wood of the handle and wondered if it might be blood. He made a mental note to ask Abby to work with Metro to test that theory. Gibbs thought about Kate’s comment that a reaper used a scythe. He wondered if this was Hector “The Reaper” Zegarra’s calling card.

Gibbs moved away from the gaping hole the scythe handle had left behind to watch crime scene investigators look for foot prints in the trampled garden.

They made plaster cast imprints when clear prints were found.

Gibbs noted it didn’t look very promising but at least Metro was thorough. They had secured the house, front and back, with several uniformed officers and had a team of forensic specialists processing the scene.

Gibbs overheard one of the uniformed officers griping about the extent of work being done for an obvious case of vandalism. He let it go until he heard another officer whisper back.

“Did you know this is Riley Spencer’s house? I had no idea the guy was gay did you? I heard that’s his boyfriend over there.”

Gibbs saw a blonde uniformed officer nod his head over towards Tony.

“No shit?!” said the officer who had griped.

He then quietly added “I fuckin’ hate fags.”

“Yeah…me too.” The blonde shot back.

The two men sneered at each other in disgust and shared a laugh.

Gibbs had heard enough.

He stepped over to the two cops and stood in front of them, glaring from one to the other.

“Agent Gibbs, right?” the blonde officer asked cautiously.

Gibbs did not respond immediately.

He looked both men up and down and sized them up in seconds.

Young, both under 30, one was definitely a rookie but the other seemed more seasoned.

Gibbs glanced at their name plates- “Officer Scott Tipton” and “Officer Ben Harper”.

Tipton-5’9, 180 lbs., blonde hair, gray eyes. Harper- 6’, 210 lbs., dark hair and eyes. 

Gibbs huffed out a breath as he fought to control his temper.

His voice was low and steely when he finally spoke.

“Riley Spencer was my best friend…” Gibbs stated pausing for effect.

Tipton, the rookie, appeared regretful but Harper’s eyes hardened, his lips thinning.

Gibbs could feel rage begin to bubble up inside him but his face gave nothing away as he continued:

“… and that man over there….” Gibbs nodded towards Tony “is indeed Riley Spencer’s significant other….he also happens to be my second in command.”

Tipton paled, as Harper’s brows furrowed.

“You two think you can show a little respect while on the job?” Gibbs asked seriously.

Tipton looked sheepish as he said “Sorry about that Agent Gibbs. Riley Spencer was a good man and a great cop.” Tipton looked once at Harper and moved away from him, heading towards the garden exit.

Harper just stared back at Gibbs and said under his breath “We do not work for you Fed.”

Then he too turned away and followed Tipton’s path.

Gibbs sighed as he watched Harper leave.

‘What a hell of a way to start the day’ he thought as he looked around.

Metro was almost done and ready to leave.

Gibbs looked over at Tony and found he was still sitting in the same position.

It had been almost an hour and he had still not moved.

As Gibbs approached his SFA, he wondered what stage of grief Tony’s mind was processing now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Earlier

After Gibbs had called Metro, he ushered Steve and Tony back into the house.

Steve was happy to get back inside but Tony had protested.

He moved towards the garden to salvage something….anything…but Gibbs grabbed his arm warning him not to taint the crime scene.

Tony pulled away from Gibbs, indignant.

There was rebellion in Tony’s eyes as Gibbs pointed to the door and growled “Inside…NOW!”

Obeying a command from Gibbs was as natural as breathing for Tony so he did as he was told.

Once inside, Tony joined Steve at the kitchen table. Gibbs had been right behind Tony. He grabbed his coffee cup from the counter and joined them at the table waiting for Metro to arrive.

Gibbs sipped his coffee as Tony stewed in silence. Gibbs wondered if Tony would implode or explode. He hoped it was the latter. Gibbs was more than ready to take on a pissed DiNozzo.

Steve glanced between Gibbs and Tony waiting for some exchange between them.

Tony simply stared at the kitchen table and picked absentmindedly at something on the table top. Steve could not see what held his friends interest. He looked to Gibbs but he just sat stoically sipping his beverage while watching Tony.

Steve broke the silence asking:

“Who do you think did it?”

Steve had expected Gibbs to respond but it was Tony who spoke up.

Tony met Steve’s eyes as he responded.

“There are two people who currently want something from me. Linda Spencer wants the house and Hector Zegarra wants a piece of me.”

Tony then turned to Gibbs and added firmly:

“My money is on Hector Zegarra.”

Gibbs nodded in agreement and said “Linda wants you out of the house but I doubt she would have anything to do with this.”

Steve sat back and said nervously “Jesus…but you didn’t do anything to him Tony….I don’t understand…..”

“He’s a sick fuck, Steve…..”

The three men sat in silence again as Tony watched a bevy of emotions flicker across his friend’s face.

Steve’s eyes looked haunted and his mind seemed to be wandering.

Seeing his oldest friend in turmoil helped Tony come to a decision.

“Hey!” Tony said bringing Steve back to reality.

“After court today I want you on a plane back to Ohio.”

“What?! No way…” Steve looked startled.

Tony turned all his attention towards Steve and in a calm but firm voice said:

“Bro…you have done enough. I want you safe. If you can buy me thirty days to figure out what to do then you have helped me more then you know. I can’t take a risk of something happening to you Steve.”

“But…” Steve began to protest as Gibbs said:

“Tony’s right Steve….. I think it is best we get you out of here.”

“I’ll book you a flight now.” Tony said as he got up from the table and headed to the office.

Steve watched Tony walk away and when he was out of site said to Gibbs:

“I’m scared for my friend Gibbs. I don’t think I should leave.”

Gibbs smiled warmly. Steve thought it was the first time he had seen the man genuinely smile.

“Trust me, Steve” Gibbs said “it would ease Tony’s mind if you were safe in your own home.”

‘In another State’ Gibbs thought.

Steve nodded in understanding but he couldn’t help feeling like he was abandoning Tony.

“You’ll protect him?” he asked Gibbs.

“With my life….no one will get to him as long as I am still breathing.”

Ten minutes later, Tony walked back into the kitchen with a printed boarding pass.

He handed it to Steve and said:

“It’s done. You are on an 8 o’clock flight. We can have an early dinner and then get you to the airport.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had been restless and fuming as he paced around the kitchen waiting for the cops to get there. He periodically looked out at the garden and mumbled expletives under his breath. Steve and Gibbs just let him go, knowing so much drama was happening all around him and he needed to deal with it in his own way.

When Metro arrived, Gibbs arranged for Steve to have an armed escort accompany him to the courthouse.

“Thanks Boss” Tony said quietly as he walked with Steve and his escort to the front door.

Gibbs grew concerned as he watched Tony walk away.

The decisive DiNozzo was gone and there was a deflated look in his usual exuberant emerald eyes.

Gibbs watched as Steve and Tony spoke quietly then hugged.

Gibbs left them to meet with the investigators in the back yard. He advised the Metro investigators that any evidence they may find could be connected to a joint case Metro and NCIS were currently working on. As they got to work, Gibbs gave a full statement as to the events as he knew them.

Steve was to give his statement to the Officer accompanying him to court.

Tony gave his statement to a uniformed officer inside the house before coming outside to plant himself on the back porch.

Gibbs knew Steve’s and Tony’s statements would be very brief.

None of them had heard anything in the night.

After reprimanding Tipton and Harper, Gibbs attention turned back to Tony.

They had a long day ahead of them and Gibbs needed Tony back in the game.

As he made his way over to the porch, Gibbs thought about how he had hoped Tony would have harnessed his earlier anger and used it to muscle through all the pain.

It now appeared Tony had once again crawled deeply back inside his own head.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't now how to change the font when I transfer and edit this so let me preface this chapter by saying the beginning is a memory Tony is having. I know you are all smart enough to figure it out but my original text set all memories in italics and I can't do that here for some reason (I am sure it is me). I will also add I love Spence and appreciate that he took up residence in my head and forced me to type him into life.

“We all come from shit, Tone.”

Spence stated as he vigorously tilled his vegetable garden.

“That some movie line, Spence?” Tony asked, laughing, as he walked down the back porch stairs carrying two bottles of beer “‘Cause if it is, I haven’t seen it…although; it does sound like something Tarantino would write.”

Spence laughed heartily as he set the tiller aside and wiped his forehead with the back of his wrist.

“Nope….that gem is a Spencer original.” Spence smiled at Tony as he reached out for a cold beer.

The men tapped their beer bottles at the bottle’s neck then drank.

Tony admired Spence’s hard body as Spence chugged down half a bottle of beer.

Spence was shirtless and his skin and hair were sun kissed.

Small rivulets of sweat ran down his dust covered body leaving his chest looking like a tributary map.

Tony licked his lips and took another drink of his beer.

He moved in close to steal a kiss but pulled back quickly, crinkling his nose he said:

“Good God Spence! What the hell is that stench?”

Spence looked around the garden and then back at Tony and stated:

“Well come over here and I’ll show you.”

Tony backed up and said “Um…no thanks…I’ll see you inside. These shoes are Italian leather and that garden looks kinda…yucky….and…”

“Chicken shit!”

“What?!” Tony responded, slightly angry.

“I’m not a chicken shit! I just prefer you without that…that…stink….”

Spence roared with laughter and shaking his head said:

“The “stench” is chicken shit, Tony. Literally…..chicken shit!”

“Gross!” Tony replied looking around the garden like it was a toxic wasteland.

Spence downed the rest of his beer and handed the empty bottle back to Tony before Tony made his escape.

“You are such a wuss, DiNozzo!” Spence chided him with an amused look in his blue eyes.

“Chicken shit is the best manure for vegetable gardens” Spence added as he reached for the tiller.

“Hmmm…guess it gives a new meaning to the phrase “eat shit”!” Tony said smiling widely.

Spence frowned but his eyes showed he was amused.

He leaned against the tiller, unfazed by Tony’s sarcasm and said:

“Chicken shit makes the vegetables that we eat grow. That is a fact! We eat the vegetables that chicken shit grew and in turn we grow healthy and strong…so….we all come from shit!”

Tony chuckled at Spence’s sudden serious tone as he walked towards the stairs.

“It’s a good thing you became a cop, Spence…you would never make it in advertising”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony could see Gibbs walking towards him but he was not willing to return from the good memories….not just yet. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to stay in his mind.

Spence tilling his garden, picking vegetables, planting flowers…His laugh, his smile, his lips…

Tony knew, logically, Spence was gone but it was still so hard to really feel that he was truly gone.

Gone…. forever.

Tony heard the creaking of the wooden steps and felt the weight of them shift.

Gibbs body was warm against him as he sat close to Tony on the top step and threw a comforting arm around him. Tony inhaled the familiar scent of sawdust and old spice.

He opened his eyes and leaned into Gibbs, surrendering to the need he tried so hard to fight.

They sat together in silence for several minutes.

“C’mon Tony….”Gibbs broke the silence “Let’s get you inside.”

Gibbs stood and extended his hand to Tony. Tony took it, allowing Gibbs to pull him up.

His body ached all over and he wondered how long he had been sitting there.

He looked around the yard and the destruction finally sunk in.

Even if he found information that Spence was leaving him the house he wouldn’t stay.

Spence loved his house and he loved his garden….Tony loved Spence.

Without Spence, the house and the garden meant nothing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony allowed Gibbs to guide him into the house.

He sat down without question when Gibbs pulled out a chair for him at the kitchen table.

He sat silently, eyes focused nowhere in particular, simply listening as Gibbs moved around the kitchen. 

He accepted the glass of orange juice and the plate of scrambled eggs and toast Gibbs set in front of him 10 minutes later.

“Thanks boss” he said as he dug in.

He was famished and had not even realized it.

Gibbs took his plate when Tony was done. Gibbs refilled his coffee and made up a cup for Tony.

He set Tony’s cup in front of him and joined him at the table sitting directly across from him.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee and said:

“Okay….we need to talk about what happens next.”

Tony looked directly at Gibbs with confusion in his eyes.

“Next?” he asked quietly, like he wasn’t sure what Gibbs meant.

Gibbs tried his best not to appear annoyed. He knew Tony was emotionally fragile at the moment. He was actually surprised Tony snapped out of his self-imposed trance so easily. He took it as a good sign.

“Well I need to go to the office sometime today and I will not leave you here alone. Do you feel well enough to come with me?”

Tony thought about it for a few minutes and said “Maybe….but I’d rather stay here and wait for Steve to come back. I’d also like to visit Joe sometime today.”

Gibbs was pleased Tony was making decisions based on what he wanted to do. He had been worried at Tony’s mindless compliance when he guided him inside earlier.

“Okay….I need to make a few phone calls. Why don’t you go back to bed for a few hours and then take a shower. We’ll call Steve and see when he might be back. I can drop you off to visit Joe….have Doctor Jessup check on you…”

“NO!” Tony protested “I’ll see Joe…only Joe!”

Gibbs smirked, happy the riled Tony was making an appearance.

“Alright….but Ducky is going to be seeing you soon.” Gibbs warned

“Fine!” Tony said as he stood up grimacing in pain.

“I’m going to relax on the couch while you make your calls.”

“Good!” Gibbs said “Can I use the office computer?”

“Of course” Tony said as he gingerly stretched out on the sofa “The password is Semper Fi.”

Gibbs could tell the minute Tony was comfortable on the couch.

The pain in his face subsided as a comfortable, content look blossomed in its place.

Gibbs pulled the afghan from the back of the couch and covered him.

He then placed Tony’s pistol and his cell phone within reach on the coffee table.

“Thanks boss” Tony yawned as he wrapped himself tightly in the afghan and closed his eyes.

Gibbs set the alarm then headed in to the kitchen for another cup of coffee.

He began to organize his ‘to do’ list in his head.

He took stock of what was in the refrigerator. There was more than enough food to feed several people. The vegetable lasagna Abby put together would be perfect for what Gibbs had in mind for the evening.

He was comforted to hear Tony breathing deeply as he passed the couch heading towards the office.

Sitting at Spence’s desk, Gibbs set down his coffee and powered up the computer.

He pulled out his cell phone and made several calls.

He called Abby to advise her of his theory of possible blood on the scythe. She confirmed she would call Metro and get in the loop. When she asked about Tony, Gibbs simply told her to be at Tony’s no later than 5pm for dinner.

He called Ducky to request he stop by Tony’s house after work to check him out. Before he hung up he said “Dinner is at 5, Duck, so don’t be late.”

He called Balboa to discuss the upcoming meeting with Metro. Gibbs was relieved it had been re-scheduled for tomorrow to allow two criminal profilers to finish their reports on Hector Zegarra. Gibbs advised Balboa of the morning events at Tony’s and the possible tie in to their dual case. He also asked Balboa to release Kate and McGee at 4:30 so they could be at Tony’s house by 5pm.

Gibbs then called Kate to advise her to bring McGee and be at Tony’s house by 5pm for dinner.

Before she could say anything he hung up on her.

He called the Director and got him up to speed.

He confirmed he would be at the naval yard for the big meeting tomorrow.

With all his work related bases covered, he sat back and relaxed a bit.

His coffee mug was empty so he ventured back to the kitchen for a refill.

He was heading back to the office when Tony’s phone began vibrating.

Gibbs reached for it as it bounced along the coffee table.

Thankfully, Tony continued to sleep.

The caller ID showed it was Steve.

Gibbs answered quietly as he walked from the room.

“Hey Steve, it’s Gibbs” he whispered

“Oh, hey Gibbs…Tony alright?” Steve asked concern evident in his voice.

“He’s sleeping on the couch. Been out about 90 minutes…..everything okay on your end?”

“Yes…I was able to get Tony the 30 days.”

“That’s great Steve!” Gibbs sounded relieved.

“I just have a few things to tie up and then I’m committed to lunch with colleagues. I should be back at the house by 3 or 4.”

“Perfect…I invited the team over for dinner. They should all be here by 5. We’ll have that big vegetable lasagna and I’ll have two of my Agents get you to the airport.”

“Kate and McGee?” Steve asked

“Uh…yes…” Gibbs started to answer when Steve continued.

“That will be great! I haven’t seen them in a long time. It will be good for Tony to have a group around him tonight! Thanks Gibbs…see you guys in a few hours!”

Gibbs hung up wondering yet again how the hell everyone on his team met Steve before him.

Gibbs checked the time. He figured he would let Tony sleep for another hour and then they would need to get to the hospital to see Joe.

Gibbs had some personal research he needed to do on the internet.

It was time for stage one of “Operation: Woo DiNozzo” to begin.

Gibbs chuckled to himself knowing how shocked McGee would be to see how computer literate he actually was.

He pulled up two websites that featured the Night Sky Shower Room and did some comparison pricing.

He found himself looking at new kitchens and appliances as well.

His home was functional but very outdated. It had been a source of contention with every wife since Shannon to upgrade, but Gibbs never felt motivated to do it. Part of it was that he wanted the house to stand in memory to his girls. The house was exactly as it had been when they were alive.

He felt motivated now and it was all because of Tony.

Shannon would have loved Tony.

Gibbs knew in his heart she would approve.

He shuddered as a chill ran up and down his body.

Gibbs looked up from the computer screen and in his minds-eye he could see Shannon and Spence standing in front of him egging him on.

“DO IT GIBBS!” Shannon said.

“C’MON…YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!” Spence bellowed.

He could hear them laughing and see them high fiving each other.

They were co-conspirators. When they worked together they could get him to do anything.

His memory was of a time when Shannon and Gibbs took a trip with Spence and Linda to the Hamptons.

Spence’s parents had a vacation home there and Spence had it for a weekend.

Gibbs remembered Linda had done her best to put on airs but Spence would have none of it.

Linda had wanted to go to an extremely upscale restaurant but lost the vote when Gibbs sided with Shannon and Spence.

Linda had turned pissy and feigned illness when Spence and Shannon decided they just wanted to go to a dive bar and toss back pints of beer and shuck oysters. Gibbs was fine with the beer but he hated oysters.

Shannon had tried to convince Linda to come telling her there really wasn’t any kind of dive bar in the Hamptons but Linda would not be swayed. Shannon had cringed, looking at Gibbs with guilty eyes when Spence and Linda had a heated argument over their choice of entertainment.

The three of them went without Linda.

The bar was called “Awe Shucks” and it was a trendy restaurant trying to be dive.

He remembered Shannon and Spence had a fun time playing around with the bar’s name……some of the comments he could remember them coming up with were “Shuck you”, “Shuck up”, “Shuck off” and “Go shuck yourself”.

Gibbs laughed out loud remembering how Shannon had drunk both Spence and Gibbs under the table. She was a funny and happy drunk and had no shame, which delighted Spence. Unfortunately, Spence allied himself with Shannon to force Gibbs to try an oyster.

“Do it Gibbs!” she cheered him on.

“You only live once!” Spence said with a grin.

He finally succumbed to the pressure. He was outnumbered as Shannon and Spence ganged up on him and made a scene until he swallowed one of the horrendous, slimy, disgusting..…he cringed, thinking even now how gross he found oysters to be.

That had been a really fun night with the exception of his first, and last, oyster….and Linda’s hissy fit.

He came to a decision. Time for a major change.

In the back of his mind he rationalized that if Tony didn’t want to be with him at least he was increasing the resale value of his home.

‘Yeah right’ he thought ‘Like I give a shit about resale value’

“Failure is not an option!” he said aloud as he picked up his phone.

He scrolled through his phone contacts and when he reached “Conners, Bill” he hit send.

The phone was picked up on the second ring.

“Conners’ Construction” a gruff voice stated, somewhat annoyed.

“Hey Bill….thought you were retired.”

“Jethro!” Bill Conners laughed “You old S.O.B., what the hell do you want?”

Gibbs laughed and said:

“I need a contractor….someone I can trust and someone I know will do a great job….know of anybody that meets that description?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs talked to his old friend for about 20 minutes telling him what he wanted and what his budget was. He e-mailed Bill all the information including pictures of the counters and new appliances he wanted. He would make the cabinets himself but asked Bill to look at expanding the master bedroom to accommodate a larger walk in closet.

“Your front door still unlocked?” Bill asked

“Yep…do what you have to do, Bill. I am staying with a friend for a while.”

“You got a time frame for completion?”

“Six months or less if you can do it.”

“I think I can pull that off, Jethro. I’ll get started tomorrow.”

“Thanks Bill!”

Gibbs hung up with Bill feeling productive and satisfied.

He had one last call to make before he woke Tony.

Before he made the call he checked to see if Tony was still asleep.

Tony was still out like a light.

‘Operation: Woo DiNozzo stage two to commence now’

Gibbs thought as he returned to the office and dialed a number.

A pleasant female voice answered saying:

“Thank you for calling “A Touch of Glass”. How may I assist you?”

“I have an heirloom crystal vase that has been shattered into lots of pieces. I was wondering if your business offers hot glass work…”

“We certainly do! We can melt the crystal you have and rework it to recreate the exact vase if you happen to have a photo we can work from.”

Gibbs smiled and felt his body warm with joy as he replied:

“I was so hoping you’d say that.”


	32. Chapter 32

Two hours later, Gibbs and Tony were on their way to Bethesda to see Joe Alvarez.

Gibbs drove at a slower pace than usual as Tony rested comfortably against the passenger side door. He had his eyes closed but Gibbs knew he was awake. Tony had grown tired of Gibbs asking how he was doing so he had simply closed his eyes and feigned sleep. Gibbs fought back a laugh remembering the glare Tony had given him in response to the last “How ya doin’, DiNozzo?”

The stress of the last few days had gotten to them both.

After making his various calls, Gibbs had let Tony sleep another 90 minutes then woke him to get ready to start the day. Tony grumbled but shuffled upstairs to shower and get dressed.

Gibbs was happy to see that Tony seemed well rested when he came back downstairs.

His hair was still damp but he had spiked it a bit. He was wearing blue jeans and a black turtle neck with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Gibbs figured the turtle neck was to cover the bruises and lacerations around his neck. His face still bore the bruising and the cut over his eye was very prominent but Gibbs thought Tony was looking much better and told him as much.

Gibbs got a weak smile in return as Tony walked over to where Gibbs was standing by the coffee table to pick up his pistol and phone. He then grabbed his keys, wallet, badge and a jacket.

After setting the alarm, the two of them headed out to Gibbs car.

Gibbs caught a whiff of Tony’s cologne as he passed.

He smelled fantastic and Gibb fought the desire to nuzzle his neck and breathe him in.

To avoid that obvious faux pas he had started asking Tony how he was doing.

After the first three “I’m fine” and then the annoyed glare, Gibbs finally stopped asking him how he was.

Gibbs admonished himself for acting so out of character. He blamed the dream of the previous night. Images invaded his thoughts, distracting him, as he drove in the companionable silence. He knew there were more serious issues at hand then his craving for Tony.

‘Craving?’ Gibbs scolded himself ‘What in the hell…’

His phone rang, saving him from his obsessive thoughts, as he was just pulling into Bethesda’s visitor parking lot.

The sound of the ringing phone brought Tony to the alert.

He sat up as Gibbs parked and remained quiet as Gibbs answered his phone.

“Gibbs”

It was Tom Morrow.

Tony could make out the Director’s voice over the line but could only understand Gibbs side of the call.

“I’m at the hospital with DiNozzo…no…he’s alright. We’re here to visit Joe Alvarez.” Gibbs said as he turned to Tony. Even with all the sleep he had had, Gibbs noticed Tony was beginning to look tired. He wondered if he was in pain. He should have made Tony take a pain pill before they left.

The Director dominated the conversation for several minutes. The buzzing of his voice began to lull Tony to sleep. There were snippets of grunted responses from Gibbs until the conversation came to an end.

“….I see…..no, Monday may be better for all involved Director. Sure…I can be there in 20 minutes….” Gibbs said before hanging up.

“Change of plans?” Tony asked stifling a yawn.

“Yes….I have to get to the office for a quick sit rep. The big meeting that was scheduled for tomorrow has been changed to Monday morning. The Director has insisted the team take tomorrow off and the weekend to be ready to start fresh on Monday. Will you be okay if I leave you with Joe for a while? I’ll come back and get you in a few hours.”

“That’s fine boss…then we’ll be back in time for Steve to be home and then we can get the food started. Thanks again for inviting everyone. It will be nice to have the distraction.”

Gibbs nodded as Tony unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car.

“Give Joe my regards” Gibbs stated

“Will do” Tony replied as he started to close the door.

“And Tony?”

“Yeah Boss?”

“You should be safe here but….eyes and ears!”

Tony rolled his eyes at the child’s warning.

“Yes Dad” he said flatly then added animatedly “I’ll look out for “stranger danger”!”

He gave Gibbs a big grin and slammed the door.

Gibbs smiled and said “smart ass” under his breath as he watched Tony make his way to the hospital entrance. He could see the pain it took for Tony to walk normally. Gibbs could tell he was doing his best to put up a good front.

When he felt Tony was safely in the hospital, he backed up his vehicle and headed to the naval yard. A Touch of Glass was on the way so he decided to stop there first to drop off the crystal pieces. He had searched photo albums while Tony showered and found a perfect picture. Someone had taken a photo of Tony playing the piano and the vase was prominent in the foreground. The lighting was perfect and the design of the vase was very easy to see. The folks at “A Touch of Glass” should have no problem recreating Spence’s crystal vase.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony walked off the elevator onto the seventh floor not recognizing any of the Officers outside of Joe’s door. He pulled out his badge and ID and was allowed in to see Joe.

Joe looked better than he did when Tony had seen him last. He was watching a baseball game but shut off the volume as he saw Tony enter his room.

“Hey Joe!” Tony said affectionately, shaking Joe’s hand “How are you?”

“Tony!” Joe said happily pulling Tony in for a hug

“I’m so glad you came to see me….here…take a seat!”

Tony sat down in the chair next to Joe’s bed and scooted it closer.

Joe saw him wince in pain as he did and asked:

“How are you doing Tony?”

“I’m good Joe….you?” Tony deflected so sick of hearing that question.

“Much, much better” Joe said “I was hoping I would get to see you. They are moving me to the safe house within the hour so your timing is excellent.”

“I know Marie will be happy to have you with her and the kids.” Tony stated, happy that Joe would soon be with his wife and children “I know it has to have been really hard for all of you having to be apart.”

Joe just shook his head in agreement.

Tony noticed his eyes began to mist and he knew Joe was thinking about Spence.

They sat together in silence for a few minutes then Joe said:

“I miss my partner…life is not going to be the same for me. I can only imagine what you are going through Tony….you were the “one” for Spence. He loved you and let everyone know who would listen.”

Joe laughed then added “Even my Marie was a bit jealous that Spence was always talking about “his love” as she put it…he made the rest of us look bad!”

Tony smiled warmly, feeling both happy and sad at the same time. He felt his eyes burn and fought back the tears beginning to pool, seeking release. He bowed his head for a brief moment and wiped at his eyes. When he looked up and back at Joe he could see nothing but love and concern staring back.

“Thank you, Joe” He said quietly

Joe reached out and took Tony’s hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze before pulling back.

“So...catch me up” Joe said “What has happened since we last spoke?”

Tony took a deep breath and proceeded to tell Joe everything. He started from the beginning since Joe had been groggy their first meet.

“So Linda just stuck Spence in a hole? I had hoped I had hallucinated that.” Joe said with disdain and sorrow.

“I wish it was a hallucination….all of it really.” Tony said sadly “Steve was able to get me 30 days but I am not going to fight for the house, Joe. Not the same without Spence. I am hoping to find something that can give me power to override Linda’s authority regarding Spence’s burial and have a funeral.”

Joe sat back looking exhausted.

Tony felt bad that he had tuckered him out. The man had survived being shot in the back after losing his partner and friend and now had to worry about some crazed gang banger that may be gunning for his family.

It was all too much.

Joe seemed to be thinking hard. Tony let him, wondering if he should leave and let him rest. About five minutes later Tony watched as Joe’s face lit up with excitement. Joe pointed to the side table and said:

“Grab my wallet will ya….I think I may have something for you!”

Tony did as Joe requested a curious look on his face.

Joe rummaged through his wallet and minutes later said: “Ah ha!”

He handed Tony a business card that looked old and faded. It appeared to have been taking up residence in Joe’s wallet for years.

Tony read: “Sgt. Dan Coe, Metro DC retired, Attorney at Law”

There was phone and fax number-Tony noted there was no reference to an e-mail or website.

He turned the worn card over and read aloud the quote on the back:

“Brothers in Arms, Brothers in Law”

He cocked his head to the side and looked at Joe inquisitively.

“Ex-cop lawyer?”

“Yep” Joe said “A good one too. He handles estates and living wills for law enforcement and military. He helped me set my stuff up years ago. I turned Spence on to him about a year ago. I know he met with Dan but I don’t know if they ever set anything up. You should give him a call!”

Tony programed the information into his cell phone and handed Joe back the card.

“Thanks Joe.” Tony said appreciatively.

In his mind Tony doubted anything would come from it but he would give the information to Steve.

Joe’s doctor entered to check on him one final time before Joe was to be moved.

Tony gave Joe a hug and told him to be safe, kiss Marie and the kids for him and he would be in touch when he could.

Tony took a seat out in the hall and looked at the time. Gibbs wouldn’t be back to get him for at least 90 minutes. He debated taking a cab but knew his boss would be pissed. He leaned back debating if he should go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee when he heard his name being called.

“Hey Tony!”

Tony opened his eyes and smiled at the familiar face.

“Hey Mark….here to escort Joe to the safe house?”

“Nope” Mark Jensen said taking the seat next to Tony.

“I’m off protection detail and headed home. How have you been? Did your boss give you my card?”

Tony’s brows furrowed as he said “Your card?”

“Yes…I gave Gibbs a card and told him to give it to you in case you needed anything.”

Tony thought for a moment. Had Gibbs given him a card? He honestly did not remember.

“I could use a ride if it’s not too much trouble.” Tony said with a smile.

Mark Jensen’s eyes lit up as he placed a warm hand on Tony’s thigh and said:

“It’d be my pleasure.”


	33. Chapter 33

Gibbs got to “A Touch of Glass” in a quick seven minutes.

He found a space right out in front and was pleased the parking was free.

Getting out of the driver’s seat he ran a hand over his jacket pocket and was satisfied to feel the photo he selected nestled there. He moved from the driver’s door to the back of the car. He placed the key into the lock and opened the trunk. The strong scent of rose assaulted him and he was not surprised to find the eleven white roses had begun to brown and dry up with a lack of a water supply.

He was not prepared for the anomaly the red rose presented. It appeared as it was when he picked it up from the hardwood floor. The bud was tight and the petals where moist and pliable. It did not make sense. Gibbs didn’t have time to really think about it so he grabbed the bag of crystal shards and went into the shop.

Five minutes later he was back on the road heading towards the naval yard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sit rep had gone on longer then Gibbs anticipated.

Gibbs generally hated meetings of any kind. He despised waiting for the group to get organized and on to the subject at hand. In this case it was a meeting about a meeting-the upcoming NCIS/DC Metro joint investigation now scheduled for Monday morning.

Director Morrow was good about getting meetings back on course but it was the other participants that made Gibbs angry….they provided about 10% information and 90% bullshit.

It was almost at the two hour mark when Gibbs felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

He didn’t care if it looked rude….never be unreachable was a rule for a reason….he pulled his phone from his pocket and read the text.

It was from Tony and stated:

“Joe moved to safe house. Got ride home from cop who will stay with me. Don’t worry-c u soon”

Gibbs breathed out a sigh of relief as he tried to pay attention through the monotone of the current speaker.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meeting finally over, Gibbs had enough time to head to his own home.

He hadn’t been there for a few days and needed fresh clothes.

He was half way to his front door when he thought about the roses.

He quickly returned to his car to retrieve them.

Bringing them into the house he flipped on the lights and headed directly for the basement.

He found some twine and tied them together at the bottom of the stems.

He hung them, buds down, from a nail on the ceiling rafter that Shannon had placed there years ago.

He reached up and touched the red rose. It was still fresh and held its beauty.

Gibbs was stymied but looking at his watch he knew he had to go.

He took a step back and admired his work.

With a satisfied smirk he headed up the stairs.

He took a quick shower and changed into clean jeans and a navy blue USMC sweatshirt. He gathered up the fresh clothes he would need and tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper in the master bathroom.

Evidence that Bill Connors had already been there was spread out on the bed. Connors had left Gibbs a copy of the blueprints he had drawn up that extended the closet and remodeled the bathroom to accommodate the shower room.

Gibbs glanced over them quickly and laughed when he read the post it note at the bottom that read:

“If this suits you give me a call ya bastard!”

As Gibbs made it back to his car he made a mental note to call Bill in the morning and give him the go ahead. He then began to imagine how he was going to present Tony with the two surprises he had in the works. He began to worry how Tony would react so he compartmentalized his thoughts and shoved them to the back of his mind.

‘There is no rush’ he told himself as he drove back to Tony’s trying hard to believe it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He made it back to Tony’s by ten minutes after four.

He knocked on the door in case the alarm was set. Steve answered wearing a big smile.

“Gibbs!” he said jovially, stepping back to allow Gibbs to enter.

Gibbs smelled beer on Steve as he returned Steve’s greeting and stepped inside.

Gibbs noted Steve had been back long enough to change from his suit into jeans and a t-shirt. It also appeared he had downed a beer or two.

The house itself was filled with the wonderful aromas of home cooking.

Gibbs could hear Tony laughing and the sound of another man talking and joking around as Steve guided him back towards the kitchen.

Gibbs smiled hearing Tony’s laughter. He missed hearing Tony laugh.

Gibbs was happy Tony was already enjoying the distraction and the team wasn’t even there yet.

When Gibbs saw Mark Jensen sitting at the kitchen table nursing a beer, his smile faded.

When Jensen saw Gibbs his eyes darkened and his brows narrowed. Jensen’s smile dropped from his face and he remained silent as he raised his beer bottle to his lips.

Tony was standing at the stove stirring a large pot. He had changed as well. He was barefoot and wearing the ass hugging jeans Gibbs had seen him in the day before. He had on a grey t-shirt and a red kitchen towel was thrown over his left shoulder.

The sudden quiet caused him to turn around.

“Hey boss!” Tony greeted Gibbs with a happy grin.

He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer and handed it to Gibbs. He turned back to his task at hand so he was not witness to the silent showdown.

“You remember Mark Jensen, right?” Tony asked over his shoulder as Steve grabbed a beer for himself.

Steve then joined Mark at the kitchen table and watched the silent exchange between Gibbs and Jensen with curiosity.

Gibbs nodded and said “Yep” as he twisted the cap off his bottle and took a swig of the ice cold beer.

Steve shuddered as he watched animosity cloud Mark Jensen’s eyes.

If asked, Steve would swear that that one look dropped the temperature in the room by ten degrees.

Mark Jensen stood and turning towards Tony said quietly:

“I should get going Tony….”

“Huh?!” Tony said turning away from the stove “thought you were going to stay for dinner?”

“Thanks, but maybe another time. Enjoy your night and your friends. I’ll see ya soon.”

Tony pulled the towel from his shoulder and wiped his hands saying:

“Um…okay Mark…let me walk you to the door.”

As Tony followed Jensen towards the front door, Gibbs heard Tony thanking him for the ride home.

Their conversation became muted as Tony stepped outside on the front porch.

Mark Jensen did not say good bye to either Steve or Gibbs.

As it was, neither man cared.

Steve looked at Gibbs and stated with relief:

“That guy gives me the creeps. God, I’m glad he is not staying for dinner!”

Gibbs could tell Steve was buzzed.

“What about him gives you the creeps?” Gibbs asked

Steve looked towards the front door and then turned back to Gibbs and whispered:

“I got here right after Tony and Mark. Tony introduced us and then he headed up to change. Jensen was all smiles and friendly until Tony was out of earshot and then he was all over me with 20 questions!”

“Questions? What kind of questions?”

“Like how long had I known Tony? Why was I visiting, when was I leaving….he even asked if Tony and I had ever dated!”

“Seems pretty nosy” Gibbs stated with a calm exterior.

Inside he was anything but calm.

“I’ll say” Steve agreed “When I told him I wasn’t gay and that his questions were out of line, he laughed and asked me if YOU were gay and if you and Tony had ever been intimate! God…that bastard has some fricking nerve!”

Gibbs almost choked on his beer.

He withheld comment as Tony re-entered the kitchen but Steve was on a roll.

“Where in the hell did you meet that guy bro?! Jesus, he is like a Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde?” Steve asked a slight slur to his words. Gibbs almost laughed at Steve’s drunken indignation but Gibbs had a feeling there was nothing funny about Mark Jensen.

“What?!” Tony asked astonished “Mark? You have got to be kidding me! Wait, is that the reason you made the lame excuse to hang out in the office?”

“That dude has a thing for you bro…I made the lame excuse because I couldn’t stand to watch him watch you! Anytime your back was turned he turned predatory! Jeez Tony, he eyed you like a snake waiting to strike!”  
Tony stood there with a look of complete disbelief on his face.

He reached over and snatched Steve’s beer from the table and drank it down.

“Hey!” Steve protested

Tony set the empty bottle down on the table and pointing at Steve said “No more beers for you my friend…you are hallucinating….Mark is just an acquaintance I met through Spence. You are seeing things that just aren’t there.”

“Bullshit DiNozzo!” Steve yelled playfully “You call yourself an Investigator? You were a Detective for how many years? C’mon Tony….you have to have caught the vibe! Jeez…you are the biggest flirt I have ever known or seen and you tell me you can’t see it when it’s right in front of you?!”

“He was not flirting with me Steve!”

Steve rolled his eyes as Gibbs got up from the table and walked into the living room.

He heard Tony say “Besides Steve…..how am I supposed to see what is in front of me when you said he was watching me from behind…huh? Explain that!”

Gibbs smiled at their playful drunken banter but Gibbs gut was flaring in warning over Mark Jensen.

He pulled out his phone and dialed McGee.

“Hey Boss” Tim McGee answered immediately and he sounded nervous when he added:

“I’m running late but the others should be there soon!”

“You still at the office?” Gibbs asked gruffly.

“Uh…yeah” Tim sounded apologetic but Gibbs was proud he didn’t say “sorry”.

“Well, good!”

“Boss?”

“Before you head over here McGee, I need you to get me as much info as you can on a DC Metro cop named Mark Jensen.”


	34. Chapter 34

The vegetable lasagna was ready by 5 pm, as planned, and everyone was at Tony’s house with the exception of McGee.

They all agreed to wait for him, Gibbs assuring them Tim was on his way.

Tony, Abby, Kate and Steve gathered in the kitchen setting up for dinner, buffet style, while Gibbs and Ducky took refuge in the living room.

The two old friends each nursed a glass of bourbon as they sat on the couch and watched with amusement the scene in front of them.

The four younger people joked around and laughed together. Abby and Steve chatted enthusiastically as Abby arranged the food on the kitchen counter and Steve pulled out dishes from the cupboard above her. Kate stood next to Tony, who was pouring the extra tomato sauce he had prepared into a serving bowl. She took the bowl from him and set it next to the lasagna and when she turned back towards him he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her close. She verbally protested but did not resist as he shoved a marinara laden wooden spoon close to her lips.

Gibbs strained to hear what Tony said to her as she threw her head back and laughed, then leaned forward letting Tony spoon feed her the sauce. Gibbs missed the verbal exchange but he smiled as Kate smacked her lips and nodded her approval. He saw Tony smile and toss the wooden spoon into the sink.

When Tony turned back to face Kate, Gibbs watched as she reached up and took Tony’s face gingerly in her hands. Tony leaned down as she drew him forward. As she kissed his forehead, just above the cut over his brow, he closed his eyes. She then hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear. Gibbs saw Tony hug her back and when Tony opened his eyes Gibbs could see his eyes were misty.

The intimate moment between them surprised Gibbs. They were usually at each other’s throats but Gibbs could see the genuine care and love they had for each other.

“So how is he Duck?” Gibbs asked before taking a sip from his glass.

Ducky had arrived about fifteen minutes early and had done a quick examination of Tony’s injuries.

“Hmm…physically he will be fine…” Ducky said “Mentally…well I would ask for your opinion on that.”

Before Gibbs could respond, there was a gentle knock on the front door.

He set his glass on the coffee table and rose to answer it.

“Be right back Duck…need to talk to Tim outside for a minute….”

“Very well, Jethro.” Ducky said as he too stood and headed towards the kitchen “I will let the others know.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Hey boss” McGee said as Gibbs opened the door, stepped out on the porch and closed the door behind him.

Gibbs nodded in greeting and cut to the chase.

“What do you have on Jensen, McGee?”

“Right…” McGee said before he started presenting Gibbs with the facts.

“Mark Jensen has been with Metro for close to fifteen years. His service record is impressive actually… he has a few commendations in his file.”

“What kind of commendations?” Gibbs asked

“He was awarded a commendation for his off-duty participation in the arrest of three armed individuals who had robbed a Starbucks in DuPont Circle. The second was for excellence in Law Enforcement service and a third was for bravery under fire. He actually saved his partner, several Asian tourists and the perp during a shootout near the Vietnam Memorial wall….you may remember two years ago when some Vietnam vet went berserk and….”

“Jensen was THAT cop?!” Gibbs interrupted surprise evident in his voice.

“Yep” McGee said

Gibbs wanted to hate Jensen but couldn’t. This last bit of information changed everything.

‘The guy was a fucking hero’

Gibbs sighed and said “What else did you find Tim?”

“The guy is squeaky clean boss….pays his bills timely, has an excellent credit rating and a fair amount of money in the bank….He volunteers time at the Boys Club of America where he coaches basketball and is a karate instructor…he himself is a sixth level black belt and an expert kick boxer….”

“Family?” Gibbs interjected

“Single, no kids….lives alone.”

“Where is he originally from? Parents?”

“Villisca, Iowa….his parents are both deceased. They died when Jensen was fifteen.”

“Villisca? That sounds familiar…”

“Small farming town in Iowa known for a brutal axe murder in the summer of 1912…..”

“How did the parents die?” Gibbs asked cutting McGee off.

“House fire….smoke inhalation.”

“Where was Jensen when it happened? Was he home?”

“Yes….he escaped the fire.”

Gibbs processed the information then asked.

“So what happened to Jensen after his parent’s death?”

Gibbs waited impatiently for McGee to continue.

“Jensen had no living relatives so he was placed at Boys Town in Nebraska until he was eighteen. He went to college in Lincoln where he double majored in criminology and psychology……he applied to and was accepted by Metro after graduation.”

“Any information on him from fifteen to eighteen…before he went to college?”

“Well that is where I hit a road block.”

“What kind of roadblock McGee?”

“Well…Jensen has a juvenile record that has been permanently sealed.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dinner was delicious and the conversation was light, spontaneous and full of laughter.

For an hour Tony’s mind was in the moment.

Things were winding down and it was almost time for Kate and McGee to drive Steve to the airport.

“I want to make a toast” Tony slurred the words a bit as he stood up from the piano bench he shared with Abby and lifted his beer bottle.

He could feel his eyes tearing up but he was beyond caring. He watched as Steve and his team…his friends, his family…stood to join him.

“To Spence!” Tony said looking first up to the heavens and then around to the people he loved most in the world.

“To Spence!” they repeated lifting assorted bottles and glasses into the air before taking a drink.

Tony’s smile was melancholy as he continued:

“Thanks to Abby for making the wonderful lasagna….I’m so happy we could enjoy one last meal from Spence’s garden….together.”

There were smiles all around and a chorus of compliments aimed directly at Abby for the wonderful meal.

“Thanks Abs” Tony finished for them as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

When Abby looked like she might burst into tears, Steve intervened by stepping forward and hugging her. He looked at Tony over Abby’s shoulder and said:

“I need to get ready bro…will you come upstairs with me?”

Tony simply nodded in agreement and turned towards the stairs as Steve released a now smiling Abby.

“Thanks Steve” she whispered softly as together they watched Tony ascend the stairs.

“Keep an eye on Tony for me Abby…call if you think he might need an additional friend.” Steve looked from Abby to Ducky, Kate, McGee and Gibbs and added “I know I am leaving him in excellent hands.”

Abby nodded as Gibbs said “Thanks Steve for all you have done for Tony.”

Steve smiled brightly at the assembled group just before he turned and sprinted up the stairs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony sat on the bed in the guest room waiting for Steve. He looked around and everything looked like it had before Steve arrived. The only thing out of place was Steve’s suitcase which was already packed and waiting by the bedroom door. Tony wondered why Steve wanted to see him alone. He tried his best to fight off the cold feeling of loneliness that began to spread under his skin.

Steve was about to leave….back to Ohio…back to his family. Kate and McGee would be leaving with him. Then Ducky would leave and Abby….he hoped Gibbs wouldn’t decide this was the night he needed to get home as well. Tony didn’t know if he could make it through the night by himself.

He shook bad thoughts away knowing his brain was still floating in a beer buzz.

He chuckled to himself remembering Ducky’s stern glare directed his way every time he opened another bottle and took a swig. Tony knew he was being rebellious and juvenile. He couldn’t help himself though. Gibbs had forced him away from the stove and into Ducky’s care the minute Ducky arrived. Then he had to endure the “tsk, tsk” of an annoyed Doctor Mallard as he got the speech on how painkillers and alcohol do not mix and that the behavior is dangerous and blah, blah, blah.

He knew he should apologize and decided he would if he could remember to follow through once he sobered up.

“Hey” Steve said, slightly out of breath as he walked into the room.

Tony looked at him questioningly but remained silent.

“I wanted to discuss a few things with you, alone, attorney/client ya know?”

Steve was annoyed he didn’t have a chance to talk to Tony earlier due to that creepy cop, Mark Jensen, being present.

Tony nodded his head slowly gazing up at Steve. He was suddenly very tired and was having a hard time comprehending the situation. Steve could see the mental disconnect as he sat down next to Tony and asked seriously:

“Tony...are you still buzzed?”

Steve had stopped drinking when Tony snatched the beer away from him almost two hours ago.

Tony had indulged continuously.

Tony meant to say “Yes” but is came out sounding like “yesh”.

Steve laughed and said:

“Can I call Gibbs up to hear this?”

“Sh-ure” Tony agreed as Steve got up and walked to the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs joined the friends immediately after Steve called down for him.

He sat next to Tony, who listed to his side, bumping into Gibbs.

The light head slap brought Tony around.

“Pay attention DiNozzo!” Gibbs grumbled looking from Tony over to Steve who stood in front of them.

“So Tony you have 30 days unless Linda fights the order….if she interferes she could demand you leave within 2 weeks….but that still gives you some time. I called Walter to advise him of the situation and although he says he is no longer representing her, he agreed to contact her to let her know what is going on.”

“Okay….” Tony said sobering a bit “Thanks bro for doing all you have done. I have decided to move. I don’t want to stay here without Spence….it would never seem right to me…Abby called a friend of hers earlier today. She is a realtor and will be taking us around on Saturday.”

Gibbs turned to look at Tony with surprise.

“You and Abby are going house hunting on Saturday?” he said slightly annoyed that he was just learning of Tony’s plans at that moment. He hoped he didn’t sound hurt or worse, jealous, but Steve and Tony showed no sign of interpreting it that way.

“Apartment hunting boss…” Tony said sadly “I don’t need much now that I am….alone.”

Gibbs wanted to grab Tony and shake him. He wanted to scream that he was not alone but he sat stoically knowing Tony was incapacitated at the moment. He wondered when Tony had finalized this decision and when Abby got involved. He realized Abby must have called her friend right after she arrived that evening. Gibbs had observed Abby and Tony having a quiet conversation and then she excused herself, heading back to the office to make a phone call.

Gibbs remembered when she returned she had said to Tony “Saturday ok?” and he had nodded yes. Nothing else was mentioned so Gibbs let it go. He wondered why Tony had not asked him to help.

His thoughts were interrupted as Steve said “Okay Tony…I’ll call you in a few days. I made copies of all the documents you had and will continue researching for a loophole. Especially regarding your desire to honor Spence with a proper burial…call me if anything else….”

“WAIT!” Tony shouted standing up suddenly.

Gibbs and Steve were taken aback but quickly recovered.

“Sorry…” Tony said sheepishly “I just remembered that Joe Alvarez gave me the number to a lawyer Spence might have talked to a year ago…the information is in my phone!”

Steve grabbed his suitcase and headed towards the stairs saying:

“Great….let’s go get the info and I’ll call on your behalf tomorrow morning!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ducky said his goodbyes shortly after Kate and McGee left with Steve in tow.

Abby kissed Ducky on the cheek as he said “Goodnight Abigail…thank you again for the wonderful lasagna.”

Tony and Gibbs walked Ducky out to his car. Tony was in the middle of an apology as Gibbs scanned the neighborhood for signs of trouble. Satisfied things seemed safe; Gibbs relaxed a bit and focused back on Tony and Ducky’s conversation.

“……so I am really sorry to be such a difficult patient Ducky!” Tony said as Ducky unlocked the door of his Morgan.

Ducky smiled up at Tony and said:

“It is alright Anthony…no need to further apologize dear boy, just DO NOT take any pain medication tonight….”

“Um” Tony stammered looking to his left then back into Ducky’s eyes.

The smile faded from Ducky’s face as he said “Anthony! When!?”

“About 20 minutes ago….right after Steve left…”

Ducky rolled his eyes and turning to Gibbs said “Keep your eye on him Jethro. He will probably sleep through the night but if there are problems…”

Ducky turned back to Tony glaring at him with furrowed brows and with cold anger in his eyes said:

“Call an ambulance and have him taken directly to Bethesda!”

The lack of any humor in the ME’s voice caused Tony to grimace and take a step back. Tony looked over at Gibbs but got no sympathy from him.

The glare still in place, Ducky harrumphed and got behind the wheel of his car.

“Goodnight gentlemen!” he said just before speeding off into the night.

As the two men headed back to the house, Tony looked at Gibbs and with an attempt at humor said:

“Guess it’s not a good idea to piss off your Doctor, huh boss?”

Gibbs smirked and said sarcastically “Ya think, DiNozzo?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abby had stayed and was helping Gibbs clean up. Tony had been at their sides cleaning as well, but Abby and Gibbs knew he was fading fast. When Gibbs grabbed Tony’s arm and marched him over to the couch he did not protest as Gibbs demanded he lay down and sleep.

“Thanks boss” he yawned, getting comfortable.

Tony closed his eyes but before Gibbs could walk away, Tony opened his eyes, panicked.

“Will you be staying again tonight boss?” he asked hopefully.

Gibbs could see fear and pain in Tony’s green eyes.

Gibbs sat down on the coffee table so he and Tony were more at eye level.

Gibbs had to fight the urge to simply lean down and kiss him.

Instead he said “I told you I would be staying as long as you need me Tony. Rest…I’ll wake you up after Abby heads out.”

Tony looked over at Abby and said “Do you want to spend the night too, Abs?”

“McGee’s coming back to get me Tony…but thanks…you get some rest….I’ll see you on Saturday…bright and early!”

“Okay” Tony said

He was sound asleep in seconds.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The cleaning finally done, Gibbs poured a cup of coffee for himself and Abby. He carried the steaming beverages with caution as he moved to join her at the kitchen table.

“Thanks boss man!” She said as she picked up the mug he had set in front of her and took a sip.

Few people knew Abby drank coffee…fewer knew she liked it strong and black just like Gibbs.

They enjoyed their coffee in companionable silence.

Abby broke the silence as she whispered “How long are you going to wait?”

“Wait?” He whispered back “Wait for what Abby?”

Abby crossed her arms and sat back in her chair and stared at him.

“Really, Gibbs? Don’t play coy…..when are you going to make your move?”

She tipped her head in Tony’s direction so there was no misunderstanding what she meant.

Gibbs glared at her but Abby merely smiled back, her pale green eyes twinkling mischievously.

Gibbs knew then he was busted. It figured she knew about his feelings for Tony. Ducky had told him Abby had confided in Ducky that Tony had professed his love for Gibbs to her. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Gibbs might have feelings for Tony in return.

Gibbs sighed and looked down for a moment.

He smiled to himself thinking ‘….but a forensic scientist who knew them both really well could...’

He debated getting up and storming off in anger but he knew that action would be a lie. He realized having both Ducky and Abby as allies in his quest for Tony’s heart could be very advantages.

Gibbs looked over at Tony’s sleeping form and with a nod of his head towards the office he got up from the table and walked away. Abby stood and carrying her coffee, followed him quietly so as not to disturb Tony as he slept.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“How long have you known?” he asked quietly.

“You just confirmed it actually….”

“Dammit, Abby!” he yelled in a hushed whisper.

“What?!” she replied with a shrug then said:

“I have suspected for a long time but you hide yourself really well Gibbs.”

He frowned at her.

“Oh…not with me!” She assured him “You are most “Gibbs like” with me!”

“Gibbs like?” he said in a demanding tone.

“Well yeah….kind, caring, sweet, loving….not the yelling, angry, frowning Gibbs I am currently speaking with!”

Her knowing smile began to infuriate him.

“You are the hidden Gibbs with your team…gruff and demanding with high expectations that they leap through any hoop you present. They leap happily to please you….especially Tony. You play the bastard and your team digs down to be their best because they respect you and they vie for your attention and any scrap of praise they hope you throw their way….”

He crossed his arms and tried to glare at her but the sting of her words hurt him deeply.

She must have seen it in his eyes because her smile faded and she stepped forward to embrace him.

“Your methods make your team exceptional Gibbs…..”

Gibbs hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

She pulled back from him and said “Work is not your problem.”

He felt confused, wondering where she was going with all of this.

“So what is my problem Abs?” he asked

She placed her right hand over his heart and said:

“Your problem is you love deeply and yet you deny yourself the pleasures that could come from revealing that truth to the person you have loved for years.”

Gibbs didn’t want to hear anymore.

He shook his head trying not to think about the truth she was sharing.

So he smirked and with a dismissive laugh said:

“You sound like you are quoting a philosopher, Abby. Where did you get that idea anyway?”

She looked him directly in the eyes and said “Riley Spencer”.

Before Gibbs had a chance to respond there was a knock at the door and then the door swung open.

Tony stood in the door frame disheveled from just waking up.

“Sorry to interrupt…” Tony yawned out an apology too tired to notice the tension in the room.

He rubbed his hands over his face and yawned again saying “McGee’s here Abby.”

Tony turned around and shuffled back towards the front room adding:

“He’s in the head…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Goodnight boss…..’Night Tony!” McGee said as he stepped out on the porch and surveyed the neighborhood as he walked towards his sedan.

McGee did not hear Tony’s muffled response from the couch as Tony had repositioned himself face down and placed a pillow over his head.

“Night McGee…”Gibbs said as he watched Tim walk away making sure Abby would be safe before she left the house.

“We’ll talk again soon, Abs.” he said

“Okay boss man…..you know I love you right?” she said nervously.

“Of course…and you know I love you too Abby….right?”

She beamed at him and said “I know!”

He kissed her cheek and when he saw that the sedan was safely away he closed the door and locked it.

He looked over at Tony’s still form on the couch and he sighed.

Gibbs made the rounds around the house making sure all doors were closed and windows shut and locks latched before he set the alarm.

He then poked at Tony and said “C’mon Tony….time to head upstairs to bed.”

When Tony didn’t move he yelled “Upstairs to bed…NOW DINOZZO!”

Tony went from sleep to moving in less than 30 seconds. As Tony rushed towards the stairs he tripped and Gibbs caught him before he took a dive face fist onto the floor.

“C’mon Tone….one step at a time…..”

As Tony staggered he said “Okay Spence…gim’ me a chance….will ya?!”

Gibbs didn’t correct Tony when he mentioned Spence’s name.

He silently helped Tony get onto his side of the bed.

As Tony lay on his back, never opening his eyes, Gibbs pulled the comforter up to cover him.

Gibbs could tell from the pattern of Tony’s breathing he was already asleep. He watched Tony for a while thinking about the weird, but enlightening, conversation he had had with Abby.

She had been so brutally honest with him it unnerved him. He had a lot he needed to think about.

As Gibbs headed downstairs to turn off the lights he wondered when Spence had talked to Abby about his “problem”.

Lights out, he returned to the master bedroom.

He locked the bedroom door and placed his sig and his phone on the nightstand. He brushed his teeth and climbed into bed.

He lay there staring at the ceiling and wondered if he should read for a while.

Deciding to try to get some sleep he leaned over and turned off the light.

As he lay back down, Tony rolled over from his position and draped himself over Gibbs body; his head lay on Gibbs chest as his right arm lay over Gibbs stomach.

“Night Spence” Tony mumbled as he gave Gibbs an affectionate hug and snuggled down to sleep.

Gibbs froze in place not knowing what to do.

Tony’s body was warm against him and after a few minutes Gibbs relaxed enough to lower his left arm down and around Tony’s body and hold him close.

When he felt it was safe he moved his hand up to Tony’s head and stroked his hair.

It was softer then he imagined it would be.

Gibbs thought of Spence and wondered if he would be outraged if he could see his best friend and his lover lying together in his home, in his bed.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as a tear slid down his left cheek.

His gut told him Spence would not be mad in the least.

In fact, he imagined Spence would simply say:

“It’s about time.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Bobdog54 and a wish for a speedy recovery

When the sun rose the next morning, Leroy Jethro Gibbs woke to find himself in the same position in which he had fallen asleep-on his back holding Anthony DiNozzo very close.

Tony had not moved an inch either and his even breathing let Gibbs know he was still sound asleep.

Gibbs remained perfectly still. He would savor the time he had with Tony.

He knew it may never happen again.

Relaxing, he looked around the room, captivated by the colors of sunrise that filled it-warm colors of yellow, orange and golden brown fought against a hint of crimson pink.

Gibbs enjoyed the simple beauty of it.

Gibbs was an “up before dawn” Marine and was hard pressed to even recall the last time he had been awakened by the light of sunrise.

He also had to think back to the last time he had slept this close to another person he found he was so naturally comfortable with.

The only person that came to mind was his Shannon.

Gibbs fought back the emotional pain that surfaced with that realization.

Spence had been right, Gibbs denied himself. He wondered if he could allow himself happiness. He knew that he would have to take the steps to make Tony his. He would have to shed the “hidden Gibbs” as Abby described him and be the Gibbs Abby knew him to be. It was going to be a struggle but he wanted what he had in that exact moment for the rest of his life.

He wanted to wake up every morning to find Tony in his arms.

As Tony began to stir against him, Gibbs held his breath. He wondered how Tony would react when he opened his eyes and looked up to see he was not snuggling Spence. Gibbs felt a twinge of guilt and fear at the deception he allowed when he did not make it clear to Tony that he was not Spence.

Tony’s judgment had been impaired but Gibbs was stone cold sober. He had no excuse. Besides he knew the old “we were both drunk and things happened” scenario had already been played out between them years ago.

Gibbs lay there hoping that Tony would just turn over to his side of the bed. He moved slightly trying to nudge Tony to respond.

Gibbs did not have long to wait as Tony shifted and moved his arm. He grasped Gibbs left hip and hugged Gibbs tightly whispering a muffled “Good morning” against Gibbs chest.

The weight of Tony’s arm was now pressing on Gibbs bladder and he was not left with many options-nature was screaming and he needed to get up.

‘Here we go’ he thought as he disengaged from Tony’s hold.

“Good morning” Gibbs said as he rolled to his left and sat up.

As Gibbs moved to the left Tony rolled over to the right, grabbing his pillow and snuggling down without even opening his eyes.

Gibbs stood and stretched. He felt more relaxed and rested then he had in years.

As he walked to the bathroom his eyes never left Tony.

Tony seemed to be deep in sleep and Gibbs felt a sense of relief.

He smiled at his own reflection as he passed the large mirror over the sinks.

Business done, he stood at a sink and washed his hands then splashed water on his face. He was toweling his face dry when he saw Tony staring at him from his position on the bed.

Tony laid there, his face reflecting a mixture of shame and distress. He looked embarrassed and Gibbs knew in that moment Tony was quite aware of how their night of slumber had gone down.

Gibbs set the towel on the counter and turned from the mirror to look at the younger man.

Tony held his gaze and stammered:

“Boss…I..um…I’m so…sorr…”

Gibbs took immediate control of the situation by cutting Tony off saying:

“Not your Boss here Tony…..I am glad you are awake. I know you and Abs are spending tomorrow together so Saturday is covered. I was hoping you would spend today with me…unless you have other plans?”

Tony looked confused as Gibbs walked over to the bed and looked down at him.

The confusion changed to intrigue as Tony said:

“I don’t have plans….but…uh….you really want to spend a day with me that isn’t work related?”

Gibbs smiled and said:

“Yes…I would like that very much. The past few days have been hell all around and Monday is going to come quickly and it will be back to business as usual. Today I’d like to go to breakfast and get errands done and I’d like you to accompany me. I have decided to remodel my kitchen and I’d like your opinion in that regard.”

Tony’s brows narrowed as he watched Gibbs lips move. Gibbs was actually conversing with him in fully formed sentences and he was having a hard time processing that. Gibbs was being pleasant and he was smiling and he was being nice.

‘Too nice’ Tony thought.

Tony sat up and said:

“Wait a minute! Am I dreaming this? I must be dreaming right now….YOU want ME to spend a casual day with you and you want me to give MY opinion for a kitchen remodel?”

“Yes” Gibbs said “is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes…”

Tony laughed as Gibbs smile faded and his features took on an annoyed look.

“Why?” Gibbs asked sincerely.

“Well….It’s just so un-Gibbs like!” Tony said continuing to chuckle until he noticed Gibbs actually looked like his feelings were hurt.

‘Was that even possible?’ he thought before adding:

“I mean, it just seems so out of character for you…wanting to spend time with me casually…it has been a long time ya know?”

Gibbs knew that was the truth. He could count on one hand the number of times he had spent casual time with Tony or Spence since he had introduced the two men two years ago. His distance from the two men was very evident with his introduction to Steve.

Steve didn’t even live in DC but he seemed to be very present in Tony and Spence’s lives and the lives of his team.

“I know…..I hope to change that Tony.”

Tony could see in Gibbs eyes and in his demeanor that something had changed within the man.

Tony wasn’t sure how to react to the warmth and honesty of feelings he heard and saw.

He decided if it wasn’t a dream he would accept it as a gift.

He smiled up at Gibbs and said:

“I would love to spend the day with you…Jethro.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony showered in the guest bath while Gibbs showered in the master bath.

When he was done, Tony grabbed his sneakers and socks and met Gibbs downstairs in the kitchen.

Gibbs was standing at the kitchen counter, his back to Tony as he pulled out a kitchen chair, sat down and began to put on his socks.

Tony looked up from his task to find he was at eye level with Gibbs ass.

He took a few minutes to enjoy seeing Gibbs was wearing well fitted black jeans.

Tony met Gibbs gaze and smiled up at him as Gibbs turned from the kitchen counter and handed Tony a cup of coffee with the perfect blend of sugar and hazelnut creamer.

“Thanks” Tony said as he took a sip and then set his cup on the table.

Tony looked down at what he was wearing and back up at Gibbs who was wearing a navy blue sweatshirt with USMC, in yellow, boldly across his chest.

With the exception of their shoes, the two men were dressed exactly alike.

Tony laughed uncomfortably and said “Maybe I should go and change?”

Gibbs was just finishing off his mug of coffee and as he set the cup in the kitchen sink asked:

“Why?”

“Well….since I’m not a Marine maybe I shouldn’t……”

“Are you trying to pass yourself off as a Marine?”

“NO!” Tony responded indignantly.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“No problem…just…I don’t know…I just….” Tony stopped speaking and looked down at his sweatshirt.

Using both hands he bunched up the fabric and brought it to his nose and inhaled.

“You honor Spence by wearing it Tony….and it smells like him doesn’t it?”

“Yes it does….” Tony said as he straightened down the sweatshirt. He looked up at Gibbs and asked:

“Do you think I’m weird wearing his clothes?”

“No I don’t” Gibbs said with a quiet reverence “You love him and he’s gone. You want to stay close to him and we both know smell is the greatest link to memory.”

Tony nodded his agreement as Gibbs added:

“Enjoy it as long as you can Tony….memory is all you’ll have when it fades away.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from personal experience, Jethro.”

Tony cringed inwardly as the sentence left his lips. He tried to school his features.

He could kick himself for not thinking how Gibbs might take it.

Tony was not supposed to know about Shannon and Kelly.

Gibbs was a master interrogator and could easily see deception in people he just met. He knew Tony for years and nothing got by Gibbs when it came to the “DiNozzo deflection”.

Gibbs quelled Tony’s discomfort saying “That’s a story for later…right now I am starving…..how about we hit the diner on the way over to my house? Then I need to take some measurements and get my truck.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony felt like a stuffed turkey as he waddled behind Gibbs following the older man towards his front porch.

Both men had ordered the lumberjack breakfast at the local diner and Tony finished all of his and polished off what Gibbs was going to leave behind.

Gibbs smirked as Tony held his stomach and groaned:

“Jeez Gibbs….I think you’ll need to roll me up your front porch stairs. You know…like the oompa loompas rolled Violet Beauregard off to the juicing room….”

“Well you did eat enough blueberry pancakes to warrant a juicing” Gibbs laughed

Tony stopped dead in his tracks.

“Did you just get one of my movie references?” he asked shocked.

Gibbs smiled saying “Yep….“Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”…..great movie but a better book…”Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” was one of Kelly’s favor….”

Tony’s jaw dropped as the two men just looked at each other taken completely by surprise.

Tony, surprised into silence not knowing how to respond, and Gibbs, surprised that he had let his guard down after all the years he had kept his girls a secret from almost everyone in his life.

Gibbs sighed and looking Tony directly in the eyes said:

“Kelly was my little girl….my daughter. She was murdered along with her mother…my first wife, Shannon.”

Tony gulped and with barely a whisper said “I know.”

The sorrow in Gibbs eyes was raw. Tony was startled to see how much pain Gibbs felt even after all the years his wife and daughter had been gone. He couldn’t help himself…he stepped up to Gibbs and hugged him tightly.

He clung to Gibbs for several minutes, happy that Gibbs had accepted the embrace without resistance.

When Tony stepped back he could see Gibbs eyes were misty.

Tony reached up and wiped his own wet eyes.

“Who told you, Tony?” Gibbs asked “Spence?”

“No….Spence never said a word. Linda taunted me with the information when she and her lawyer were at the house. She found a picture of herself with you and Spence. She told me Shannon had taken the photo. She tried to imply that you and Spence were keeping secrets from me. She actually said that if I didn’t know about Shannon and Kelly….”

“Linda has always been a shit disturber Tony….” Gibbs said.

“I get that Jethro…..I’m sorry….please know we never have to mention them again…I won’t tell anyone…”

The love Gibbs felt for Tony tripled in that moment. He fought to contain his emotions as he said:

“No….I want to talk about them Tony….Shannon was the love of my life and Kelly…….Kelly was our reason for living. When I lost them both I almost ate a bullet….if it wasn’t for Mike Franks and Spence….we would not be having this conversation.”


	36. Chapter 36

“I would love to hear all about them and I would love to see pictures! Anything you want to share with me Jethro.”

“Thanks Tony….there is something I’d like to share with you later tonight…but first I would like your help in making some changes to this old house.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs put on a pot of coffee and Tony took up residence in a kitchen chair.

Gibbs spent about an hour taking measurements of his cabinets and appliances. He wrote everything down as Tony perused through home improvement magazines & design catalogues and gave his opinion.

“I like that you are going with the stainless steel appliances…..and you can never go wrong with oak!”

Gibbs smiled as he jotted down some numbers.

“I think the granite you picked for the counter tops is really great, Jethro….and the name of it is so you “Imperial Coffee”…..if you spill your coffee in the morning you’d never know it…it would blend right in!”

Gibbs laughed as he said “I’m glad you approve of the colors. With granite I like the grain size to be small and more uniformed.”

“I agree with you….I am not a big fan of the large mineral grains. I like more of the salt and pepper look where the grains are tightly bound together. An even blend of quartz, feldspar and the other accessory minerals, like black mica and hornblende, really add to the beauty of it.”

Tony continued to flip pages of the magazines until it dawned on him it was too quiet.

He looked up to find Gibbs just staring at him in wonder.

“What?” he asked as Gibbs smirked at him, shaking his head.

“When did you become a geologist, DiNozzo?”

Tony laughed and said:

“Funny you’d ask that Gibbs…took Earth Science in college….it’s actually the class where Steve and I really got to know each other. Our professor had a hard on for rocks…wrote his own textbooks and we went on a bunch of field trips all over Ohio. The man really made an impression on both of us….he had a passion, ya know? Anyway…to this day if Steve and I take a road trip we are always trying to outdo each other in identifying how the terrain around us was formed.”

“This Professor was also a movie buff. He gave us an assignment to pick a type of rock or rocks and put together a project that brought the two together and present it to the class. Steve made a little boxing ring with little ropes and everything. He cut out a cardboard letter “E” and glued a variety of sandstone pebbles on it and placed it inside the ring….he presented “Rock-E”!”

Gibbs brows narrowed…he didn’t get the reference.

“You know…“Rocky”…the boxer movie with Sly Stallone?”

Gibbs shook his head as Tony rolled his eyes and laughed.

“So what did you do?” Gibbs asked

“Me? Well I bought a Ken doll…one in a cool suit. I then moved the arms up and glued a small granite rock between his hands.”

“What movie did that represent?”

“Not a movie but a movie star, boss….I called it “Carry Granite”….for Cary Grant….get it!?”

It was Gibbs turn to roll his eyes and laugh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A good part of their day was spent shopping at a variety of home improvement retailers where Gibbs ordered the granite counter tops and oak for the cabinets.

They looked at furniture and Gibbs took mental notes as to what Tony liked. He wondered how the conversation would go down when he finally admitted to Tony that all the changes he was doing was to entice Tony to move in with him….eventually…at least that was his goal.

He also tried to convince himself that if it was too late for any kind of relationship with Tony at least his house would look great.

He took Tony to Sears to purchase the appliances and did his best to endure Tony’s never ending jokes about his “Sears” wardrobe.

He had finally had enough and cuffed Tony a bit too hard on the head, which shut him up immediately.

He remained silent as they left the store and on the drive back.

Gibbs looked over at Tony every few minutes and watched the younger man just stare out the passenger side window.

He wondered what Tony was thinking.

Was he thinking about Spence or was he thinking what an asshole his boss is to physically hurt him?

It had only been a few days since Dixon & Carver nearly beat Tony to death….and Hector Zegarra almost kidnapped him. Gibbs shuddered trying not to think too much about Zegarra and the “what ifs” surrounding that night.

Gibbs saw Tony rub the back of his head and he knew he had hurt Tony and pissed him off.

Since Gibbs didn’t apologize he racked his brain on how to make it up to him.

As they drove through Georgetown, Gibbs saw his redemption in sight.

He pulled into a parking spot and cut the engine.

Tony looked over at Gibbs and then looked at the store in front of them and asked:

“Why are we stopping at Brooks Brothers?”

“Well DiNozzo…I am sick to death of the “Softer side of Sears” comments so…. since you are helping me with some changes how about helping me pick out some new clothes.”

Gibbs stifled a laugh as Tony quickly sat up, a dazzling smile on his face.

“Seriously!? You want me to help you with clothes?”

“Sure…I….”

But before he could finish, Tony was already out of the truck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs felt ridiculous standing on the round platform in the large mirrored dressing room looking at himself from all angles. The clothes Tony had him try on were very comfortable, well-tailored and he had to admit he did look pretty good in them. Gibbs chuckled to himself remembering Tony’s comment that the slacks really showed off his “ass-sets”.

Gibbs had selected two Polo shirts and three buttoned down shirts along with two pairs of trousers-one in navy and one in black-from the twenty items Tony had him try on.

He was wearing his white t-shirt and the black pants when Tony walked in with a long sleeved buttoned down shirt in Robin’s egg blue.

“Try this one boss!” Tony said excitedly.

As Gibbs pulled it on and buttoned it up he watched Tony’s reflection in the mirror.

Tony was like a kid in a candy store.

“Wow!” Tony said in awe as Gibbs modeled the shirt for him.

“Please say you want this one Gibbs! You look incredible….”

Gibbs smirked and said “Sold!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was still early afternoon when Gibbs and Tony walked out of Brooks Brothers with several garment bags between them.

Gibbs could see Tony was in a good mood again…Gibbs had redeemed himself.

Tony requested Gibbs stop by a “Pack n Move” store so he could purchase moving boxes, tape and bubble wrap.

As they loaded the supplies into the bed of the truck Gibbs said:

“How about we go out for a nice dinner tonight? My treat….you ever been to the Old Ebbitt Grill?”

“Across from the White House?”

“Yep….been in business since 1856.”

“Never been there…isn’t that where all the press hangs out?”

“They do…and a lot of lobbyists….but the food is incredible….they serve a fantastic prime rib on Friday nights.”

Gibbs watched as Tony gave it some thought. Tony ran his hand across his throat and then across his forehead. Gibbs knew from Tony’s body language he was debating if he wanted to be out in a nice restaurant with his very obvious injuries.

“Prime Ribs sounds great! Let’s do it…but I have one condition.” Tony said mischievously.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow and asked “Condition?”

“Uh…change that to request….”

Gibbs nodded wondering where Tony was going with this.

“YOU have to wear that new blue shirt!”

Gibbs smiled and said “I can do that.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had a hard time keeping his eyes forward as Gibbs drove them to the Old Ebbitt Grill. The blue shirt he had asked Gibbs to buy and now wear distracted him. Tony did not think he had ever seen his boss look more handsome.

‘It’s the eyes….definitely those blue eyes.’ He thought to himself.

Tony had decided to wear black slacks and a black turtle neck. The shirt rubbed against the wounds on his neck and he found himself running his fingers along the collar to pull it forward.

“You doing okay, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked glancing Tony’s way.

“Fine boss…thanks” He lied.

The restaurant was not busy so they had no problem getting a table. Gibbs requested a booth near the back of the restaurant across from the bar. It would give them some privacy but they could also see the movers and shakers as they came and went throughout the night.

Friday nights it was always bustling. Whatever had happened on the hill that week or current news and politics was always the subject bouncing around the Old Ebbitt Grill after five on a Friday night.

They were there for the prime rib but Tony still looked at the extensive menu.

He read the back which gave a history of the place.

“Wow…this place is the oldest saloon in DC. That bar over there had the likes of William Taft, Teddy Roosevelt and U.S. Grant belly up to it.”

Gibbs moved to get a better view saying:

“The animal heads over the bar are supposed to have been bagged by Teddy Roosevelt as well. They’d be more impressive if they weren’t over those large flat screen TVs.”

Tony nodded in agreement as he looked around the bar and noticed several reporters he recognized from local TV stations and ZNN. There were also a few congressmen and even a Senator.

They ordered their food and spent about an hour enjoying the meal and making small talk.

“You were right, Jethro….that is some of the best prime rib I think I have ever had.” Tony said as he sat back and patted his stomach.

“Told ya….” Gibbs agreed as their waitress appeared and asked if they wanted dessert.

Gibbs said no but Tony said “Hell yeah…I noticed you have fresh strawberry shortcake!”

As the waitress went to get his order he called out to her “And two forks please!”

A patron at the bar stated loudly “Hey! Turn it up, will ya, Johnny? My story is next!”

The outburst drew Tony and Gibbs attention. 

Tony recognized the reporter was from ZNN. Johnny appeared to be the bartender. He nodded her way and picked up the remote for the flat screen TVs and placed it on the bar. He had not yet turned up the volume as commercials were still playing on every screen.

The waitress returned with the dessert and placed the two forks in front of Tony.

Tony handed one to Gibbs and said “C’mon! You have to share this with me….look at it…”

Tony pointed at the dessert, took a bite, closed his eyes and purred “Yummmmy!”

Gibbs had the fork in his hand but was so taken by Tony’s hedonistic display of pleasure he couldn’t move.

When He felt his cock twitch he placed the fork back on the table.

“This is delectable!” Tony grinned at Gibbs as he took another bite.

Gibbs immediate thought was that it was Tony who was delectable.

‘Control yourself’ his internal warning bell rang as he watched Tony take yet another bite.

“C’mon Jethro…give this a try….you’ll love it!”

Tony wiped his mouth with his napkin and then set the linen cloth back on his lap as he pushed the dish towards Gibbs.

Gibbs noticed Tony had missed some whipped cream at the corner of his mouth. Instead of telling him he reached out suddenly and placed the palm of his right hand on Tony’s cheek and using his thumb he wiped the cream away.

Tony was startled at the movement but sat perfectly still.

He tried to fight his response but he just couldn’t. He leaned into Gibbs warm hand.

That brought Gibbs cock to full attention.

‘Shit!’

Gibbs suddenly stood up saying “Got to hit the head…!”

He jockeyed his way through the crowd trying to keep his hard dick from bumping into anyone or anything.

He quickly made it to the stairs that would take him down to the men’s room.

When he got there he was very thankful the restroom was empty as he took refuge in the nearest stall. 

He was also thankful the restroom had a TV that was on and loud as he pulled his cock out of his pants and got to work. He needed a fast release and he needed to get back. The longer he was gone the more he may have to explain. His mind’s eye envisioned Tony’s mouth and that bit of whipped cream at the corner of those beautiful lips….

Tony sat back wondering what the hell had just happened. Everything was going great….they were enjoying the food and the atmosphere but then Gibbs reached out and touched him and Tony reacted like you would to a lover.

No wonder Gibbs shot out of the booth like a race horse at the starting gate of the Kentucky Derby.

Spence had been in Tony’s thoughts constantly throughout the day. He knew Gibbs was trying to get his mind off all the sorrow and loss so Tony had been very conscious to not mention Spence.

He made it light and superficial enjoying his day with Gibbs, appreciating what his boss was trying to do for him.

And now he blew it.

Spence had been dead less than a week.

He wondered what his boss thought of him now.

Tony was pulled from his thoughts as the young reporter squealed “Here…here it is!”

Tony turned towards the bar as the volume increased. The patrons of the bar began to quiet as the reporter in front of them now appeared on screen. Tony noted she looked much younger in person.

He sat at the edge of the booth to watch.

“It was less than one week ago that decorated Metro Police Officer, Riley Spencer, lost his life doing what he did every day…defending the citizens of the District of Columbia. What is overlooked when an Officer sacrifices his life for the greater good is the loving family he leaves behind. I spoke with his grieving Widow, Linda Spencer, earlier today as she tries to make sense of it all and come to terms that her loving husband will never be coming home to her again.”

Tony watched as Linda’s image filled the screen. Dressed all in black, her eyes were red rimmed as she dabbed at the tears spilling down her cheeks.

He could not believe what he was seeing or what he was hearing. He zoned in and out catching snippets of what Linda was saying:

“He was the only man I ever loved…..the father of my two young boys….my best friend and companion….the greatest years of my life were spent with my Spence.”

Tony had to look away. He felt like the room was caving in on him and he couldn’t breathe.

He was silent but inside he was screaming and wailing at the injustice and hypocrisy of what he was seeing and hearing.

Spence was his! His lover…his best friend…..his everything…..but to most of the world he was his secret.

Tony looked around for Gibbs and wondered why he wasn’t back yet.

He could feel anxiety begin to envelop him.

He had to leave…now.

He looked for the waitress and making eye contact he waived her over.

“You ok honey?” she asked noting he was pale and looked ill.

“Can I get the check please…” he whispered, trying to stave off a full panic attack.

“Sure I’ll be right back.”

“We thank Mrs. Spencer and the Spencer family for contributing to this story. Riley Spencer will be greatly missed. Mrs. Spencer has confirmed her husband has been laid to rest on the family estate. A memorial service in his honor will be conducted by DC Metro this Thursday morning. The service will not be open to the public.”

‘No, no, no.....’ was the only thing Tony could think as the room began to spin.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs came fast and hard.

He leaned against the cool metal of the stall and worked to control his breathing.

He was cleaning up when he heard the reporter mention Spence.

He stepped out of the stall and as he washed his hands at the sink he watched Linda and her crocodile tears.

Gibbs could not believe what was coming out of this woman’s mouth. He wondered why a reporter didn’t check on their facts first. If she had she would have known Spence and Linda had been divorced for years.

It was just before the memorial service was mentioned that it dawned on Gibbs that Tony was upstairs and possibly watching this alone.

‘FUCK’

He threw down the paper towels and hurried out of the restroom towards the stairs.

A small group of woman….including the reporter who had interviewed Linda were blocking Gibbs way.

The women were inebriated and didn’t move fast enough as he said “Excuse me….EXCUSE ME!”

He pushed past them as gently as he could while he mentally berated himself for being so stupid and “self-serving”.

The place was packed wall to wall.

He pushed forward maneuvering his way through the tight crowd his gut igniting like dry kindling.

When he finally got to his destination he found the booth was empty except for a wad of cash thrown on the table.

He scanned the crowd but to no avail……Tony was gone.


	37. Chapter 37

“Here is your check sir….oh” The waitress looked at the cash on the table and back at Gibbs.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long to get the check…this place filled up pretty quickly…” She apologized.

Gibbs grabbed the cash and as he counted it, asked “The man that was with me…did you notice when he left?”

“It had to have only been in the last 5 minutes. He asked for the check and I did my best to get it as quickly as possible. He looked ill…maybe he is in the restroom?”

Gibbs knew Tony was not in the restroom. He had to have left the building. He silently hoped Tony was outside waiting for him.

Gibbs held up the cash in front of her and said “I have $125.00 here...will that cover the bill and tip?”

Seeing her eyes get wide Gibbs knew it would.

He slapped the cash back on the table and turned to fight his way through the crowd.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony wasn’t exactly sure how he had made it out of the crowded bar and onto the street.

He had snapshots in his mind of rudely shoving people aside and being shoved back.

He knew if he hadn’t had those bodies to bounce against like a pinball, he would still be inside likely reduced to a curled up ball lying on the floor.

This wasn’t him.

He knew he was panicking, logically knew what was going on, but he could not seem to control it.

Being outside helped except he still felt dizzy and breathless. He inhaled deeply but choked on exhaust as several cabs left the curb in front of the restaurant. He clutched at his chest as he gasped like a fish out of water. He knew his heart was racing and his entire body tingled.

He wondered if this is what it felt like to have a heart attack.

He heard a voice, sounding far away, ask if he was okay.

The voice got closer and he heard it ask if he needed some help.

Tony looked around for the source and found a concerned young man suddenly standing in front of him.

Tony registered the valet uniform and shook his head no.

In all his confusion he did still realize he had not used valet service.

He staggered to the left and headed towards the parking lot. He wasn’t sure what to do but he knew he needed to get away. He patted at his pockets and realized he didn’t have his car keys. It then dawned on him he had traveled there with Gibbs. He looked around frantically.

Where was Gibbs?

Had he lost Gibbs too?

‘NO! First Spence and now Gibbs?!’

Tony lost all rational thought as survival instinct took over. Instinct told him to run but his feet felt like lead. Instinct demanded he scream but his lungs were short of air. Instinct raged at his mind but his body failed him.

He gave in to failure and allowed his body to fall.

He felt nothing as strong arms caught him and pulled him close.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Should I call for an ambulance?” The young valet asked.

“No!” Gibbs said as he held Tony tightly “but you can pull up that yellow Dodge Charger and help me get him in it.”

Gibbs dug into his pocket as he nodded towards the parking lot.

“Sure mister….I can do that!” The kid said as he grabbed Gibbs keys and ran for the car.

Gibbs struggled to hold Tony upright as he whispered in his ear.

“C’mon Tony…you need to pull it together…wake up…”

Silence.

Tony’s lack of response frightened Gibbs.

It had been scary enough exiting the restaurant and seeing Tony taking a nose dive towards the pavement.

That Gibbs had reached him in time was a miracle.

As the valet helped Gibbs place Tony in the passenger’s seat and buckle him in he asked:

“Is he drunk? He seems sick…. I asked if he needed help but he refused! You think he’ll be okay?”

Gibbs handed the kid a twenty as he closed the passenger door saying:

“He’ll be okay….he’s just in shock….life has not been good to him lately…thanks for your help kid.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was out the entire drive back to his house. Gibbs drove slower than usual and debated just taking Tony to Bethesda. Tony’s breathing was not labored and he appeared relaxed so Gibbs decided he would get him home and see what happened from there.

As he pulled up to the curb Tony began to stir. Gibbs saw his eyes were opening but they were unfocused.

He placed a hand on his shoulder and said:

“Hang on Tony…let me go disarm the security system and I’ll be right back.”

Gibbs got out of the car and, scanning the area around Tony’s home, he made his way to the front porch.

When he got back to his car Tony was awake. He had unbuckled his seat belt and opened his door but was still seated and looking straight ahead.

Gibbs knelt down next to Tony and asked:

“Ready to go in?”

Tony turned towards him and asked:

“How in the hell did we get here?”

Gibbs smiled and reached out his hand.

“C’mon…let’s get inside and we’ll talk.”

Tony took the offered hand and let Gibbs pull him out of the Dodge.

“I think I am losing my mind, Jethro.”

“You’ll be fine Tony….you’re grieving for Spence.”

“I saw Linda on ZNN….did you see her?”

“I caught her masquerade…there was a TV in the men’s room.”

“You heard Metro will have a private service for Spence on Tuesday?! Private Jethro! I bet she excludes me! I want to be there for Spence! He was my…MY….HELL…what do I even call him! My boyfriend? My lover? My best friend? He’d have been my husband if it was legal to get married….shit! Most of his co-workers have no idea Spence was even gay…how do I explain my presence at his private service!?”

“You are his family, Tony, and he was my best friend whom I consider my family. We will be there for him in that capacity. If someone questions that then we’ll be there as law enforcement officers honoring a fellow officer….don’t worry!”

“But it’s bullshit! He was everything to me! I don’t want to be censored….I want to declare my love for him….what he meant to me, what a phenomenal person he was…. and how much I am going to miss him!”

Tony fought back the sob that was building within him. Gibbs hugged him close and Tony let him.

Tony returned Gibbs hug holding him tightly and in a rare moment of emotional candor whispered:

“I just feel so lost boss….it hurts so bad…I feel like my heart has been torn out and I feel empty…”

Gibbs pulled away to look Tony in the face as he said with sincerity:

“You love Spence so you’ll carry that forever….how you learn to cope with it is what will take time.”

Tony had been skirting the question all day but the moment presented itself.

“How did you learn to cope…after Shannon and Kelly?” Tony asked as they entered the house.

Gibbs closed the door behind them and stepped over to re-arm the security system.

“Remember when I told you this morning I wanted to share something with you tonight?”

“Vaguely…sorry Jethro…I feel so scattered right now.”

Gibbs guided Tony over to the couch.

“If you don’t mind I’m gonna put on some coffee. Relax here for a few minutes, Tony. I need to get something from upstairs…I’ll be right back.”

Tony just nodded not really hearing what Gibbs had said.

When Gibbs returned he had no idea how much time had passed.

Gibbs brought Tony a cup of coffee doctored the way he liked it.

He had a book in his hand but set that down on the coffee table to focus on Tony.

“Drink some of this” Gibbs said handing him the mug.

The hot beverage helped clear his foggy mind.

“Thanks boss”

Tony set his mug on the coffee table and picked up the book Gibbs had set down.

“True Grit” Tony read the title out loud.

“You know Jethro…Spence always said this book reminded him of you.”

“That’s why I went upstairs to get it…I wanted your permission to keep this if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t care….Spence would be pleased to give it to you…do you want the DVD’s too? The original was great but I really liked the remake.”

Gibbs laughed and said “You keep those….and it isn’t the book so much as what I found in it that makes me want to keep it.”

Tony looked confused as Gibbs took the book from Tony’s hand and opened it.

He pulled out two Polaroid photos and a letter.

He handed Tony the photos.

Tony recognized a very young Spence and Gibbs but the red haired woman he did not know.

“Shannon?” he asked looking from the photo up at Gibbs.

“Yes…Linda took that photo. The other one of Shannon and I was taken by Spence just after she told me we were pregnant.”

Tony’s hand began to shake. Gibbs wrapped his hand around his wrist to steady him.

“She is absolutely beautiful, Jethro.”

“She was the love of my life Tony….you asked how I coped…I cope by working on it every day.”

Gibbs pulled out his wallet and removed a photo he always carried but was hidden from plain sight. He handed it over to Tony who held it reverently. It was a picture of Gibbs sitting on a picnic bench with Shannon on one knee and a darling little girl sitting on his other. Tony could see Kelly’s resemblance to her mom but Linda had been right…Kelly had her Daddy’s eyes. The three of them were smiling as Gibbs held them close. Tony could see the love and tenderness Gibbs and his girls shared-a happy family.

“This photo is the last one of us together. Spence took it. We had a barbeque right before we both deployed again. It was a wonderful day. I can still remember Shannon’s lilac perfume as she was sitting close. Whenever I see or smell lilacs I always think of her.”

As Tony handed Gibbs back the photo and he placed it back in his wallet Tony said:

“You all look so happy, Jethro…Kelly is adorable….I may know the pain you felt in losing Shannon but I can’t even fathom losing Kelly.”

Tony nearly regretted mentioning Kelly as he watched Gibbs features darken and his eyes grow cold.

“I’m sorry….” Tony started to say but Gibbs cut him off.

“Both were hard Tony but you’re right…losing a child is a pain I would not wish on my worst enemy.”

Gibbs took a drink of coffee and said “What I want to share with you is my secret of how I coped and how I continue to cope with their loss. Only two other people besides me know this story….and now one is gone.”

“Spence?”

Gibbs nodded as he handed Tony the letter. He tucked the photos back into the book and said:

“I found this unfinished letter with these photos by accident when I stayed with you the other night. I don’t know why Spence never sent it to me but he knew me very well Tony. Next to Shannon he was the person I shared everything with. Read this and I’ll explain.”

Tony unfolded the letter and read:

Gibbs,

I know you are going to find the bastard who did this to your beautiful Shannon and our darling Kelly. If I could be there with you I would help you hunt that motherfucker down. I would ask you to wait for me, let me cover your six. If you cannot wait for me, then I ask that you proceed carefully my dear friend.

You know Shannon would not want you to throw your life away for revenge.

Semper Fi

Spence

“Spence would do anything to protect you, Jethro. What happened?” Tony asked as he returned the letter to Gibbs.

Gibbs placed it into the book and said:

“While I was serving with the Marine Corps in Operation Desert Storm, Shannon witnessed the murder of a Marine by a drug cartel member named Pedro Hernandez. She pledged to testify against Hernandez, so she and Kelly, who was only eight years old at the time, were placed under the protection of a Federal Agent from the NIS…this was five years before the agency changed to NCIS.

On February 28, 1991, NIS Agent Scott Malloy was transporting Shannon and Kelly in the family van when a sniper shot Malloy in the head. His immediate death triggered a fatal car accident which killed both Shannon and Kelly instantly. Malloy was Mike Franks SFA so he became the lead agent on the investigation.

Mike was the man I talked to when I got back to the states to bury my girls. Long story short….Mike shed light on what had happened to them and I took care of the rest. Hernandez had escaped to Mexico and the NIS could not pursue. I used my skills as a sniper to lay in wait and when I had my shot I took it. I returned to DC and retired from the Marines and became Mike’s probie in 1992.

In 1996, Mike resigned from NCIS because of the Khobar Tower bombing. He handed me his badge and his gun told me “You’ll do” and left for Mexico.”

“You avenged your girls, Jethro!” Tony said with conviction.

“Yes…there are only 2 people who knew I killed Pedro Hernandez...Spence and Mike Franks.”

“Mike Franks gave me my justice and he gave me a job. Between Mike and Spence they saved me Tony- from despair and self-destruction. I did not at the time nor do I now have any feeling of guilt in killing Hernandez. The man was a known killer…not only did he kill my girls and Agent Malloy, he was known to have personally killed 23 others. His death was justified as far as I was concerned. I had no guilt but I also found no peace. I drank heavily and was very reckless. I didn’t care if I lived or died. I picked fights with men I knew could kick my ass. I wanted them too!”

“Spence and Mike worked like a team to get me back to myself. Spence convinced me to join the NIS. He had tried to get me to join Metro but I was tired of a uniform.”

“I laid out my pain to my best friend and my new boss and then cloistered it away. I married again and again trying to replace what I lost but I never could and I hurt some really wonderful women along the way. They thought they could save me but I had expectations they could never meet. It was a recipe for disaster all around.”

“The job I do is how I cope. It gives me a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning. I love my team…you and Kate and McGee….I don’t say it enough but you are by far the best agent I have ever worked with. Your instincts are second to none….you see things in ways others don’t….you try to hide your true self but you do it with the purpose that people will underestimate you which works in both our favors….I tell you all of this Tony because you have the job and it will help you cope until….”

Gibbs stopped speaking. He realized he was about to say more than he planned. He wanted to say ‘Until you know I love you and want you to move in with me…build a life together…forever.’

Tony was enthralled by Gibbs confession. He had never, ever heard his boss say so much at once and with so much honesty that it took him a moment before he realized Gibbs last sentence was incomplete.

“Until? Until what, Jethro?”

Gibbs let out a heavy sigh and said “Until you love again.”

He then stood up and walked around the room. He didn’t give Tony a chance to respond as he continued:

“Of course I remained in the home I shared with my girls. I kept everything pretty much the same. I build boats and drink bourbon down in a basement that had always been my domain. It is the one area of the house the memory of them haunts me the least. I have never showed you Kelly’s room but I will share it with you one day. I left it exactly as I found it when I got home from Iraq.”

Gibbs looked at Tony who looked back with such sorrow in his eyes Gibbs had to turn away.

“You are leaving the home you built with Spence and that may be easier for you … to start new. I am not sure only you will figure that one out. Like I told you days ago…I made a promise to Spence and I make it to you….I’m here for you, Tony…no matter what you need…I will protect you and watch out for you…protect you from yourself if it comes to that…..”

Gibbs smirked at him which brought a smile to Tony’s face.

“Thank you Jethro….for being here and for sharing your secret with me. You know I will hold it close.”

“I know…you are the person I trust most in this life Tony.”

“I am?” Tony asked shocked

“Yes….”

The house phone rang which caused Tony to jump as Gibbs raised an eyebrow which said “Are you going to get that?”

Tony walked into the kitchen to answer the phone. Caller ID showed Steve’s name.

“It’s Steve” Tony told Gibbs as he hit speaker and said “Hey bro…what’s up?”

Steve sounded frustrated as he said:

“Tony! What the hell! I have been trying to reach you all day…why don’t you answer your damn cell phone? Doesn’t your boss have some rule about not being unreachable?!”

Gibbs laughed as he sat back on the couch and picked up his coffee.

“Yes Steve…rule #3 but I spent the day with my boss and didn’t have my cell phone on. Sorry bro…”

“Well…it’s good to hear your voice…are you doing okay?” Steve asked

“I’m fine Steve…Gibbs is looking out for me.” Tony said looking over at Gibbs

“Good…the reason I have been trying to get a hold of you is I wanted to let you know I got ahold of the Attorney Joe mentioned…Dan Coe….he is on vacation but his Secretary gave me his number in Florida. I have a meeting set up for the two of you on Wednesday….do you think you can be there?”

“Sure…I’ll make it….”

Tony grabbed a pen and jotted down the information Steve gave him.

“Tony…I saw Linda on ZNN. I’m sorry I won’t be able to be there with you on Tuesday…I will be in court all day…”

“It’s okay Steve…I may not even be allowed in…” Tony stopped when he caught Gibbs glaring at him in disapproval.

“Anyway….I’ll meet with Coe on Wednesday to see what he says…did he give you any information?”

“Not much…he was pissed I interrupted his golf game…..call me Wednesday night will ya? Let me know what he says and I’ll talk to him after that if we have a leg to stand on.” 

“Okay…thanks bro….talk to you in a few days.”

“Take care Tony…love ya bro!”

“Love you too Steve…talk to you soon.”

Tony hung up and returned to the couch.

“Steve is a good friend to you.” Gibbs said.

“The best….I don’t have many people in my life I trust, Jethro….nor many I love…Steve is in the top five for sure.”

Gibbs wondered if he placed anywhere in the top five.

Tony yawned and stood to stretch. He looked at the time and although it was early he wanted to climb into bed and sleep. He carried his mug back to the kitchen and placed it in the sink.

Gibbs watched Tony as he moved and he could tell his SFA was dragging so he said:

“I don’t know about you Tony but I am exhausted….ready to hit the sack?”

“Yes” Tony said with relief.

He shut off the coffee pot and switched off the kitchen lights.

The two of them repeated their morning routine in reverse-Gibbs showered and got ready to sleep in the master bathroom as Tony took to the guest bathroom to get ready.

They climbed into bed…each in their own space.

Tony lay on his side away from Gibbs as Gibbs lay on his back staring at the ceiling.

Gibbs debated reading but he realized he was actually really tired. As he moved to turn off the light Tony turned towards him a look of desperation in his eyes.

“Boss…um…Jethro…do you mind if I….I mean would it be okay if I….”

Gibbs smiled at him and said “Come here, Tony.”

Tony snuggled close to Gibbs as Gibbs turned off the light.

Tony lay with his head on Gibbs shoulder as he draped his arm over Gibbs waist.

Gibbs pulled Tony close and kissed the top of his head.

“Good night, Jethro…thank you so much for sharing your secret and thanks for being here.”

“Thank you Tony….for allowing me to be here.”

The two of them lay together comfortably and very relaxed. As they drifted to sleep Gibbs heard Tony mumble.

“I love you, Jethro.”

Gibbs fought his desire to respond immediately.

As Tony’s breathing evened out and Gibbs was convinced he was sound asleep he said quietly:

“I love you too, Tony”

As Gibbs let sleep claim, him he was sure he felt Tony smile.


	38. Chapter 38

“I’ll take it!”

The attractive mocha skinned realtor’s soft brown eyes widened in surprise.

She had only been with her friend and client less than 90 minutes.

“Are you sure Mr. Dinozzo? This is only the first one of five properties I have on my list per your specifications?”

Tony turned from the huge window that looked out onto the Anacostia river, and quickly took in the space that he decided would be his new home.

White walls with built in book shelves, hardwood floors, modern kitchen, one bedroom, one bath….and the view….the view was breathtaking.

Tony could envision his piano near the window and the small amount of furniture he would be bringing with him would fit perfectly. It was the complete opposite of Spence’s home and he hoped the change would bring him comfort. He was determined that this space was for him to grieve and heal…a sanctuary from the outside world.

A new place to begin again.

“It’s perfect Rhonda….and call me Tony, please….where do I sign?” he said with an endearing grin.

Rhonda Jane Fleming glanced at Abby Scuito in disbelief as Tony turned back to look out the window.

Abby shrugged and smiled at her friend saying:

“It really is perfect for him RJ….and it’s only 10 minutes from work.”

Rhonda smiled and said:

“Alright…let me go get the manager and I’ll get the paperwork started!”

In less than 2 hours Tony had signed a lease, written a check and left his new apartment with a set of keys in his hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I think I pissed off your friend Abs.” Tony said as he dropped pink sugar cubes into his coffee cup and stirred.

Abby laughed as she sat back and looked around the independent coffee house conveniently located across from Tony’s new apartment complex.

The place was called “Phixx”. 

The interior was done in shades of tan and brown and pastel pink.

The smell of roasting coffee filled the room-the rich aromas drifting from the back of the house.

It was pretentious and trendy and the people-watching was incredible.

It was the perfect blend of passionate young liberals, uptight conservatives, goths, punks and hipsters-the separate tribes converging in this one place, all with one common goal-to get their caffeine fix.

Abby sipped her Cafe Americano before she replied:

“Nah….she was just surprised how quick the transaction went down. She’s use to driving indecisive people around all day until they are satisfied, if ever. She told me she wished all her customers were like you…one and done! She was happy to have the rest of the day off to see her new girlfriend.”

“New girlfriend?” Tony said with a raised brow “You two ever…..”

“Tony! You know I don’t kiss and tell….much….” Abby said as she seductively wiggled her eyebrows.

Tony chuckled at her naughty gesture before taking a sip of his coffee.

He relaxed back into his chair and closed his eyes enjoying the hot beverage.

“Mmmmm….God…this coffee is incredible” He said, his eyes snapping open in delight “and I can walk over here in the morning before work…no more Starbucks!”

It was Abby’s turn to laugh but she stopped suddenly as she noticed Tony’s eyes darting around the room, his happy mood suddenly becoming melancholy.

Three uniformed Metro officers had entered and were at the counter placing their order.

Abby knew immediately that Tony was thinking of Spence.

She reached out and placed her hand over his and asked:

“How are you doing Tony? Are you sure you are ready for this move? It’s happening fast.”

Tony gulped, his eyes moved from the uniformed officers-feeling relieved he didn’t recognize any of them-towards worried pale green eyes.

Abby was intuitive and Tony knew she used her powers of empathy for good but he just couldn’t bring himself to share with her everything he was feeling. Like his time with Gibbs the day before, he wished it to be fun and superficial.

He had to look at this move as a new adventure and beginning.

What he lost and what he was leaving behind were too painful to discuss at the moment.

He suddenly felt very nervous.

Everything had happened and was happening too fast. But what else could he do? Life went on and Tony had to pull it together. He had only one week left of leave and then he was back to work. He had to move forward even though he would love nothing more than to rewind the last week for just one more minute with Spence.

He would take the physical pain and emotional agony all over again if he could have that one minute.

In 60 seconds he could smile at Spence, kiss him passionately, hold him tight and thank him for two great years.

But that was impossible, as was the alternative desire to stay forever protected in the comforting arms of his boss.

He wanted to desperately confide in Abby everything that was going on with him. He wanted to tell her about seeing Linda and his apprehension with the upcoming service that was only three days away but he didn’t want to appear weak and needy.

He had been fighting an internal battle with himself since he woke up that morning.

Tony had opened his eyes as the early light of dawn made its presence known. He was warm and comfortable still nestled in Gibbs arms. Gibbs lay quietly, his breathing was rhythmic and Tony could tell he was deep asleep.

He did not want to wake Gibbs so he lay perfectly still. From his position he could look up into Gibbs face. His boss looked much younger, all stress lines having disappeared in his slumber.

Tony was in awe of Gibbs. He replayed the events of the last few days in his mind and knew he could never convey to Gibbs how much he appreciated what he had done for him. How much Gibbs had comforted him, been there for every mishap and cruel event to pick Tony up, shake him off and set him straight.

Gibbs was always there to save him.

‘Save me’

Tony frowned as he thought about those words. They made him feel weak and fragile….like a child that needed to be protected from the big, bad world. Tony logically knew why he felt that way. His Father had abandoned their relationship when Tony’s mother died leaving the young boy to practically raise himself. Sure there were his Father’s staff that looked out for him, and he loved them for it, but they weren’t his family….he had felt so very much alone.

He was proud of how he had made his own way but he knew he had issues that left him wanting the safety, love and attention he lacked but so desperately wanted when he was a child.

With Spence he had found what he was missing and so much more….but he was alone again and needed to deal with that fact. Gibbs sharing his bed and looking out for him was giving him a false sense of security. He needed to get out and stand on his own two feet. He knew his friends would be there for him but it was a journey he would be traveling mostly on his own. He had considered leaving DC for good but that thought quickly dissipated. If he couldn’t see Gibbs and Abby and his team everyday he would have a hard time functioning at all.

He treasured his relationship with Gibbs. The man had told Tony he trusted him above all others…that he would be there for him, save him from himself if need be.

As Tony watched Gibbs sleep, as he breathed in the wonderful scent that was uniquely Gibbs, he thought of Spence. Tony had no doubt Spence would sanction a union between the two men but Tony knew he could not take a chance and screw up what he and his boss currently had-a wonderful working partnership and a close friendship.

Tony knew Gibbs loved him…the man had said the words out loud…. but Tony knew it could never be anything else but a platonic love. Gibbs cared for him but not in the way Tony wished. He needed to accept that and move on.

‘Accept and move on’ he thought as a plan of action began to brew in his brain.

Abby squeezed his hand.

That comforting action and the growing concern in her beautiful eyes brought him around.

“I’m okay Abby.” He smiled and squeezed her hand in return “It’s going to all be okay….”

She watched his eyes change from deep sadness to a mask of hope and humor.

He did it with ease but she was not fooled at all as he said:

“Hey! Let’s go shopping!”

Abby giggled and nodded as she stood and said:

“I’m game! Lead the way, Tony-boy!”

Tony drank down his coffee and as he stood he offered his elbow to Abby.

She hooked her arm with his and as they left the coffee house Tony crumpled his cup and tossed it towards the trash bin.

It hit the rim and dropped inside.

“Two points!” Tony said exuberantly.

Abby laughed as she pulled him through the door and they headed towards his car. They practically skipped, joking as they went-Abby trying desperately not to spill a drop of her coffee.

From the outside Tony looked happy and carefree but Abby knew better.

She knew Tony was just putting up a front. She had hoped he would open up to her but it looked like he was trying so hard to keep his emotions in check. She would respect that and not push him. She knew in time he would break and she would be there to hold him together.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs sat at his kitchen table drinking his fifth cup of coffee trying to read the morning paper. He scanned it in frustration wondering why he even bothered anymore. There were too many ads and not enough news….and the information they printed was just some regurgitated Associated Press release that ran in every newspaper around town.

He turned the page to find a photo of Linda. It was a shot of her blubbering from the TV interview.

When he read the caption entitled “The Reality of Grief” he threw the paper down in disgust.

‘Whatever happened to investigative journalism?’ Gibbs thought for a second time in less than 24 hours.

Gibbs shuddered thinking how Tony must have felt when he saw her spew her lies.

“Fuck it!” he growled as he headed to the coffee pot for cup number six.

The sounds of an electric saw and sledge hammer created a soundtrack for the current remodel from the floor above.

Gibbs friend and contractor, Bill Conners, met him at his home early Saturday morning after Abby and Tony headed out to apartment hunt.

The friends had enjoyed a cup of coffee and discussed a plan of action.

Then Bill and his employees got to work.

The remodel had begun in earnest and it was noisy downstairs and dusty upstairs.

Gibbs didn’t mind. He enjoyed the whole process and in a bit he would begin to replace the cabinets in his kitchen. The new appliances were being delivered that afternoon. The granite counter tops would be delivered in a week or so.

Gibbs had a busy day ahead of him.

He was happy for the distraction.

Since he got up that morning he had sensed something had changed in Tony and it was bugging him.

Gibbs woke that morning finding he was alone in Tony’s bed. He was surprised he had not felt Tony leave his arms. Gibbs smiled knowing it was because when he slept next to Tony he was completely at ease. He knew their current situation was going to end very soon and he was determined to enjoy the moments he had with Tony.

Gibbs had just had another wonderful night of sleep and he hoped Tony had as well.

The smell of coffee got him out of bed and moving.

Gibbs stretched and dressed quickly.

Upon entering the kitchen he found Tony standing at the window peering out at the once beautiful garden.

“Good morning” Gibbs said, surprised to see Tony jump at the sound of his voice.

Usually Gibbs took great pleasure sneaking up and surprising Tony but he did not enjoy seeing Tony’s damp, red-rimmed emerald eyes.

“Morning” Tony sniffed looking back out the window as he wiped at his face.

Gibbs grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and filled them. He placed Tony’s near him by the sink and walked over to the table and sat down. Gibbs sipped his coffee as he watched Tony pull hazelnut creamer from the fridge. When Tony was done fixing his coffee he joined Gibbs at the table.

“Would you like some breakfast?” Tony asked not looking directly at Gibbs.

“Coffee’s fine” Gibbs replied “You alright? Would you like me to make you some breakfast Tony?”

Tony laughed but there was no humor in it. It sounded forced and bitter to Gibbs ear.

“Thanks but no Gibbs. You don’t have to make breakfast for me too….I can handle that…”

Before Gibbs could respond there was a knock on the door.

“Abby” Tony said as he quickly left the room.

Gibbs sipped his coffee somewhat bewildered. Tony was in a mood and he wasn’t sure why or how he could help. He hoped Abby could bring Tony’s mood around.

“Hey Gibbster!” Abby said as she leaned down and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Gibbs smirked at her saying “Good Morning Abs” as she joined him at the table.

“Want some coffee Abs?” Tony asked

“No…I’m good… maybe later” she replied looking him up and down she continued “You better get dressed DiNozzo…Rhonda is very punctual!”

He nodded and carrying his coffee headed towards the stairs.

Gibbs turned to watch him go, his gut rumbling with concern.

“Keep an eye on him today Abs…call me if you feel something is off…”

“You know I will bossman!” she confirmed.

That had been several hours ago and since Abby hadn’t called, Gibbs could only assume things were going alright. The three of them were going to have dinner later that night so he would gauge Tony’s emotional well-being at that time.

Gibbs snorted and thought sarcastically:

‘Right….like I am such an expert in handling human emotions’

His three previous wives would heartily agree.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“A twin size bed, Tony? You have got to be kidding me!” Abby stated as Tony stretched out on the small but adult sized mattress.

The salesperson had gone to check to see if the item was in stock so the friends were currently alone.

“Why not? This is very comfortable” Tony said defensively as he flopped about trying different positions.

“It’s just me now…and it is going to be a very long time before…you know….”

“You have sex?!” she joked

“Jeez Abs…tell the whole store why don’t you!” he said in a hushed voice as he looked around.

Abby doubled over in laughter as she said “I don’t have to say anything Tony...you buy that twin and anyone within sight will know you aren’t getting any!”

Tony smiled and then chuckled at her logic.

He shrugged and said sadly “If I feel the need to “fill the void” it won’t be at my apartment.”

He sat up as she moved to sit next to him.

She grasped his hand and said “I’m sorry Tony….I can only imagine what you are going through…”

She felt his body begin to tremble.

He tried to fight it and was happy to see the salesperson walking towards them.

Tony released her hand and shot up off of the bed.

“We have it in stock….” The salesperson began.

“Fantastic!” Tony said, cutting him off “Can you have it delivered today?”

Abby stood by as Tony made his purchase and arranged for the bed to be delivered later that afternoon. Tony was funny and charming and over the top, flirting with both the salesperson and the cashier.

Abby chuckled as Tony had the store employees in the palm of his hand. They tripped over themselves to make him happy. He had somehow convinced them into giving him a discount and deliver the bed before 5 pm and set it up for him even though store policy forbid it.

There had always been something about Tony that turned heads and she knew he really didn’t understand the power he had over people. He was physically beautiful but that beauty was tempered by an even balance of self-doubt, humility and ego.

Abby remembered a night she, Spence and Tony drank way too much and when Tony passed out Spence talked to her about how lucky he was to have Tony in his life. He told her what he loved most about Tony and during the conversation Spence told her Tony had “Prestige”- not the English word, meaning a reputation based on brilliance of achievement or character (although Spence would agree Tony met that definition) but the French word, spelled the exact same way , meaning enchanting, creating illusion and having an ability to charm.

Spence had been right….Tony encapsulated all those things.

She was brought back to the present as Tony grabbed her hand and said:

“C’mon Abs! We are off to Bed, Bath and Beyond!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abby was exhausted by the time they left the linen store laden with bags of expensive bedding.

They had traveled to four different stores before Tony found the right thread count and down pillows he insisted he needed.

She tried to curb her bad mood but couldn’t help but say:

“Jesus, DiNozzo….you pick an apartment in less than 30 minutes but it takes you three fucking hours to pick some sheets and a pillow?”

Tony laughed as he placed his purchase in the trunk of his car saying:

“You sound like Gibbs, Abby….speaking of which we should call him to let him know when to meet for dinner….oh my god! Hang on a minute…I need to go over there!”

She looked to where he was pointing which could have been one of three businesses:

A smoke shop, a Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream parlor, or a business called “Pet Palace”.

She humored him saying “Oooh-kay….tell ya what…I’ll call Gibbs why you go do what you need to do…oh…and I prefer “Cherry Garcia” but will take “Americone Dream” if they’re out.”

She pulled out her phone and turned away from him missing his look of confusion.

He knew she was getting cranky so he hurried to his destination.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was just signing for his appliances from Sears when his phone rang.

Seeing it was Abby he answered:

“Hey Abs…you and Tony okay?”

She smiled at the concern in his voice.

“I’m fine bossman but I think your second in command is bonkers!”

Gibbs smiled saying:

“You’re just noticing that now Abby?”

“Well no…but he is in rare form today…”

She gave Gibbs a quick rundown of their day and finished saying “Where do you want to meet for dinner?”

“How about we meet at Tony’s….I’ll get the steaks and beer…say about 8pm?”

Abby sighed but agreed “Okay…see ya than….oh crap….”

“What is it Abby?”

He heard her sigh again and say:

“Damn it….I wanted an ice cream cone but it looks like he’s bringing me a…a…”

“A what Abby?!”

“Um…a fricking goldfish! Got to go Gibbs….see ya at 8.”

She hung up on him as he sat there wondering what the hell the two of them were up too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The bed was delivered right on time and had been set up to Tony’s specifications.

Abby helped him make it up with the new linens.

They laughed at how fast it was to make it and Abby had to admit the thread count and soft down pillows were divine.

That task completed the friends were now gathered in Tony’s kitchen.

Abby watched as Tony set up the fishbowl on his new kitchen counter. He had purchased filtered water, some blue neon gravel, a live plant, a can of fish food and a package of weekend feeders.

The bowl was ready and as Tony poured the fish into its new home she asked:

“So what is its name?”

Tony was at eye level with the bowl making cute kissing sounds with puckered lips as the fish swam around seeming to be happy it was free from the plastic bag it had been housed in for the past hour.

He stood and plopped a weekend feeder in the bowl.

“Spence….his name is Spence.”

Abby smiled but thought it strange so she said:

“Why a fish Tony? Why not some plants?”

Tony smiled and said:

“Spence had the green thumb Abby not me….in fact if you look closely…”He pushed out his right thumb and held it in front of her face “You’ll see a little skull and cross bones….I have the thumb of death when it comes to plants….”

He knelt down next to goldfish Spence and said “But goldfish are resilient….I have had a few over the years and they have lived a very long time.”

“When did you have the last one?”

“When my Mom died…that fish lived for 8 years!”

“Really?” Abby said with surprise as she too knelt down next to goldfish Spence.

“Welcome to your new home Spence! Make sure you take good care of your Daddy!”

Tony rolled his eyes but laughed as Abby stood back up and said:

“It’s 7:00…we need to go.”

He nodded and grabbing his keys said:

“Good night Spence…see ya soon!”

Abby headed out the door and made her way to the elevator to wait for Tony. At his front door he looked around the empty apartment knowing within days he would be coming to this space every night instead of the home he had lived with Spence for almost two years.

He would have to make it work. He was scared and he was filled with the sorrow that events out of his control had placed him in this situation. He looked at the positive things this move would give him:

He was close to work, he had a great coffee house across the street, he was across town from Spence’s house so he would not have to see it…and he was also far from Gibbs house now. He would not have the luxury to easily run to Gibbs when he was needy and out of control. He tried to convince himself that was a positive thing. Deep down he knew he would be grieving the loss of Gibbs when he moved into this apartment. He resolved to make the best of the time he had.

His plan was to lean on Gibbs for the next few days….get through Tuesday’s services, meet the attorney on Wednesday and return to work the following Monday. Back to business as usual…except he would be dealing with a loss he could not even really comprehend yet….he figured that he’d work it out in time.

When Monday came he would put his best foot forward. He would be the best SFA he could be and he would carry on. He would not be a weakling and put his friends in the position they had to take care of him.

He felt optimistic and graced Abby with a full and brilliant smile as he met her at the elevator.

He had a plan and he would stick to it.

The only problem with having plans is that life had a tendency of getting in the way.


	39. Chapter 39

Gibbs was just finishing setting the kitchen table when Tony and Abby arrived.

“Hey Gibbs” Abby greeted him with a big hug “need some help?”

“I’m good Abs…steaks are marinating and the salad is ready….” Gibbs replied looking directly at Tony.

Gibbs instantly got a weird feeling from Tony but he just couldn’t pinpoint the cause.

Tony smiled at him as he passed on his way to the fridge. He pulled out three beers, handing one to Abby and the other to Gibbs before opening his own and downing half of it.

“Thanks Tony” Abby said as she opened her beer and took a sip.

“Do you guys mind if I take a shower and change before we eat? Do I have time boss?” Tony asked.

“Sure…you have time Tony. The coals on the grill should be ready in about ten minutes.”

Tony nodded at them before turning around and heading up the stairs.

He looked exhausted and crestfallen.

Abby looked stressed-biting her lower lip and nervously beginning to peel the label off her bottle of beer as she watched Tony walk away. She opened her mouth to say something but shut it when Gibbs shook his head placing his index finger against the bow of his lips. He then pointed the same finger towards the kitchen door.

She followed him outside and shut the door behind her.

He stoked the grill as he said:

“I told you to call me Abby if something was off with Tony.”

“I would have if he was acting all depressed and mopey before now. He was fine up until the drive over here…okay…he was pretty manic most of the day but…”

“Manic?! How was Tony manic?”

“Like textbook manic…ya know…when it was just us he was cheerful enough but I could tell he had a lot on his mind but he wouldn’t open up…which is not like the Tony I know and love…we share almost everything Gibbs….”

She set her beer bottle down and began to wring her hands while looking around.

Gibbs knew Abby was feeling uncomfortable discussing Tony, like she thought she may be selling him out.

Gibbs forced himself to speak calmly.

“Go on Abs…tell me what you can….we both have Tony’s best interest at heart.”

She took a deep breath, her eyes misty, as she said “I know, bossman, I know.”

“Tony was socially enthusiastic when we were with other people...my friend Rhonda…the baristas at the coffee house…the salespeople at all the stores we went too…he was his usual witty self but it was elevated and over the top even for Tony. People were charmed of course…Tony is very engaging when he turns it on….when it was just the two of us I tried to get him to talk to me about the move, Spence, how he was feeling but I got nothing….I really thought he would have spilled before the end of the day but he kept it up until we left his new apartment.”

Gibbs sighed when Abby was done adding:

“I could tell something was off with him this morning….”

Gibbs didn’t have a chance to finish as Tony threw open the kitchen door with such force it rattled the kitchen window.

He stormed out onto the back deck in a rage screaming:

“BOTH OF YOU! GET OUT! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs investigators mind clicked into overdrive.

Abby stepped next to him and grabbed his arm. He could feel her body shudder but the only sound she made had been a gasp at Tony’s outburst. He placed his arm around her and drew her into the side of his body giving her a comforting squeeze.

As Tony stood in front of them, breathing heavily, his hands clenched into fists shaking by his side, Gibbs assessed the scene.

Tony was still dressed in the blue jeans and black t-shirt he had on when he came home but he had taken off his shoes and socks.

Gibbs glanced up to the master bedroom window located right above them realizing the window was open and Tony had more than likely heard part of their conversation from there as he went to get a change of clothes before his shower.

Gibbs looked into Tony’s eyes and ignoring the obvious fury asked softly:

“What’s the problem Tony?”

Disbelief added to the anger in Tony’s face as he yelled:

“YOU TWO ARE MY FUCKING PROBLEM! TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK…COMPARING NOTES TO SEE IF I CAN HANDLE SHIT…WELL I CAN HANDLE IT SO FUCK OFF!”

Gibbs and Abby had never seen Tony like this before. He was beyond outraged.

“Tony…”Abby started to cry but Gibbs just kissed her temple and whispered for her to hush, his eyes never leaving Tony’s.

Gibbs didn’t move, just stared down his SFA, as Abby remained quiet, her body shivering.

“FUCK!!!” Tony screamed in frustration as he moved towards the grill and pushed it over, hot coals scattering onto the deck and tumbling down the stairs towards the lawn.

“HA!” Tony laughed looking Gibbs in the eye delighting in his non-verbal challenge of ‘What are you going to do now?’

Gibbs kept his face blank as he moved his arm down from Abby’s shoulder and took her by the hand. She was instantly compliant as he led her past Tony towards the kitchen door. She averted her eyes keeping them plastered to the back of Gibbs head as Tony screamed:

“THAT’S IT…MOVE ALONG…GET OUT….DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON YOUR FUCKING ASS!”

When Gibbs closed the door behind them he caught sight of Tony running down the deck stairs pulling and tearing at anything he could get his hands on.

Abby sobbed and began to collapse into him but he held her firmly by both arms and shook her gently.

“Abby…listen to me….Tony is going to be fine….let me walk you out to your car. Go home and text me when you get there ok…try to relax….trust me Abby…you will have the Tony you know and love back next time you see him….”

Sounds of glass and terra cotta smashing in the backyard made her cringe as she said:

“Fix him Gibbs….make him ok…please!”

“I will Abby…I promise.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seeing Abby safely drive away, Gibbs went back into the house and walked to the kitchen window to see what Tony was up to.

If asked to describe Tony in one word it would be ‘crazed’.

Tony had smashed every pot or ceramic object he could find. He had even beheaded the hideous garden gnome Spence had brought back from a trip to Germany years before.

Gibbs knew Tony hated that gnome due to the fact Spence use to taunt him with it. Spence would “creep” Tony out by placing the gnome in various places to startle him.

It would be standing on the toilet seat when Tony got out of the shower or end up in the backseat of Tony’s car so when he turned around to back up it would be sitting there. It freaked him out.

Tony had even complained one morning in the bullpen that he woke up with the gnome on the pillow next to him in bed. McGee and Kate had laughed hysterically when Tony said he almost wet himself.

Gibbs would have laughed at the memories of the gnome had it been a different situation.

Gibbs watched Tony flip over a picnic bench then head over to the flag pole Spence had erected the week he moved in.

There was not a flag present but Tony violently pushed and pulled trying to topple the 20 foot object.

Gibbs had hoped the adrenaline and anger would have passed already but Tony was not slowing down. He was successfully maintaining what could only be called a “frenzied destructive berserker mode”.

Gibbs frowned knowing he needed to take control of the situation himself.

He also noticed smoke had begun to filter up from a portion of the deck, the coals from the grill smoldering underneath.

Running towards the stairs that would take him to the master bedroom he hoped he wouldn’t have to restrain Tony but figured he should at least be prepared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was sitting on the bed in the master bedroom toeing off his shoes and pulling off his socks when he heard Abby’s voice from the garden.

He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help himself, he was nosy by nature.

He heard everything Abby said and knew she was speaking the truth but he could not control the anger that spread through him.

Calling him manic! And then Gibbs chimed in that they had his best interests at heart…..what was that shit all about? Telling Gibbs she had tried all day to get him to spill and Gibbs saying he knew something was off with Tony that very morning.

‘Ya think Gibbs!’

Of course he was off! Of course something was wrong! Everything was wrong!

FUCK!

His world was turned upside down and flushed sideways.

He sat there, his body rigid trying to keep it all together but all reason and logic slipped away.

He could no longer compartmentalize his emotions as they rushed forward twisted and jumbled.

He came undone.

Now as he pulled and pushed on the metal pole, coherent thought was still somewhat elusive.

He was infuriated, raw and irrational and that worked for him.

Reality snapped to attention when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.

Gibbs was running towards him.

‘What the fuck! I told him to get out!’

Tony felt his face flush in anger but before he could bellow at his bastard of a boss his hands were pulled forcefully forward, slamming his chest into the hard steel flag pole.

Tony emitted a loud “oomph” as Gibbs skillfully clicked handcuffs around Tony’s wrists.

The wind knocked out of him, Tony slumped forward hugging the flagpole against his shocked body.

When Tony was finally able to catch his breath he stood up to face Gibbs who took a step back.

As Tony moved his arms he found he was securely handcuffed around the flagpole.

Tony’s jaw dropped and shock replaced fury as he looked from Gibbs to the cuffs and back to Gibbs.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” Tony screamed at the top of his lungs as he struggled with the cuffs pulling against them.

“Calm down Tony….you’ll break your wrists.” Gibbs said softly.

“TAKE THEM OFF…NOW!” Tony bellowed.

“No…”

“WHAT!? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS!”

“Tony…you need to calm down and get your shit together…”

“DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO ACT….I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FU…”

“Do not make me gag you.” Gibbs said coldly as he held up the ball gag he had found with the handcuffs in Spence’s nightstand drawer.

Tony blushed a deep red but it was with indignation not embarrassment.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH! I SWEAR WHEN I…”

Gibbs struck like a cobra.

He knocked Tony to his knees and had him gagged in seconds.

When Gibbs stood back Tony screamed against the rubber ball in his mouth.

He yelled so much saliva began frothing around the gag making him look like a rabid dog.

Gibbs smirk enraged Tony further.

The handcuffs clinked harshly against the steel pole as Tony fought to get up.

Gibbs knocked Tony back to his knees again and wrapped his body around his struggling agent.

He held Tony in a firm embrace making it impossible for Tony to move.

As Tony’s body heaved in anger and despair Gibbs whispered into his ear:

“You do what you have to do to work this out Tony….you hurt Abby’s feelings and you ruined our dinner. We love you Tony and we loved Spence. Our loss was not the same as yours but lose we did. Call us selfish but we will not lose you too.”

When Gibbs felt Tony’s body stiffen he released his hold on Tony and moved around to face him.

Tony was panting behind the gag and the look in his eyes was wild but Gibbs detected a hint of sorrow and regret beginning to surface.

Gibbs lovingly patted Tony’s face as he said:

“When the Tony DiNozzo I know and count on returns to chase this madman away, I’ll be back to let him go. In the meantime, it’s time out for you while I go extinguish the fire threatening to burn down your house.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hector Zegarra was on his third tequila when his phone rang.

He was bored and sick of hiding out from the law. He was a man of action and he needed to quench his thirst for revenge. He was sick of being patient and having minions do his dirty work. The idiot he sent to destroy the maricon’s (fag’s) property had taken the wrong scythe from his stash of weapons.

The plan had back fired.…now it was inevitable that Hector’s prints would be found or various victims’ blood that soaked into the wooden handle would tie him to countless murders. He could only hope that the police proved to be inept in handling the evidence.

No matter. The idiot who made the mistake died painfully at his hand and he would avenge Jaime and Julio before he slipped back into Mexico.

The phone rang again which brought his thoughts back to the present.

He put down the newspaper he had been reading and looked at the caller ID.

It was his second in command, Carlito Esteban.

“Hola amigo….what news do you have for me?”

“Hefe…I have been watching the maricon as you directed….and get this…. He is currently handcuffed to a flagpole in his backyard.”

“What the fuck?!” Hector said sitting up in his chair surprised.

Carlito chuckled as he said “The maricon went loco and the other hombre living with him cuffed and gagged him.”

Hector laughed and threw back another shot saying:

“Come home Carlito….at least I know the maricon still lives there….excellent work amigo…”

“See you soon hefe…” Carlito said as he started the engine of his landscaping truck.

While staking out Spence’s home that day the neighbor across the street received a beautifully manicured lawn. No one noticed “Carlito’s Landscaping Company” had never been in their neighborhood before that day.

As Carlito sped away, no one in the neighborhood, including Tony and Gibbs, were the wiser.

Hector picked up the newspaper and glared at the photo he had been staring at for the last hour.

He scowled seeing Linda Spencer crying as he read the caption “The Reality of Grief”.

He read the article again making sure he noted that the service for Riley Spencer was being held on Tuesday. It was private but Hector had a gut feeling that race traitor cop, Joe Alvarez, would be there to see his partner off.

With another shot of tequila burning in his gut, Hector sat back and wondered who he wanted to kill.

The race traitor cop, the widow or the maricon.

Hector laughed and raising the bottle of tequila to his lips polished it off.

He would not decide yet…he would let opportunity be his guide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. It is sizzling here in the desert but nothing new there. I wanted to thank everyone again for reading and the kudos/comments. It's funny but I saw a comment someone who started this story posted which said "Too soap-ish with no end in sight". Ouch...that kinda hurt but when I thought about it I can't say that statement isn't wrong. I am very zen and drama free in my personal life but enjoy high drama and over the top circumstances in fiction so I write this story for myself but gift it to all of you who like it too. So THANK YOU for the soap comment but there is an end in sight.....I have 65 chapters already written and hope to conclude this story at 70.


	40. Chapter 40

The sun had slipped away during the chaos but a full moon had appeared to illuminate the yard.

From his confined position Tony looked around.

The additional destruction he brought to the already destroyed vegetable garden filled him with a strange satisfaction. The demolished terracotta pots, the cement birdbath he had toppled over and the overturned benches and chairs he had thrown around, made the yard look like a tornado had touched down.

His role, in the now complete annihilation of Spence’s pride and joy, his beloved backyard, began to change from satisfaction to sorrow until he spied “Bruno” the gnome.

Tony sat on the hard ground, his gangly legs spread in a “v” around the flag pole, cuffs tight around his bloody and bruised wrists, hands gently resting on the other side of the cold steel pole.

From this position, the gnome was in Tony’s direct line of sight.

Bruno’s hideous face mocked him.

He remembered swinging something heavy, taking the gnome’s head clean off its body-which still stood rooted to the ground. Tony stared at the severed head, the face ugly with its grotesque smile and wide creepy eyes that seemed to stare right back.

Tony did not know how the gnome got his name.

He also never understood Spence’s affection for it.

All Tony knew was he hated that damn gnome and Bruno had to go!

Tony had tried to take it out, yet there it was, right in front of him.

‘How fucking poetic’ he thought as he tried to look away.

He shivered, wondering what kind of childhood trauma he had endured, then suppressed, leaving him with an innate fear of gnomes and clowns…..and leprechauns…. they scared the hell out of him too.

He could stare down the barrel of a gun and not blink, but show him a clown and he could piss himself.

Logically, he knew the fear was irrational.

Spence had played his fears against him when an opportunity arose trying to help Tony overcome them.

Although Spence felt it his duty to try and help Tony with his fears, Tony knew to never, ever fuck with Spence where his fear was concerned.

Tony chuckled to himself remembering Spence’s fear of spiders.

He recalled a time when Spence had screamed out for Tony to help him in the guest bathroom.

Tony had rushed to his side thinking Spence was hurt only to find his lover cowering like a little kid pointing into the bathtub with a petrified look on his face screaming “SPIDER!” then demanding “Get it out of there, Tone! Get it…KILL IT!”

Tony’s first reaction was to laugh but he could tell Spence was truly scared so he remained quiet.

Tony liked spiders so he reached in and let the spider crawl onto his hand. He then carried it to the bathroom window, opened it and released the arachnid onto the outside sill.

He closed the window and when he turned back, Spence was standing, frozen; in disbelief…his mouth open in shock as his eyes darted from Tony’s face to his hand and back to his face.

“You touched it with your bare hand!?” Spence said with disgust.

Tony smiled as he reached out to comfort Spence saying:

“It’s okay Spence…I got rid of the big bad spi….”

Spence pulled away in horror saying “Don’t you touch me with your fricking spider hand!!”

He rushed out of the bathroom, stomping buck naked down the hall yelling:

“Don’t you even think about touching me until you have washed that spider shit off your hands, DiNozzo!”

Tony burst into laughter, admiring the view as Spence made his escape.

As he washed his hands Tony wondered how a bad-assed marine, who fought in war and dealt with shit on the streets of DC day in and out, could run like a frightened child from something so small and insignificant.

‘Irrational fears?’ Tony pondered leaning forward against the flag pole.

‘What did Spence do when he was home alone and a spider made an appearance?’ he wondered.

Tony knew first hand that it was nice being with someone who loved you, who you were comfortable sharing your fears with…. someone who tried to help quell your fears…..someone who was always there by your side.

Tony knew it was juvenile but irrational fears could do that to you.

To have someone protect you, hold you; take down the “bogeyman” just for you.

It was like an open invitation to be weak and needy…a gift.

Tony had never had that kind of intimacy before. He should have gotten that security from his parents but he had been shortchanged.

Sure he counted on Gibbs and the team to protect him in the field and he trusted them with his life.

They also knew he could be counted on to protect them…lay down his own life if need be.

It was different with Spence….Tony didn’t have a lot of experience with relationships to really know the difference but he guessed it had everything to do with their ability to be completely intimate with each other….and Tony was not thinking about their great sex life.

Tony would always cherish his time with Spence and the thought of many years ahead alone without him, without love, scared him more than he wanted to admit.

Now that Tony had a fear of being alone he knew he would have to deal with it as best he could.

Even though Tony’s mind was troubled, he knew Spence would expect nothing less.

The smell of smoke and the sound of the garden hose blasting at full force caught Tony’s attention.

Looking past the gnome his gaze fell on his boss.

Gibbs was working diligently cleaning up Tony’s mess. Gibbs used the garden hose to extinguish the hot coals then used a shovel he had found near the decapitated gnome and used it to rake over them and then sprayed them down again.

The sound of hot steam began to subside as the smoke turned from black, to white, and then disappeared.

Gibbs placed his hand over the wet ash then touched it.

Tony knew it was cold based on Gibbs reaction.

Gibbs reached down and righted the grill and began to clean off the back deck.

Gibbs focused on the task at hand ignoring Tony.

Tony thought about what Gibbs had said about not ‘losing you too’.

The fact was Tony already felt lost. He knew he was on a roller coaster of emotion and had little control.

At that moment he would happily crawl into the grave with Spence and give up completely.

He shook his head trying to clear his head of such thoughts.

He knew there were several things that would stop him from completing that morbid task.

One…he wouldn’t do that to Abby. Two….he couldn’t do it to Gibbs. Three…Spence would be pissed.

He thought about Spence’s dying message for him ‘….I love you and want you to have a wonderful life…’‘

Tony knew logically Spence meant those words and would want Tony to live a full life until his time was up. It was the emotions of Spence’s death and all the other crap piled onto Tony over the last week that was causing him to unravel. He knew he needed to pull it together. Abby’s observations had been correct. Tony had been “on” all day, trying so desperately to appear okay when he was anything but.

Tony could not believe he had gone ballistic, hurting two people he knew loved him and were there for him. He owed Abby a huge apology. He hoped she could forgive him. Deep down he knew she would although he felt he probably didn’t deserve it.

Even though he knew he had been wrong, his anger towards Gibbs for handcuffing him and then gagging him were still raw.

Tony watched Gibbs finishing up as he huffed against his gag, the taste of rubber turning his stomach.

He had tried to pull the gag from his mouth but it was tight and secure at the back of his head and he was unable to reach the clasp.

The ball gag was meant as a joke when Tony gave it to Spence with a special edition of “Pulp Fiction” for his last birthday.

Spence had laughed and threatened to gag Tony many times but they had never used it.

Tony slumped further against the flag pole, his right shoulder bearing the weight of his body, as he leaned forward to rest. His eyes burned as he fought a desire to cry. Instead of giving into tears he allowed exhaustion to set in, taking over the last bit of adrenaline running through his body.

As he closed his eyes to rest he wondered how Leroy Jethro Gibbs was so proficient with a ball gag.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took every ounce of his strength to ignore Tony’s struggles as he walked over to fight the impending fire. Tony’s rage had reignited as Gibbs walked away and the sound of metal scrapping metal ground on Gibbs resolve. Gibbs worried Tony would injure himself fighting the cuffs but he knew he needed to let Tony cool down on his own.

As expected, Tony’s outburst lessoned, the sound of metal on metal disappeared and eventually Tony was quiet.

Gibbs fought the urge to look over at him instead concentrating on hosing down the hot coals.

When Gibbs was satisfied the fire was no longer a threat he finally looked over at Tony.

In the moonlight Gibbs could see Tony sitting motionless leaning heavily against the flag pole.

Gibbs quietly approached Tony noting that his SFA sat just like a marionette who had been placed back on a shelf.

He bent down as he whispered “Tony?”

When Tony didn’t respond Gibbs lifted Tony’s chin.

Tony was sound asleep; his usually beautiful face was now puffy and covered with traces of dirt, dried saliva and snot.

Gibbs smile was unseen but filled with affection as he lowered Tony’s chin and unclasped the gag.

He gently removed it from Tony’s mouth then pulled out the handcuff keys to unlock Tony’s wrists.

He placed the cuffs and gag in his pocket as he knelt down to look at Tony’s wrists.

Gibbs felt a wave of nausea seeing the bruised and bloody flesh, signs that Tony fought hard against his restraints.

“Tony?” Gibbs asked as he gently nudged Tony’s shoulder “C’mon Tony it’s time to go inside.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Tony woke Sunday morning he was not surprised to be curled up around Gibbs.

He was surprised to find his wrists heavily wrapped and throbbing.

He tried to sit up without waking Gibbs but the action caused the room to spin.

He flopped down on his back, eyes closed, his head landing on a soft pillow.

He tried to suppress a groan but was unsuccessful.

“How are you feeling Tony?” Gibbs asked his voice rough from sleep.

Tony felt Gibbs move and when he opened his eyes Gibbs was above him looking down with genuine concern.

The events of the previous day and night flooded Tony’s brain.

He threw his right arm over his eyes, embarrassed as he said:

“God, Jethro…I know you’ll think I’m weak but I am so sorry about last night. I’m sorry for hurting Abby’s feelings…for ruining your dinner…..for going nuts and acting like a psycho….”

“It’s alright Tony….you are not weak….life has dumped a lot on you and it was only a matter of time before you had a major meltdown. This is going to take time Tony…just remember we are here to help you…”

When Tony moved his arm to look at Gibbs in the eyes Gibbs smiled and said “I am here to help you.”

“Thanks boss” Tony smiled up at Gibbs with gratitude.

Staring up into Gibbs beautiful blue eyes sent heat rushing throughout Tony’s body.

Tony fought an urge to reach up and grasp Gibbs around the back of his neck and drawn him down for a tender kiss.

His eyes must have revealed his inner desire because Gibbs eyes grew wide with shock.

Before Gibbs could say anything Tony looked away and struggled to move to the side of the bed saying:

“I got to hit the head.”

“You need help?” Gibbs asked as he got out of bed feeling flustered.

“No…I’m good thanks.” Tony answered as he made his way to the bathroom avoiding eye contact.

“Okay…I’ll see you downstairs?”

“Yep…be down in a bit.” Tony assured him.

As Tony closed the bathroom door and Gibbs made his way downstairs both men would be startled to know they shared the same thought:

'What the fuck!’


	41. Chapter 41

Gibbs walked down the stairs, his mind in a fog.

He was sure Tony had wanted to kiss him. It felt like it and the look in Tony’s eyes gave him away.

‘Tony may wear many masks but his eyes never lie’

At least people who knew Tony well could always tell if he tried to hide something.

Gibbs remembered Spence saying you could see deep into Tony’s soul just by looking into his eyes.

Gibbs smiled, missing Spence, as he entered the kitchen, grabbed the empty coffee pot and placed it under the water faucet.

As the water ran, Gibbs looked out the kitchen window into the garden. It was a complete mess.

He sighed with relief that Tony apologized and wasn’t angry with him. Gibbs hoped Tony understood he was really just trying to help him. The handcuffs and gag may have been over the top but Tony had been so out of control Gibbs was afraid they would have eventually ended up in a physical altercation.

A violent encounter was not the kind of encounter Gibbs had in mind when thinking about Tony.

The coffee set to brew, Gibbs pulled down two mugs from the cupboard thinking how thankful he was that the events of the previous night had ended calmly.

Gibbs had struggled to get Tony up off the ground and into the house.

He had to resort to barking orders like he did at work to get Tony to move.

Tony had followed Gibbs instructions automatically but Gibbs could tell Tony was physically drained and mentally absent.

Gibbs helped Tony shower, dressed the wounded wrists, gave Tony two pain pills and tucked him in.

Tony was out the minute he closed his eyes.

Gibbs had achieved all of that in less than an hour without Tony saying a single word.

Gibbs was momentarily startled when his phone rang:

“Mornin’ Abs”

“Hey bossman….did you fix my Tony?”

Gibbs laughed as he walked from the kitchen, through the living room to stop at the flight of stairs.

He wanted to make sure Tony couldn’t hear this conversation.

Glancing up to the second floor Gibbs felt the coast was clear as he said:

“Well…I think things fixed themselves, Abs. Why don’t we try again and you come over for dinner tonight? Still got the steaks….”

“Would love that Gibbs but can’t tonight….I’m calling from Metro’s forensics lab….I’m working with their techs…we recovered two sets of prints from the scythe…..several clear prints of Zegarra’s were found on the blade where it meets the wood…. and a partial in the same area for one Ruben Santiago…he is one of Zegarra’s crew.”

Gibbs walked back into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Sitting down at the kitchen table he said:

“Metro put out a BOLO?”

“Yep…of course they have had one out on Zegarra since he attacked Tony….Santiago has been added.”

“Seems Zegarra got sloppy, Abs” Gibbs said doubting Zegarra was the one who actually ripped up the garden. He had no doubt Zegarra was the mastermind but leaving behind prints and possible blood evidence was a rookie mistake.

More than likely it was Ruben Santiago who had been the late night visitor.

“Any word back on the scythe handle?” he asked

Abby knew Gibbs wanted to know if they had found blood evidence there.

“That’s why I am here actually and why I am calling. We are working on that now…..you were right though…the dark stains on the wooden handle are definitely blood. We are working on blood type and possible DNA as we speak. We will be working most of the night so we’ll have information for tomorrow’s joint task meeting. Are you bringing Tony with you tomorrow?”

“I want to unless he has other plans. He still has a week off and with the moving and the service on Tuesday….I won’t leave him alone though….not until he is out of this house or back at work.”

“You can have him stay with me in the lab.”

“Let me check with him Abby….I’ll call you later okay?”

“You got it…and Gibbs?”

“Yeah Abs?”

“Tell Tony I love him will you?”

“He knows Abby…but I’ll remind him.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony sat on the floor of the bathroom, his back against the wall, staring at his reflection in the dressing mirror directly across from him.

He stared intently trying to recognize the person gazing back.

What was the person behind those eyes thinking?

The fact was the man in the mirror was not thinking and that needed to stop…now.

He had almost made a move on his boss….almost kissed him.

He wanted to but he wasn’t even sure why. No…that was wrong…he knew all the “whys”.

He loved Gibbs…no secret there. Gibbs was always there for him….the man had said the words….hell…Gibbs had also told Tony he loved him. But Tony knew Gibbs loved him as a friend so why would Tony do such a dumb thing as to threaten his friendship? Then there was Spence….

Tony looked away. He couldn’t stand looking at himself anymore. He was weak and he was out of control. He was so scared to be alone that he knew he couldn’t trust himself if he spent another night in bed with Gibbs…however innocent it might have been.

Avoiding the mirror Tony grabbed the side of the bathtub and pulled himself up. His wrists hurt but he ignored the pain. He splashed water on his face and walked back into the master bedroom. Taking out a pen and some paper from his nightstand he sat on the bed and made a list.

He scribbled out how he expected the day to go and then pulled out his cell phone.

He scanned through his contacts and when he found the one he wanted he hit send.

“Hey Tony!”

“Hey…sorry to call you so early but I was wondering if you could do a favor for me tonight?”

“Sure….anything….what do you need?”

“Um…I know this may sound kinda weird but I need a bodyguard…think you can spend the night tonight? I am moving over the next few days and anticipate this will be my last night here.”

“I can do that…what time do you need me there?”

“Would 9 pm be okay?”

“That would be perfect. Do you need me to bring anything? Pillows, blankets?

“No…I have a guest room with your name on it!”

“Alright then…see you around 9 pm Tony.”

Tony worried about hurting Gibbs feelings but it had to be this way. Gibbs had done enough already.

He would spend the day with his boss, thank him for his time and send him back to his own home.

Tony would get packed and be ready to spend his first night in his new place on Monday night.

“Thanks Mark….I appreciate your help on such short notice.” Tony said relieved that Mark Jensen could help him out.

“I’m happy to help you out! I’d do anything for you…you know that don’t you Tony?”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my very favorite chapters. Especially the end. =)

“Hey…Just got off the phone with Abby…she wanted me to let you know she loves you.”

Gibbs said as Tony entered the kitchen heading directly for the coffee.

Tony had dressed in jeans and a plain grey t-shirt. The shirt was rather loose and looked really soft. Gibbs fought the desire to reach out and touch it. He wanted to feel the soft material and the firm body underneath.

Tony’s voice broke the spell.

“After screaming at her last night, and acting like an ass, I don’t deserve her love.”

Gibbs frowned as Tony fixed his coffee and joined Gibbs at the table.

“Shit happens Tony….like I told you we are here to help you.”

Tony had a hard time looking at Gibbs in the face. He stared at his mug of coffee, wrapping both hands around it for warmth. He was trying to work up the courage to let his boss know he appreciated all he had done but Tony had a set plan now and he was determined to see it through.

Of course that plan meant Gibbs had to leave.

‘Maybe he’ll be happy to get away from me and my drama’ Tony thought.

Gibbs drank his coffee and watched Tony carefully. He could tell Tony had something on his mind and was mentally processing it. Gibbs could always tell because Tony avoided looking at him.

Gibbs could wait Tony out but in the meantime he had news.

“Abby is working with Metro today in preparation for tomorrow’s meeting. Do you want to be there?”

Tony looked up somewhat surprised saying “Yes….I’d like to be there. Like you have always said boss “Know your enemy”, right? Well Zegarra is my enemy number one right now.”

‘Next to Linda’ Tony thought but didn’t share.

Gibbs nodded in agreement then proceeded to tell Tony everything Abby had disclosed to him.

When he was through, Tony hung his head again and Gibbs was tired of waiting.

“Spit it out Tony…what’s going on in your mind?”

Tony sighed and looking at Gibbs he dug something out of his pants pocket.

He unfolded the item and handed it over to Gibbs.

As his boss read his list of things to do, Tony worked up his courage and said:

“This is what my plans are for today boss. I’m going to pack and make arrangements for the move. I plan on being out of here by Wednesday at the latest but tomorrow night will be my first night at the apartment. I need to make a trip to a hardware store today and I’d like to take you to lunch in appreciation for all you have done for me.”

Tony had covered everything on his list except the last item.

Gibbs looked up and said quietly “You don’t want me to stay tonight?”

Tony saw the hurt in Gibbs eyes and as much as it pained him to see that, he took a deep breath and said:

“Tonight is my last night here and I need some time alone” he lied.

“Jethro, this is a big change for me as you know. I was hoping you’d hang out with me today while I pack…we’d go to the store…have some lunch…then maybe have those steaks and salad you prepared for us last night for dinner. Then you can head home…I’m sure you miss being there…get a good night’s sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

“I don’t like the idea of you sleeping here alone, Tony…Zegarra is still on the loose!” Gibbs said trying to control the panic he felt inside. Gibbs knew using the gang leader was a logical ruse but the reality was he was being selfish…he was the one who did not want to be alone.

“I knew you would be nervous if I was here by myself so I arranged to have a bodyguard….”

Gibbs wanted to scream ‘I am your bodyguard!’ but he didn’t.

He folded up the list and handed it back to Tony saying: “Whatever you need Tony.”

Gibbs was happy his voice was steady and sounded supportive. Inside he felt crushed and sad.

He must have reassured his SFA because Tony grinned with genuine happiness.

‘That wasn’t so bad’ Tony thought as he stood up and headed for the coffee maker.

“Refill boss?”

“Sure” Gibbs replied with more enthusiasm than he actually felt.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day progressed just as Tony wanted it to.

They shared a quick breakfast and began the task at hand.

The two men worked as a team going room to room packing up the items Tony planned to take with him.

Tony appreciated that Gibbs let him boss him around, directing Gibbs in the packing process.

Tony joked he could get use to telling Gibbs what to do and was not surprised to get a head slap and a Gibbs glare in response.

Gibbs laughed when Tony pouted dramatically rubbing the back of his head.

Grinning at Gibbs, Tony eased them back into their packing routine, working in sync like they always did.

From the kitchen, Tony took the pots and pans and a set of knives he and Spence had purchased together.

Tony also made sure to take Spence’s chipped USMC coffee mug and the glow in the dark skull mug they had bought for Abby.

In the living room, they boxed up all of Tony’s DVDs, CDs and the books that were his. Tony had scanned all the photos of Spence he wanted to keep onto a thumb drive. He would have copies printed up later. He would make good on his promise to Linda leaving her all the originals.

He packed up his laptop and set it next to the couch.

Gibbs watched as Tony took the framed photo of himself and Spence off the piano.

Gibbs knew Tony was having a rough time but he was impressed at how well Tony was holding up.

Tony stared at the photo for a few moments then folded the stand and slipped it into the bag holding his laptop.

He then walked around the room placing stickers on the larger items he was planning to take with him-the piano, the black leather couch, the flat screen TV.

In the office, Tony took Spence’s “Henry yellow boy” rifle from the safe and several handguns that were his.

He also kept Spence’s “Starsky” sweater, wrapping it carefully, hoping to preserve the scent.

When they were done with the main floor Tony said:

“Ready for some grub boss?”

“I could eat.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They spent about an hour enjoying Vietnamese food at a new place in Georgetown.

Over lunch Gibbs offered to get his truck so he could help Tony take over some of the items to his new apartment that afternoon. Tony agreed so they drove by Gibbs house so he could trade the Challenger for the Chevy.

Tony pointed out a hardware store on the trip back so Gibbs pulled over and waited for Tony to do what he needed to do. When Tony returned 15 minutes later he held out a key to Gibbs.

Gibbs took it and was surprised to find the key was covered in a camouflage laminate.

“Your key to my new apartment boss….thought you’d like the hunter/sniper theme. Here’s the one I got for Abby.”

Gibbs laughed seeing the key in Tony’s hand. It was black with a white skull with a pink bow at the top.

When they got back to Tony’s house they headed upstairs.

“This won’t take very long boss. I want to remove the headboard you gave us and I need to pack up my clothes…”

Gibbs snorted saying “I’ve seen your closet DiNozzo….packing up your clothes will take a long time!”

Tony frowned saying “I’m prepared Gibbs! I bought wardrobe boxes that will make it very easy!”

“Good…then you pack the boxes and I’ll take care of the headboard!”

Gibbs removed the headboard and carried it downstairs. He placed a sticker on it per Tony’s instruction.

Heading into the kitchen he rummaged around until he found some garbage bags. He grabbed a few and headed back upstairs.

“Can I just empty those dresser drawers in here?” Gibbs asked holding up the bags.

“Great idea boss….let me have one of those will ya?” Tony said reaching out for a bag.

Gibbs worked on emptying the dresser of socks and underwear as Tony made his way to Spence’s side of the bed.

Tony pulled out the nightstand drawer and dumped the contents onto the bed.

Gibbs watched Tony gather up the condoms, lube, cock ring, blind fold and the handcuffs and throw them into the garbage bag.

Tony looked over at Gibbs and said “Don’t want Spence’s kids to find this stuff ya know?”

Tony picked up the ball gag and smiling at Gibbs said “You were pretty skilled with this thing boss…makes me wonder where you learned to…”

Tony stopped speaking when he noticed Gibbs blush.

He had known the man for a long time and had never seen this reaction.

Gibbs turned away but Tony could see his face in the dresser mirror.

“What?!” Gibbs huffed “We used them in interrogations….Desert Storm….”

Tony laughed.

“Sure boss….whatever you say…..” Tony said as he threw the ball gag into the bag.

“I’ll be right back” Tony added as he walked past Gibbs wearing a shit eating grin on his face.

Gibbs walked over to the window and waited for Tony to appear in the garden. Tony carried the garbage bag over to the trash can and tossed it in. He then went around picking up the furniture he had toppled and gathered shards of broken pottery adding them to the garbage can.

Gibbs was amused to see Tony standing with his hands on his hips looking down at the gnome.

He laughed when Tony picked up the severed head and stomped over to the trash bin and threw it in. He then went back for the body. Tony struggled with it, trying to dislodge it from the ground.

Within minutes it was free and then it too was taking up residence in the bin.

Tony slammed the lid down onto the can and dusting off his hands made his way back to the house.

Tony’s actions made Gibbs feel very proud. Tony was pulling it together. Gibbs knew Tony was a survivor.

His feelings of pride soon turned to fear.

If Tony could now stand on his own where did that leave Gibbs?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They loaded the truck with the headboard,laptop, the guns, the music and movies, some of Tony’s clothes and toiletries and a bag of towels.

After they unloaded their cargo, Tony gave Gibbs a tour of his new place.

It took less than 2 minutes.

The goldfish and the twin bed were strange to Gibbs but he kept his opinions to himself.

The apartment was small but was perfect for one.

Gibbs knew Tony was closer to work but it wasn’t lost on him that Tony was farther from him.

He wondered if that was a conscious choice on Tony’s part.

Gibbs felt a strange feeling of anger and possessiveness stirring inside him.

He did his best to force those thoughts from his mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By 7pm they were done for the day.

The sound of steak sizzling in the broiler filled the kitchen as Tony set the table and Gibbs pulled the salad from the fridge.

By 8pm they were eating a delicious meal.

“These steaks are incredible! I’m sorry Abby missed out.” Tony said with regret

“I just hope she gets some rest before tomorrow. According to Ducky, Abby’s caffeine intake is off the charts!” Gibbs added

“Huh….probably ranked right below yours boss!” Tony chided him

Gibbs grimaced but smiled at Tony saying “Probably.”

Tony got up suddenly and pulled two beers from the fridge.

He twisted off the caps and handed one to Gibbs. They tapped the bottle necks together then took a drink.

“Well…this is my last dinner in this house and I am happy you are with me boss. It just seems appropriate.”

“How so?” Gibbs asked seeing Tony’s eyes get misty.

“I would not have had this life if it had not been for you.” Tony said quietly.

‘You would not have had all this pain if I had stayed out of your love life’ Gibbs thought

“I want to thank you again, Jethro…for your friendship, your support, my job and my NCIS family…and most of all thank you for introducing me to Spence. I have been working on a eulogy for Spence I hope I get to give on Tuesday. He was the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Gibbs set his beer down on the table trying to hide his trembling hand.

Tony’s emotional candor was breaking through Gibbs emotional armor.

“Thanks for saving my life twice this week…..thanks for standing by me in all of this….I can honestly say if you had not stepped in and taken control, helped me when I couldn’t help myself, been a voice of reason among the chaos I would probably be sitting in a padded cell somewhere, drooling on my straight jacket.”

Tony laughed nervously as he stood up and carried his plate to the sink.

Gibbs sat quietly not knowing how to respond. They had worked in almost complete silence all day and now Tony was thanking him in a way that sounded like goodbye.

Gibbs looked at the time and asked “What time is this bodyguard showing up?”

“He should be here any minute.”

Gibbs stood and carried his plate over to Tony who was now cleaning up.

Gibbs grabbed a dishtowel to dry the plates Tony was washing but stopped when Tony said:

“Don’t worry about this….I’ll take care of it. Thanks again for dinner and all your help today boss…it’s getting kind of late though and we all have a big day tomorrow….do you need some help with your bag?”

Tony cringed inwardly….he knew he sounded dismissive boarding on rude but he had to get Gibbs to leave.

Gibbs felt like he had been kicked in the balls.

He didn’t want to admit that his feelings were hurt.

He had been right…..Tony was saying goodbye.

It was like Tony buttered him up with the compliments as he casually said get the fuck out!

Gibbs threw the towel on the counter and walked to the staircase. Taking the stairs two at a time he ignored the pain in his left knee as he headed into the master bedroom and started slamming his clothes into his duffle bag.

‘SHIT!’ Tony thought as he left the kitchen and headed towards the stairs. He knew he had blown it. He meant everything he said to Gibbs…he couldn’t have gotten through any of this without him.

A knock on the front door halted Tony’s climb up the stairs.

He quickly turned off the alarm and opened the front door.

Mark Jensen smiled at Tony as Tony stepped aside letting Mark enter the front room.

“Thanks for coming Mark…..” Tony began but turned as he heard Gibbs running down the stairs.

Gibbs came to a halt when he saw Mark Jensen standing behind Tony.

Tony had turned towards Gibbs but Gibbs stared past him looking directly at Jensen.

Mark Jensen’s warm smile faded from his face.

Tony did not see Jensen’s eyes darken or the cruel smirk he shot at Gibbs.

Gibbs could swear Jensen’s stance bore an “I won” attitude.

Steve Adler had been correct, this guy was bad news.

Gibbs could not understand how Tony couldn’t see it.

“This is your body guard?” Gibbs said sarcastically.

“What!?” Tony said not understanding the tone in Gibbs voice.

“Um…yes….you remember Mark….he played basketball with….”

“I know who he is DiNozzo.” Gibbs said coldly as he walked towards the front door.

Tony didn’t want Gibbs to leave being angry with him so he turned to Mark, who now looked shocked at Gibbs rude behavior, and said:

“The guest room is at the top of the stairs and to the left….make yourself at home Mark…I’ll be right back.”

Tony then rushed out of the house catching Gibbs just before he got into his truck.

Tony grabbed his arm and spun Gibbs around saying:

“What the fuck is your problem!? I get that I pissed you off….I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to sound so rude but…..”

Gibbs pulled away from Tony but then got right in his face and hissed:

“Are you fucking insane? Why the hell would you call that son of a bitch?”

Tony stepped back not understanding Gibbs response.

Why was Gibbs so angry about Jensen being there?

Tony could understand Gibbs being upset at Tony’s behavior but this…..

“You really don’t get it do you Anthony?”

Tony felt his facial features go from confusion to anger as he spit back:

“I guess not, Jethro…why don’t you fucking enlighten me!”

Gibbs huffed and took a step back.

He looked towards the house and saw Jensen standing on the front porch. He was in the shadows so Gibbs couldn’t see his face. Tony turned to see where Gibbs was looking.

When Gibbs began to pace back and forth Tony turned around and said:

“What is going….”

Before Tony could finish his inquiry Gibbs pushed him back against his truck and grabbing the back of Tony’s neck pulled him forward crushing their lips together.

Tony’s body went rigid in shock but when Gibbs pushed his tongue forcefully into Tony’s mouth he melted into the kiss.

Tony went into a dream state…he couldn’t wrap his mind around what was happening.

When Gibbs moved his arm behind Tony’s waist and pulled him closer…..Tony did not resist.

He submitted without thought.

Tony had remained still, his hands firmly planted against the truck as Gibbs dominated the kiss

When Tony finally moved to embrace Gibbs the kiss was broken.

Gibbs pushed him back towards the house, got into his truck and drove away.

Tony reached up and ran his fingers against his bruised but well kissed lips as he watched the taillights of Gibbs truck fade into the night.

His brain was blank for several minutes until two words came to mind:

‘Holy shit!’


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really dark and disturbing chapter towards the end.

“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”

Gibbs screamed as he repeatedly slammed his fists against the truck’s steering wheel.

The red light was taking forever, giving him too much time to think about the shit he had just jumped into.

How was he ever going to face Tony after what he just did?

The light turned green and he stomped on the gas.

He drove like a maniac, his thoughts running a mile a minute.

The devil on his left shoulder whispered:

“Don’t worry…he was into it….he wants you!”

The angel on the opposite side scolded:

“How could you? Taking advantage of a friend who just lost the love of his life!”

Had he taken advantage of Tony?

“Hell no!” His devil voice said “You helped that jerk and look what he did to YOU…after all YOU did for him he has the nerve to tell YOU to go? And then he called that asshole in to take your place…DiNozzo should be on his knees sucking your dick!”

Gibbs smirked at the thought of that.

He could picture Tony on his knees in front of him as he held his head in a vice like grip, fucking his hot, sexy mouth. He imagined ramming himself down Tony’s throat, gagging him with his dick as he shot load after load of hot seed making Tony swallow it all.

“My God!” His angel voice cried out “Are you a beast? Thoughts like this are the devil’s work…”

“Ya think?” his devil voice interrupted smugly.

“ENOUGH!” Gibbs said loudly sending his inner voices on their way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Did my bodyguard duties include keeping your boss away from you?”

“What!?” Tony said, turning suddenly, startled by the voice directly behind him.

Mark Jensen was the epitome of concern as he placed his hand on Tony’s right shoulder and gave it a loving squeeze.

“Is Gibbs a problem? Did he force himself of you? I am a witness…I can testify he sexually harassed you!”

Tony almost laughed but then felt like he might cry.

“No!” he said “Gibbs was not sexually harassing me….and he is not a problem…it’s just…”

Tony looked at Mark who raised an eyebrow waiting for his response.

“It’s just complicated I guess….forget it ok?” Tony pointed towards the house.

“Let’s just get inside.”

Mark followed Tony back into the house.

If Tony could see the way Mark Jensen watched him as he moved he would be terrified.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs drove his truck up onto his lawn not caring that he should have just parked in the drive way.

He got out of the truck and slammed the door. Like his front door, he never bothered to lock it.

He stomped up his front steps and threw open the door, then slammed it closed.

He made his way to the basement. He pulled a jar full of nails off his workbench and tossed them about with the flick of his wrist. He reached down and pulled out his best stock of bourbon-an 80 year old, 100 proof, bottle of Old Charter that Tony had given him for Christmas.

Bourbon was sipping liquor but Gibbs was on his second shot of it when his phone rang. 

It was Abby.

“Hey Abs.”

She paused for only a moment before saying:

“Oh my God, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Tony okay? Something is wrong! What’s wrong Gibbs?!”

He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second.

‘How did she always know?’

“Everything is fine Abby!” he lied “Why are you calling?”

He heard her harrumph before saying:

“I’m calling to let you know we found many different blood types on the scythe’s handle…and all the blood is human.”

Gibbs placed his jar of bourbon on the workbench and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt a stress headache dying to make an appearance.

“Were you able to get any DNA evidence?”

“No…we weren’t” Abby said defeated “We just couldn’t recover enough of it to run DNA.”

“Were you able to figure out how many victims were slaughtered with that weapon?”

“As you know bossman, there are four principal types of blood: A, B, AB, and O. There are two antigens and two antibodies that are mostly responsible for the ABO types. The specific combination of these four components determines an individual's type…..”

“Abby! Pass the science lesson and give me a number!”

“Right…..the sick part of all this Gibbs is we were able to type at least 20 different victims.”

Gibbs sighed feeling helpless.

“I have some other bad news I’m afraid, bossman.”

Gibbs merely grunted as she continued.

“They pulled Ruben Santiago’s body out of the Potomac this afternoon. His throat was slit just like Spence’s informant, Ricky Hernandez. Ducky said he had been tortured for hours before the final cut.”

Gibbs thought he might puke.

Exhaustion began to set in as he said “Thanks for calling Abby…I’ll…”

She cut him off saying:

“Where’s Tony? Is he coming in tomorrow? You aren’t with him are you?”

Damn it!

“I’m at home Abs and I have to go….”

“Where’s Tony, Gibbs?” She demanded.

“He’s at home being guarded by a Metro cop named Mark Jensen.”

“What happened between the two of you? You told me you fixed him, Gibbs!”

“Damn it Abby! Back off already! Tony is fine and you will see him tomorrow! Get some rest and I will see you in the morning, alright?!”

“Fine! But nothing better happen to my Tony, Gibbs…..there will be hell to pay if he is not okay!”

Gibbs was stunned when Abby hung up on him.

“Fuck!” he yelled picking up the jar of bourbon and throwing it against the cement wall.

There was little satisfaction in his actions.

He went up to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

He didn’t have the luxury of getting drunk.

He had a big day tomorrow but before he made his way to bed, and tried to sleep, he had two calls he needed to make.

It took him a few minutes to get it together but when he was in boss mode he hit speed dial 1 which connected to Tony’s cell phone.

Gibbs was happy it went to voice mail. He knew he was stalling but then he became worried.

He hung up and dialed Spence’s home phone number.

It rang a few times and then a male voice answered “Hello?”

It wasn’t Tony.

“Jensen…its Gibbs…put Tony on.”

There was silence and then Gibbs heard a faint chuckle as Jensen said:

“Tony’s sleeping, Gibbs…you’ll see him tomorrow.”

“You better fucking protect him with your life Jensen! Nothing better happen to…”

“Like what Gibbs? Like I sexually assault him when his murdered boyfriend is barely in his grave a week?”

It was a low blow and Gibbs hung up absolutely enraged.

He breathed heavily trying to control his anger.

When he felt he had a semblance of control he hit speed dial 3.

McGee answered, stifling a yawn.

“Hey boss…”

“Hey Tim….I need a favor.”

“Okay” McGee said instantly alert.

“I need you to hack Mark Jensen’s juvenile records as soon as possible.”

“I can do that boss but it may take a day or so.”

“Work your magic McGee…and this is just between us alright.”

“Sure boss….is Tony okay?”

Gibbs rolled his eyes thinking ‘I hope to God Tony is fine’ but said to McGee:

“DiNozzo’s fine…you’ll see him tomorrow.”

Gibbs hung up and sitting on his couch he ran his hand over his face wondering how things got so fucked up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Earlier

“You want a beer?” Tony asked Mark as he re-set the alarm then headed towards the kitchen.

“Sure!” Jensen said as he followed, never taking his eyes of Tony’s ass.

“By the way…the alarm code is “bite me” in case you need to use it.” Tony said

Jensen chuckled as he thought about biting Tony’s ass. He knew he would enjoy that very much.

Jensen sat at the table and thanked Tony as the cold bottle of beer was placed in front of him.

“So why am I here Tony?” Jensen asked as he took a swig of beer.

‘Good question’ Tony thought, regretting everything that had happened with Gibbs….well almost everything.

Tony being a dick was regrettable but that kiss was by far not regrettable in anyway.

Tony just didn’t know what was going to happen when he saw Gibbs again.

He hoped Gibbs would want to talk about it and not just pretend it didn’t happen like the last time they were in a situation like this. Tony didn’t think he could do that again.

“You are here because you had offered to help if I needed you. Plus I know you took great care of Joe when he was in the hospital...and I needed someone to take Gibbs place so he could go home.”

Tony hoped Jensen would leave it at that.

“Fair enough….” Mark said with a charming smile.

“Cool!” Tony said, adding “I appreciate you doing this tonight Mark. If you don’t mind I am going to go upstairs and take a shower. Feel free to watch TV…there are more beers in the fridge….oh…and I use the guest bathroom so if you want to get ready for bed feel free to use the bathroom in the master bedroom.”

When Jensen heard the shower running he ventured upstairs to look around.

He grabbed his bag from the guest room and headed into the master bath.

Before he rummaged through his bag looking for the small amber vial he always carried with him, he opened the medicine cabinet and his eyes grew wide.

The cabinet was stocked like a pharmacy. He paused for a moment but still hearing running water he viewed bottle after bottle of narcotics lining the cabinet shelves.

“Jesus” he whispered seeing Tony’s name on every one.

Percocet, lortab, oxycotin, vicodin...there was even a bottle of morphine.

He pulled a pair of latex gloves out of his bag and slipped them on.

Reaching into the cabinet he removed several bottles and shook them, surprised to find they were full.

All of these narcotics were prescribed for pain or as a sleep aid.

Mark Jensen placed his vial back in this bag and went to work like a kid in a candy store.

He wanted to whoop out a cry of joy like a gold miner hitting pay dirt.

He pulled out a pill from one bottle and then two from the next. He continued this ritual until he had the perfect amount of pills for the job he had in mind.

Before he closed the mirrored cabinet he made sure everything was back in order.

He set the pills aside and pulled off his gloves. He then slipped on a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt.

He wrapped the narcotics in a tissue and made his way back down to the kitchen.

When Tony appeared 15 minutes later he was happy to accept the hot beverage Mark had made for him.

“Hot coco with mini-marshmallows…I love hot coco with mini-marshmallows!” Tony said

“I know! You also love Top Gun and can quote every line but your favorite movie is Chinatown. You do a mean impersonation of Jack Nicholson and you prefer brunettes over blondes but Spence was the exception.”

Tony’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he sipped his coco.

“Wow…you know a lot about me Mark….I can’t really say the same….”

“Not a problem Tony! You’ll really get to know me soon enough.”

Tony smiled trying not to think how creepy Mark Jensen sounded in that moment.

Tony walked towards the couch and tripped.

Mark grabbed his cup before he dropped it and helped Tony sit down.

“Thanks…guess I am actually pretty tired” Tony said as Mark handed him the mug and sat down next to him.

Tony downed the cooling beverage and placed the mug on the coffee table.

Realizing Mark had not been drinking anything Tony said “You didn’t want a coco?”

“Hate the stuff…..I actually prefer something a bit stronger.”

“Yeah…like what?”

Those were the last words Tony uttered before he slumped forward.

“Like You!” Mark said as he stood and pulled Tony up and over his shoulder.

He whistled as he carried Tony upstairs to the master bedroom.

He threw Tony down on the bed and quickly undressed him.

He stood back to admire Tony’s beautiful physique.

He turned Tony over and examined him from every angle.

Tony still had some areas on his body that were battered and bruised but Jensen could look past that.

He had his eyes on Tony since the first day Spence introduced them.

He had so many fantasies where Tony was the main attraction he had lost count.

Unfortunately, Mark Jensen had no way to perform with anyone who was awake.

He had bordered on necrophilia but had never had the nerve to go the distance.

He wished he could have a normal sex life but that had never been the case for him. He had tried everything…psychiatric therapy, drugs, electro shock therapy -to no avail.

He knew it stemmed from the abuse he suffered at his parent’s hands. He had hoped when he started the fire that killed them he would escape into normalcy but that didn’t happen.

He lived a lie but it was on his own terms. He helped as many people as he could as a police officer or as a co-worker. He had few people outside of work who cared about him. His co-workers would be shocked to know his truth but he hid very well.

Other than his parents-who in his eyes had deserved to die-he had never killed anyone intentionally.

He had taken lives on the job but that was part of the world he worked in.

He had been a very lonely man until he discovered rohypnol.

The date rape drug was the only way he could get laid.

He was careful not to leave any physical evidence and had been very successful with it.

When an opportunity presented itself he couldn’t help himself he had to take it.

Seeing Tony, lying on his stomach ripe for the taking, had been an opportunity too good to be true.

As he leaned in to squeeze Tony’s tight ass, the muffled sound of a cell phone ringing filled the room.

Jensen grabbed Tony’s discarded pants off the floor and pulled the cell out to check the caller ID-it was Gibbs.

He stuffed the phone back into the pants pocket and threw them back on the floor.

He then stood quietly watching for any movement. Tony didn’t move.

Jensen turned Tony onto his back and stroked his impressive penis.

He was happy Tony was cut and at least 7 inches.

Jensen was leaning down to take the flaccid cock into his mouth when the phone next to the bed rang.

Tony was dead to the world as Jensen picked up the phone and said “Hello?”

When Gibbs hung up on him Jensen looked back at Tony’s still body and thought about what he had just said to Tony’s boss:

“Like what, Gibbs? Like I sexually assault him when his murdered boyfriend is barely in his grave a week?”

He laughed at the irony of his cruel statement.

For the next few hours Tony was his, and no one would ever know…not even Tony.


	44. Chapter 44

“Gibbs is worried about you, Tony, but he doesn’t have to be because you are in excellent hands!”

Mark Jensen said as he walked around the bed, rubbing his palms together, speaking to Tony’s unconscious form.

Jensen leapt onto the bed and dropped down beside Tony.

The movement caused Tony’s body to flop up and down.

When his body stilled his head was facing towards Jensen.

Mark Jensen lay by Tony’s side, his head resting on the palm of his hand, leaning on his elbow to look down at Tony.

Reaching out he caressed Tony’s face.

“God…you are so beautiful” he said reverently as he leaned down to press his lips to Tony’s.

The kiss was chaste as Jensen closed his eyes breathing him in.

Breaking the kiss, Jensen ran an index finger over Tony’s lips and purred “So soft”.

He then ran his hand down the length of Tony’s body coming to rest on his soft cock.

“I was going to try and bring this to life” he laughed rubbing against Tony’s crotch, trailing his fingers through Tony’s pubic hair “But maybe not on our first date!”

Jensen rolled onto his back and brought his hand up to his nose and inhaling deeply said:

“You smell like amber and musk, Tony…fresh from your shower….on our next date I want you sweaty! Maybe after a game of basketball….that would be fun…what do you think?”

He looked over at Tony hoping for an answer.

When none came he looked up at the ceiling and continued:

“You know when you said you really didn’t know me? Well it was because Spence wouldn’t let me near you. He knew I had my eye on you…hell, he even took me aside once, after you left a game, to warn me to keep my hands off you. I played dumb ya know? Told him he must be mistaken….”

Jensen turned to look at Tony again saying:

“But you and me…..we’re tactile guys, Tony….you never complained when I touched you….I knew you weren’t interested in me…..even a blind man could see you loved Spence…the lucky bastard!”

Jensen turned back towards the ceiling and flipped the bird to the ghost of Riley Spencer.

He dropped his arm and chuckling said:

“I had to watch it after that….didn’t want to get uninvited and not have a chance to be around you.”

Jensen moved back into his leaning position and staring down at Tony said:

“I liked Spence….and I am sorry he got killed and left you. I know it broke your heart.”

As he caressed Tony‘s cheek he continued:

“I have never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you Tony. I wish I could make love to you and you be a willing participant. I can tell Gibbs wants you but that old man is no competition….you’ll see!”

Jensen laid his head on Tony’s chest and hugged Tony’s body close to his own.

“I love you Tony…I wanted so badly to fuck you tonight but I’m going to wait. I feel you calling me today is a sign from God, that we are meant to be together. I want you to know me…the real me… and when the time comes…and it will…you will be mine….forever.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs woke before dawn.

He had fallen asleep sometime in the night between worrying about Tony being alone with Jensen, knowing a homicidal scythe wielding killer was on the loose and the disgust with himself for throwing caution to the wind and kissing his SFA.

He shuffled over to the kitchen and started the coffee.

Mug in hand he headed to the bathroom.

He was showered, shaved and dressed by 6.

He poured another mug of coffee and not being able to contain his anxiety any longer he called Tony.

The cell phone rang several times and went to voice mail. Gibbs hung up.

He calmed himself, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath and then releasing it.

He then called Tony’s land line.

Gibbs was not a religious man but as the phone rang he prayed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony bolted up in bed as the house phone rang near his head.

His mind felt foggy as he reached out and grabbed for the phone.

Almost dropping the phone, twice, he was finally able to answer.

Croaking out a weak “Hello?” he was surprised to hear Gibbs say “Oh thank you God!”

“Boss?”

“Tony! You sound out of it….is everything okay?”

“Uh…” Tony rubbed at his eyes and looked around.

He was in clothes he didn’t remember changing into and he was alone in the master bedroom.

“Yeah…I guess so…I….I’m not sure what…..”

Realization hit him like a hammer as he said:

“That was some kiss Jethro.”

Gibbs was silent for a few minutes before he said:

“Tony…I’m sor….”

“NO! Do not say you are sorry Gibbs! Please! Can we talk about this! I know right now is not the time but please Jethro…please….do not pretend this didn’t happen!”

Gibbs smiled as his heart felt unburdened.

“Okay…we’ll talk.”


	45. Chapter 45

Tony was all smiles as he ended the conversation with Gibbs. Gibbs had agreed to talk…it was a start!

Gibbs had told Tony he was headed into the office and would see him at the joint task force meeting scheduled for 10 AM that morning. Tony confirmed he’d be there.

As Tony placed the house phone back on its cradle he looked around.

His jeans and shirt were in a heap on the floor. He did not remember removing them and he certainly would not have thrown them down. Picking them up, he pulled his cell phone out of the front pocket then laid the pants and shirt on the bed. He checked the phone and saw that Gibbs had called him twice.

The first call was the night before and the other early that morning before Gibbs called the land line.

Tony sat on the bed feeling weird. He looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and wondered when had he gone to bed, why he was in clothes he would never sleep in and why was his cell phone in his pants pocket on the floor?

Tony was fun loving and carefree but he was also a man of routine. The cell phone was always on the nightstand when he slept…always. Even when Tony had way too much to drink he placed that cell phone on the nightstand.

He got up off the bed and moved to the closet. He picked out a pair of black jeans and a chocolate brown button down dress shirt from the items he had left unpacked. He grabbed socks and underwear and headed towards the master bedroom door.

Before exiting the room he turned around to take it all in. It was strange seeing the bed without the ornate Ivy headboard. But the missing headboard didn’t seem to be the problem.

‘Think!’ Tony said to himself.

He remembered the fight with Gibbs and then the wonderful kiss. He remembered Mark Jensen had come over…but…his mind was blank after that.

The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and a chill ran up his spine.

Something was wrong and he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

His plan for the previous night was to sleep in the boy’s room in one of the twin beds.

He would have never, ever slept in the master bedroom, not without Gibbs.

He shook his head not knowing how to explain any of it.

He decided to just shrug it off figuring he must have simply been exhausted.

He opened the bedroom door and headed down the hall to the guest bathroom.

In passing he noticed the guest bedroom was empty and the bed was made.

He could smell coffee brewing downstairs and was happy Mark was making himself at home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark Jensen had positioned himself on the piano bench so he could watch Tony come down the stairs.

He sat patiently, sipping his coffee.

He had heard the shower running and took it as a good sign that Tony had no memory of their night together. He would hate to have a repeat of the last time he had drugged a date. He had screwed up the dose and his date woke up with Mark’s dick in his ass.

Jensen shuddered reliving his worst nightmare.

His date coming to consciousness during sex was never part of the plan.

It was unfortunate he had to snuff the guy.

Mark Jensen was hoping he had succeeded with the perfect drug concoction for Tony…he would hate to have blown it and have Tony realize he had been drugged.

He loved Tony and didn’t want to hurt him, much less kill him.

When Tony casually walked down the stairs, towel drying his hair, Mark’s anxiety dissipated.

Jensen knew it was the first few seconds where you could tell. It was always in the eyes.

When Tony smiled at him and said “Good morning!” Mark Jensen felt the tension leave his body.

Tony’s expressive green eyes were bright and clear and he looked well rested.

“Morning, Tony” Jensen replied trying to hide any trace of relief from being evident on his face.

As Tony walked to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, Mark Jensen sat back and smiled thinking:

‘I’m golden……he doesn’t suspect a thing.’

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs entered the bullpen carrying his third cup of coffee of the day.

Sitting down, he did a double take when he noticed McGee, head down on folded arms, fast asleep at his desk.

Gibbs noted Kate had yet to make an appearance as he moved over towards McGee.

McGee was not wearing the same clothes he had on the day before so Gibbs could tell he had gone home. He must have come back sometime in the night.

“McGee?” Gibbs said quietly…no response “Tim?”

Still nothing.

Smiling, Gibbs barked:

“MCGEE!”

Tim McGee’s head shot up off his desk like a rocket taking flight.

“Yes Boss!?”

Gibbs chuckled as he took in the rumpled appearance of his youngest agent.

“When did you come in Tim?”

McGee rubbed at his eyes and wiped a hand over his mouth, embarrassed when he found he had drooled on himself and his desk.

He wiped his hands on his pants as he said:

“About an hour after you called boss.”

Gibbs raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Tony had schooled Tim in what he called “Gibbanese”, the unspoken language of Leroy Jethro Gibbs, so Tim knew the upraised eyebrow asked “Why did you come in early?”

“I heard the urgency in your voice boss…..figured I’d get started ASAP.”

Tim watched as both of Gibbs eyebrows shot up. He interpreted that as well.

Handing over the file he had compiled, and thankfully not drooled on, he said:

“Mark Jensen’s juvenile records which include psych records and a detailed account of his upbringing.”

“You read any of this McGee?” Gibbs asked accepting the file.

“Snippets….but not enough to get a clear picture of the guy…figured this is about Tony, so unless you want to fill us in, it’s need to know.”

Gibbs smiled a warm, happy smile that reached his eyes.

Never seeing a smile like that on Gibbs face before McGee’s brain did not compute.

“Great job McGee, thank you!”

The flood of pride that flowed throughout McGee’s body warmed him.

He had pleased Gibbs and been rewarded.

“You hear from Kate?” Gibbs asked.

“Yes…she’s with a profiler from the FBI. Balboa and the investigators from Metro are getting everything set up for the meeting.”

“Good” Gibbs said as he looked at the time.

Catching McGee in mid yawn Gibbs said:

“We have three hours until the meeting Tim…why don’t you go down to Abby’s lab and get a couple of hours sleep?”

McGee didn’t need to be told twice.

“Thanks boss!” he said as he stood up and swayed.

As McGee shuffled towards the elevator, Gibbs settled down at his desk, took a sip of coffee and opened the file.

He flipped through several pages searching for any information that might stand out, giving him a clear picture into the mind of Mark Jensen. The adult Jensen was a decorated Police Officer who had proven himself through his good deeds above and beyond the call of duty. His record was impressive but something was gnawing at Gibbs gut telling him there was something wrong just below the surface of the man…and it would have started with the boy.

McGee’s copies were legible, but the stamped “Confidential-Juvenile Records-Permanent Seal per Order of the Courts-State of Nebraska/State of Iowa” on every page, was faint.

That stamp was a constant reminder to Gibbs that any information he found could never be used against Jensen. It was also a reminder that Gibbs was looking at criminal charges for himself if he was ever caught with the documents in hand.

‘It’d be worth it to keep Tony safe’

Gibbs was stunned at the amount of classified information McGee was able to obtain in just a few hours. Gibbs had no clue how McGee did it but was thankful the kid was on his team. Gibbs would not be surprised if McGee had “Director” in front of his name someday.

It was close to 9:45AM when Gibbs closed the folder, sat back in his chair and reflected on all he had read.

He felt sick to his stomach and kind of hollow. He felt sorrow for what the boy had endured. Gibbs could grieve for the child but had to question what kind of man that boy had become.

On the surface Officer Mark Jensen was a hero but……

Gibbs thoughts were interrupted when he heard the ding of the elevator door and then the sound of Tony’s laughter.

It had been a while since Gibbs heard Tony laugh so when he looked up he was smiling.

The smile quickly left his face as Tony exited the elevator walking close to Mark Jensen.

Jensen had his hand on Tony’s shoulder, as they both walked slightly hunched over.

It was obvious to Gibbs the two men had shared something funny before the elevator door opened.

Gibbs noticed Tony was carrying a tray with four coffees as he stood and carried Jensen’s file towards the office shredder to his right.

Placing the documents in the feeder, Gibbs caught only a few words exchanged between Tony and Jensen as the sound of paper being ripped apart filled the room.

When the last page of Mark Jensen’s file was turned to confetti Gibbs heard Tony say:

“I wish I could have seen Spence deal with that….oh…what a great story…thanks Mark!”

Mark laughed saying:

“Anytime Tony….Spence was an awesome guy and is truly missed!”

Gibbs heard Tony’s laughter die away as he cleared his throat saying “Yeah…he is missed…”

The sadness in Tony’s response had broken the humor of the moment.

As Gibbs turned around he saw Jensen step back as Tony stepped towards Gibbs and placing one of the coffees on Gibbs desk said:

“Morning boss…”

Gibbs and Tony exchanged a knowing look…Tony’s smile shy before he walked to his desk and set down the coffee carrier.

“Morning, Tony, thank you for the coffee” Gibbs said as he watched Tony walk over to his desk.

“Where’s Kate and my probie?” Tony asked nonchalantly as he busied himself.

Mark Jensen stepped close to Tony’s desk and hovered as Gibbs said:

“McGee’s down with Abby and Kate’s with Metro…….Good morning, Jensen.”

Mark Jensen nodded at Gibbs as he took a drink of his coffee.

Gibbs felt the temperature in the room drop just from the look Mark Jensen caste his way.

Gibbs decided he would have none of the pissing contest he knew could erupt if he chose the wrong move. It was obvious to Gibbs that Mark Jensen was interested in Tony more than a friend. Jensen’s body language screamed ‘touch what’s mine and I’ll kill you’.

Gibbs understood that mindset. He could respect it as well. Jensen just had no idea who he was dealing with when it came to fucking with what Gibbs deemed to be his own.

But this wasn’t the time or place.

Gibbs looked at his watch and said “Meetings in 5…see you two in conference room B.”

Gibbs missed Tony’s look of anxiety and Jensen’s smug smirk as he made his way to the meeting. He made a mental note to talk to Ducky when the meeting was over. He needed an old friend and an expert profiler to help him decide how to proceed.

What he read about Jensen’s young life was more than disturbing.


	46. Chapter 46

Spencer Estate-Sunday Night

Linda Marshall Spencer stood in front of her dressing room mirror admiring the view.

She had found the perfect black dress and captured the quintessential essence of the grieving widow.

She turned to the left and then to the right purring:

“Jackie O…. meet Holly Golightly!”

“You look beautiful, Linda…” William Spencer said lustfully as he approached his ex-sister in law from behind, draping his arms around her tiny frame.

She turned around and batted him away.

“DON’T!” she hissed, clearly annoyed.

Seeing his hurt expression she softened her stance saying “I’m sorry William...you startled me…kisses?”

His smile was huge as he leaned in and eagerly kissed her right cheek then her left, ending the bizarre ritual with a quick peck on her lips.

Linda smiled, a beguiling smile, at a man she truly loathed. In her eyes he was unattractive, desperate and weak. He was no Riley Spencer…..but he had the means to keep her in a lifestyle she was determined to maintain…for now.

‘When I have Spence’s money and property in my hot little hand….you, Billy boy, can just go and fuck yourself!’

Linda couldn’t help herself she laughed as she reached out and caressed William Spencer’s cheek.

She schooled her face, conveying a look of love, but when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch the smile faded and turned to a look of disgust.

Disgust turned into smug satisfaction knowing she held a lonely, emotionally crippled man literally in the palm of her hand.

Their intimate moment ended when they heard Jake and Sam yell that they were home.

“Oh…the boys are back from the airport already! They made excellent time!” Linda said as she turned away from William leaving him wanting.

He stumbled forward with the release of her hand as she walked towards her vanity.

“You know” she said watching him in the mirror “You should go spend some time with your brother.”

“Linda” William whined “You know I have nothing in common with Jimmy!”

“He’s only here for the service, William, and then I doubt you’ll see him for quite a while….here…give this to him.” She said as she removed an envelope from her purse and handed it to him.

“James Spencer” was boldly written on the parchment envelope.

“What is this?” William asked turning the envelope over and then back again.

“It’s James’ invitation to the service….he will need it to get in…I gave the rest to Metro to distribute to Spence’s friends on the force…this is an intimate affair for friends and family…”

“Well…where is my invite?” William asked.

Linda wanted to scream in his stupid ugly face.

Instead she hooked her arm with his and whispered in his ear:

“You are my escort darling…you do not need an invitation…your presence is a given.”

She stuck out the tip of her tongue and ran it down the shell of his ear stopping to nip at the lobe.

He shuddered before saying:

“Right….I know that…duh….I’ll take this to Jimmy…see you in a bit my love.”

She blew him a kiss in the mirror, and when he was out the door, she spit out the taste of him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

James Spencer sat in the family’s great room and watched his nephew, Sam. The kid had been very quiet on the ride from the airport and seemed distant. James would never tell a soul that he favored Sam over Jake. Jake was conniving and an ass, like his mother. Sam was most like Riley and the sad part for James was he knew Sam would never get to know that. Not in person at least. With Riley’s death that ship had sailed. Sam would now have to learn about his father from the stories told by others.

James cursed himself for not coming to Riley’s defense when it came to his brother’s kids. He did nothing to try and help get the boys out of the clutches of their emotionally destructive mother.

James looked around wondering where Linda was at the moment and where were his other brothers William and John Jr.? He sighed, resigned to spend a few days at the childhood home he hated with siblings he didn’t really know (and didn’t much like) and a witch of an ex sister-in-law he wished he could douse with water and watch melt away and disappear.

He chuckled to himself imagining Linda as the Wicked Witch of the West.

‘I insult the witch with that comparison’ he mused as walked to the fridge.

James helped himself to a beer and sat at the kitchen table watching his nephews. As always Jake bullied Sam, dominating the television as they argued over what to watch. When Jake settled on a reality show Sam had no interest in, he got up from the couch and joined James at the table.

“What’s going on with you Sam?” James asked quietly.

Sam shrugged saying “It doesn’t matter…nothing’s gonna change…”

James reached out and gave Sam’s arm a squeeze and said “I’m here for you if and when you want to talk kid….I’ll help you with anything I can.”

Sam looked at James and smiled. James was stunned to see tears in Sam’s eyes. James had always known Sam was a sensitive kid but had never seen him cry. Maybe Riley’s death had affected him in ways James didn’t see. James had been pretty pissed with Linda’s handling of Riley’s burial. The raging scream fest he and Linda had had before he headed back to New York had been epic. He had almost not come home for the service. It was Sam’s pleas on the phone for him to come that finally got him motivated to get on a plane.

It was James opinion that Sam needed to get away from his brother and his mother and have a life of his own. It didn’t help that both boys attended the same college and shared an apartment. Sam followed his brother like a shadow. They had the same friends, attended the same classes and both were majoring in business.

James blamed William Spencer for that…he had pressured the kids to live up to the Spencer name as dictated by their Grandfather. James cringed remembering William telling them “Your father was a selfish man…he was the eldest son and had a duty to the family to carry on the family business. I took his place when he ran off to play soldier…you two are our next generation….live up to the Spencer name!”

James knew Sam was a talented artist…had been from early childhood but his mother had shit all over that so Sam stopped. James wondered what Sam would do if given the chance to move to New York and pursue his talent. He wondered if the kid would have the guts to defy his family.

He was about to suggest the possibility of a bold move to Sam when William walked in and said:

“Jimmy….good to see you” he lied “here…”

James took the envelope his older brother handed him and looked at it curiously.

“What is this?” he asked

“Your invitation.”

“Invitation? To what?”

“The service on Tuesday…you’ll need it to get in.”

“What?!” he said ripping the envelope open and pulling out the card.

He read it quickly and then looked up at William in shock.

Holding up the card he said:

“This says “James Spencer plus one”…what the fuck William?! This is our brother’s memorial service not a fucking wedding! Whose idea was this?!”

“MINE!” Linda said from the door way.

She crossed her arms and stared at James, non-verbally calling him out.

James sat back and bit his tongue.

He wanted to unleash his fury on her but felt unable to say what he truly wanted.

He had seen Sam’s body go rigid and then begin to tremble.

Linda and William seemed oblivious to Sam’s reaction and to James that said it all.

James accepted his role.

He would shut up and play the dutiful son, brother and uncle.

He breathed out a heavy sigh-the next few days were going to be hell.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer Estate-Monday Morning

James was up before dawn.

He hadn’t slept well, his anger at Linda and his concern for Sam consuming his thoughts.

It had also been disturbing having to listen to William and Linda rutting in the room next to his.

He had been tempted to bang on the wall and scream at the top of his lungs to quit fucking like two feral cats in heat. Instead, he pulled a pillow over his head, rolled over and finally slept.

Dressed in swim trucks and carrying a towel, he yawned as he made his way down the grand staircase and entered the great room.

He started a pot of coffee and walked over to the bay window.

Looking out he watched the steam rise from the heated pool.

He squinted wondering why the steam swirled and swayed until he realized someone was doing laps.

He exited the backdoor and moved quickly to the edge of the pool, the cold morning biting at his exposed skin.

Happy to see the swimmer was Sam, James threw his towel on a chaise lounge and dove in.

Sam was startled by the motion but recovered quickly.

He tread water in the deep end as his Uncle surfaced with a smile.

“Morning Sam!”

“Morning Uncle Jimmy.”

“I didn’t take you for an early riser. When I was your age I was usually just getting home to go to bed.”

Sam laughed nervously then confessed:

“I like this time of day. It’s quiet and I like the peace and the time alone.”

“Jake know about that?”

“Nope…neither does Mom….I like to think of it as all mine, ya know? I usually go back to bed before Jake wakes up.”

James saw the opportunity and took it.

“Sam….I want you to think about coming to live with me in New York. My apartment is small but I’m within walking distance to NYU. You could transfer and pursue whatever you want….I’ll help you anyway I can if you want to.”

Sam looked shocked his mouth agape.

“Uh….why?”

James shrugged wondering if he should have even said anything.

“I guess I see you conforming too much to what other people expect of you. You know your Dad would be pissed if he knew you lived according to what your mother wanted or what your Uncle William expected. He’d want you and Jake to pursue your own dreams….like he did.”

“And like you?” Sam asked

“Well yeah….sorry Sam…I don’t mean to manipulate you to my way of thinking. I only want you to realize you do have a choice and in this family it is hard to break away without feeling the pressure and guilt of your actions. Your dad inspired me to find my own way in life. Our father, your Grandfather, gave your dad hell for venturing out on his own. They had a huge fight….lots of ugly, hurtful things were said. I was very young then but I will never forget that night. Your Dad was my hero. He stood up to our old man and saying that he had only one life and he was going to live it the way he wanted stuck with me.”

Sam nodded and James was happy to see the kid was mulling over the offer.

“Thanks Uncle Jimmy…let me think about it ok?”

“Of course…you know I am a phone call away day or night….and the offer will always stand.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After their swim, James and Sam changed and met down in the kitchen for a quick breakfast and coffee.

The sun was just making an appearance when Sam said:

“Would you tell me more about my dad?”

“Sure…tell you what. Why don’t you get a jacket and we’ll pick some flowers from your Mom’s garden and walk over to the mausoleum….and don’t be afraid to ask me anything you want Sam. One thing about your dad…he was a very honest man…he was never nervous about the truth, in fact he preferred it, even if it might be hurtful.”

A bouquet of roses in hand, Sam and James walked up the dirt road towards the family cemetery.

The sun was at the horizon and the sound of birds singing filled the morning air.

When they reached the mausoleum Sam stopped and said:

“Did it bother you that my dad was gay?”

James shook his head and said “No…your dad told me he was gay a long time ago. I don’t care…I loved my brother and I don’t judge a person for their sexual persuasion as long as it’s consensual and of legal age. Our old man hit the roof when he found out…disowned your dad…but that’s another story. You know he did love your Mom very much and they were happy for a long time.”

Sam shrugged hanging his head as he said:

“Mom makes it sound like Dad ditched us all for Tony…”

“Sam…that is not true…how could it be? Your mom and dad were divorced for years before he met Tony! I don’t really know Tony but I do know your dad was madly in love with him.”

Sam wiped at his eyes and James felt guilty that he had disclosed too much.

He moved to hug Sam and was happy his nephew welcomed the embrace.

“Your dad loved you and your brother so much Sam…I know it was his biggest regret not to be present in your lives. He always hoped as you and Jake got older he’d be able to build a relationship with you both. I’m so sorry you’ll never have that chance…but know my door is always open for you…Jake too if he needs me. I’m a poor replacement but anytime you need a “dad” I’ll play that role for you…or if you just need a friend…you can count me in….I love ya kid!”

Sam clung to James and sobbed.

“Hey! It’s okay Sam….it’s going to be alright….I’m sorry if I….”

“I’m gay Uncle Jimmy….I don’t know what to do….Jake and Mom will hate me…”

James was stunned momentarily but then pushed Sam back to look him in the face.

“Sam…..your mom and brother will never hate you. They may not understand and they may be angry but hate you…never.”

James pulled Sam into a tight embrace and let him cry.

He kissed Sam on the top of the head and said:

“Thank you for sharing this with me…it’s all going to be okay Sam.”

James then looked towards the heavens and prayed the assurances he gave Sam about his mother and brother did not prove to be false.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

NCIS Building-Later that same morning

Gibbs entered conference room B and turned to his immediate left to find a place in the very back.

“Conference room” was somewhat deceiving as the room was more of a small classroom amphitheater with six rows of seats divided in three sections. Most of the lighting was concentrated in the front of the room so Gibbs took advantage of the semi darkness.

He leaned against the wall, sipped his coffee and took in the scene.

The area in the front housed a podium to the far left and along the back wall was a large screen.

Currently the screen displayed crime scene photos of the four murders they would be investigating placed side by side.

Seeing them all together left no doubt they had been committed by the same person or persons.

Gibbs watched as Metro officers and investigators, along with Balboa’s team, made their way down the aisles to find a seat. Gibbs was surprised to see two federal agents from Homeland Security in the mix.

The bold letters that read ICE on the back of their jackets made them hard to miss.

Kate was near the podium speaking with someone from the FBI and McGee was seated to the left of the podium handling the laptop which Gibbs assumed controlled what they would be viewing on screen.  
Balboa entered with Director Morrow and Metro’s Police Chief.

The three men walked to the front row and took a seat.

Gibbs looked at his watch…it was 9:58.

It was then Tony and Mark Jensen entered the room and stopped at the top row of seats.

Gibbs watched Tony shift the coffee carrier he had in both hands over to just his left. He held out his right hand to Jensen saying:

“Hey Mark…thanks again for coming over last night.”

Jensen took Tony’s hand and shook it vigorously stating:

“Anytime Tony…I’ll see you tomorrow then….good luck with the move!”

“Thanks…see ya.”

Jensen headed to the right greeting his fellow Metro co-workers as Tony headed down the aisle to the left. Gibbs watched as Kate’s eyes lit up and she gave Tony a huge hug. They chatted briefly and then he handed her a coffee. He turned to McGee, who had stood up when Tony arrived, and handed Tim a coffee. Gibbs couldn’t see McGee’s face but Tony looked down slightly embarrassed then stepped over and hugged Tim.

Gibbs smiled.

It warmed him to know he had a team that was truly a family.

Tony stepped away as Kate and McGee got back to their jobs.

Gibbs watched Tony remove the last coffee from the carrier then toss the drink holder in the trash.

Tony scanned the audience obviously looking for someone.

Gibbs hoped Tony was looking for him.

He stepped out of the dark and into the light and acting nonchalant, he waited.

“Boss!” Tony said as he hurried up the aisle.

“DiNozzo” Gibbs greeted his smiling SFA.

Tony’s smile waivered and Gibbs could have kicked himself for sounding aloof.

Tony suddenly felt very nervous. Gibbs was projecting his cool, distant bastard persona and Tony was afraid Gibbs had changed his mind overnight. Tony felt his heart begin to race and he broke out in a sweat even though the room was ice cold. He thought about what to say but found he couldn’t speak.

Tony was saved as Kate stepped up to the podium and spoke into the open mike.

“Good Morning…I’m Special Agent Caitlin Todd with NCIS. Thank you all for coming this morning…”

Gibbs pointed towards the last row of seats so Tony moved quickly to sit down.

He was pleased Gibbs sat down next to him. Tony caught a whiff of coffee mixed with a hint of wood shavings and Old Spice. He closed his eyes and simply breathed in the scent of the man next to him.

Tony tried to relax, to focus on the meeting but wanted nothing more than to reach over and take Gibbs’ hand in his own. He needed to corral his desires for sensual pleasure and concentrate. Tony thought about Spence and knew he would want Tony to be happy and loved. Tony also knew Spence would more than approve if that person was Gibbs.

Gibbs suddenly turned towards him which caused Tony to jump.

“Are you ok, Tony? Are you up for this?” Gibbs asked with concern.

Tony felt his face flush as he tried to control his breathing.

He knew Gibbs meant “are you up for the meeting” but Tony’s mind went immediately to that “kiss” and what it could mean for his future.

‘Their future’

Tony hoped he had a future with Gibbs. That kiss had given Tony hope. He figured he would never find another love like Spence but if Gibbs could be his…wanted to be his....

‘Wow’

Tony tried not to think about it.

Gibbs said they would talk and he would cling to that for now.

“I’m good boss” he lied, as Gibbs sat back, seeming satisfied.

The two of them turned all of their attention back to Kate who introduced all the principal players in the investigation. For the next three hours each crime scene was discussed in detail covering all the relevant facts for each scene and how each tied to the other.

Various law enforcement officers and investigators took their turn at the mike to cover their unique part in the investigation. Victims were named and associated with as much information that had been found through interviews, informants and forensics.

The overall picture concluded that the victims had all been involved with the Mexican drug cartel known as Calavera, English translation Skull. Los Muertos MC‘s position in the big picture was to act as Calavera’s enforcers, current leadership under the reign of Hector “The Reaper” Zegarra.

At the introduction of the primary suspect Kate called for a twenty minute break.

The audience members stood and stretched, discussing the case among themselves or making their way over to the refreshment table. Gibbs had kept an eye on Jensen the entire time. He was happy Jensen had stayed with his co-workers.

He was currently standing near the table that held bottled water, coffee & tea, and donuts.

Gibbs turned to Tony and said “I’m going for coffee.”

Tony laughed and said “No surprise there….why you do that, I’m going down to see Abby.”

Gibbs lifted a brow and Tony said:

“I have some groveling to do and I have this!”

He pulled out the copy of his apartment key shaped like a skull he had had made especially for her.

“See ya in fifteen, boss, unless Abs kills me for being an ass the other night and hides all the evidence!”

Gibbs grinned as Tony headed out to Abby’s lab and he made a beeline towards Mark Jensen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Approaching Jensen from behind, Gibbs overheard him say to a co-worker.

“I’m working tonight at the safe house then bringing Joe and his wife to Spence’s service tomorrow”

‘Good, at least you are nowhere near Tony tonight’ Gibbs thought as he reached for a cup.

Cup filled, Gibbs positioned himself in such a way that when Jensen turned they were face to face.

Gibbs smirked at Jensen, holding his gaze.

Jensen looked surprised at first but soon recovered.

“Gibbs” He said tightlipped as his co-workers returned to their seats.

“Hello Mark. I think we got off on the wrong foot….no hard feelings…what do you say? Besides any friend of Tony’s is a friend of mine.” Gibbs said sincerely as he held out his hand.

Mark Jensen was taken aback as he looked from Gibbs face to the offered hand. Gibbs waited patiently…the quote “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer” running through his mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Abby’s lab was surprisingly quiet as Tony approached and peaked inside.

“Hey Abby…..you still love me?” he asked softly.

“Tony!” She screamed turning towards the door.

Big smile on her face, she ran to meet him as Tony stepped into the lab with a dazzling smile mirroring hers.

The friends hugged as Abby said “I will always love you Tony..always!”

“Even when I was being an insane jerk?!”

“Yep…even then!”

He hugged her tightly and said “Thank you Abby…I am truly sorry….I will try to never do that again.”

Abby pulled back and looked at him with misty eyes.

“It’s ok Tony…with all that has happened this past week you are entitled to some insanity.”

He smiled as he pulled the skull key from his pocket and said:

“Then please accept this as a token of my affection….your very own apartment key to my place…designed specifically to your refined tastes.”

She squealed as he placed the key in the palm of her hand.

Admiring the black key with white skull and pink bow she said “Awesome!”

Tony beamed taking great pleasure in making her happy.

“Would you do me the honor of joining me later this evening at my new apartment for a delicious dining experience of any take-out you wish me to order?”

“I would be most honored sir!”

“Excellent my lady…say 8pm?”

“I’ll be there! Anything you need me to bring?”

“Just youself, Abs!” he said leaning in to kiss the tip of her nose.

“I have to get back….second part of the meeting is going to start in about 5 minutes.”

“Okay…see you tonight!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jensen wondered what Gibbs angle was. He didn’t believe a thing the man had to say. Gibbs had been a bastard to him since that day at the hospital when he gave Gibbs his business card for Tony.

A card Tony had never seen.

Jensen knew he was staring into the eyes of a rival for Tony’s affection. He knew Gibbs was no match for him. Tony was destined to be with him and Gibbs would have to accept that sooner or later.

With that thought in mind Jensen smiled and took Gibbs hand.

He shook it and said “Water under the bridge, Agent Gibbs. We both share a desire to make sure Tony is safe and happy.”

Gibbs simply nodded, withdrew his hand and walked back to his seat, his gut screaming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twenty minutes later, everyone had settled back from the break as McGee brought up several photos of suspects starting with members of Los Muertos MC. A member of Metro’s gang unit gave a brief overview of the gang’s history and hierarchy of past and current leadership.

The deaths of CI Ricky Hernandez and Rueben Santiago were added to the growing investigation, suspicion of their deaths being caste towards Zegarra.

When they finally got to Hector Zegarra, Gibbs noticed Tony lean forward as he studied the photos

There were three pictures. The first was a black and white mug shot of a very young Zegarra. His hair was short, his face clear from the large scar he now carried and he looked scared. The second was in color and looked like a still from a movie. Zegarra stood in black leather pants and black vest wielding a scythe with a caption in Spanish that translated into English said:

“Behold and fear death incarnate-The Reaper is here for your immortal soul.”

Gibbs heard Tony snort and stifle a laugh.

The third photo was a color mug shot and the most recent.

Zegarra was no longer a scared boy but a fierce looking hoodlum with a big attitude.

Long black hair, the facial scar, the twisted smirk displayed the gold capped canine-but it was the eyes that were most disturbing. Zegarra’s dark piercing eyes held both defiance and indifference.  
Gibbs saw Tony shudder and he wondered what he was thinking.

‘Probably reliving the nightmare of being at the mercy of The Reaper’ Gibbs thought.

Kate stepped up to the podium and said:

“I will give a quick overview of Hector Zegarra’s life. FBI Agent Seth Barlow will then give us a psychological profile of Zegarra. There will be time for questions and a discussion period then Agent Sheffield from Homeland Security’s division of Immigration Customs Enforcement will render that agencies most current information on the where about of the suspect.”

Kate nodded to McGee and he began a slide show to coincide with her story.

“Hector Zegarra is the oldest son of Juan and Cocheta Zegarra. He is one of 4 children. Hector’s father is full blooded Hispanic born in Tecate, Mexico and his mother is a full blooded Native American from the Apache tribe in central Arizona. Both parents are deceased.

Hector is an America, born in Arizona in 1955. His family moved frequently, taking up residence on various reservations in Texas, New Mexico and Arizona after his father, Juan, left the family and returned to Mexico.

In the mid 1970’s Hector moved to Mexico to be with his Father. His father is one of the founding members of the Calavera drug cartel. Hector was indoctrinated at an early age and sent back to the US to help establish drug distribution from the Arizona border all the way to upstate New York and into Canada. He was caught with a kilo of cocaine in 1982 and spent 18 months in prison. Upon his release he returned to Mexico where of all things he took up acting.”

Gibbs watched Tony’s eyes get wide then he leaned over to Gibbs and said “I guess that explains that cheesy movie still of “The Reaper”.”

As if Kate was reading Tony’s mind the movie photo appeared on screen and she said:

“This photo is from his first movie called “El Segador y El Día de los Muertos” which in English is “The Reaper and the Day of the Dead”. In it he plays a drug dealer whose wife and young children are slaughtered by a rival cartel and he is left for dead. Zegarra’s character seeks vengeance under the guise of an almost superhuman character he calls the Reaper. He stalks and terrorizes his victims and dispatches them with a scythe. It is during the shooting of this film Zegarra almost loses an eye when a fellow actor sliced into his face with a rapier during a fight scene. The scar helped build Zegarra’s reputation and he went on to do a series of Reaper films until he moved back to the US to lead Los Muertos MC. He has been in Washington DC for close to 6 years.”

“Zegarra is not married and has no children. There was only one of his siblings still alive until Jaime Zegarra, along with his Cousin Julio Zegarra, robbed the liquor store last week which left Officer Spencer and Julio Zegarra dead. The attack on Officer Alvarez and the subsequent escape attempt at Bethesda led to the death of Jaime Zegarra….and ultimately Zegarra sought revenge against the loved one of Officer Spencer.”

Tony appreciated Kate had not named him specifically.

The photo changed to the most current mug shot.

“This is the most recent photo of Zegarra taken a little over a year ago when he was first suspected in the murders. There was not enough evidence to hold him and he was released. “

“Agent Barlow will now give us a psychological profile of Hector Zegarra” Kate concluded and stepped away from the podium.

“Thank you Agent Todd” Barlow said as he stepped up and adjusted the microphone.

“Hector Zegarra is what we at the BAU call a malignant narcissist. Narcissism becomes particularly “malignant” when it goes beyond mere vanity and excessive self-focus. After viewing Zegarra’s films, researching his background and talking to those who know him and were willing to talk about him it was easy to see that his personality has morphed with the Reaper character he played in the movies.

Although in reality he did not lose a wife or children at the hands of a rival cartel he has elevated his self-worth to that of avenger to injustices he feels warrant revenge.

Malignant narcissists not only see themselves as superior to others but believe in their superiority to the degree that they view others as relatively worthless, expendable, and justifiably exploitable. This type of narcissism is a defining characteristic of psychopathy/sociopathy and is rooted in an individual’s deficient capacity for empathy. It’s almost impossible for a person with such shallow feelings and such haughtiness to really care about others or to form a conscience with any of the qualities we typically associate with a humane attitude.

Although he sought revenge for his brother it was not because his brother’s life ended but that Zegarra was deprived of what he deemed to be his.”

“We at the BAU have concluded that Zegarra sees himself as the loyal avenger to HIS cartel, HIS family, HIS gang. He kills without remorse, instead feeling he does so with absolute purpose. His uncompromising sense of entitlement and grandiose fantasies make him extremely volatile and dangerous.

Like the character he plays in his movies, he toys with his victims…sexually assaults both men and women if he deems they should be punished in such a way. The vivisection of his victim’s with the scythe and the internal organs and blood that are tossed around the location are done to create absolute fear. He does so to send a message to not screw with Calavera or if you do you will be “reaped”.

He always “reaps” two of his victims and then the rest are executed with a bullet to the head. This M.O. is right out of a scene from his last movie “Santé Muerte-The Mexican Cult of Death” in which the Reaper leaves his warning in the exact same way as our crime scenes.”

Murmurs filled the room as Barlow stepped away from the mike and Agent Sheffield from ICE took over.

“Thank you Agent Barlow…Homeland Security was brought in over the last few days due to reports that Hector Zegarra has been spotted over the border in the city of Tecate, Mexico. At this time we are seeking help from the Mexican government to find and extradite him. We will continue to work hand in hand with DC Metro, the FBI and NCIS…thank you.”

Kate was back at the mike saying “Thank you Agent Sheffield…before we open the floor to questions Police Chief Pollard has a few things he would like to cover…”

The Chief took his time getting to the podium so Gibbs took the time to ask:

“What are you doing after the meeting Tony?”

“I’ve got the piano mover coming over at 3 and the regular movers will be there at 3:30. Not much to move since you helped me boss….should all be done by 7. Abby’s coming over to the apartment for dinner around 8pm….It will be my first night alone…going to finish my speech for Spence…figured I’d meet you at the service tomorrow?”

Gibbs only had time to say “Okay” before Pollard was at the mike.

He tapped the microphone before he said:

“As you all know…the Spencer family has asked that Metro honor Officer Riley Spencer with a private service tomorrow and we are happy to accommodate them. There was reasonable concern that Hector Zegarra may make a move but since Agent Sheffield has disclosed Zegarra has been seen in Mexico we can hopefully breathe a little easier. Of course the service will be well attended by fellow officers so if Zegarra was around he would be a fool to make an appearance.”

There was a spatter of laughs around the room as the Chief smiled at his attempt at humor.

He cleared his throat and continued:

“To make sure we can control attendance, as this service is not open to the public, Officer Spencer’s window, Linda Spencer….”

Gibbs heard Tony gasp then caught Mark Jensen look over at Tony with concern.

“….has requested entrance by invitation only. Those invites will list the person allowed to attend. Mrs. Spencer has addressed the invitations with a “plus one”. The guest of the invitee must present ID before they will be admitted. All the invitations have been distributed except for this one” he said removing an envelope from his breast pocket and holding it in the air.

“Is Agent Gibbs here today?” the Chief asked.

Gibbs could feel Tony begin to shake as he raised his hand and said “Here.”

“Ah..very good…Officer Remy…please take this to Agent Gibbs…” Chief Pollard said as he handed the envelope to the officer closest to him who proceeded to make his way back to Gibbs.

“Are there any questions?” Pollard asked looking around the room.

As the question and answer period began Tony began to stand.

Gibbs grabbed Tony’s bicep and forced him to sit back down as he said calmly:

“Wait….you are my plus one…take a deep breath……relax.”

Tony sat back in a huff and Gibbs could feel the anger rolling off the younger man in waves.

It seemed like time slowed down as Gibbs opened the envelope and read the card as Tony glanced over his shoulder.

The invitation stated:

“Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Only”.

SHIT!

“Tony…I..”

“Don’t Jethro….don’t say anything.” Tony said his voice low, calm but angry.

Gibbs glanced at Tony and saw only determination in his eyes as he said:

“I told you she would do this…I knew it! It comes as no surprise that she would find another way to shut me out….to hurt me…to try and trivialize what I had with Spence. She destroyed Spence’s grandmother’s vase when I told her I wanted to keep it-Did you know that? I have done my best to be civil but I am fucking DONE! I am going to be there tomorrow and I am going to tell the whole fucking world what Riley Spencer meant to me and I’ll be damned if that bitch is going to stop me!”


	47. Chapter 47

Gibbs entered autopsy hoping his favorite ME had time for him.

Surprisingly, there were no bodies in sight as Ducky sat at his computer enjoying a cup of tea.

“Jethro! What a pleasant surprise…I thought the meeting would consume all your time today!”

“Hey Duck…no…the meeting was over about 30 minutes ago. Since Balboa is lead on this I’m sitting on the sidelines for now.”

“Where are Caitlin and Timothy?” Ducky asked

“Still on loan to Balboa….I asked the Director for additional time off.”

“And Anthony?”

“He left about 30 minutes ago to head home and meet his movers. He’ll be in his new apartment starting tonight.”

“Is everything alright?” Ducky asked seeing a faraway look in his friend’s eyes.

“Not really Duck…do you have some time…can I take you to a late lunch? I have some information I need to bounce off you.”

Ducky smiled happily “That would be wonderful. Let me get my coat.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs drove the two of them into Georgetown to a Pub called “The Fox & Goose”.

Comfortably seated in a private corner, they placed their orders, as Ducky looked around.

“My, this pub looks just like one in Edinburgh called the “Bucket of Blood”....very authentic…how did you know about this place, Jethro?”

“Tony noticed it the other day when we were shopping across the street at Brooks Brothers. He mentioned it was a new place and we should take you here sometime….said you might have a “hankering for some haggis”.”

Ducky smiled as he laughed saying:

“I will have to let him know I opted for the bangers & mash instead! So you and Anthony went shopping for clothes….together…hmmm…that is very out of character for you, Jethro….you hate to shop for clothes.”

Gibbs glared and frowned as his friend cast a mischievous and knowing look his way.

“What are you trying to say Ducky?!”

Ducky leaned forward and said “You have it bad.”

Gibbs stared at his friend fighting his anger. This was not the subject he wished to discuss with Ducky today. Other concerns were brewing. He knew Ducky could not be intimidated in any way. They had been friends too long for that.

Rolling his eyes in defeat he said:

“Alright…fine! I love him…okay?! Are you satisfied Dr. Mallard?”

Ducky sat back, a smug and amused look on his face as he said:

“Yes….it is very satisfying to finally see you realize your place in Anthony’s life. I take it he feels the same?”

Gibbs huffed out a breath and said:

“I think so….I was the one who blew it…before Spence…but you knew that already. I have to be careful Duck, like you reminded me just a few days ago, Tony just lost Spence….He needs time to grieve but I’m scared I might lose him before I even have him.”

It was Ducky’s turn to frown as he said “What on earth would make you say that, Jethro?”

“The fact Hector Zegarra has not been caught and almost kidnapped Tony for one….then Tony fought me today when I tried to make him take back up home with him. He was incensed telling me he no longer needed a babysitter…. He said he was moving his stuff….cutting off the alarm service and giving Linda the keys to the house tomorrow at Spence’s service….then there’s the fact Linda Spencer didn’t invite Tony to the memorial and he is intent on crashing...his last words to me, before he stomped out of the bullpen, was he would meet me there and if he embarrassed the agency he would have his resignation on my desk by tomorrow night…..damn Linda for doing this to him….”

“Oh my! She does seem to have it in for our Anthony…”

“Ya think Duck!?” Gibbs said in frustration then continued:

“I am also concerned about a person who is currently in Tony’s life who I know has an interest in Tony in a romantic way…I didn’t want to brooch the subject from this angle but now it doesn’t matter……you know how I feel about Tony and I am determined to make it right between us.”

“Then what is the problem…do I know this person?” Ducky asked his curiosity piqued.

“The problem is Tony sees this person as a friend and I have background information on this person I can never disclose to Tony….and you don’t know the person but he is a highly decorated cop. Do you remember that shootout a few years ago when a DC cop saved his partner and several tourists from a crazy at the wall?”

Ducky looked deep in thought for a moment then said:

“Yes….I remember seeing it on the news. The metro officer was quite the hero! This is the person who you claim is a rival for Tony’s affection?”

Gibbs growled “He is not my rival Ducky! I don’t believe Tony sees him as anything but a friend but this cop…his name is Mark Jensen…he seems obsessed with Tony…hell even Spence told me he thought the guy had his eye on him when we use to play basketball…he makes my gut scream in warning anytime I’m near him and he has a past that is really disturbing…”

“Disturbing? In what way?”

Before Gibbs could respond, the waiter had returned and set their food in front of them.

“Anything else gents?” the waiter asked

“More coffee?” Gibbs asked

“Right away sir.”

The two friends began to eat.

After the waiter refilled his cup, Gibbs looked around and said:

“His past is why I asked you to lunch…I need your opinion on this and maybe you can give me some insight from a profiling point of view if Jensen poses a threat to Tony.”

“Of course Jethro….please proceed.”

“Mark Jensen was born and raised in a small town in Iowa. His parents were killed in a fire when he was 15 years old. With no other family he was sent to Boy’s Town in Nebraska until he was 18. His grades were good and the school had no complaints against him. At least none I could find. He graduated with honors and went to college where he double majored in Criminology and Psychology. He went to work for Metro right out of college.”

Gibbs took a sip of coffee then continued:

“The information I have is that he was suspected to have started the fire that killed his folks. Per one of the doctor’s evaluations they reasoned Jensen would want both parents dead due to the horrors the kid endured at their hands. I have seen the juvenile records of private sessions he had with two separate psychologists and it isn’t pretty….”

“His father was a compounding pharmacist who ran the only pharmacy in town. He was training his son to take over the family business. The father taught Jensen everything he knew about preparing prescriptions of every kind. Before the kid was 15 he had an almost expert knowledge of all kinds of drugs…how to mix them and how to use them.”

“That does not sound disturbing, Jethro…I myself learned at a young age how to…” Ducky began but Gibbs cut him off with a quick shake of his head.

“That’s just the background Duck….the kid was his father’s protégé and that would be fine if that was the only family business. However, Jensen admitted to his doctor his father was a serial rapist and he was his father’s assistant.”

“Good Lord!” Ducky exclaimed

“Jensen gave detailed accounts of how he and his father would take “day trips” to nearby towns just when the high schools were getting out. His father would cruise the young women until he saw one he fancied and then he would obsess until he was able to “acquire her”-his father’s exact words.

His father used his young son to lure the young woman to the car with the excuse his “daddy needed help”. Then Jensen’s father would inject the girl with some concoction, rendering her unconscious or he would use chloroform. Either way, before he was done with her he drugged her up so much she had no memory of the events and he was very careful about not leaving any forensic evidence. Jensen said his father explained everything he was doing when the young woman was at their mercy. He explained how he drugged her and why…his excuse to Mark was that his Mother was a frigid religious freak who never understood her role in their marriage. He explained to his son he needed the intimacy Mark’s mother denied him, then proceeded to have sex with the unconscious girl while his son watched.”

Ducky looked horrified as he asked quietly “How old was Mark when his father started taking him on these “day trips”?

“He was only 8 years old.”

Ducky cringed as he asked “What of the boy’s Mother? What was her role in all this?”

“Mark told his psychologist his Mother constantly told him men were sinful and only wanted to fill their lustful desires. When Mark was 11 his mother found him masturbating and she came unglued. She dragged him into the bathroom by his hair, turned the shower on and forced him under the scalding hot water. She used a hard bristled scrub brush on his skin screaming he was a devil child and she would beat the sin out of him. Between the brutal scrubbing, she would beat him with the wooden handle. When he fell out of the shower onto the bathroom floor she sat on his chest and using the brush, scrubbed his penis and testicles to a raw and bloody pulp.”

His medical record substantiated that. His father rushed him to a doctor friend who tended to Mark avoiding questions on what had happened to him. Physically he recovered but mentally…who knows.”

“Oh God” Ducky said as he pushed his plate away “I think I may be sick.”

“I’m sorry Duck…I guess lunch wasn’t the best place to tell you all this.”

Ducky waved his hand dismissing the rare apology as he said:

“Do you have any information on this young man pertaining to adult relationships he may have? Has he ever been married? Children? If he fancy’s our Anthony we know he has homosexual tendencies but he may not admit that. It may be he is attracted to the person not the gender. It makes me wonder if the young man has ever had a “normal” sexual encounter let alone an intimate, healthy relationship.”

Gibbs looked sad and exhausted as he said:

“I cry for the boy, Duck, but I fear what a man exposed to all of that could do.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that evening-Tony’s apartment

Tony lay back on his couch, his head cradled in Abby’s lap, the eulogy he had written for Spence clutched in his fist. He was angry and he was tired and he was filled with sorrow. Abby had encouraged him to continue reading his speech aloud, even as his voice broke and tears spilled from both their eyes. It didn’t help that both had had too much to drink.

They were surrounded by packing boxes, partially eaten Chinese food containers and 8 empty beer bottles. The only place to sit was on the couch or the piano bench which was now tucked under the beautiful instrument right where Tony had envisioned it.

“I’m sorry Linda is such a bitch….I can make her disappear if you want me too Tony!” Abby said sincerely, looking down into the haunted green eyes of her best friend.

“Thanks Abby…..I want to hate her so much but it’s hard because I know she loved Spence too…she should see what we have in common…”

“She’s a vindictive, controlling, conniving, evil, vile, witch.....I mean, I’d like to be there too… for you and for Spence..…he was my friend too!”

Tony sat up and pulled a pouting Abby into a hug.

“I know Abs…I would ask you to be my sidekick tomorrow but I….”

Abby’s phone rang causing both friends to jump.

Abby smiled as she reached into her purse and pulled out her phone.

She didn’t recognize the number as she said “Hello?”

Tony tried not to eavesdrop as Abby said “Hey! What’s up?!.....Uh huh…tomorrow? Oh boy, you know that will have her panties in a bunch….. (laughter)….actually he wasn’t either…. I would prefer you ask him that question…”

Tony watched her eyes grow wide and a happy smirk tugged at her mouth as she handed him the phone.

“Hello?” he asked apprehensively

“Hey Tony! It’s Jimmy Spencer….how’d you like to be my plus one?”


	48. Chapter 48

Tony DiNozzo stood in front of his bathroom mirror and adjusted the knot of his black tie.

Black Armani suit, charcoal grey dress shirt and black leather Ferragamo shoes made him look like a million bucks.

‘Or mob enforcer’

He chuckled to himself remembering how Spence had called him that after he bought the suit.

He smoothed the tie down and buttoned the jacket. His injuries were still evident but not as pronounced as just a few days ago. He didn’t care about the injuries; he had other things on his mind. He was nervous about the upcoming service and what might happen. He did not wish to engage Linda in an ugly confrontation but he was determined to honor Spence even if it cost him his job.

He remembered Gibbs face was shocked and then his eyes looked worried when Tony had screamed at him that he didn’t need a babysitter and he would just resign if he embarrassed the department at the service. Gibbs had let him leave without a word. Tony wondered if he was just honoring Tony’s wishes or if he was just astonished that Tony yelled at him in the bullpen for all to hear.

If it was the latter Tony figured he’d pay for that one later.

Tony was just thankful Abby had come over and spent the night. He didn’t think he could have made it alone last night. After the movers left and Abby arrived, they ordered in Chinese and then role played how everything might go down when he crashed the service.

Thankfully Jimmy Spencer called and saved him from the horrors he and Abby had created.

Abby played a bitchy, evil Linda far too well and during a few scenarios had rendered Tony speechless. He had to admit Abby’s creative mind and vivid imagination scared him sometimes.

He was happy they were friends. He would not want to be on Abby’s shit list.

He walked out of the bathroom and ventured into the kitchen feeling slightly sick to his stomach. As he grabbed his wallet, keys, badge and gun he debated getting something for breakfast. Opting for just a bottle of water he grinned as he opened the fridge seeing a note Abby had left for him before she took off that morning.

It was written in red lipstick on a piece of cardboard and said:

“Do not let that bitch get to you!”

He grabbed his speech and the keys to Spence’s house and placed both in his breast pocket.

He dropped pellets of food into the fish bowl and watched goldfish Spence dart to the surface gobbling them up.

Tony smiled down at the fish and said softly “Wish me luck Spence.”

He hit the light switch to the off position, closed the door and pulling himself to his full height thought:

‘Showtime’

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was two hours early as he pulled up into the parking lot of the Washington Parrish Church of Christ. He parked at the side of the building and admired the 1807 Gothic Revival Style stone church as he walked across the street to a Starbucks.

He and Jimmy Spencer had agreed to meet there an hour before the service was set to start.

Tony ordered a coffee, and when it was ready, he walked towards a table near the front window.

He sat down with his back to a wall but with a great view of the church and the street in front.

Pulling out his phone he hit speed dial #1 and hoped Gibbs would be glad to hear his voice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had been completely exhausted when he made it home the night before.

He had thought about having a bourbon and working on his boat for a while but had somehow fallen asleep soon after he sat on his couch to remove his shoes. He woke up a wrinkled mess.

Showered and shaved, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand in less than thirty minutes, he sat at the kitchen table and thought about his conversation with Ducky the day before.

As Gibbs disclosed Mark Jensen was never married, had no children, no sign of a girlfriend or boyfriend, was well liked by co-workers and was reliable, loyal and trustworthy at his job, Gibbs had to wonder why he ever suspected the man. Saying everything out loud made him doubt himself. Maybe he was just worried Tony may find the younger man more to his liking then Gibbs. Tony and Jensen were close in age and Gibbs had to admit Mark Jensen was not an unattractive man.

Any doubt was quashed as Ducky worked his profiler magic and explained how a person can present one image to the world while hiding their true self. Gibbs knew that was true but needed the reassurance. Ducky gave him text book examples of serial killers who held respectful positions in society who were later discovered to have a heinous dark side.

Ducky mentioned John Wayne Gacy, who dressed as a clown volunteering his time for children’s events, was a successful businessman and well known in the Democratic Party but who also murdered 33 boys, raping and killing them and burying many of them in his basement.

Then there was Dennis Rader known as the BTK Killer-BTK standing for Bind Torture Kill. Rader had served in the United States Air Force, was an upstanding member of his church, was a Cub Scout leader and worked as a uniformed Compliance Officer for the city where he lived. He was also responsible for the deaths of at least 10 people including a family of four, two of them children. The man was a sadist, torturing and strangling his victims, yet he himself had children at home.

Ducky assured Gibbs you just never knew and if the signs were there…including a gut instinct that something was wrong, it should not be ignored. Ducky advised Gibbs that Mark Jensen may walk a thin line between right and wrong. He knows the difference and can be good but since he had a warped upbringing he may not know how to have deep ties to another human being where there is true intimacy. Saving his partner and the tourists was done because it was the right thing to do….he was doing his job.

It was the missing pieces of his personal life that were a mystery.

Gibbs advised Ducky that McGee had learned Jensen coached basketball for a boys club and he also volunteered as a karate instructor adding Jensen was a black belt and a trained kick boxer.

Ducky’s response to that worried Gibbs even more ‘So the boy is himself a deadly weapon’.

‘Great’ Gibbs thought as he finished his coffee.

Gibbs was determined to keep an eye on Jensen and if Tony pursued that friendship Gibbs would make sure he was along for the ride. There was no way he was letting Tony slip through his fingers again…not without one hell of a fight.

Gibbs stood to re-fill his cup when his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID he smiled but still answered gruffly:

“Gibbs”

“Good mornin’ boss…was wondering if you might want to meet me…I know it’s early….I’m at the Starbucks across the street from the church.”

Gibbs felt true happiness fill him but he hid it, casually saying:

“Sure…see ya in a bit.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony almost laughed as he watched Gibbs speed down the street, pull into the church parking lot, park, and quickly make his way across the street.

Gibbs was dressed all in black and Tony admired how truly handsome the man was as he moved with elegance and grace. Gibbs looked like a sleek panther gliding his way through the concrete jungle. Tony wondered what Gibbs would say if he told him as much. Tony grinned knowing he’d probably get a smack to the back of the head.

‘It would be worth it’ he thought watching Gibbs skillfully dodge traffic.

Gibbs ran a hand through his hair then dusted off a sleeve of his jacket as he stepped up onto the sidewalk. Tony was sure Gibbs was preening, like he wanted to make a good impression, as if he were meeting a date.

‘That would be something’ Tony thought wishing it were true…‘maybe someday’.

Gibbs looked at the store front and noticed Tony watching him from the window. Tony’s smile was warm and Gibbs felt a rush of heat to his face. He glanced away for a moment having noticed how gorgeous Tony looked but when he turned back Tony was gone, his cup of coffee sitting on the table.

Gibbs was pleased when he made it to the door Tony was there to meet him.

“Hey boss…thanks for coming early…let me get you a cup of coffee. You know where I’m sitting.”

Gibbs nodded and walked to Tony’s table. He was surprised that he was actually nervous. He hoped Tony didn’t want to have “the talk” right now.

He had not needed to worry. When Tony placed the dark coffee in front of him and took his seat across from Gibbs he said:

“I want to apologize for yelling at you in the bullpen yesterday. I know you have my best interests at heart, boss. The move was successful and Abby helped me a lot last night in preparation for today. I don’t think you need to worry about me embarrassing NCIS or myself because I don’t have to crash after all….”

Gibbs eyebrows arched so Tony continued:

“Jimmy Spencer called Abs last night to ask her to be his plus one. He heard Linda telling William Spencer that the only person from NCIS that was getting an invitation was you…he had assumed I would be your plus one and was shocked when Abby told him I wasn’t invited….so, now I am Jimmy’s plus one!”

Gibbs smiled at Tony’s enthusiasm but worried about him as well. Gibbs gut ignited at Tony’s revelation. He chose his next words carefully.

“That’s good Tony but if Linda doesn’t want you there….if she doesn’t know you’re going to be there how are you going to handle that? Do you want me to talk to her?”

Gibbs cringed inwardly as he saw some of the light in Tony’s eyes go out.

Tony frowned and looked down at the table as he said:

“That didn’t work out so well last time boss so I’d have to say no…thanks...but no. I’ll handle this on my own. I don’t want you involved.”

Tony looked up and Gibbs could see the pain and stress was back tenfold. It hurt his heart seeing Tony in so much pain….he wanted to hold him and tell him it would be alright but knew he couldn’t.

“Look, Jethro...” Tony began “Spence was your best and oldest friend. You and the Spencer family have a history that goes back years…many more then I do. I appreciate what Jimmy is doing for me but it is not lost on me that he is doing this to get to Linda…we share a mutual dislike of that woman…..but I do not want you to be deprived of saying goodbye to your friend or spending time with his family after the service. I ask that you not worry about me…I’ll probably just sit in the back and when the time comes I’ll say what I’ve come to say and leave.”

“Alright Tony….whatever you need to do but know I have your six…”

“I know, you always do…thanks boss.”

Tony noticed Jimmy Spencer was making his way across the street and pointed him out to Gibbs.

“Jimmy’s meeting us…one hour to go.” Tony said with trepidation.

“What are you doing tonight?” Gibbs asked

“Tonight….not much…wallowing in sorrow probably…” Tony said sarcastically.

“Will you let me take you to dinner?”

“Really?”

“Yeah Tony…you have to eat right? Besides wallowing in sorrow is not a good look on you.”

Tony beamed at him and Gibbs was happy to see joy return to Tony’s eyes.

“I would love to go to dinner, Jethro, than you can fill me in on all the gossip after I make my dramatic exit!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Over the next hour Jimmy, Gibbs and Tony drank coffee, shared Spence stories and watched activity blossom across the street.

Two Metro black & white units pulled up first. Four uniformed officers appeared. Gibbs recognized all four. The first two were Chip Carter and James Benton, friends of Spence’s and the Officers who had guarded Tony after the first Zegarra incident. The other two were Officer’s Tipton and Harper, the homophobic cops Gibbs had dealt with when the vegetable garden was destroyed.

Gibbs found it ironic that these two sets of partners represented polar opposites of tolerance and prejudice.

‘Good to have a balance’ he thought hoping it was Carter or Benton handling invitation duty.

Flower deliveries had started over an hour ago and when the “Manacuso Floral” delivery van pulled up Tony excused himself.

Jimmy and Gibbs watched Tony hurry over to the delivery van and saw the driver smile and embrace Tony in a tight hug. As Tony and the driver talked animatedly Gibbs looked at Jimmy and said:

“Thanks for asking Tony to be your plus one Jimmy…I take it Linda has no idea.”

“You’re right…I couldn’t believe it when I was presented with an invitation to my brother’s memorial service…I mean who the hell does that kind of thing?! Anyway…when I heard you were the only one getting an invite I assumed you’d bring Tony. I figured Abby was going to be left out that’s why I called her. Linda has no idea I have Abby’s number. I called Abby because I knew it would piss Linda off but Abby was Spence’s friend and deserves to be there. But the exclusion of Tony was over the top. I will never understand her pettiness and cold heart. She pretends to grieve for Spence all the while fucking William….oops…sorry Gibbs that was probably too much information.” Jimmy said looking slightly embarrassed.

Gibbs smirked and said “I know about the two of them and I don’t understand her either. I just hope she accepts that Tony is here and has something to say. I don’t want him hurt anymore Jimmy…he has been on one hell of an emotional roller coaster for the past week and it’s too much. I hope he gets some closure today.”

“Me too” Jimmy said sadly as he followed Gibbs line of sight.

The two men gazed on Tony DiNozzo and silently prayed he’d catch a break.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Giuseppe!” Tony said as he approached the delivery van.

“Tony! My friend....good to see you!” Giuseppe Manacuso said embracing Tony in a crushing hug.

Pulling back but keeping his hands on Tony’s biceps he said:

“I am sorry I will not be able to attend the service for Spence but come and see what I have prepared for him!”

Manacuso stepped away from Tony and over to the back of his van.

When he opened the door Tony gasped.

The floral arrangement he had requested was more beautiful then he could have imagined.

Reaching out he stopped before actually touching the beautiful flowers.

The work of art was in the shape of a large heart. Red rose buds were tightly fit one next to the other and were perfectly uniformed, their color a deep crimson. The heart was a brilliant red with the exception of one single white rose to the right of center.

“I worked in reverse this time Tony.”

Giuseppe Manacuso pointed to the single white rose and said:

“Your loss is great but today it is overshadowed….”

He waved his hand around the rest of the heart and said:

“Today it is love and devotion that prevails.”

Tony felt his eyes begin to water but he didn’t care.

“God Giuseppe….this is stunning….Spence would be so pleased…” Tony said reverently looking from the heart to Manacuso.

His long time florist had honored his Spence once again. Tony looked behind the heart and found the small card that went with it. He opened the envelope and smiled at what was printed there. Giuseppe had copied what he wanted verbatim.

“S-To you my love….thank you for the best two years of my life- T.”

Giuseppe Manacuso wiped at his own eyes and said:

“Take care of yourself Tony….be well and be happy….Spence would want those things for you until you see him again.”

Tony placed the card back on the heart and hugged Giuseppe as he said:

“Thank you so very much…I’ll be seeing you around Giuseppe.”

Manacuso nodded and smiled at Tony as he carried the heart towards the church and Tony made his way back to the coffee shop.

Tony was so caught up in his own thoughts he failed to notice a white truck pull over and park just down the block. Even if he had seen it, it wouldn’t have meant a thing to him.

He had never seen “Carlito’s Landscaping Company” before and since Spence was consuming his thoughts, he was too busy to notice the two occupants of the truck watching his every move.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say I think I am most proud of this chapter above all the others so far. By the way...I know there a lot of you out there and I would love to know where you are in the world. I am originally from the Bay Area in California and am currently in Las Vegas Nevada...and you are....??????  
> Enjoy this chapter no matter if you answer or not........I will post a few more over the next day but need to get writing to conclude this. It has really helped me get back into the flow here at A03. I thank you all for taking the journey with me...where ever you may reside!

Carlito Esteban and Hector Zegarra watched as Tony made his way across the street and enter the Starbucks.

Turning to the passenger’s side of the truck Carlito looked at Hector and asked:

“What now, Hefe?”

Hector smiled, his teeth a brilliant white, the gold canine nowhere to be seen.

He pulled the truck’s visor down and looked at his reflection.

The actor’s putty he had used on his face to disguise his scar was still perfect. He had cut his long hair to shoulder length but had tucked it up under a baseball cap advertising Carlito’s Landscaping Company. To the average eye he was a simple landscaper.

No one would suspect he was a bloodthirsty killer.

Turning to his second he sneered “Go get us a coffee Carlito…check on the maricon….when you return we sit and we wait….. fate will decide who dies today.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had rejoined Jimmy and Gibbs and the three of them watched as the mourners began to arrive. The church parking lot was beginning to fill up as a local news crew arrived and began to set up. Several black & white police cruisers took up strategic positions in the parking lot. One of the officers was seen getting out of his car and pointing out the area the news crew could use. The service was private but local news still had a story to tell.

A van pulled up to the front of the church and a uniformed officer got out of the driver’s side.

Mark Jensen made his way over to the passenger side and with the assistance of another officer helped Joe Alvarez and his wife, Marie, out of the van. Jensen helped Joe into a wheel chair and after looking around he signaled for Marie to go first as he pushed Joe into the church.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carlito had made a quick coffee run and was back in less than ten minutes. Handing a steaming cup of coffee to Zegarra he said:

“The maricon is with two hombres. I recognize the one who has been staying with him. He was the one who cuffed and gagged him.”

Zegarra snorted a laugh as Carlito continued:

“There is another man I do not recognize but he looks like the cerdo (pig) Jaime killed.”

Zegarra perked up at this.

“A hermano (brother)?”

Carlito shrugged “I don’t know hefe…perhaps.”

Hector Zegarra thought about killing the brother of the man he blamed for the death of his own. He shook his head and concentrated on the three he had originally focused on. It would be the race traitor, the widow or the maricon. He would love nothing more than to kill them all but if he wanted to get out alive and get back to Mexico he would have to take advantage of any opportunity that may arise. He would satisfy his need for vengeance and slip away.

His eyes narrowed, hate filled, when he saw Joe Alavarez. He practically growled as he said:

“I hope fate presents the race traitor Carilto…..”

Carlito nodded in agreement. He did not want any part in the killing of a woman. Carlito knew Linda Spencer had two sons. He purposely kept that information from Hector. He was loyal to his friend but he did draw the line at killing women and children.

The two men sipped their coffee in silence as they watched a black limousine pull up to the front of the church.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs looked at his watch as the limo pulled up. Tony could see Gibbs was debating what to do so he said:

“Go ahead boss….I’ll see you later tonight.”

Tony and Jimmy had decided to arrive after Linda made her entrance. Tony would sit at the back until he had a chance to speak. He would try to avoid a confrontation but he was prepared if it got ugly.

Jimmy excused himself, leaving Gibbs and Tony at the table, as he headed for the restroom.

Gibbs leaned forward and said:

“Tony…I appreciate your concern that I get a chance to say goodbye to Spence and visit with his family but you need to know they do not outrank you. Everything I do today is for Spence and for you….whatever you need I will do…just say the word…..”

Tony smiled shyly and fighting the urge to lean in and kiss Gibbs he said:

“Thank you Jethro….whatever happens in there we both know the truth.”

Gibbs nodded and standing said:

“Okay…see you this evening!”

Tony beamed as he said “I’m looking forward to it!”

Tony watched as Gibbs made his way across the street.

Linda got out of the limo like she was arriving at a red carpet event. She accepted a brief hug from Gibbs and Tony cringed as Spence’s sons reluctantly shook Gibbs hand. Tony was not surprised to see Gibbs shun William and John Jr. simply nodding his greeting instead of offering a hand.

Jimmy returned to his seat and watched his family interact.

Other cars had arrived carrying extended members of his family-cousins, aunts and uncles he hadn’t seen in years. Gibbs disappeared into the church as Linda basked in the attention being showered on her.

“Thanks again Jimmy…I hope this doesn’t cause issues for you.” Tony said sheepishly.

James Spencer laughed without much humor in it and said:

“Spence loved you Tony…you were everything to him. What you see across the street is a farce. I am glad I was able to do this for you and for my brother….yes it will piss Linda off, which I must admit, delights me to no end.”

The Spencer family, their kin and friends were finally making their way into the church.

Tony smiled knowingly saying “I guess we should head over”.

Jimmy nodded in agreement saying:

“Yep…but first I need to tell you something.”

Tony sat back, a curious expression on his face.

“Yesterday, Sam and I took flowers over to the mausoleum for his dad. He had a lot of questions. I told him to not hold back, to ask me anything. He asked me if I was bothered that his dad was gay….I told him it didn’t, that I loved my brother…..then he confessed he is gay and is worried about telling his brother and mother.”

Tony’s eyes got wide and he looked across the street.

He could see Sam standing at the church entrance looking around.

“He’s looking for me.” Jimmy said sadly “I told him I would meet him here.”

“Does Sam know I’m coming?”

“No…but Tony I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure..anything, Jimmy.”

“I asked Sam to consider moving with me to New York….he has yet to make a decision. I’d like to give him your number and tell him to call you if he has any questions about his dad…would you mind?”

“No…I would be happy to help Sam anyway I can.”

James Spencer looked tired as he smiled warmly at Tony.

“Thanks….alright…let’s go!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Tony and James walked across the street, Hector Zegarra squinted behind dark sun glasses zeroing in on Jimmy.

“I can see the resemblance to the cerdo, Carlito…if I knew I could get away with it I would run both of them over right now....” Zegarra said laughing.

Carlito Esteban laughed along but he felt a chill run through him. He was happy to be sitting in the driver’s seat so Hector couldn’t give in to spontaneity. He hoped to never be on the shit end of the stick where Hector was concerned. He had watched his childhood friend kill with fury, joy and absolutely no remorse.

Carlito was there when Hector ended Rueben Santiago’s life. Zegarra had made Santiago pay for his fuck up in using the wrong scythe. Carlito could still hear Santiago begging for Hector to just end his life. Hector had taken his time with Santiago...the “reaper” had a way with swords, knives and scythes. He had almost skinned Rueben Santiago alive before he took mercy and cut his throat.

Carlito looked over his shoulder into the bed of his truck. Besides the obvious landscaping equipment there was a long canvas bag. In it Carlito knew Hector had brought a 2ft long broadsword and a hand held scythe. His hefe would only be happy with a kill up close and personal. Carlito turned back to watch the church. He was happy to be carrying a stun gun and a Smith & Wesson 38 special.

Carlito hated knives.

He preferred guns every time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony noticed Sam’s eyes widen as he and Jimmy approached Spence’s youngest son.

Looking beyond Sam, into the church, Tony could see Chip Carter and another cop checking invitations to IDs. He wondered where Gibbs was.

“Sam….you remember Tony…” Jimmy said as Sam turned around to look behind him into the church. Jimmy and Tony both figured he was looking for Linda. She was nowhere in sight.

Turning back, Sam nodded and said “Hello Tony” then to his uncle he said:

“Are you insane Uncle Jimmy?! Mom and Jake are going to flip out! You know she doesn’t want Tony here…..” Sam said, than looking from his Uncle back to Tony he said:

“Sorry Tony.”

“Me too, Sam….I don’t mean to cause you any trouble but the fact is I loved your father very much and it is important for me to honor him.”

Sam looked at Tony and saw his determination. For a brief moment Sam wondered if he would ever find the kind of love his father and Tony obviously shared.

“Okay….I’d suggest you avoid my mom and brother.”

“That’s the plan…..I just need to get Tony inside. He’ll be in the back row until he has a chance to speak.” Jimmy said.

“I’ll meet you up front Uncle Jimmy.” Sam said as he turned to leave. At the last moment he turned around and looking Tony in the eyes held out his hand.

Tony reached out and took Sam’s hand in his as Sam said:

“I’m glad you’re here Tony.”

“Thank you Sam” Tony whispered as he felt his eyes begin to burn.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony and Jimmy were the last in line.

When they got to the table there was only one cop present.

Tony thought he looked familiar but he wasn’t sure where he had seen him before.

The cop’s name plate read “B. Harper”.

James Spencer presented his invitation and Tony presented his driver’s license.

Harper snorted as he looked at Tony’s ID and said:

“Sorry…Anthony DiNozzo is on the “do not admit” list.”

The cop smirked as he gave Tony back his license and pointed at the door.

“Now wait just one minute!” James Spencer said indignantly “Tony is my plus one…”

“Orders are orders….he is not…”

“Back off Harper!” Chip Carter said as he returned to the table.

“But Sarge…Linda Spencer said…..”

“I said back off! You are relieved….join your partner on the perimeter.”

Ben Harper stood and scowled. His face turned beet red as Carter pointed towards the door and said “Now!”

Harper stormed out of the church as Carter approached Tony and hugged him.

Tony hugged him back as he said “Thanks Chip.”

Chip Carter pulled back and said:

“You are walking into the lioness’ den my friend….God speed.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jimmy and Tony parted company after a brief hug-the two of them promising to stay in touch.

As Jimmy walked to the front of the church Tony sat in the last row off to the left.

He looked at the program he had been handed after getting clearance to enter.

The cover was peppered with photos of Spence-in his Marine blues, his Metro uniform, several photos with Linda and the kids smiling and happy, Linda and Spence on their wedding day, Spence with his brothers and father. The picture of Spence with his mother and grandmother-the same photo Tony and Spence had had on Tony’s piano.

Inside gave an outline of the service and there were more photos of Spence and Linda. There was one of Joe and Spence, “partners in crime” was the caption below the photo. A picture of Spence and Gibbs standing together, arms over shoulders, big grins on their faces. The caption below said “last day of boot camp”.

Tony smiled seeing the two men who had the biggest influence on his life-both young, happy and yet untainted by the horrors of war.

He tried not to think too much about his complete exclusion from the program. No picture and no mention-like he never, ever existed in Riley Spencer’s life.

He was happy to see that there was a period of time allotted for family, friends and colleagues to speak. He patted at his breast pocket. The speech and the keys to Spence’s house were still there.

Tony looked around the room and saw Gibbs talking with Joe Alvarez and his wife. As if Gibbs could feel Tony’s eyes on him, Gibbs turned to meet his gaze. The exchange was short but said everything. Tony could see absolute loyalty and support in those blue eyes. He noticed Gibbs did not point out Tony to Joe. Tony knew it was to protect him from unwanted attention.

Tony would make sure to greet Joe after he said his peace.

Tony noticed Mark Jensen was standing off to the side of Joe looking around the room. Jensen saw Tony and smiled his way. Tony smiled and sent a small wave. Jensen nodded back.

Tony knew Mark was there to protect Joe and his wife. He was nothing but professional.

Tony watched Jimmy head to the front of the church to meet Sam. When the two were together they worked their way around the room greeting various guests and family members.

Tony recognized a few of the Spencer family relatives from photos and stories Spence had shared with him. He was sad he had never got to meet the extended family and he doubted he ever would. Most of the family had no idea Spence was gay let alone that the man sitting patiently in the back row was his lover of the past two years. Hell most of them probably didn’t even know Spence and Linda were even divorced.

Tony suddenly became uncomfortable wondering if he was doing the right thing. It was important for him to tell the world what Spence meant to him but would he be ruining Spence’s image with his family or his reputation with his co-workers.

He started to sweat as he reached up and ran his fingers between his shirt collar and his neck.

He fought down what he could now identify as a panic attack.

He breathed in and out, mentally calming himself. He looked around wondering why he hadn’t seen Linda. He spotted William, John Jr. and Jake Spencer standing up near the church pulpit admiring a large photo of their brother and father. They were also looking at all the flowers that lined along the wall behind Riley Spencer’s photo. Giuseppe Manacuso’s beautiful red rose heart stood like a beacon of love among the other arrangements. Tony smiled hoping Spence was looking down and could see it.

He was day dreaming about Spence when he finally caught site of Linda. She must have been standing between William and John. She stepped towards the heart, looked behind it and pulled out the card.

Tony drew in a sudden breath and held it….time seemed to stop for a moment.

Tony couldn’t take his eyes off Linda.

She had removed her sun glasses and Tony could see her face flush pink as anger clearly began to build inside of her. She jammed the card towards William who read it and handed it back. She read it again and crushed it in her gloved hand. She hissed something at the Spencer brothers who moved towards the red heart. Tony could not hear what she was saying but he saw her look around then point at the heart then over to a side door.

William and John acted immediately. They took the floral arrangement to the side door, opened it and tossed it outside. When they came back they looked around to see if anyone had noticed. If anyone did they remained silent but Tony stood up feeling outraged.

That is when Linda saw him.

Jake moved forward, a look of rage on his face but Linda held him back. Never taking her eyes off Tony she whispered something to her eldest son. He reluctantly remained behind as she walked up the side aisle and made her way back towards Tony.

Tony looked around for moral support but Jimmy and Gibbs were unaware of what was going down.

Linda’s face took on the same pinched look he was familiar with but she was furious.

She approached like a viper looking to strike.

‘Fuck it’ he thought, throwing all caution to the wind.

He stepped out into the aisle to meet her.

“I want to talk to you.” She said quietly as she pointed to a door off to the left.

They both looked around and seeing only Jake watching them, Tony followed Linda into the rectory off the main chapel.

When the doors closed she turned on him.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

Something in Tony shut down inside him. He extinguished his internal rage as she embraced her wrath.

“I am here because Spence was my life Linda….you should understand. He was yours once but that ended a long time ago. We have more in common than not, why can’t you see that? Why are you so bitter that you have to be so damn cruel?!” he asked calmly.

Her eyes got wide and Tony almost laughed at her fish out of water expression as she sputtered out her response:

“How fucking dare you crash this service when I did not invite you…I left specific instruction that you were not to be allowed entrance! Gibbs was the only one to get an invite and only Gibbs…how that hell….”

She stopped and Tony could tell an invisible light bulb just lit up over her head.

Her eyes narrowed to slits and she hissed “Jimmy made you his fucking plus one….”

Tony couldn’t help it…he gave her a dazzling smile.

“I will fucking kill him…” she seethed “and you…You…YOU get the fuck out of here right now!!”

“I am not going anywhere until I share with the world how much Spence means to me.”

“FUCK YOU…you mother fucking queer! You stole the love of my life from me…you turned him into a fucking homo….you ruined my family…..he belonged with us and you kept him away….”

She pulled back her arm and moved to slap him forcefully in the face.

He caught her palm in midair. He pulled her body close and looked down into her eyes. Where she held only contempt for him Tony had only compassion for her as he said:

“Do you honestly believe that? God help you if you have been carrying that shit around all this time Linda…..you will never ever hurt me again…..I pity you….we could have been friends….your sons could have known their father…he was such a wonderful human being and you stole that from them with your hate and your crazy obsession that Spence would someday come back to you. I know he loved you very much...once…”

Before Tony could continue Jake was there pushing him away “Get your hands off my Mother you cock sucker!”

Tony stumbled back but caught his footing in time as Jake moved forward.

“Jake! Stop it!”

It was Sam.

Tony wondered how much the boys had heard.

“Please Jake…leave Tony alone….everyone is seated and Father Monroe is about to start…he is waiting for us…mom c’mon….please!”

Sam’s face showed his pain and distress as he pleaded with his Mother and brother.

Linda looked at her youngest son and nodded as she straightened her dress and smoothed her hair.

With a final look at Tony she wagged a finger in his face and said:

“I want you out of here…you fucking fag….I want you out of this church and out of my house…I have had enough of you!”

Tony sighed heavily as Jake took his mother’s arm and guided her out the door.

The look he threw at Tony was full of hate.

Sam began to follow them but before he made his exit he looked at Tony and said:

“I’m sorry Tony but could you please leave….please…..”

Tony nodded slowly seeing the depth of pain in Sam’s eyes. He had seen Sam cringe when Linda spit out the word fag. He reminded himself of what Jimmy had confided in him.

Sam was gay and had yet to come out to his mother and brother. If Sam had heard everything his mother had said to Tony he had to wonder if his mother would feel the same about her son.

Tony pulled the speech from his inside breast pocket and handed it to Sam.

He looked Sam directly in the eyes as he said:

“This is what I was going to say Sam…I want you to have it and I would like you to read it. Your father was a great man. If you ever have any questions about your dad…if you want to talk about him…or if you want or need to talk about anything I am a phone call away. Your Uncle Jimmy has my number. You go on….I will wait a few minutes then I’ll slip out the back….”

Sam looked like he might cry as he stepped up to hug Tony.

Tony never even hesitated. He hugged Sam tightly and kissed him on the top of his head.

“You father would be so very proud of you Sam….”

Sam clung to Tony and whispered:

“Thank you, Tony.”

Sam pulled away first, slightly embarrassed, as he made his way to the door.

Before he left Sam looked at Tony and wiped at his damp eyes. He shot Tony a warm and loving grin and to Tony’s surprise what he saw was all Spence.

Up until that single moment Tony had never seen a likeness between Spence and his sons but there it was in Sam’s eyes.

Tony wiped at his own eyes but his smile was wide and he was wonderfully happy.

Just like he had promised Sam….he waited a few minutes and then quietly slipped out the back.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Peeps! This is a short chapter but I am going to be posting a few more today. From 60 to 65 I am going to pace myself as I am writing new chapters to get to the conclusion.

“That was fast” Chip said as Tony exited the church.

Tony was surprised to find Officer Chip Carter alone on the church steps. Tony looked around and saw the news crew taking a coffee break along with the cops set up on the perimeters.

“Yep…..it was nothing like I imaged it was going to be.” Tony said, looking somber.

“Why are you out here Chip? You and Spence go way back….it doesn’t seem right that you aren’t in there right now.”

Chip snorted and said “I assigned myself this position Tony. This whole thing is a crock of shit. This should be about honoring Spence and the people he loved….namely you and his kids.”

Tony was touched that Chip was so supportive.

“It is because of Spence’s kids I’m taking off.” Tony said quietly.

Chip Carter studied Tony for a few minutes then asked “You going to be okay Tony?”

Tony put out his hand and as Chip grasped it said:

“For the first time in a week I think I can answer “yes” to that question. Thank you again for helping me get into the service, Chip.”

Carter nodded and said “Good and you are welcome, Tony…so where are you off to now?”

“I’m headed back to Spence’s house to say a final goodbye to my life of the past two years and to my man. So much has changed in the blink of an eye……so a bit of reminiscing and a few bottles of beer can go a long way.”

Chip chuckled and said “Toast your man for me too!”

“You got it….see ya around Chip!” Tony said as he made his way down the church steps.

Tony walked around to the other side of the church opposite of where his car was parked.

He needed to retrieve something that had been carelessly discarded.

Before he picked up the red rose heart he pulled out his phone and sent a text to Gibbs.

“Left early. Will explain tonight. Heading to Spence’s. Meet me there later?”

Tony hit send then pocketed his phone. He knew Gibbs had shut his phone off for the service but his boss would check for a message when he noticed Tony didn’t get up to speak.

He picked up the rose heart, inhaling the fragrant scent and admiring the beauty of it as he headed for his car. He placed it lovingly in his trunk and was actually thankful to be taking it with him. What had at first enraged him now brought him comfort. He laughed at the thought of actually being happy Linda was a jealous bitch.

That didn’t last long as he thought of Sam and the “spark of Spence” alive there in his son’s eyes.

Tony pulled out of the parking lot, still oblivious he was being watched.

Hector Zegarra looked almost disappointed as he watched Tony drive by.

“Fate has placed the maricon in my hands Carilto….not the one I hoped for but he’ll do.”

Hector licked his lips adding “Besides he and I have some unfinished business.”

Hector looked at his lifelong friend and smiled mischievously.

“El maricon es muy bonito, si?” (The fag is very beautiful, yes?) Hector chided Carlito.

“If you say so hefe” Carlito said without much interest.

Hector nudged his second and said “Maybe a little poke before I slice?”

Carlito rolled his eyes in disgust sending Hector into a fit of laughter.

Carlito stifled a shudder as he pulled away from the curb and followed Tony, making sure he kept a good distance so he wasn’t noticed.

He hoped Hector would just dispatch the guy quickly so life could go back to some kind of normal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Officer Mark Jensen was surprised to see Tony quietly leave ten minutes after Linda Spencer and her sons had taken their seats and the service began. Jensen looked at Gibbs then looked back to the door Tony had exited through. He spent a few more minutes wondering if Tony had just gone to the head.

Gibbs was engrossed in the service. Gibbs was even unaware that Jensen was fidgeting as Mark looked to the back of the church and then back at Gibbs.

Jensen finally decided he needed to find out if Tony was okay.

He leaned down and whispered to Joe he would be back in a bit.

Joe simply nodded in response, so caught up in the service he hardly acknowledged Jensen’s presence.

Satisfied Joe would be okay; Mark Jensen walked up the outer aisle and exited out onto the church steps. Sargent Chip Carter was sitting enjoying a smoke as Jensen approached.

Carter exhaled as he said “Hey Mark…what’s up? Service isn’t over yet is it?”

“No…still about two hours to go. Hey…have you seen Tony? I saw he left and hasn’t returned. I checked the head and it’s empty.”

Carter took a drag of his cigarette, held it, than purged his lungs.

“He told me he was heading over to Spence’s house.”

Mark felt nervous as he said: “Alone? He knows better than to be alone over there since Zegarra…”

“But Zegarra’s in Mexico…”

“ICE couldn’t prove that though, Sarge…they had reported sightings but nothing substantial!”

Chip looked hard and long at Jensen and wondered why he seemed so concern. Chip was aware of Spence’s suspicions that Mark Jensen had a deeper interest in Tony other than friendship.

Chip figured that didn’t matter now and wanted Tony to be safe so he said:

“Me and Benton will make sure Joe and Marie are taken care of. Head over there but give Tony some space. It seemed to me he wanted to be alone.”

Jensen nodded enthusiastically saying:

“I’ll just keep watch and make sure he’s safe.”

“Good…check in with me every two hours okay?”

“Will do Sarge….thanks!”

Carter watched Jensen drive away hoping he wasn’t making a big mistake.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony parked in the drive way, locked his door, and popped the trunk. A burst of rose assaulted his senses and he closed his eyes and inhaled it all in. There were many scents he would always associate to Spence but roses would now forever be number one.

As he made his way up the stairs and into the house he didn’t notice the white truck as it parked two houses down.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disturbing violence ahead

Father Henry “Hank” Monroe was as funny as he was long winded. Vietnam veteran, former cop turned preacher, He worked the church patrons like a stage actor, bringing his audience to equal parts laughter and tears.

His love for Spence and Linda was obvious as he weaved stories and shared anecdotes. Gibbs was surprised to actually hear a few things about Spence that even he didn’t know. As laughter filled the room Gibbs strained to hear Tony’s distinct laugh but he couldn’t make it out.

Gibbs fought the urge to turn around and see how Tony was doing. He regretted not insisting he sit with Tony. He knew Tony needed to lead in this but Gibbs felt guilty not taking a stand. Father Monroe may know many things but he had no idea Spence was gay or that his young male lover was seated in the very back row waiting to declare his love. As far as Gibbs knew, Monroe, who had officiated Linda and Spence’s wedding, still thought they were married.

So many lies….so many hidden truths.

Gibbs looked around wondering how this crowd would respond to Tony. It didn’t look promising. There were only a handful of people Gibbs recognized that had firsthand knowledge of Tony and Spence’s relationship.

‘This could get very ugly’ he thought, determined that no matter what happened he would back Tony 150 percent.

Gibbs appreciated Tony’s concern that he spend time with Spence’s family but the truth was now that Spence was gone they meant nothing to him. Sure Gibbs would do for Spence’s kids if they needed anything but Tony was everything to Gibbs and his position would forevermore be number one.

The time was quickly approaching for him to come clean about that.

He hoped he had the guts to make it soon.

The timing had to be right.

‘The night of his lover’s memorial service was not it’ Gibbs thought, giving himself a mental head slap.

Gibbs inner dialogue came to a quick halt as Father Monroe concluded his sermon and introduced Metro Police Chief Pollard as the next person to speak. Just like at the task force meeting, Pollard took his time getting to the podium. This delay gave Gibbs a chance to casually look around.

He glanced to the back of the church and did not see Tony.

For a minute he wondered if Tony was in the restroom. He felt a rumbling in his gut but fought it down. When he noticed Mark Jensen was also no longer in attendance his gut ignited and this time he didn’t fight it. Instinctively he pulled out his phone and turned it on. He saw the text from Tony:

“Left early. Will explain tonight. Heading to Spence’s. Meet me there later?”

‘No no no!’ Gibbs thought as he looked around wildly.

He had to go.

He stood suddenly and excusing himself, pushed his way down the pew towards the aisle.

Linda shot him a look letting him know his actions were rude as Jimmy just looked at him curiously.

Gibbs heard Pollard tap the microphone just as he burst through the exit.

Chip Carter was shocked to see Gibbs looking frazzled as he rushed through the church doors.

“Gibbs?! Everything okay?” He asked

“No…did you see Tony leave?”

“Yes…he left about 40 minutes ago why?”

‘SHIT!’

“Was Mark Jensen with him?”

“No…Mark came out of the church looking for him about 10 minutes after Tony left. I told him Tony was heading over to Spence’s. Mark didn’t think Tony should be alone ‘cause of Zegarra…”

Carter didn’t finish his sentence, at least not that Gibbs could hear.

Gibbs was already running to his car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Earlier

The house was very quiet and looked strange to Tony’s eyes.

The piano and couch were gone, leaving a few side tables and a chair.

The shelves sat half empty-only Spence’s books, CDs and a few framed photos remained.

The coat/hat rack standing near the stairs leading to the second floor had been stripped of all Tony’s things-only a Metro baseball cap and Spence’s wide brimmed garden hat adorned it.

When the movers were there things were hectic and with a lot of people around he didn’t have time to think about the big changes he was making, just focus on the task at hand.

It was when the dust settled and he was alone that the big picture screamed in his face.

‘You are alone’

Tony sighed feeling depressed and sad. He wondered if it had been a wise choice to come over here one last time. He had planned to hand over the keys to Linda but when that didn’t happen and Sam asked him to leave, the only place he knew he would feel close to Spence was in the home they had shared.

Tony made his way to the kitchen and placed the rose heart on the kitchen table. He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. There were at least 10 bottles of beer but he had been joking with Chip Carter about drinking. Tony was too much of an emotional drunk and he didn’t need to heighten the hell he was already in.

He twisted off the cap and drank down half the bottle then set it down on the counter. He removed his jacket and hung it on a kitchen chair then loosened his tie as he sat down.

He stared at the rose heart and thought about Spence.

His beautiful inviting smile, his laugh, his warm naked body held close on a rainy night, making love after a stressful day, cooking, movie nights, gardening, singing in the car, slow dancing in the firelight....the images flashed over and over in Tony’s mind.

He wiped at his damp eyes but the tears were of joy not of sorrow.

He knew he was lucky to have met Spence and that they had 24 months of absolute bliss.

Gibbs had given that to him and to Spence.

After the kiss Gibbs laid on him the other night Tony knew his boss loved him.

Tony could feel it all in those few seconds.

There was a hungry desire in that kiss but it was much more than lust.

That kiss was the embodiment of absolute love.

Tony smiled as he raised his right hand and ran his fingertips over his lips.

In his heart he realized he might just have another chance at love.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs just might be his salvation.

Coming to a decision, he grabbed the water bottle and the rose heart then exited out the back door into the garden.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hector and Carlito sat for a long time quietly watching and contemplating their move.

Hector spoke first saying “Tiempo para hacer esto (time to do this)!”

“How do you want to play this hefe?” Carlito asked nervously as Hector got out of the truck and reached for the canvas bag holding his weapons of choice.

Bag in hand Hector leaned into the passenger’s side and said:

“My signature style amigo but with a twist!”

“Twist?” Carlito said, not liking the sound of that.

Hector laughed and said:

“You remember my third movie “El Colector Alma”?

Hector smirked when Carlito’s eyes widened in shock and fear.

“The Soul Collector?! No hefe! Please….can we just kill the maricon and get out of here!?”

Carlito knew what Hector was planning and it was gruesome and painful and it would take far too long.

He pleaded and tried to reason with his friend.

“I do not have a good feeling about this! The cerdo is dead…let me just execute the maricon….bullet to the head…..please Hector, mi amigo…..you need to get out of DC quickly…I do not want to fuck around with the maricon!”

Hector frowned and huffed out his disappointment.

“You don’t want to fuck him is what you are saying Carlito…I know you do not have a taste for that…fine….we will not fuck the maricon but I do plan to fuck him up!” Hector said heartily as he slammed the truck door and maneuvered his way towards Spence’s house.

Carlito hung his head saying “Madre sagrada nos ayude (Sacred Mother help us)!”

He checked to make sure his two guns were secure then got out of the truck to follow Hector.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had laid the rose heart over the spot where Bruno the Garden gnome once stood. He felt it was fitting as Tony had annihilated the thing even though he knew Spence had a deep affection for it.

Sitting on the deck stairs Tony drank his water and chuckled saying out loud:

“Sorry about Bruno, Spence…well not really…but you probably already know that. At least I hope you know it….I hope you are looking down and can see this beautiful heart Giuseppe made for you. He was shocked to hear about your death….he’s a good man…not afraid to show how he feels. Kinda like you…..well, actually, exactly like you. You were never, ever afraid of how you felt or how to show it. I wish I could be more like that….it is one thing I learned from you and try to emulate.

I miss you Spence….I have been just going through the motions really….I know that I need to move forward without you but it’s hard and it sucks. Got a new apartment and bought a fish…named him in your honor….trying to put one foot in front of the other ya know?”

Tony looked around feeling kind of foolish talking to thin air.

‘Fuck it’

Tony stood up and walked over to the heart then he looked up to the second floor of the house.

Wondering what the brilliant red heart must look like among the torn up destruction of the once pristine garden he headed back inside.

Taking two steps at a time he headed upstairs and walking into the master bedroom he went immediately to the window. Looking down into the garden took his breath away.

The brilliant red heart radiated toward the heavens and Tony felt a chill run through his body.

He shuddered from it but stopped when he felt warm air on the back of his neck…like someone was exhaling a breath. Suddenly it felt like he was enveloped in a loving embrace from behind. He felt invisible arms around him and a heaviness on his left shoulder like someone was resting their head.

When he felt the physical hug his breath hitched in his throat and he felt light headed. His entire body tingled and he felt a burst of love run like an electrical current through his entire body.

“Spence?” he dared whisper a loud, not understanding any of it but feeling all of it.

As fast as it happened it ended as quickly.

There was no sense of loss just a complete sense of relief, assurance, gratitude and love.

Tony couldn’t help it… he laughed and sobbed intermittently unsure if what had just happened actually did happen or was it just his imagination. It felt so real. He decided not to overthink it.

Feeling a giddy happiness he walked into the closet and selected a pair of Spence’s sweats and a t-shirt. He toed off his shoes and undressed, leaving his clothes on the bed, he quickly slipped into the sweats and tee.

Spence’s scent emanated from the shirt as Tony walked barefoot towards the bedroom door.

He had a smile on his face, feeling a level of contentment he had not known in over a week.

As he made his way down the stairs the warmth he was feeling turned ice cold and the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

He looked over towards the front door and saw it was slightly open.

When he entered he had made sure to lock the door since he no longer had the alarm system.

He reached for his gun but it wasn’t in his waistband.

He had left his gun and badge upstairs on the bed.

Cursing his stupidity he walked backwards up the stairs as quietly as he could.

When he heard Hector Zegarra’s voice say “Hola maricon!” Tony turned and ran up the stairs as fast as he could.

He didn’t make it very far.

Tony heard the pop of electric static in the air before he actually felt the Taser gun’s barbed hooks imbed themselves in his back. His body jerked and he tumbled down the stairs. His mind was surprisingly clear as he counted click after click of the Taser gun as the pain ripped through him. It seemed to go on for hours. His body wracked in pain, muscles cramped unable to move but his thoughts were clear. Hector Zegarra was standing over him smiling. Tony could see he had changed his appearance. No more gold tooth and the scar was covered somehow but there was no mistaking the evil smirk and the determined eyes.

“I think he has had enough Carlito.”

The sound of clicks stopped. The electrical current stopped. Tony’s mind was still clear but the pain was everywhere. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He could only look up into the eyes of a man he knew wanted him dead.

“Get him up against the wall!” Hector demanded.

Another man hovered above Tony…a man Tony had never seen before. This man’s eyes bore almost an apologetic look as he leaned into Tony.

Tony was like putty in this man’s hands.

He was dragged over to the wall near to where the piano once sat.

The man pushed him up against the wall but Tony could not sit up straight.

His head lolled forward, the pain ricocheting everywhere inside his body.

He had no control over his body, only his mind, and unfortunately he could not think these guys to death.

“Hold his head up Carlito…I want him to be witness to his destruction!”

Carlito looked down at Tony and stifled a laugh. The last line Hector had just said was directly from his third movie. Carlito would never tell Hector he was too melodramatic and a really lousy actor. Carlito could praise his friend’s ability to terrorize, maim and kill. Hector excelled in that department.

Tony felt a hand in his hair and his head was jerked back hitting the wall behind him.

It would have hurt if he wasn’t already hurting everywhere else.

Tony watched Hector’s eyes twinkle with pleasure as he pulled a hand held scythe from a canvas bag and set it on the chair.

Hector than made a big production of withdrawing a broadsword from the bag. Tony was observant enough to see if was about 2 feet in length and looked very real. Hector waved it around in a figure eight motion. Tony couldn’t help it he laughed.

In his mind he pictured movie scenes from “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark” and Sean Connery in the “Untouchables”. Tony wished he had a gun and the ability to shoot Zegarra dead. He would then say “Never bring a knife to a gunfight”.

But he didn’t have his gun or the motor functions to pull a trigger even if a gun was in his hand but he could laugh and that is what he did. He was damned if he was going to give this murdering asshole any satisfaction of seeing fear in his eyes.

If this is how he was going out he would laugh, close his eyes and think about Spence. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to be with Spence…the only regret that came to mind was not being able to say goodbye to Abby, Kate, Ducky and McGee and of course not telling Gibbs how much Tony had always loved him.

That thought is what saddened Tony the most and the laughter died in his throat.

Zegarra had stopped with the theatrics and scowled down at his prey.

“You think this is funny maricon?” he asked then got down on his knees to face Tony eye to eye.

“You see this broadsword?” Zegarra asked as he ran his hand affectionately along the flat part of the blade “she is sharp and she is deadly.”

Tony worked at controlling his breathing as he watched Hector caress the sword like a lover.

To add to the drama Hector purposely nicked himself on the sharp edge then yelped as blood began to ooze from the cut.

He licked his finger clean and laughed saying “It is not my blood she craves tonight…”

Hector pulled his arm back as his eyes turned black with rage.

With a swift forward thrust he stuck the sword into Tony’s stomach ramming it through his flesh effectively pinning him to the wall.

It happened so suddenly Tony had been completely silent.

He felt his lips form the shape of an “O” as he looked down to see the sword embedded in his midsection. There was no immediate pain as he had been in perpetual pain since the Taser took him down.

As if he could read Tony’s thoughts Hector said.

“The pain will come and when it does you will beg me to kill you….but right now, if I have done this right, I have missed all vital organs and pinned you like the beautiful mariposa (butterfly) that you are.”

Hector ran the palm of his hand gently down Tony’s cheek then slapped him with force.

Tony saw stars but as his vision cleared he could only stare at Hector in disbelief.

Hector smiled and stood, nodding to Carlito who released his grip of Tony’s hair.

Tony didn’t yet have the strength to hold his head up so he stared at the sword protruding from his body and his mind went blank.

He heard Hector tell Carilto to go. Then he heard footsteps and the front door close.

Hector knelt down next to Tony and lifted his chin saying:

“I have done this many times maricon but I must say this time will give me much pleasure. I am going to dissect you and I am going to take my time. You will die a hundred deaths before I dispatch you and when I do it will be music to my ears hearing you beg and cry for mercy.”

Tony had enough of all of it as he smiled at his captor and said sarcastically

“Sounds like you’re quoting some crap movie lines there “reaper”….”

Before Tony could finish, Hector placed his hand on the sword’s hilt and gave a little twist.

Tony’s agonizing scream could be heard all the way down the block.


	52. Chapter 52

Mark Jensen drove down Tony’s street slowing as he passed the house.

He turned around at the end of the block, parked his car, cut the engine and sat back to observe.

He was across the street and three houses down and had a perfect view of the front of Spence’s home.

He was far enough away not to be noticed easily.

He saw Tony’s car was there and debated going up to the house to see him. Remembering that Chip Carter said it seemed Tony wanted to be alone, he abandoned that thought. He knew Tony had to be having a hell of a day and he would give him some time. He just wanted to make sure his man was doing okay.

He smiled to himself, loving the sound of Tony being “his” man. He knew it would take some time but Tony would come around. Mark Jensen was sure being with Tony was his destiny.

It was getting to be a warm day so Mark rolled down his windows.

The neighborhood was quiet and no one was around. Mark reasoned it was a Tuesday and being a working class neighborhood most of the residents were at their jobs and their kids were in school.

Out of habit Mark studied the few vehicles parked in the vicinity. Most looked to be a second family car, either parked in a drive way or in front of a specific house.

He noted one white service truck with the wording “Carlito’s Landscaping Company”, on the side, as he had made his way down the street.

He thought about that truck and wondered why he wasn’t hearing the sounds you would usually associate to landscaping. No lawn mowers, no leaf blowers…nothing….it was completely silent.

He looked around and movement at Tony’s caught his eye.

A man appeared on Tony’s doorstep. He had exited out the front door and closed it behind him looking around suspiciously. He stood there for several minutes then descended the steps and walked towards the truck.

Mark wondered if Tony had contacted a landscaper to repair the backyard.

‘But why now of all days?’ he thought.

He sized up the man-5’6 or 5’7, light skinned Latino male, 30 to 40 years old, 160 to 180 pounds, nice looking.

He also appeared to be nervous.

The man wore a loose fitting, long sleeve, white t-shirt with the name of the company, matching the truck logo, on the back.

Jensen frowned thinking ‘This doesn’t make sense.’

Any questions he was pondering flew from his brain when he heard a scream that was so pained it sent a chill right through him.

The man walking across the street panicked, quickly looking around before running back towards Tony’s house.

As the man suddenly turned, his shirt hiked up exposing the weapons at his waist.

Jensen saw the guns and the hair on the back of his neck stood straight up.

Both a cop and killer’s instinct took over and he was out of his car in seconds, his side arm now in hand.

Before the man made it to Tony’s front steps, Jensen took a chance and made a guess yelling:

“CARLITO?!”

The man spun around, his shock quite apparent.

Seeing Officer Mark Jensen in full uniform, walking directly toward him, gun pointed down towards the ground but securely held in his hand caused Carlito to freak.

His eyes widened and he started sputtering something in Spanish. He staggered backwards automatically reaching for his gun. Carlito had lost his ability to reason, so caught off guard that he was face to face with a Metro cop.

There was a reason Carlito’s name never came up at the task force meeting. His job for Los Muertos was to run a legitimate business and do surveillance for Hector Zegarra. He was not an innocent, having killed several men himself, but he was the eyes and ears of the gang not the muscle.

Jensen raised his empty hand, signaling Carlito to stop, as he warned:

“Don’t do it! I do not want to hurt you but if you draw down on me I will shoot you and it won’t be to wound! Just put your hands on the back of your head and kneel…..”

Carlito pulled his .38 Special but he never even got his finger on the trigger.

Mark Jensen raised his gun and shot twice.

Carlito Esteban was dead before the second bullet joined the first…dead center in his heart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The gunshot brought Tony around.

The pain had been so excruciating he had passed out.

He heard Zegarra cursing in Spanish. He sounded a distance away so Tony took a chance and raised his head. The pain was so intense he almost passed out again but pure determination made him follow through.

Zegarra was ducking near the front window and he was pissed.

He heard Zegarra muttering in Spanish. Tony caught most of it.

“Damn you Carlito! You have gone and got yourself dead!”

Zegarra looked around frantically. He grabbed his scythe from the chair and stood near the front door. Tony could tell Zegarra was sweating but he didn’t look scared, more like he was trying to formulate a plan. Tony couldn’t keep his head up any longer. He stared down at the floor and at the sword. It dawned on him there was only a minimum amount of blood from the wound. It was so surreal he wondered if everything was just a bad dream.

 

He struggled to stay conscious but quickly lost that battle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark Jensen quickly called Metro dispatch and reported shots had been fired and he needed backup. He looked down at Carlito’s open, lifeless eyes and asked the dispatcher to also send medical assistance. Mark glanced at the house, which was very quiet. He knew medical help would be wasted on Carlito but he wanted to make sure help was on its way in case Tony needed it. Mark didn’t even want to give life to the thought Tony may already be dead.

Jensen heard the sound of a vehicle traveling at high speed before he saw it.

The car came to a screeching halt and Jensen was not surprised to see Gibbs jump out.

Gibbs quickly took in the scene.

“Where’s Tony?” he demanded.

Jensen nodded towards the house and said “Presumably inside.”

“Zegarra in there?” Gibbs said.

Jensen shrugged “Maybe…I haven’t got there yet. I just called this in.”

He waved his hand over Carlito’s body adding “Backup and medical is on its way.”

Gibbs nodded his approval.

“You cover the back and I’ll go in the front.” Gibbs said as a matter of fact.

Jensen watched as Gibbs pulled his gun from its holster. He realized now was not the time for a pissing contest. It was all about Tony and getting to him and making sure he was safe.

Jensen said “Alright” as he took off to the left side of the house.

When Jensen was out of sight, Gibbs made his way up the front steps, gun at the ready, holding his breath.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Zegarra watched as Gibbs pulled up and joined the cop.

Hector considered running out the back but he knew the cop had called in reinforcements and he wouldn’t get very far.

Hector Zegarra resigned himself to the fact this may very well be his last stand.

Besides, the cop had just killed his homeboy and that one act had just elevated him to the top of Hector’s shit list.

“Reembolsos son una perra! (Paybacks are a bitch)” He said out loud.

He laughed picturing the final scene in his fifth movie “Venganza Por Mi Mano” (Vengeance by My Hand) where “The Reaper” took on six crooked cops to avenge the death of his best friend who had been murdered by them. After a bloody hand to hand battle, the “Reaper” had emerged victorious and the only one still breathing, a sea of blood and body parts of his enemies scattered all around him.

Hector knew with opportunity he would recreate that scene with the cerdo who had just killed Carlito. He closed his eyes and imagined the glory of it all.

A plan came to his mind….he just needed to get the cop alone.

Hector looked over at Tony and thought how to use him for leverage. In his anger he had almost forgotten about Tony. Hector peeked out the window and saw Gibbs approaching the front door with his gun drawn.

Hector reckoned the cop was making his way to the back.

Hector felt a surge of power and adrenaline rush through his body as he became the “Reaper”.

It felt like it always did when he heard the Director say “action”.

He was on his mark and ready to go.

The Reaper swung the front door open just before he hurried over to Tony and placed the scythe blade under his chin. Hector knew his timing had to be just right. He didn’t worry…he always got it in one take.

“Come in hombre.” Zegarra said when he knew Gibbs was right outside the door.

“Enter…but do so carefully. You risk the chance of your friend losing his head.”

Gibbs crossed to the other side of the door frame and looked in.

He could see Zegarra crouching down and he saw that he held a curved blade at Tony’s chin.

He didn’t move until he saw the sword.

Enraged, Gibbs stepped into the house pointing the gun directly at Zegarra’s head.

Gibbs almost choked on the words but knew he had to say them.

“Is he even still alive?”

Zegarra laughed and carefully lifted the blade. Tony whimpered as the blade cut into his neck and Gibbs saw droplets of blood fall to the floor.

“ENOUGH!” Gibbs yelled trying not to panic “What do you want?”

Zegarra smirked and said:

“I don’t care about your amigo anymore…and I really don’t have an issue with you…but I do want to get out of here….so…what I want you to do is empty your weapon…throw the bullets to the right and the empty gun to the left. I leave you with your friend and make my way out the back…deal?”

The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

Gibbs hoped Jensen was in place as he said “Deal!”

Gibbs emptied his weapon of ammo and threw them to the right. He then threw the empty Sig over to the left. He was prepared to lunge at Hector if he failed to keep his part of the deal.

Hector chuckled looking at Gibbs stressed expression.

Nodding down at Tony’s limp form Hector said:

“I can tell you are very worried about him…you are a loyal friend…that is very good….You saved him from me before….you are going to have your hands full to save him again.”

In one swift motion, Hector stood up straight, placed his foot on Tony’s right shoulder, reached down and pulled the sword out of his body.

Tony screamed in unison to Gibbs yelling “NO!”

Blood from the wound sprayed forward as Tony slumped to his right.

Gibbs ran to him as Hector calmly stepped over Tony’s body, bloody sword in his right hand and the scythe in his left. He moved through the kitchen with purpose but looked like a man without a care in the world as he headed out the back door and into the garden.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For MKM1963...enjoy!

Gibbs lay Tony down on his back to examine the wound. There was a lot of blood on both sides of his body but thankfully it wasn’t gushing. If it had been, Gibbs figured Tony would bleed out before help got to them.

He needed to staunch the blood flow. He pulled off his jacket and laid it around the wound, pushing the fabric over both sides and applying pressure.

Tony was unconscious and Gibbs said a silent prayer of thanks for that. If Tony was awake he might panic and it would make what Gibbs was trying to do much more difficult.

Gibbs heard yelling in the backyard but could not make out what was being said. He hoped Mark Jensen was on top of his game. He felt bad not being able to back Jensen but he didn’t dare leave Tony’s side. He was thankful to hear the sirens right out front. Seconds later there were footfalls on the stairs and Gibbs cried out:

“This is NCIS Special Agent Gibbs with wounded Agent Anthony DiNozzo! Officer Mark Jensen needs immediate assistance in the backyard! He is facing Hector Zegarra alone!”

Three Metro officers Gibbs didn’t know cautiously looked inside before two rushed in. The third signaled the emergency personnel and then assisted them into the house. The cop then signaled to two other officers to go around the back. There was also another paramedic team that had arrived but they stayed on the porch to allow the first team to respond.

There was a huge commotion in the backyard but Gibbs blocked it all out.

His focus was only on Tony.

A young paramedic dropped down next to Gibbs and said:

“Hi…name’s Perry…what do we have here?”

“Agent DiNozzo was stabbed with a sword and was pinned to the wall before the perpetrator pulled it out about five minutes ago…”

Perry looked at his partner and said “Scoop and run”.

The other paramedic nodded and lowered the gurney, making adjustments to it as Perry said to Gibbs:

“We do the ABC’s and then get your Agent out of here….”

Gibbs was familiar with the lingo as he watched Perry go through the actions he needed to get Tony stabilized.

Perry checked Tony’s airway (A) making sure it was clear. It was, so he checked to see if Tony was having trouble breathing (B). Tony was breathing on his own so Perry checked Tony’s circulation (C). Tony’s heart was beating but it was irregular. Perry did all of this in less than a minute. Gibbs didn’t even have a chance to question the concerned frown on the paramedics face.

“Alright Agent Gibbs…you keep doing what you’re doing. On the count of three we are going to lift Agent DiNozzo onto the gurney.”

“1…2…3!”

Together the paramedics lifted Tony as Gibbs kept his hands pressed firmly against Tony’s wounds.

Tony groaned but did not open his eyes.

“Hang on Tony! We’re going to get you help.” Gibbs said trying to keep his voice from breaking.

Gibbs wondered if Tony even heard what he had said.

With Tony finally secure and Gibbs still applying pressure at his side, the group made their way down to the awaiting ambulance.

The neighborhood was now swarming with cops and even a third medical team had arrived.

Gibbs stepped up into the ambulance, still holding on to Tony for dear life, when Perry said:

“We can take him from here Agent Gibbs unless you want to come along…”

“Where he goes, I go!” Gibbs snarled as Perry moved to allow Gibbs to sit next to Tony, still applying pressure. Gibbs arms had gone numb and his back and knee were killing him but he weathered it all silently. His only thought was to get Tony to the hospital.

He watched Perry check Tony’s vitals. Perry then placed an oxygen mask over Tony’s face.

“We should be at Bethesda in less than 5 minutes…do you want me to take over for you?”

Gibbs shook his head no. He felt his eyes begin to burn. He tried desperately to stay focused and single minded…Tony was going to get help, he was going to be okay…they were less than 5 minutes out…Tony was going to be okay.

Gibbs simply stared down at Tony as Perry monitored Tony vitals and radioed ahead to give Bethesda the information the triage team would need to get him immediately into surgery.

When Tony coughed, and blood spattered the inside of the oxygen mask, Perry reacted instantly. He removed the bloody mask and discarded it. He checked to make sure Tony’s airway was clear. When Perry was satisfied he placed a new mask over Tony’s mouth and nose.

Gibbs felt ill at ease and his gut was in a knot as he tried to identify what he was feeling.

He finally realized it was something he hadn’t felt in years.

He was absolutely terrified.

He looked at Perry for reassurance and not finding it; he closed his eyes and prayed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ambulance doors burst open to a ready team of emergency personnel.

Gibbs held on tight and moved automatically with the paramedics as the gurney was pushed forward, the wheels dropped, hit the pavement and they were on the move.

The triage team worked frantically, like a swarm of worker bees, each one with a specific job but as equally important as the rest.

Someone finally relieved Gibbs of his job but Gibbs did not move from Tony’s side.

Perry approached from behind and placed a hand on Gibbs shoulder saying:

“They are going to take him into surgery, Agent Gibbs….this is the best team around…if anyone can save Agent DiNozzo it’s them!”

Gibbs nodded his thanks, feeling numb and unsure what he should do.

He was covered in blood and the smell of it was making him sick.

“Wait!” Gibbs said as one of the team began to wheel Tony away.

Gibbs placed his hand over Tony’s heart, leaned down and whispered in his ear:

“Don’t you fucking die on me…you hear me, DiNozzo.”

When Gibbs stood up Tony’s eyes were open and staring at him. Tony’s hand came up and he fought to push the oxygen mask away. He was trying to speak but Gibbs couldn’t understand him.

“Sir! We need to get this man back to surgery!” a nurse snapped at Gibbs.

“I know that!” Gibbs yelled as he moved Tony’s mask to the side and bent down.

Tony’s eyes looked haunted, like he knew his time was up. Before Tony could say anything Gibbs said “You are going to pull through this! THAT is an order Dinozzo!”

Tony tried to smile; his teeth were red with blood. He grabbed Gibbs wrist and with extraordinary strength pulled him forward. They were eye to eye as Tony gasped for breath and struggled to speak.

It took all his strength to say:

“Jethro….I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met.”

Gibbs was so stunned he didn’t respond.

It didn’t matter…..Tony had passed out and the triage team had whisked him away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chip Carter was on his last smoke when he heard the call crackle over his police radio.

“10-33….shots fired, officer needs assistance….421 Orinda Lane….”

‘Spence and Tony’s!’

He flicked the cigarette butt to the ground and crushed it underfoot.

He saw the news crew perk up and begin to chat among themselves.

Being so close to a police car at the perimeter of the church grounds they heard the call come in too.

Chip eyed the news crew with disdain as he radioed for Tipton and Harper to return to the church steps to replace him. He also advised them they would be responsible for returning Joe Alvarez and his wife to the safe house.

Chip made his way into the church to get his partner James Benton. They weren’t on duty to respond to the call and Chip was happy to hear the call back response that backup and medical was on its way, but Carter knew he needed to get there as soon as possible.

As he entered the church he didn’t have far to travel as his partner met him in the vestibule.

“Hey J....I just heard a call that shots were fired at Spence and Tony’s…was probably Jensen who called it in.”

“Mark Jensen? I wondered where he had gone….Tony too…”

Chip and James hurried for the door just as an up roar of voices filled the church.

Chip was sure he heard Linda Spencer shriek.

“What the hell was that?” Chip asked as he and his partner exited and headed for their car.

Chip noticed half of the news crew had packed up and left and he cursed knowing where they were headed.

The media never made it easy to be a cop.

“Tell ya in the car!” James said as he and Chip got into their cruiser and buckled up.

Chip flipped on their emergency lights as James switched on the siren.

They hit the road, driving fast, rushing down the city streets.

James looked at Chip with a shit eating grin and said:

“I was headed your way before you came into the church…”

Chip looked over and seeing his partner’s expression he grinned and said:

“Okay….?” wondering what James was about to say.

“The hypocrisy was getting pretty thick in there….Linda is a fricking drama queen.” James said.

Chip Carter’s brows narrowed as he said sarcastically “Well…duh…why do you think I stationed myself outside? We got Tony in but he was out in less than 20 minutes. He said he was leaving for Spence’s kids. Other than those kids, Tony was the one person that should have been front row center not Linda! Shit J…Tony didn’t even get a chance to say what he wanted to say!”

James chuckled, clearly tickled to have insider information.

Chip was getting irritated as he said:

“So are you going to tell me what that outburst was all about or just keep on grinning like the fucking Cheshire Cat!?”

James beamed at his partner and said:

“My guess is the outburst came just as Sam finished reading Tony’s speech.”


	54. Chapter 54

Gibbs didn’t know how long he had been sitting in the emergency room lobby or how long he had been staring at his bloody hands. After Tony was wheeled away, he took a seat in a hard white chair and zoned out. He knew he should have placed some calls, the team would want to know what happened, but Gibbs couldn’t deal with them at the moment, especially Abby. He couldn’t be strong for her…not right now. He was having a hard enough time keeping his own shit together.

He had heard people around him murmuring about his hands and his appearance. Whispers of who and why and what happened to the man covered in blood.

A pleasant voice brought him around.

“Agent Gibbs?”

Gibbs looked up into a smiling face.

“Yes?” He said, thinking his own voice sounded weird.

“Hello….I’m Leta Jackson….I’m a friend of Perry’s and a Patient Service Specialist here at the hospital….I’m here to help you. Would you mind accompanying me?”

“Perry?” Gibbs asked wondering where he heard that name.

“The paramedic who brought you and Agent DiNozzo to the hospital?”

Gibbs stood as he nodded “Right…Perry…he was good….”

“He is a very caring person.…please…follow me.”

She waved her hand to the right before she led him towards an employee lounge.

Gibbs could tell she was ex-military just watching her walk. He was a highly trained observer and put those skills to use. He indulged in this because it helped focus his mind off of Tony and his possible demise.

African American…25 to 35, 5’6, athletic build, hazel eyes, pretty face, and black corn rowed hair that ended just above her waist. She had it held back in a ponytail. When she turned to look him in the eye he could tell she was kind, intelligent and had the look of someone who had seen a lot of horrible things.

“Marine?” He asked

“Army” she said “Two tours in Iraq.”

He simply nodded.

“Please have a seat.” Leta said pointing out a chair as she headed for the coffeemaker.

She was back in seconds with a steaming mug of black coffee which she set in front of him.

“Thanks” he said appreciatively.

He wrapped his hands around the hot cup letting it warm him.

He wondered when he began to feel so cold.

Leta Jackson sat across from him as he took a sip of coffee.

He looked surprised, it was actually good, and his reaction caused Leta to grin.

“The lounge coffee is always better than the cafeteria.” she said

“Agent Gibbs…one of my many jobs here at the hospital is to gather statements and any physical evidence that may help with a criminal investigation. You and Agent DiNozzo are both NCIS correct?”

“Yes.”

“Perry told me what he was privy too when he arrived at the scene and I have since learned this is a Metro case. Since you are law enforcement I know you will be giving a detailed report to Metro so we can forgo that but I do need to collect your clothes. There is a shower here in the lounge and I have grabbed some extra scrubs for you to change into…would that be okay with you?”

“Thank you…that would be nice…any word on Agent DiNozzo?”

“Not yet…he has been in surgery for about an hour…it looks like it may be a couple more. After you shower and change, I am at liberty to take you back to your home…”

“Can you take me back to the crime scene? My car’s there.”

“I can do that….take your time and leave your soiled clothes in the large evidence bag I placed near the scrubs. …I’ll be right outside at my desk at the nurse’s station. Is there anyone you would like me to call for you?”

“No…I’m good…thanks Leta…I’ll be ready in just a few minutes.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

True to his word, Gibbs was showered and changed in less than 10 minutes.

Leta gave him an approving smile as he approached her wearing sky blue scrubs.

He followed her to the employee parking lot. They found her car and got in.

Gibbs advised Leta of Tony’s address and she entered it into her GPS system.

The two of them rode in silence, the only sound, the robotic voice of the global positioning system advising the driver to take a left or right.

Gibbs usually hated GPS systems but was happy not to have to talk and give directions. He sat back and closed his eyes wondering how Tony was doing. He felt guilty for leaving the hospital but he also knew he needed to find out what happened with Jensen and Zegarra. He needed to call the director and his team…but mostly he needed Tony to be okay. Gibbs had not told Tony he loved him. He had not responded to Tony’s declaration of love.

If Tony died, he would never know how much Gibbs truly loved him.

Gibbs anguished thoughts were interrupted when Leta said softly:

“We’re here Agent Gibbs.”

“It’s Gibbs.”

“Excuse me?”

Gibbs opened his eyes and turned to her saying:

“Just call me Gibbs, Leta…and thank you for everything.”

She smiled at him but before he could exit the passenger side door, she reached out and grabbed his left arm and said:

“Wait.”

He turned back to her with a curious look on his face.

“My second tour in Iraq, the truck I was in ran over an IED. It killed the driver and two other soldiers in the back….”

She lifted her shirt showing him a long scar running vertically on her right side.

“I was impaled on a shard of steel…it cut through me and pinned me in my seat. It took my fellow soldiers close to three hours to cut me out of the wreckage and when they did I had to travel with the metal fragment protruding through my body for another two.”

He started to move his hand forward, to touch her scar, but withdrew quickly. He didn’t know her and it would be inappropriate to touch her without her consent.

She reached for his hand and drew it too her. She pressed his palm into her scar and continued:

“I was conscious the whole time until they put me under. The pain wasn’t bad unless I was jostled and you know riding in military carriers, there was a lot of jostling.”

Gibbs could feel the scar tissue as she pressed his hand more firmly.

He smirked at her as she said:

“I tell you this Gibbs because Agent DiNozzo has sustained the same type of wound. Miraculously mine missed all internal organs. It appears Agent Di…”

“Tony…his name is Tony.”

Grinning she said “Tony has the exact wound...and two of the doctors that are working on him worked on me…have faith Gibbs….Tony should be fine.”

Gibbs felt comforted and a feeling of warmth spread throughout his body.

“Thank you, Leta, for sharing that with me.”

She released his hand and he pulled it away as she lowered her shirt.

“Can I ask you something?” Gibbs asked

“Of course!” She replied

“How long was your down time?”

She gave it some thought before she said:

“I was lucky I didn’t get an infection so I was actually out of the hospital in five days. I was sent back to the states where I got a lot of rest, good food and a little physical therapy. It helped to have friends and family around….I have a very attentive momma and she was by my side the whole way!”

Gibbs chuckled then asked “How long have you been at Bethesda?”

“I started at Bethesda about six weeks after I got home. After a year, my service was over with the Army, so I retired from there but stayed on at the hospital. I like my job…it lets me help good people like you and Tony.”

Gibbs put out his hand, Leta took it and they shook.

Gibbs got out but before he closed the door Leta said:

“I am handling all of the paperwork for Tony, Gibbs…you are listed as next of kin and you have durable power of attorney for anything medical or personal…did you know that?”

“I knew about the medical…but personal? What does that entail?”

"You will basically be acting on Tony’s behalf for anything and everything it seems, as long as he can’t do it himself.”

“When was that done?”

“Looking at Tony’s records he has spent a lot of time at Bethesda…”

Gibbs snorted saying “That is an understatement.”

Leta laughed before she continued “I’m actually surprised I have never met him before. Anyway… a lawyer named Steve Adler recently faxed over power of attorney documents changing them from Riley Spencer to you. They are very detailed and actually contain more information than is usually submitted to a hospital. From what I could see it was done directly at Tony’s request less than a week ago.”

She withheld the information that Tony had requested to be cremated and his ashes be interred with Riley Spencer upon his death. She figured any mention of Tony dying was not something Gibbs needed to be reminded of at the moment.

Gibbs made a mental note to contact Steve as soon as possible. He needed to tell him about Tony anyway-something he was not looking forward too.

“I’ll be back to the hospital as soon as I can, Leta…will you call me when Tony’s out of surgery?”

She handed him her card after scrawling something on the back.

“You know I will Gibbs….I added my personal cell number on there for you…call me if you need anything.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs and Leta exchanged a wave as she drove away and he turned to take in everything that was happening at Tony’s house.

The yellow crime scene tape was unsettling enough but seeing the coroner’s wagon in the driveway behind Tony’s car was very disturbing.

Gibbs wondered who and how many were dead.

He noticed Officer Benton talking to a small group of people who looked like media. It appeared he was trying to answer questions but the media folk didn’t seem to like his responses.

“Great...” Gibbs thought as he headed towards the house. He noticed the outline of the body they had removed near Tony’s stairs. The only thing that remained of Carlito Esteban was a large pool of blood.

Officer Chip Carter was holding the door open for the crime scene technicians. He did a double take seeing Gibbs approaching wearing scrubs. Chip thought about teasing Gibbs but he didn’t.

“Hey Gibbs” he said “Tony okay?”

“He’s in surgery…what happened, Chip?”

“Zegarra’s dead…Mark Jensen isn’t expected to make it. From what I hear they got him out of here about fifteen minutes after Tony was removed from the scene. The first responders said they entered the backyard and found Zegarra on his stomach and Jensen was over him, gun drawn. Jensen had shot Zegarra three times before he went down but…he wasn’t dead.”

Gibbs cringed hearing that.

“Jensen was distracted when backup arrived. He was advised to back off but he flipped Zegarra over…. I guess to make sure the guy was dead…Zegarra whipped around with that damn scythe…the blade sliced Mark open at the gut just before Zegarra finally took his last breath. They said Zegarra died with a wicked, satisfied grin on his face…fucking bastard!”

“Mark at Bethesda?”

Chip nodded then said “I can take your statement, Gibbs….I’m sure you want to get back to Tony. Benton’s trying to keep the media wolves at bay before Pollard makes an official announcement. When J and I got here it was a fricking three ring media circus….Pollard’s gonna be pissed.”

Gibbs agreed and the two men sat on Tony’s porch. Gibbs gave Chip a rundown of what had happened. Chip documented everything Gibbs said and then advised him the crime scene techs had picked up Gibbs sig and it was taken into evidence. Gibbs nodded…he knew the routine.

Gibbs noticed the media had left and James Benton was walking towards them as the Coroner’s wagon backed up and drove away. As James joined them he said “Gibbs….how’s Tony?”

“Still in surgery.” Gibbs replied.

Benton’s expression was one of deep sadness as he said “I hope everything goes well for him…this whole situation has been a complete cluster fuck.”

Gibbs had a feeling Benton meant more than this latest incident but he said nothing.

Turning to Chip, Benton asked “Ready to go? Pollard’s expecting us to debrief him before this hits the 6 o’clock news.”

“Yeah…let’s go. Gibbs do you need anything before we take off?”

“No…I’m good. I’m just going to collect a few things Tony left behind then head home to change, make some calls and get back to the hospital. If you guys need me give me a call…I’ll keep you posted on Tony’s condition.”

“Sounds good” Chip said “I’ll be heading over to the hospital to check on Mark in a few hours….I’ll see you there.”

Benton and Carter left Gibbs standing alone on the porch.

When the cruiser was out of sight Gibbs took a deep breath and entered the house.

The house looked trashed and it smelled of blood and chemicals. The section of wall Tony had been pinned to had been cut out and removed for evidence. The spray of Tony’s blood was spattered on the floor and wall. The pool of blood had coagulated where Gibbs had laid Tony down. Bloody footprints were everywhere….on the rug, in the kitchen, up the stairs.

Most people thought the Police cleaned up in the aftermath of a heinous crime but the reality was they usually left it more of a mess. It was up to the owners to take care of the clean-up.

Gibbs couldn’t stand being there so he moved quickly to get what he was after and get out.

He saw Tony’s suit jacket hanging on a chair in the kitchen. He would grab that on the way out.

Tony had changed so Gibbs went upstairs to the master bedroom. He found Tony’s gun, phone, wallet and badge in his slacks pocket and set them aside. He rolled the pants, with the shirt and tie inside, all the while feeling pissed. He was angry that Tony had not been concerned enough for his own safety to make sure he was armed while alone at the house.

It had been less than seven days ago that he’d been attacked downstairs for the first time.

Gibbs sat down on the bed and thought about all that had happened in just seven days.

He decided that if Tony survived this (and he better survive god dammit!) he was going to get Tony out of DC and help him in his recovery. It would also give them a chance to be together- away from work, away from everyone and everything.

Planning this would keep his mind busy. Plus it gave him hope and something to look forward too. Operation Woo DiNozzo had had a setback but now that the path was clear, Tony had made his feelings known, Gibbs was ready to proceed.

Gibbs only saw one obstacle.

Tony better not die.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs looked in the closet of the master bedroom and found an empty garbage sack they had not used when packing up Tony’s clothes. He grabbed it and stuffed it with everything but Tony’s gun. He placed Tony’s Sig in his own waistband and looked around the room one last time. Before he left he felt drawn to the window.

He looked down into the garden and saw the outline of where Zegarra’s body had ended up and a lot of blood near that spot. The second medical crew would have taken Jensen away without taking time to mark where he had fallen-for obvious reasons-but the amount of blood gave the location away.

Gibbs wondered if Jensen was still alive. He didn’t trust Mark Jensen but he would thank the man for protecting Tony. He owed him that.

The red rose heart caught his eye. It was the one beautiful thing amongst all the gore and destruction. Gibbs knew Tony loved Spence with everything he had. Gibbs wondered what Tony would have said at the memorial if he had taken the opportunity to speak.

Gibbs hoped he had a chance to ask Tony what had happened to make him leave. Gibbs knew no matter what happened in their future, Spence would forever be an important and influential part of Tony’s life. Gibbs would always want Tony to remember the love he had.

Gibbs loved Spence as well but felt guilty for his feelings of happiness. He now had a second chance at love and a life with Tony and he knew the cost came at a very high price.

Gibbs closed his eyes and said “I’m sorry Spence…sorry that you are gone too soon and I’m sorry about feeling hap…”

Gibbs didn’t finish his sentence because he felt a hand on his shoulder and it gave him an affectionate squeeze.

Startled, Gibbs turned in one quick motion, grabbing the gun at his waistband and bringing it around to point at the person behind him.

But there was no one there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Not much unnerved Leroy Jethro Gibbs but the “phantom hand” had him scrambling.

He grabbed the garbage sack and darted for the stairs.

When he made it downstairs he snatched Tony’s jacket from the kitchen chair and ran out the front door and headed to his car.

He threw the bag in the back seat and jumped in behind the wheel. As he fumbled to put the key in the ignition his inner Devil voice asked:

“You a fucking pansy, marine?”

Gibbs ignored his inner demon, realizing he was breathing hard, he worked to calm himself.

Gibbs stared at the house and began to laugh. He was scared…fucking scared…and there was only one thing he could do about it…he got out of the car and headed back to the house.

He hadn’t even closed the door behind him and he had left several lights on.

He had to admit he had been frightened but the more he thought about it the “hand” wasn’t threatening it was actually…comforting?

He focused on getting inside, turning off lights and locking doors behind him.

Before he left, he thought of the red rose heart still lying in the backyard.

He felt a need to remove it, to save it and preserve it for Tony.

He went to the side of the house and made his way into the backyard.

He grabbed the floral heart and made a beeline back to his car.

He was glad to be alone.

He didn’t have the nerve to look up at the second story window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs made it to his home in record time.

He grabbed the heart and the bag of Tony’s stuff and headed inside.

He pulled Tony’s wallet and phone out of the bag and set the rest aside. He then took the heart down into the basement and set it out to dry. Gibbs was still in awe of the single red rose taken from the vase Linda had destroyed. It still hung from the ceiling and was as fresh as the day he placed it there. He could not explain it but after the incident with the phantom hand there was a lot he couldn’t explain.

He dismissed it all having much to do. He headed upstairs, put on a pot of coffee, got changed and with a cup of steaming caffeine in hand he sat at his kitchen table to place his calls.

He checked first with the hospital…no word yet, Tony was still in surgery. Gibbs asked about Mark Jensen and was told he was also in surgery.

Gibbs called the Director to give an update to what had transpired. Morrow was already in the loop and had advised Balboa that Zegarra was dead. Morrow had not mentioned Tony since he figured Gibbs would want to break the news to his team. Gibbs appreciated that and was pleased when Morrow gave him the okay to take as much time off as he wanted or needed.

“That goes for DiNozzo too Gibbs…between the two of you, you have accumulated enough sick, comp, vacation and overtime to be gone six months!”

Gibbs called Ducky next and told him everything. He asked Ducky to break the news to the team and advise them he would be back at the hospital within the hour if they wanted to join him.

Ducky agreed and told Gibbs he would contact a colleague of his at Bethesda to see if he could get information on Tony’s progress.

“Call me if I can do anything else, Jethro….you know I will do anything I can to help!”

“I know Duck….thank you for always being there.”

Gibbs heard Ducky sigh before he said “See you within the hour, Jethro.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs called Steve Adler and got his voice mail.

Gibbs chose not to leave a message. He would call Steve back in a few hours.

He poured another cup of coffee and sat down to think about where he would like to take Tony when he was out of the hospital and in his recovery phase.

It had to be out of DC but within a few hours drive to Bethesda. It had to be secluded but close to a town. The perfect place came to mind. He just needed to get the okay to use it.

Gibbs scrolled through his phone contacts and when he found the number he needed he hit send.

“Hello” a gruff and grumpy male voice huffed into the phone.

Gibbs laughed before saying “Hello Major”

“Gunny! Hell’s fire….how the hell are ya son?”

“I’m good sir…how are you and Betsy?”

“Me and my best gal are doing fine! Loving retirement….you still at NCIS?”

“I am…..”

“This isn’t a social call is it, Jethro?”

Gibbs sighed hoping his friend and mentor didn’t think less of him as he said:

“No Major….the reason I’m calling is I was wondering if you still own the house at Maryland Heights?”

“Sure do….you finally ready to spend some time there, Jethro?”

“If you don’t mind…”

“Jethro! You practically built the place single handedly, son….the spare key is in the same place we hid it all those years ago. You’ll have to air the place out but stay as long as you’d like. I’ll make a call and get the power and water turned back on.”

“Thanks Major…hope to see you and Betsy sometime soon.”

The Major chuckled and said “Don’t be a stranger Jethro...all the best son!”

Gibbs hung up feeling good about his plan.

He grabbed his jacket, grabbed a mug of coffee and headed back to the hospital.

Gibbs had done his part.

Now Tony needed to do his…he needed to live.


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peeps...try as I might (5 times grrrr) to get this next chapter posted as an easy read it just would not cooperate. I am sorry this is going to be difficult on the eyes but this is the last chapter I am going to post today. I will try to correct it later but figured you'd like to see the continuing drama....thanks for reading and commenting...and all the kudos of course.

Gibbs sat back in the master bedroom’s comfortable recliner and put his feet up. It was late afternoon and the house was finally quiet. The flurry of activity had ceased about an hour ago and Gibbs had to admit he was exhausted.  
He nestled down into the chair, took a sip of the bourbon he had poured himself after Abby and Ducky left, and watched Tony sleep.  
It had been three weeks to get to this point and Gibbs had been running ragged.  
Tony had survived the surgery but the infection he developed almost did him in.  
‘Nothing is ever easy for you’ Gibbs thought as he watched Tony’s chest rise and fall.  
Gibbs was pleased to see Tony no longer looked like the pale corpse he had presented that first week after his surgery. To fight the infection Tony’s doctor had placed him in a medically induced coma and seeing Tony so still for days on end had freaked Gibbs out most of all.  
Even though the infection had finally been eradicated, and the medical staff had weaned him off the drugs for the past few days, Tony had still been out of it on the drive to Maryland Heights. Ducky and Abby had been waiting for them when Gibbs and the hospital transport vehicle delivered Tony to the house. Ducky had helped Gibbs get Tony settled and after a quick check-up he smiled at Gibbs and nodded his approval.  
Ducky had assured Gibbs that Tony would be fine.  
Dr. Mallard had been very pleased with Gibbs plan to isolate Tony in a way he could heal properly without the stress that staying in DC would most likely cause. The drama that centered around Tony had been out of control and both Ducky and Gibbs were happy Tony’s condition had him completely unaware.  
Time to clue Tony in to all the events he missed would come later.  
Gibbs was looking forward to spending time with Tony, helping him to recover and to possibly explore a relationship between them, but for now they both needed to rest.

Gibbs placed his glass on the side table and lay back to try and catch a nap.  
Sleep came slowly, as he stared up at the ceiling and gave a quiet thanks to the powers that be.  
Tony was expected to make a full recovery and his plan to get Tony to Maryland Heights had been accomplished.  
Gibbs was also thankful he had made it through the last three weeks with his sanity intact.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Three Weeks Earlier  
When Gibbs arrived back at the hospital his team was already there.  
McGee was holding Abby while she cried into his shoulder.  
Her back was to Gibbs and he was relieved that McGee had the situation in hand.  
Gibbs loved Abby with all his heart but she got too emotional, especially when anything happened to Tony. Gibbs always appeared to be a capable man who took care of business and got what needed to be done, done.  
But at that moment, Gibbs felt like he was on the verge of a complete emotional meltdown.  
Kate approached him, her expression grim.  
“Ducky here?” he asked before she could speak.  
“He’s checking with Tony’s surgeon right now….what happened, Gibbs? Ducky was pretty vague” She asked.  
“I’ll tell you when we are all together.”  
His phone rang and he answered “Yeah, Gibbs”.  
It was Leta Jackson.  
“Hey Gibbs…Tony is out of surgery and being transferred to ICU. You will be able to see him in about 30 minutes.”  
“Is he okay?” Gibbs asked in almost a whisper.  
He ignored Kate’s expression of shock.  
He knew she was not use to seeing him anywhere close to fragile.  
“He is as we speak but his doctor will fill you in. I am heading home for the night…call my cell if you need to reach me.”  
“Thank you Leta” He said before disconnecting the call.  
Gibbs had his eyes closed and he had been holding his breath.  
He could only imagine Kate’s expression as she watched him.  
He needed to corral his emotions.  
He needed to suck it up.  
His team couldn’t see him weakened by his worry for Tony.  
He pulled deep from his internal reservoir of “bastard” as he opened his eyes and glared at his team snapping:  
“DiNozzo’s out of surgery….he’s in ICU, let’s go!”  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Ducky, along with Tony’s surgeon, met them at the front of the intensive care unit.  
Ducky introduced the surgeon who quickly assured Gibbs and his team that Tony made it through surgery without issue. He had lost a lot of blood but the wound had thankfully missed any vital organs.  
“The only thing that could go wrong is if Tony develops an infection…that is my only worry.”  
As the surgeon walked away, Gibbs bit his lip and silently cursed the doctor for saying his concerns out loud.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Before Gibbs and his team had a chance to visit with Tony, he filled them in.  
Gibbs explained everything that had happened Tuesday morning, starting when Tony and James Spencer met Gibbs for coffee up until Tony was brought into emergency.  
He gave only pertinent information about his return to the crime scene before he arrived back to the hospital.  
Abby complained Gibbs had waited a long time before calling her or the team.  
He in turn yelled at her that he was “covered in Tony’s blood and her concern, or that of the team, was not a major priority at that moment” causing her to shut up instantly.  
She looked shell shocked and hurt but she remained silent and at the moment that was all Gibbs wanted from her. He would make it up to her somehow…he always did.  
The subject of work came up and Gibbs explained he was on leave until further notice.  
He had called the Director who suggested that McGee and Kate should continue to work with Balboa until Gibbs and Tony returned. Since Zegarra was dead there wouldn’t be a trial but everything still needed to be documented and reports filed.  
When they were finally able to visit Tony, only one person was allowed at a time and for no more than five minutes.  
Gibbs knew he would be there until Tony woke up so he let Abby go first, then Kate, McGee and finally Ducky. Gibbs was not comforted as each member of his team exited the ICU like they were in mourning. For her part, Abby kept it together but she clung to Gibbs and he hugged her back just as tightly.  
When they were all together again Gibbs told them to go home and get some rest.  
He promised to keep them posted when he had something to report.  
Before Ducky left, he pulled some strings and got the okay for Gibbs to stay by Tony’s side in ICU.  
About three hours after the team left, Tony woke up but he was groggy and disoriented.  
“B..oss?” Tony asked as he squinted up at Gibbs.  
“Hey Tony” Gibbs said, relieved, as he leaned in so Tony could see him better “How are you feeling?”  
“Uh…” Tony said as his eyes darted around trying to focus “Am I in the hospital?”  
“Yes” Gibbs confirmed “Do you remember what happened?”  
Tony looked deep in thought for a few moments then shook his head no.  
He immediately gasped at the pain that slight action caused him.  
Gibbs placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder saying “How can I help you?”  
Tony smiled weakly as he tried to clear his throat.  
“Thirsty” he said just before Gibbs took action to help him sip some water.  
Tony leaned back saying “Thanks Boss” before he closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.  
Gibbs was thankful for the brief exchange but when he reached out a hand to brush strands of Tony’s hair off his forehead a sick feeling hit the pit of his stomach.  
Tony’s skin felt like it was on fire.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Within 24 hours of the surgery Tony’s body was burning up.  
He had developed a serious infection.  
Gibbs held a constant vigil for him until Abby and Ducky intervened early Thursday morning.  
Gibbs had been at the hospital since Tuesday afternoon without a break.  
He knew he must look like hell and needed a shower but he didn’t want to leave Tony for a second. Tony had not awoken since those first few hours after the surgery and Gibbs wouldn’t take a chance of Tony dying without being there for him, if and when, the time came.  
He vaguely remembered Chip Carter stopping by Tuesday night to let Gibbs know Mark Jensen was out of surgery but was in a coma. Chip shared with Gibbs his concern that Jensen didn’t have any family and that the police department was in the process of determining if Jensen had a will or power of attorney designation. Until then Chip was unable to get exact medical information on what was happening with Mark. Chip told Gibbs he’d be in touch in a few days when they knew more.  
Gibbs had listened closely but the information washed over him.  
He was pleased to know Zegarra had not killed Mark Jensen, but Gibbs’s only concern at the moment was for Tony.  
All day Wednesday, Gibbs kept up his watch, pleased when Leta dropped by every few hours with a cup of coffee from the employee lounge.  
Wednesday night Gibbs took a moment to listen to messages left on Tony’s phone from Steve Adler. The first message Steve sounded irritated, asking Tony why he missed the appointment with the attorney on Wednesday morning. The second message was of Steve absolutely terrified saying he saw Tony’s house on ZNN and asking what the hell was going on.  
Gibbs chastised himself for not calling Steve back on Tuesday. He had been distracted with everything that was going on and simply forgot.  
Gibbs couldn’t make calls from Tony’s room so he stepped out into the hall making sure he could see Tony from the hallway.  
Steve answered on the second ring.  
“Tony?”  
“Hey Steve, its Gibbs...Tony’s in the hosp…”  
“I know…I got ahold of Abby earlier today. How is Tony doing?”  
“He made it through surgery but he has an infection and it’s bad. The doctors are considering what to do next.”  
Steve was silent but Gibbs could practically feel the wheels of worry spinning in Steve’s brain.  
“I wish I could be there but I’m in the middle of a big trial…will you keep me posted on Tony’s condition. I’ll make it down there as soon as I can.”  
“Of course…if I don’t call you, Abby will.”  
Steve sighed heavily and said:  
“Okay…Gibbs, I don’t know how much Tony told you about his will and the power of attorney we put together when I was there, but you are his choice of executor.”  
“I know but Tony is not going to die Steve.”  
“I know…at least I pray Tony will pull through…but are you prepared to act on his behalf for everything until he can do it himself…because if you can’t or won’t it will have to wait until I have the time to get down there…”  
“Yes…I am prepared to do whatever I have to do on Tony’s behalf Steve.” Gibbs said as a matter of fact.  
“Good…then you have an appointment with Spence’s Attorney on Monday morning at 9am…don’t be late.”  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Gibbs finally left the hospital early Thursday afternoon after Abby and Ducky convinced him he needed to go. Ducky explained that Tony’s doctors had agreed it would be best to place Tony in a coma for the greatest chance of recovery. Gibbs didn’t like it but he trusted Ducky.  
When Ducky confirmed he was in agreement with the decision Gibbs acquiesced.  
Gibbs stayed by Tony’s side until the procedure was complete.  
Gibbs knew when he left Tony’s room there was no chance Tony would be waking anytime soon. He convinced himself to have faith Tony was going to make it so he needed to get things in order for Tony’s recovery.  
Ducky and Abby stayed with Tony for a while, agreeing to meet Gibbs at the Old Ebbitt Grill at 6pm.  
Gibbs had arrived early so while he waited he nursed a glass of bourbon and watched the crowd.  
Gibbs recalled the night he and Tony had been there…not even a week ago…so much had happened since then.  
The large plasma screen over the bar drew his attention. The reporter who had interviewed Linda just a few days ago was on with a follow up editorial. As she spoke there were photos of the church where Spence’s service was held then photos of Spence and Tony’s house showing crime scene tape.  
Gibbs moved from his table to the bar asking the bartender to turn up the volume.  
Gibbs was shocked as he heard the story unfold.  
“….Linda Marshall Spencer could not be reached for comment but this reporter has learned the service to memorialize her husband had turned into quite a spectacle. Linda Marshall and Officer Spencer had actually been divorced for several years, which goes against my first report where Ms. Marshall lead me to believe she was widowed and deeply affected by her husband’s death. I do not appreciate being duped nor do I think the taxpayers in the DC area appreciate taxpayer dollars being spent for a faux service. This is not to lesson Officer Spencer’s sacrifice-his loss has been great and he should be honored…”  
Gibbs could not believe how snarky the reporter appeared. He could tell she was pissed at Linda…any professionalism she may have had went out the window. Her claws were out and she was looking for blood as she continued:  
“……It was brought to my attention that during the service Riley Spencer’s son read a letter addressed to his father, written by his father’s lover, someone named Toni. Who this woman is remains a mystery but it is believed she was involved with Officer Spencer for a number of years and was living with him at the house on Orinda Ave where a violent altercation took place later that afternoon. We at ZNN have learned the gang members who died at the scene were engaged in a vendetta against Officer Spencer. The DC Metro officer involved in the shooting at Officer Spencer’s home is fighting for his life; his name has not been released...”  
Gibbs couldn’t listen to any more. He paid for his drink and left the bar. He called Abby and canceled their dinner plans, actually apologizing for the abrupt brush off.  
He drove around in a daze wondering how the media always seem to get everything wrong.  
He laughed at the notion the reporter thought Tony was a woman. That was fine by him. Tony didn’t need to be badgered about his relationship with Spence. Gibbs hoped the reporter never found out the truth. He wondered how she found out anything that had transpired in the service in the first place. She must have paid an insider for information.  
He remembered Carter and Benton had mentioned debriefing Chief Pollard before the 6 o’clock news on Tuesday but Gibbs had no idea what was even said that night or if it was even addressed.  
He thought about Tony’s letter being read by one of Spence’s sons. He wondered which one read it and why? Gibbs thought about calling Jimmy Spencer to get more information but that thought quickly slipped away. He needed to make sure Tony survived…that would be his one focus.  
Gibbs could have no idea how crazy things were about to get.


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so I am a lying liar who lies...HERE is the last chapter of the day.

It was close to midnight when Gibbs finally made it home.

He carried in a large manila envelope he had been given earlier that evening, throwing it down on his coffee table as he flung his tired body onto his couch not even bothering to take off his shoes or get undressed.

He was almost too tired to sleep but he forced himself to close his eyes.

That didn’t stop his mind from racing and replaying the conversation he had about an hour ago.

Having no real plan after he abruptly left the Old Ebbitt Grill, Gibbs eventually made his way back to the hospital to spend a few more hours with Tony. Nothing had changed. Tony still looked like death warmed over but the night nurse had assured Gibbs the antibiotics were doing their job. She checked on him periodically along with her patient. When she caught him dozing she nudged him awake, told him to keep the faith and go home and get some rest.

After the nurse left, Gibbs bent down and kissed Tony on his forehead whispering:

“I’ll be back tomorrow…you rest and get well for me, Tony, THAT is an order!”

Gibbs could swear he saw movement flicker under Tony’s eyelids. He stared down into Tony’s pale face hoping to see it again. When it didn’t happen, Gibbs figured he imagined it. With a heavy sigh he caressed Tony’s cheek then made his way to the door.

Heading out, Gibbs was surprised to find Chip Carter sitting across from ICU.

Carter rose from his chair as Gibbs exited Tony’s room.

Chip was out of uniform, dressed casually in faded blue jeans and a tan T-shirt.

He looked exhausted as he nodded his head and said in greeting:

“Gibbs…”

Carter’s voice inflection made Gibbs wonder if something had happened to Mark Jensen.

“Chip….what are you doing here? Is Mark alright?”

Chip shook his head no as he asked “How’s Tony?”

“Still the same…induced coma to fight the infection. His fever is down a bit...were you waiting for me?”

Chip shook his head in the affirmative as he bent down and picked up a large envelope from the chair next to where he had previously been seated.

He handed it to Gibbs who took it, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“What’s this?” Gibbs asked, turning the envelope over.

It was thick and although it was sealed, Gibbs could feel a lump down in the bottom corner that felt like a set of keys. Moving the envelope around, he felt other items-a phone and perhaps a wallet.

He looked up from his brief inspection to shoot Carter a quizzical look.

“We couldn’t find next of kin for Jensen so Chief Pollard stepped in and spoke with the doctors here at Bethesda. At this point Mark is on life support…there is some brain activity but he is currently unable to breathe on his own. Pollard found out Jensen has legal coverage as part of his benefits package. The chief assigned me to call the legal department on Mark’s behalf….”

“Okay” Gibbs said “So…what’s inside?”

“Mark’s last will and testament, durable power of attorney for both medical and financial decisions, his apartment keys and his wallet…his phone is in there as well but the battery is dead. I checked it for friends and family but there is absolutely no information stored on it…no photos, no contacts…nothing, which I thought was kinda weird..…oh, and his car was towed from the crime scene to the yard at Metro. We’ll keep it safe there until we hear otherwise.”

“Hear from whom?” Gibbs asked

“That’s the interesting part Gibbs…sometime on Monday Mark contacted the legal department and submitted changes to his file. He registered with the legal department six years ago and had an assigned Attorney to handle everything if he became incapacitated or died. He had bequeathed his entire estate to the Boy’s Town in Nebraska but Monday he changed all of it. He has a new executor and beneficiary….”

Gibbs looked down at the envelope again as Chip Carter continued:

“Tony is the person Jensen chose to act on his behalf for medical and financial decisions. He also left Tony everything…his car, his bank and retirement accounts, his townhouse….”

Gibbs head shot up.

“Tony?!” he asked sounding stunned “Why Tony?”

Chip Carter shrugged and said:

“No clue…I even asked around the station and no one seems to have any information about Mark. He was a likable enough guy and you could always trust him to have your back…he’s a good cop and does an exceptional job but he wasn’t close to anyone. Hell he hasn’t had a partner since the shootout at the wall a few years back. I placed a call to Don Simmons, the partner he saved, and even he couldn’t tell me much about Mark other than they had been partners for two years. Simmons said Jensen was great on the job but was a pretty private person. I’m finding he is more of an enigma.”

The two men stood in silence for a few minutes until Carter said:

“Spence always thought Mark had an interest in Tony…maybe since Spence is out of the picture Mark has his sights…..” Chip stopped suddenly with a grimace on his face before he said “….nah…forget I mentioned that…I’m just tired.”

Gibbs knew Mark was very interested in Tony but he refrained from validating this fact.

Gibbs wondered if Mark had set a plan in motion, much like Gibbs “Operation: Woo DiNozzo”. Gibbs wondered what may have happened Sunday night when Mark stepped in as Tony’s “bodyguard”. Gibbs felt a rush of heat to his face as a wave of possessiveness and jealousy swept over him. He fought to keep his anger from being detected.

“So why give this to me Chip?” Gibbs asked

“Well…you are acting on Tony’s behalf right? His power of Attorney…”

Gibbs eyes darkened as the realization hit him.

Since Tony was unable to act for Mark Jensen, Gibbs would have to step up and fill in for Tony.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As sleep began to claim him, Gibbs wondered what he would have to do.

Why had Jensen changed his will? Why Tony? Did Tony have any knowledge of this?

Gibbs didn’t get it.

He decided he’d worry about it in the morning.

He couldn’t fight the sandman anymore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He was a rumpled mess as he rolled off the couch to finally remove his shoes and socks.

The sun was just making an appearance as he padded into the kitchen to put on a pot of dark roast.

As it brewed, he called the hospital and was happy to hear things were looking up. Tony’s fever was down and his body was responding well to the drugs fighting the infection.

Gibbs breathed out his relief as he made his way upstairs.

He inspected the master bedroom and was very pleased to see the remodel was coming along nicely. The night sky shower was taking shape and Gibbs was excited at the prospect of presenting Tony with his dream shower. Gibbs hoped his fantasy didn’t turn into a nightmare.

He refused to give it any more thought as he headed to what had been Kelly’s bathroom to quickly shower and dress.

He then made his way downstairs, poured himself a cup of hot coffee and sat down on his couch. He took a sip and placed the mug down on the table as he picked up the envelope. He undid the seal on the back and pulled out the documents. He turned it over and watched as a set of keys, a leather wallet, and cell phone dropped onto the table.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Everything Chip said was in the envelope was indeed there. Gibbs spent about twenty minutes going over the paperwork then set it down and picked up Mark’s wallet.

It was basic black leather, slightly worn and held a minimal amount of items-a driver’s license, a Metro ID, one major credit card, a debit card and a spare key that looked like it was to an automobile.

He opened the billfold and pulled out the paper currency.

He counted out eighty two dollars in cash and placed it back inside.

There were no photos or receipts.

The item was tidy and well organized.

Gibbs wondered if he would find Jensen’s home to be the same.

He had realized he would need to make a trip to Jensen’s place the minute he sat down on the couch. He hated having to take time out of his day to be away from Tony but Jensen had been there trying to save Tony. Gibbs felt he at least owed it to Jensen to handle things for him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark Jensen’s townhouse was located right off of Embassy row near DuPont Circle.

Gibbs almost missed it as he drove by.

The townhouse was rather small in comparison to the large estates surrounding it.

The outside was well maintained-the lawn and hedges appeared professionally manicured.

This area showcased some of the most expensive property in DC and as Gibbs parked and got out of his car, he wondered how a DC cops salary paid for it.

The thought Mark may have inherited it crossed his mind but Mark didn’t have any family.

Gibbs pulled out his phone and called McGee.

Providing McGee with the address, he asked his youngest Agent to get back to him later that night with a list of property owners going back the past 50 years.

Gibbs pocketed his phone and finally finding the right key he unlocked the townhouse door and stepped inside.

The townhouse was just like the wallet-organized and tidy.

Gibbs scanned the large living room then the small kitchen off to the right.

The place was sparse, holding only a few items of furniture in the room-a single recliner with a table holding a lap top off to the side with a free standing lamp and a black card table with one chair tucked up under it close to the kitchen.

The single chair spoke volumes.

It appeared Jensen never had quests.

The kitchen was all white and was so clean it appeared antiseptic.

Gibbs heaved out a heavy breath not relishing having to search Mark’s home but it was necessary to see if there was any additional information to help Gibbs with whatever task he would need to perform on Jensen’s behalf.

Opening various drawers and cupboards Gibbs found most of them to be empty.

Jensen had a single setting of cutlery and one plate, bowl, glass and mug. Gibbs could appreciate living simply but Jensen’s lack of a coffee maker made him even more suspicious of the man. When he opened the fridge and found a variety of bottled beer Gibbs relaxed a bit.

He didn’t trust a person who lacked vice.

He wandered down a small hallway off the kitchen, past a large open closet that held a washer and dryer, pausing momentarily to look into the hall bathroom.

Nothing appeared out of order so he moved on quickly arriving at the only bedroom.

Looking around Gibbs wondered if the guy had OCD the way everything was in its place and there was not a speck of dust to be found.

The full sized bed was made in a military fashion.

Gibbs remembered Jensen grew up at Boy’s Town and the daily discipline of making a bed and picking up after himself must have left a lifelong impression on him.

Gibbs could understand that, he still had a few Marine quirks that he had tried to break but was unsuccessful.

Gibbs moved around the room first opening the closet.

It was neatly organized- work uniforms on one side, civilian clothes on the other.

There were a few pairs of shoes on a shelf above the clothes and a large cardboard box to the side.

Gibbs pulled the box down and setting it on the bed he removed the lid to see what was inside. The box was full of trophies for kick boxing and karate tournaments. It also held various medals awarded for his acts of bravery-from the Chief of Police, from the Mayor, one even from the White House.

As he put all the items back into the box and returned it to the shelf he thought about his behavior towards Jensen.

He had acted like a jealous dick.

Jensen lived simply and appeared to be a humble man. So what if he had no family and few people who really knew him. The man was dedicated to his job and could be counted on to do it well-all things Gibbs could closely identify with.

Gibbs rummaged through the dresser but it gave nothing away.

Gibbs sat on the bed next to the night stand and thought about what was missing.

Jensen did not have a television. There were no books, or photos, no CDs or DVDs.

Gibbs looked at the night stand and saw only a digital clock…not even a radio.

Gibbs stood to leave but before he did he looked under the bed and then lifted the mattress to see if it held any secrets.

Nothing.

Gibbs straightened the comforter and with his hands on his hips looked around in defeat.

He was about to leave when it dawned on him he had not checked the night stand.

He opened the only drawer and found a small hand gun and a box of bullets.

It didn’t surprise him-almost everyone he knew that was a cop or military had a gun near their bed.

Gibbs was about to close it when he realized the depth of the drawer did not match the length and width.

He removed the gun and ran his hand along the wood.

He felt it give.

He pulled the drawer all the way out and set it on the bed.

Gibbs pushed against the plywood lining until an edge popped up and he was able to remove the false bottom.

The true bottom of the drawer was now exposed and Gibbs was presented with a black leather photo album.

His gut began to churn and the hair on the back of his head stood on end as he sat on the bed and transferred the album from the drawer to his lap.

He hesitated for just a moment before he opened it to the first page.

He gasped at the image he saw-a nude young man lying on a bed.

He appeared to be sleeping but he could also be dead.

It was hard to tell.

Gibbs turned the next page and then the next…over and over…bile rising from his stomach to his throat.

Every page displayed a different man.

Every one of them was naked and all appeared to be asleep.

Gibbs hand shook as he made it to the last page.

He had a feeling he knew what to expect but he was still shocked when he saw it.

Tony was lying on his own bed. He was nude, completely exposed and he was asleep.

Below the photo, written with a black marker were the words:

You are the one

Gibbs slammed the book closed and screamed at the top of his lungs:

“Son of a bitch!”

Gibbs stood and threw the album on the bed like it might burn his hands if he held it any longer.

He paced around spewing profanities as he ran his hands over his head trying to think what he should do next. He knew one thing and that was if Mark Jensen wasn’t already in a hospital bed fighting for his life Gibbs would track him down and end him.

He fought to control his breathing as he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial #5.

“Tobias!” He shouted when his old friend answered his phone “I need your help! Will you meet me at my house in half an hour? Thanks…see you there.”

Gibbs forced himself to open the book to the last page. He pulled out the section with Tony’s photo, folded it and shoved it in his breast pocket. He carried the album out to the living room where he grabbed Jensen’s laptop and headed out the door.

He was going to have the FBI search for these nameless men. He would not compromise Tony’s privacy even though Gibbs knew he was tampering with evidence. He just didn’t know what kind of evidence he had.  
He hoped the men in the photos were all just asleep and not dead.

The thought that a possible serial killer acted as a bodyguard for Tony brought the bile back up.

As he got behind the wheel of his car he couldn’t control himself.

He turned his body out the driver’s side door and puked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sixty minutes later Tobias Fornell closed the photo album looking grim.

He glanced at his old friend and said “I will see what we can do, Jethro.”

“Thanks…I need to find out who these men are….I hope they are all alive…”

“And if they aren’t….what then?” Fornell asked.

Gibbs had told him about the last page and the words written there but Fornell understood why Gibbs had removed all trace of Tony’s involvement. Tobias Fornell knew Gibbs had been in love with Anthony DiNozzo for many years.

Gibbs looked so distraught Fornell was worried. He didn’t want his friend to do something he would probably regret.

“I don’t know Tobias…..I just don’t know!”

Tobias Fornell stood and placed his hand on Gibbs shoulder saying:

“Okay Jethro…we’ll see if we can get some hits off the DMV through the FBI photo recognition programs. We’ll try every database we have….”

“Thanks Tobias….I never want Tony to know about this…”

Tobias smiled sadly and said “I know Jethro…..I’ll do the best I can for you. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible but it probably won’t be done until mid-week….you stay away from Mark Jensen until then…you hear me?”

Gibbs chuckled sadly “Trust me….I couldn’t even look at him right now without wanting to kill him!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The minute Fornell left, Gibbs removed the crumpled photo of Tony from his inside pocket and threw it into his fireplace. He struck a match and moved the flame towards the wadded paper.

He hesitated for only a second before the flame sparked, the fire grew and he watched the photo wither away to ash.

He didn’t want to think about Jensen but he needed to know what condition Mark was in.

He called the hospital before he headed back to see Tony.

Satisfied Jensen’s condition had not changed he provided the nurse with his contact information with a request to only be contacted if Jensen woke up.

Gibbs still felt physically off-so twisted was his stomach the thought of coffee made him ill.

He grabbed a bottle of water at the cafeteria and headed towards Tony’s room.

As he exited the elevator he heard the commotion before he saw it.

“I told you my attorney is here to serve Anthony DiNozzo! I don’t give a shit if he’s in a fucking coma…”

‘Linda’

Gibbs would recognize that whiny voice anywhere.

“You have no right to be here!”

Gibbs heard Tony’s nurse reply before she looked up and saw Gibbs approaching.

Linda’s back was to Gibbs.  
The nurse pointed towards Gibbs and said “You can talk to Tony’s power of attorney…Agent Gibbs….it will be over my dead body that you get to Agent DiNozzo!”

Gibbs smiled at the nurse as Linda, William and the suit turned to meet him.

“That would be over my dead body as well…what the hell are you doing here Linda!” Gibbs asked.

Gibbs was disgusted to see William cringe, his cowardly eyes darting back and forth.

The suit smirked and took a step forward but Linda stepped up to Gibbs before the lawyer had a chance to speak.

“I am here to see that justice is done!”

Gibbs only response was an eyebrow arch.

Linda huffed pointing towards Tony’s room, her face an ugly mess of anger and lack of sleep.

“That fucker has ruined everything! Spence’s house is now a crime scene and has drawn so much attention from the media I’ll never be able to sell it for what it’s worth!”

Gibbs stared at Linda and was amazed he had ever called her friend. He didn’t know what to say he was so shocked and disgusted.

Thinking about what Abby would do he simply stared Linda in the eyes as he uncapped his bottle of water, brought it to his lips and took a long draw. He then smacked his lips and gave Linda a huge smile and said:

“Boo fricking hoo”

“WHAT!?” Linda screamed

Gibbs smirked but remained quiet.

Linda turned beet red as she moved into Gibbs personal space and with a sneer quietly said:

“That bastard turned my kids against me, Jethro….I lost my husband, I lost my children…”

She noticed Gibbs expression changed to shock when she mentioned the kids.

“…..and I lost my good name all because of that comatose faggot….”

Gibbs brows narrowed in fury as he leaned down so they were face to face as he whispered so only she would hear:

“Get your high priced lawyer, your boyfriend and your vindictive ass out of here….I have never hit a woman, Linda, and you sure do not want to be my first.”

Linda could see the seriousness in Gibbs face.

She had no doubt he would strike her if she continued badgering him so she turned to her attorney and played the victim.

“He is threatening to hit me! Serve him and let’s get out of here….help him William!” she pleaded.

William stood next to the attorney and glared at Gibbs. When Gibbs glared back, William looked away and stepped behind the lawyer.

Gibbs was pleased to see Linda’s displeasure with William.

He was not her knight in shining armor.

The suit held out the court papers and when Gibbs didn’t take them the lawyer threw the document to the floor and said “As you are acting POA, understand Anthony DiNozzo has been served….see you in court….”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“That woman is unbelievable!”

Tony’s nurse said after Gibbs thanked her for coming to Tony’s defense.

“Well…I doubt you’ll see her again….I’m going to sit with Tony for a little while and then I’m going to leave you a list of people allowed to visit. I am going to be gone for the next two days…you have my number if there is an emergency.”

The nurse nodded her approval and with a grin she said:

“We’ll take good care of Tony…don’t you worry!”

Gibbs sat with Tony for about an hour.

He couldn’t get the image of Mark’s picture of Tony out of his head.

Scenarios of Tony being drugged and sexually abused flashed in Gibbs mind.

He couldn’t take anymore.

It was time to get away and get things ready for Tony’s escape from the shit storm all around them. He would head for Maryland Heights immediately.

Gibbs kissed Tony’s head and whispered:

“I will be back for you soon…rest and concentrate on getting well. I love you, Tony.”

Gibbs was out the door before he could see the twitch of Tony’s hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs called McGee to let him know when he found the property records for Jensen’s townhouse he should forward the information to Fornell.

McGee seemed curious but he knew better than to ask Gibbs why.

Gibbs headed home to gather a few things before he headed out.

Before he hit the road he had one thing left to do.

He pulled out his phone and hit speed dial #4.

“Hey Gibbs! Is Tony ok?” Abby asked with worry in her voice.

“He is the same Abs…but would you mind visiting him over the next two days…maybe Kate and McGee and Ducky can visit too? I need to take care of something out of town.”

“Not a problem Gibbs…I’ll take care of it….are you okay?”

“I’m fine Abs….would you be interested in helping me next week? You’d have to take some time off…”

“Is it for Tony?”

“Yes…and for me.”

“Just tell me when and where and I’m there!”

“Thanks Abby….I’ll only be about 90 minutes away so if you need me back call okay?”

“You got it boss man! Be safe and know we’ll take care of everything on this end.”

Leaving Tony in Abby’s capable hands, Gibbs got behind the wheel of his truck and headed for Maryland Heights.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liar, liar pants on fire...and it is not the fireworks exploding all around me. Great comments motivate me....xoxo reading peeps!

“I will be back for you soon…rest and concentrate on getting well. I love you, Tony.”

Tony reached up hearing Gibbs words from above.

He dropped his hand back in his lap as he heard Spence say:

“He does you know…love you.”

Tony snorted in disbelief as he sat on the back deck and watched Spence till his garden.

Almost everything was as it had been right before Spence was killed.

The garden was lush and the colors were vibrant.

The day was sunny and the skies were blue and there wasn’t a garden gnome in sight.

Spence was dressed only in cutoffs and he was sweaty and dirty and Tony admired the view.

Tony was aware he was dreaming and he never wanted it to end.

“Jethro has said the words…”Tony sighed “and you have always known I love him…”

“I know Tone” Spence agreed

“…but I’d rather be with you, Spence…it was supposed to be you and me for the long haul.”

Riley Spencer leaned on his tiller and grinned, saying:

“Quit whining and quit feeling guilty Tony. We can’t be together…my life is over but yours is not and I don’t want you or Gibbs to be alone. You and Jethro were meant to be together but he was too pigheaded and proud to break his own damn rule. I made you mine but you were always his.”

Tony didn’t know how to respond but he knew Spence was gifting him a new beginning. He would do his best to heal and get better because he knew Gibbs was waiting for him.

He realized Spence was right…he did feel guilty because he had always known in his heart that he belonged to Gibbs and Gibbs belonged to him….but where did that leave Spence?

As if Spence could read his mind he said:

“Relax Tone….we can love many people in our lives.”

He smirked at Tony adding:

“Hell, I was actually once head over heels in love with Linda…imagine that.”

Tony laughed at that but Spence interrupted him saying sarcastically:

“Hey! Since this is your dream state, how about you conjure up a beer for me…and I wouldn’t mind a shirt!”

Tony looked at Spence’s empty hand and thought of an ice cold beer.

Spence smiled when the cold bottle appeared in his hand.

He tipped the bottle towards Tony in thanks and then drank it down.

Spence gave a happy sigh and looked down to see if a shirt had appeared.

When he noticed he was still bare chested and now his shorts were gone, the only item of clothing a snug black thong he said:

“What the fuc….”

Tony grinned and said:

“My dream….my rules….so why don’t you turn around and get back to tilling that garden love…maybe bend over and pull some weeds…..”

Tony sat back with a huge smile on his face thinking there was no reason the healing process couldn’t be interesting and fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maryland Heights is situated at the confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers where the U.S. states of Maryland, Virginia and West Virginia meet. Known for the scenic hiking trails, “The Heights” looks down on the two rivers and the historical town of Harper’s Ferry West Virginia.

Gibbs old friend and mentor, Major Waylon Thorne, had inherited the property from his father. Thorne was a decorated veteran of the Vietnam War, had been an instructor at Quantico and Camp Lejeune before serving as a Military advisor and attaché under the Bush administration.

When Gibbs lost his girls, Thorne had heard his favorite student and friend had left the Marines and was having a hard time of it. He contacted Gibbs through a mutual friend and hired him to assist in developing the Maryland Heights property. It was that job where Gibbs met his current contractor, Bill Conners, and the project had kept him busy, focused and out of trouble.

The home was to be used while Major Thorne attended to duties at Camp David…which was only 43 miles to the north. The rest of the year it would be used as a retreat or remain empty, beautifully camouflaged to blend in with the natural elements, the piece de résistance being the incredible view.

When the house was complete Gibbs had refused payment for the work he had done.

He felt the positive mental and emotional boost his friends had helped him obtain was payment enough.

The Major and his wife Betsy disagreed. They were very upset and insisted that if Gibbs would not take monetary compensation he would take it another way by spending as much time as possible in the home he helped build.

Gibbs had never collected on that debt in all the years since.

He was pleased to know that the Major had hung on to the home all this time.

It would prove to be the perfect spot when Tony got out of the hospital.

Maryland Heights was roughly 70 miles northwest of Washington DC with an estimated travel time of 90 minutes. Gibbs made it in less than an hour. There were no immediate amenities at the Heights but Harper’s Ferry was a stone’s throw across the river.

His first trip was going to be short.

He would air the place out, do some cleaning and take stock of things he would need.

Finding the driveway up to the Major’s property proved a challenge.

Gibbs had not been there since before he joined NCIS.

He finally found the turn in and drove up the hill which wrapped its way along the hillside until it plateaued at the top. The Major was lucky his property was tucked away from prying eyes.

The only way anyone could see the home was from the air.

Gibbs parked the truck in one of the two carport spaces at the side of the home.

He located the hidden key and unlocked the side door.

Entering, he found a note addressed to him left by a property management company on behalf of the Major.

It read:

“Jethro…if you are reading this the lights and gas are on and the water is running. Had the place cleaned for you…bedding has all been changed as well. The spa guy has been out and taken care of the hot tub…enjoy!”

Gibbs smiled as he set the note down.

‘Leave it to the Major to take care of business’

As Gibbs explored, he was happy to see the home hadn’t changed much over the years.

The simple rectangular shaped home ran parallel along the hillside. There was only about 10 feet from the back of the home to the layered sedimentary rock that made up the Heights.

Lush trees and wild vegetation grew behind and around the property giving it a feeling of being nestled in a wooded forest.

There was a large deck that ran along the front of the house and although the home was wood framed, the front consisted of a series of sliding glass doors that could open from the large kitchen/living room and the master bedroom.

The floor plan was simple and functional. From the carport you would enter a small mud room that was also a laundry room. Walking through you would find the kitchen/living room. There was a small guest bedroom with full bath next to the kitchen and at the other end was the large master bedroom. A play pen styled couch faced the large stone fireplace in the living room. The mantel over the fireplace displayed several framed photographs. The shelves off to the right, held a huge selection of books and a variety of board games.

There was no TV or radio, which is how the Major liked it. As comfortable as it was he insisted on “roughing it” shutting out the world when spending time at Maryland Heights.

The plateau’s outcrop provided a perfect shelf to fit the home which Major Thorne had described as “shotgun shack meets ranch style”.

Gibbs remembered the annoyed look on Betsy’s face when her husband described it as such.

Waylon Thorne had met Hikari “Betsy” Nakamura on a furlough in Japan.

The Major said when he saw her it was love at first sight….it took Betsy a bit longer to realize the cocky American Marine trying to win her heart actually deserved it.

They had ended up happily married for over 40 years.

Although the home definitely had a western flare, Betsy made sure she added an eastern touch.

Form and function were enhanced with beauty and simplicity.

Gibbs opened the two sets of sliding doors in the living room.

The sheer drapes that had hung there motionless now danced in the breeze.

Gibbs moved into the master bedroom and opened those sliding doors as well.

He pushed aside the sheer curtains, stepped out onto the deck, passed a double wide chaise lounge and walked to the railing.

The view was as incredible as he remembered.

The town of Harper’s Ferry was directly below and it was bustling with tourists.

The rivers ran lazily and Gibbs could see a group of kayakers heading towards the banks of the Potomac as the sun began to set.

Turning back to his tour Gibbs appreciated the relative quiet of the location…the only sounds were a rustle of the breeze and vocal birds flitting from tree to tree.

Gibbs walked along the railing until he came upon the square redwood hot tub.

It was close to the edge so the occupants could enjoy the view.

It was currently covered but Gibbs could smell the chemicals from where he stood.

Walking past the hot tub he came to a fire pit with a couple of Adirondack chairs around it.

To the right of that, and directly next to the entrance to the kitchen, was an outside grill.

Everything had been cleaned and straightened anticipating his arrival.

With a happy smile he headed back into the master bedroom.

A king sized bed dominated the room.

Gibbs toed off his shoes and laid down on it.

The bedding was sage green-the comforter soft and the variety of pillows were down filled.

Gibbs took in a deep breath, thankful that the Major had the foresight to prepare for his visit.

He had less work to do and after the drama of the morning he felt like he had caught a break.

The breeze through the door felt good on his skin. He closed his eyes with just the intent to rest them but when he opened them again the room was dark. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep but he felt rested although his stomach growled in protest.

He needed food.

It was just out of habit that Gibbs opened the refrigerator before heading out to find a restaurant. He laughed seeing a pound of specialty dark roast sitting on the top shelf.

The shelf below held a large wrapped sandwich and a six pack of beer with a note that said:

“Taberu (eat), Cowboy”.

Cowboy was Betsy’s nickname for him.

She always said Gibbs reminded her of Gary Cooper in “High Noon”.

Gibbs chucked thinking that Tony would love Betsy.

She was as crazy about movies as he was.

‘Thanks Betsy’ Gibbs thought, grabbing a beer & the sandwich and heading outside.

Pulling up a chair near the fire pit, he placed his dinner to the side as he leaned down to turn it on. It was wood burning or gas. Gibbs selected the switch for gas, turned the knob until he heard it ignite, than sat back as the fire came to life.

He took a swig of beer, un-wrapped his sandwich and wolfed it down.

The evening was beautiful and the moon was bright.

Sandwich annihilated, he carried the empty wrapper back into the house and threw it in the trash. He grabbed another beer and went back outside.

He pulled out his phone and called Abby.

“Hey Bossman!” She greeted

Before he could say a word she continued:

“…and since I know why you are calling let me just say Tony is the same but we are keeping him company!”

“Hey Gibbs!”

He grinned, hearing McGee and Kate’s greeting in the background.

“Hey…glad to know you are all with Tony. I will be back tomorrow…call if anything changes.”

“You got it!” Abby said

He hung up; relieved Tony was in good hands.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs went out to his truck to grab his go bag.

Well-fed and slightly buzzed he decided to hit the rack.

He closed the sliding glass doors in the living room, shut off all the lights and entered the master bedroom, shutting and locking the door closed behind him.

Besides the bed with its two night stands, the only piece of furniture in the room was a comfortable looking recliner.

Gibbs threw the bag on the chair and rummaged around in it looking for his toiletry kit.

Kit in hand, he headed into the master bath. Switching on the overhead light he stopped in his tracks. The original bathroom had been remodeled.

The commode and sink were still in their original spot but the shower/tub combo had been removed. In its place was a free standing shower, a majestic Egret etched into the glass door and next to the shower was a prominent Japanese soaking tub.

It was large enough to seat two grown adults.

Gibbs ran his hand along the cool porcelain as his mind drifted to the many ways he and Tony could enjoy it.

“At ease!” he said amused, trying to control the bulge in his jeans from coming to attention.

He adjusted himself as he went over to the sink, brushed his teeth and got ready for bed.

Laying in the dark, enjoying the comfort of the home he had such a huge part in creating, he wondered why he had taken so long to come back to it.

He thought it might have been fear of the memories it might stir up.

He had been in such a dark place after Shannon and Kelly were killed.

It was Spence who encouraged his participation in the build.

Gibbs originally didn’t want to accept the Major’s offer but Spence insisted Gibbs needed to structure his life. He needed to “build stuff” is how Spence put it.

Gibbs fondly remembered the day he was headed to Maryland Heights.

Spence had shown up at his house with a bottle of 80 year old Wild Turkey, a gift for the road.

Spence had hugged Gibbs and said:

“Focus your talents and build my friend…..concentrate on the task at hand. I’ll keep an eye on your place, make sure the bills are paid and yard maintained. Do what you have to do to get your shit together….”

Gibbs wiped at his eyes feeling the moisture he had tried desperately to hold back.

He said a prayer asking for Tony’s speedy recovery and gave thanks for having been blessed with such wonderful friends.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Monday Morning 9:15 AM

Gibbs sat impatiently trying to control his budding anger. His overnight at Maryland Heights had been such a wonderful, stress free experience. He had slept in Sunday morning, enjoyed a pot of coffee out on the deck, and then hiked a back trail down to the river, crossing the foot bridge over into Harper’s Ferry.

He had found a local diner and had a fantastic breakfast.

He window shopped and did a bit of site seeing.

It had been years since he had visited Harper’s Ferry.

Gibbs enjoyed military history and Harper’s Ferry was considered historically important because it was the scene of John Brown's Raid, which did much to precipitate the Civil War.

On his way back towards the foot bridge, which would take him from West Virginia back into Maryland, he stopped to listen to one of the town docents talk to a group of tourists.

“….Harper’s Ferry is considered one of the most picturesque spots in this locality. In fact, Harper's Ferry has been termed the "Switzerland of America" due to the steep wooded mountains surrounding the town, and the waters of the Potomac and the Shenandoah Rivers dividing Maryland, West Virginia and Virginia at this point….”

The docent moved her arm pointing out the mountains, the town and then the rivers like a flight attendant making sure you knew where the cabin exits were located.

It was obvious they were hard to miss.

Gibbs knew Tony would have said something sarcastically witty had he been present.

Gibbs chuckled as he left the group and made his way back to the house.

The last thing he heard from the group was the docent saying excitedly:

“Thomas Jefferson visited Harper’s Ferry in 1783 and wrote "The passage of the Potomac through the Blue Ridge is perhaps one of the most stupendous scenes in Nature."

Gibbs wondered if the tourists even had a clue who Thomas Jefferson was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had made it back to D.C. in record time, visited with Tony for a few hours and woke early Monday morning stress free…and now this.

He had made it to Spence’s attorney’s office at ten to nine to make sure he was prompt.

It was obvious to Gibbs the attorney did not value other peoples time as much as he did his own.

Gibbs looked at his watch then glared at the Secretary who acted like she was alone in the room.

He would give it five more minutes and then he was out of there. He would let Steve handle it.

“Agent Gibbs? Mr. Coe will see you now.”

She stood with a flippant smile on her face like she enjoyed making him wait.

He fumed following her into the lawyer’s office….he hated lawyers but knew they were necessary evils. His hope was that this was not a complete waste of his time.

Monday Morning 10 AM

Gibbs left the Attorney’s office liking the man but hating his disorganization.

He confirmed that Spence was a client and that he did have a file for him but he would need time to pull it from stored records. He promised Gibbs he would make it a priority and they should have the information in a few weeks.

Gibbs had promised Steve he would follow up so he sent Steve a text as he headed back to the hospital. Steve called back in less than 10 minutes.

“So what did Dan Coe say?” Steve asked

“He was able to confirm Spence was a past client but he said he needed time to pull the file from stored records….”

“God damn it! I asked his Secretary to do that weeks ago…”

“She didn’t strike me as a person who really gives a damn, Steve…”

“Okay….I’ll take care of it Gibbs….how is Tony?”

“Still in the coma but he is getting stronger every day….when he gets out of the hospital we’re heading out of D.C. for a while….I want him to get some rest away from all this drama”.

Gibbs filled Steve in on everything that had happened. He also told him about the run in with Linda and being served. He withheld any information regarding Mark Jensen other than Jensen’s role at the house.

Gibbs appreciated the anger Steve exuded over the phone. He was incensed on Tony’s behalf.

“So you are telling me she is trying to sue Tony civilly because she blames him for the devaluation of a home that may or may not be legally hers? She actually tried to serve an unconscious man who is fighting for his life with court papers after he has been brutally attacked….GOD DAMN HER! Fax those fucking court papers to me as soon as you can….I’ll take care of this bullshit…you can count on it!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next two weeks were a blur.

Fornell and the FBI had identified every young man in Mark Jensen’s book and thankfully all were alive except one.

Oliver Singer had been a missing person for 3 years.

He had no family and was presumed deceased.

When Fornell advised Gibbs the property records for Jensen’s townhouse showed the prior owner was Oliver Singer, Gibbs came undone.

He permitted the FBI to search the grounds of the townhouse and the inside from top to bottom, even using thermal imaging, but Singer’s remains were not found.

Property records and documents were acquired to compare Jensen’s signature to Singer’s.

Forensics handwriting specialists were not able to validate there was forgery involved.

As far as records showed, Jensen paid Singer an incredibly small amount of cash to purchase a townhouse that had an estimated worth of close to half a million dollars.

Gibbs had become so obsessed with the Jensen case he was losing sight of his plan with Tony. Fornell knew this and called Ducky and Abby in to help get him back on track. He didn’t tell the ME and forensic scientist about Jensen but advised them to help Gibbs out with his plan for Tony.

Abby had been willing to take time off to help Gibbs the first week Tony was in the hospital but he had called her and told her to forget it. He explained everything was handled already.

When Fornell called she had already been worried something was driving Gibbs over the edge and she didn’t think it was only about Tony.

Ducky and Abby had intervened at the hospital. Seeing Gibbs was losing it they firmly convinced him to get his head out of his ass and pull it together. They made him see Tony should be his main focus…anything else could be dealt with later.

Gibbs wanted to confess everything that was going on with Mark Jensen but he couldn’t and wouldn’t involve them. Tony could never know and that meant Gibbs had to keep it to himself. Fornell was far enough removed from Gibbs team and he knew his old friend would keep the information close and guarded. The only way it would break is if Singer’s body was found and evidence tied Jensen to his death.

Fornell could track down all the men in the album to question them but a picture of a nude, sleeping man was hardly enough to put someone away for murder.

Ducky and Abby accompanied a worn out Gibbs to Maryland Heights to prepare for Tony’s arrival. Food was purchased and cabinets were stocked. Abby prepared several meals to freeze for her friends so they didn’t have to worry about cooking every night.

When the medical transport vehicle arrived to deliver Tony to Maryland Heights and Ducky gave Gibbs the thumbs up that Tony would be fine, Gibbs poured himself a bourbon and collapsed into the master bedroom recliner.

He watched Tony sleep anticipating the moment Tony was finally awake.

For the first time in weeks, Gibbs felt the majority of his stress leave his body as he fell into a deep sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony sat on the back porch step looking out on the garden.

It had lost its vibrancy, the sky had darkened and it looked like rain.

Spence held him close, gently kissing his cheek, his temple and when Tony turned towards Spence, his lips.

The kiss was chaste and there was a finality to it that made Tony’s heart heavy-like it had turned to lead.

“You have to go back now, Tone…its time…”

“But I don’t want to leave you!” Tony protested

“I appreciate that but it’s time for me to move on too….I mean, I’m getting pretty sick of tilling this garden…and this thong is pretty tight…”

The two of them shared a laugh as Tony said “Then let me envision something more wonderful for the two of us to share….we can make it our …”

“I wish it was that easy Tony but it’s not….you need to wake up and you need to move on!”

Spence said firmly as he pulled Tony in for a reassuring hug adding:

“We will see each other again…I promise…I love you Tony and thank you for loving me back.”

Spence stood up and ran his hand along Tony’s cheek.

His eyes were bright with affection and his smile comforted Tony as his image began to fade.

“Spence?! What’s happening…where are you going…no…I can’t do this…I want you to stay…Please don’t go….”

Spence reappeared fully formed but had a frown on his face.

“Tony! This doesn’t have to be so hard! Get out of here and go to Gibbs….you have a wonderful life waiting for you!”

Spence leaned in and taking Tony’s face between his hands he planted one last kiss.

Tony could only stare up at Spence as he pulled back.

“Alright…” Tony said, sounding sad and defeated but accepting.

“I love you Spence…”

“And I love you Tone…oh, and when you see Gibbs…”

“Yeah”

“Tell him I enjoyed seeing him run like a scared little girl…now wake up!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony opened his eyes; raising his hands he rubbed the crusted sleep from them.

His body felt stiff and his side hurt.

He struggled to move but sitting up was difficult….he gave up, flopping back onto the bed.

‘A very comfortable bed’

Gibbs was sleeping in a chair nearby and Tony wondered if he was still dreaming.

“Boss?” Tony whispered his voice weak from disuse.

He cleared his throat and tried again.

“Jethro?”

Gibbs eyes opened and he was instantly out of the chair and by Tony’s side.

“Tony!” Gibbs sat on the bed next to him and took his hand.

Gibbs hand felt so warm.

“You’re finally awake…how are you feeling? What do you need?” Gibbs lovingly asked.

Tony’s brows narrowed in response. He wasn’t sure what he needed just yet and as to how he felt he still wasn’t convinced what he was experiencing was real.

Tony looked around taking in the strange room. He looked to his right and saw a goldfish playfully swimming around in a bowl on the nightstand. He stared at the fish for a few minutes then looked back at Gibbs.

“Abby has been taking care of your fish…she brought him so he’d be here when you woke up.”

Tony nodded his approval and squeezed Gibbs hand making sure what he was feeling was real.

“Where am I?” he finally asked.

Gibbs smile was one of pure joy as he moved closer and said:

“Right where you belong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maryland Heights does exist although the house in this story does not. Harper’s Ferry is one of the most beautiful locations I have seen in the U.S. and I have done a lot of U.S. travel. I want to thank everyone again who has taken the time to read and comment/KUDO. I have tried to get back to everyone and if I missed you please know you have my gratitude. This chapter is a set up for the romance to begin...hope you liked it.


	58. Chapter 58

‘Right where you belong’

Tony liked the sound of that.

He grinned up at Gibbs and the smile on his face almost hurt.

Tony was surprised but also pleased to see such honesty, openness and caring in the blue eyes he had loved for years.

“What do you need Tony?” Gibbs asked smiling back.

“I need the head” Tony said slightly embarrassed.

He averted his eyes and struggled to get up; knowing if he didn’t move soon his bladder was going to humiliate him.

“Sure…let me help you.” Gibbs volunteered.

Tony’s legs were wobbly under him but that was to be expected under the circumstances.

He stumbled but Gibbs held him with a steady hand.

“God boss…I feel so weak….how long have I been out?” Tony asked as Gibbs helped him take baby steps towards the master bath.

“About three weeks…”

“Three weeks!?” Tony stopped suddenly turning to Gibbs in disbelief.

Gibbs nodded as the two of them returned to their slow march.

“There is time for the whole story but not now. Your job, Tony, is to get well.”

Tony remained silent concentrating on each step. He tried to remember what had happened but when his mind drew a blank he simply focused on the task at hand.

When they reached the commode Gibbs said “Do you need to sit or stand?”

Tony felt his face flush.

Gibbs noticed but stayed silent.

He would not tell Tony that he already seen it all.

He figured Tony didn’t need to know he had bathed him and changed his clothes after Ducky and Abby left.

“Stand is fine…” Tony said resting a hand on the sink next to the toilet.

“Do you want me to leave?” Gibbs asked as he helped Tony brace himself.

“Uh…if you don’t mind boss…” Tony said looking over his shoulder at Gibbs.

His smile looked apologetic.

“No problem Tony…I’ll be right outside. Just call me if you need me.”

“Thanks.” Tony said appreciatively as Gibbs turned to leave.

When the lock clicked Tony got down to business.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

He didn’t even want to think about who had been cleaning him up over the past three weeks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony felt much stronger as he stepped over to the sink, washed his hands and took a good look at his reflection. He was clean shaven and all the injuries he had had on his face and throat were long gone. He looked tired and gaunt but his eyes were clear. His weight loss was noticeable. He lifted his shirt and looked at the long scar just right of his navel. It was a stark white compared to the rest of his skin tone and he knew it would be permanent.

The confrontation with Hector Zegarra played through his mind. He cringed remembering the feeling of that sword piercing his body literally pinning him to the wall. He tried to remember what happened next but he got nothing. Figuring Gibbs would fill him in on what he’d missed he splashed water on his face and reached for a towel. He looked around the bathroom wondering if he was in a house or possibly a hotel. The bathroom was stunning with the beautiful shower and the tub was very inviting.

“You okay?” Gibbs worried voice sounded behind the door.

Gibbs stood back when the door opened and Tony stepped out.

“Much better! And I feel like I can walk a bit on my own….how about a tour?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs led the way out of the master bedroom onto the outside deck.

Tony followed carefully.

When they made it to the railing Tony gave a low whistle and said:

“God! This is beautiful….where are we Gibbs?”

Gibbs replied “We are in the state of Maryland…. Maryland Heights to be exact. Directly below us is the Potomac and the town of Harper’s Ferry…”

“Harper’s Ferry! Wow…I have never been there…Spence use to say he’d…..”

Gibbs noticed the joy in Tony’s eyes faded and he looked away.

Gibbs ignored the change in Tony. He knew there would be a lot of Spence moments…it was to be expected and Gibbs would not shy from them.

He placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze as he continued:

“The Shenandoah River is to our left and feeds into the Potomac…that wooded area over there, directly across from the town, that is the State of Virginia.”

“It is really beautiful….a stunning view” Tony said.

He turned from the railing and faced the house.

“What about this house?”

“This home is a friends…..I helped them build it several years ago.”

Gibbs was pleased to see a jolt of joy return to Tony as his natural curiosity was piqued.

“Really?! It’s fantastic, Jethro!”

“Want the rest of the tour? I guarantee it will be very short.”

Tony laughed and said “Can’t wait!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The tour ended in front of the fireplace.

Gibbs pointed to a photo and said “This is Major Waylon Thorne and his wife Betsy. They own this house.”

“Nice” Tony said as he looked at the couple and then looked around.

He pointed at a photo of Gibbs and another man asking “Who’s this?”

“Bill Conners…he was the contractor. Between the two of us we built this place from the ground up.”

Tony looked impressed as he said “You are a man of many talents boss!”

Tony squinted as he looked closer at the photo. He pointed to the inscription at the bottom.

“Bill and Cowboy…” Tony looked back at Gibbs and grinned “Cowboy?!”

Gibbs huffed out a breath and said “Yeah…Betsy’s nickname for me.”

“Oh…I think I like Betsy!” Tony teased.

Gibbs ignored him saying:

“You hungry?”

“Starving….ya gonna rustle us up some grub, Cow…”

Tony didn’t get a chance to finish as Gibbs lightly smacked him on the back of the head.

“No grub for you pilgrim….more like pabulum…Ducky has you on soft food for a few days.”

Gibbs ignored Tony’s groan and cute pout as he headed into the kitchen.

“Sit on the couch and relax DiNozzo….I’ll have soup for you in no time.”

Gibbs stifled a laughed as Tony stated indignantly “Where the hell is their TV?!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was happy Tony slept most of the next three days as he was sick of Tony bitching that the lack of a computer, television, radio or any civilized electronic entertainment was denied him.

He told Tony that was just how it was at Maryland Heights.

Gibbs had even stowed his cell phone in the car and left Tony’s back in DC.

Tony threw rule #3 in his face but Gibbs countered saying it only applied when they were not on leave. He finally told Tony that Abby and Ducky would be up in a few days. Ducky to check on Tony’s recovery and Abby would bring supplies-mainly his DVD player and a bunch of movies.

Gibbs didn’t tell Tony he wouldn’t be seeing a computer for a while.

He wanted Tony isolated from any media and would deal with Tony when and if he took notice.

Gibbs played nurse maid and Tony was happy to be taken care of.

They shared the king sized bed each night not breaking the tradition they had established at Tony and Spence’s house.

The sexual tension was obvious to both but neither seemed to want to be the first to pursue.

Gibbs had confided in Ducky and in Abby his true intentions concerning Tony.

He was overjoyed that his friends were on board and offered to help anyway they could.

The day they returned to Maryland Heights, Gibbs prepared a wonderful barbecue.

The meal was delicious and the conversation was varied and interesting.

Ducky gave Tony a check-up and was extremely pleased in how he was progressing.

Ducky and Gibbs shared drinks out on the deck listening as Abby and Tony watched a movie inside that had them in hysterics.

Gibbs laughed and said:

“Thanks again Duck for everything you have done. I could not have pulled this off without you and Abs.”

Ducky chuckled saying:

“It is my pleasure, Jethro. Anthony is getting much stronger. You are taking very good care of him.”

“Trying, Duck.”

“Hmmm” Ducky added sipping his scotch “He seems very happy…satisfied perhaps?”

Gibbs narrowed his brows as Ducky smirked at him.

“Satisfied, Duck? Are you asking if we have been….intimate?”

Ducky feigned outrage as he said “Of course not!”

He downed his drink and added “Although….such activity would not be out of the question.”

Gibbs glared and Ducky couldn’t help himself…he grinned from ear to ear.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“You know Tony…Gibbs is really sprung on you!”

“Sprung, Abs?” Tony laughed

“Yes…sprung! He has the hots for you! Has he made a move?”

“What?! No! Abby, Gibbs is just helping me recover…that’s what this is and…”

Tony couldn’t finish seeing Abby knew he was full of shit.

“God Abby! I wish he would make a move!” Tony whispered

Abby bounced on the couch her hands clasp in excitement.

“I knew it! You too are meant to be together Tony...”

She stopped when she saw Tony’s face.

He looked so sad.

She reached out and pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry Tony….I know I’m out of line. Spence has been gone for such a short time….I just want you to be happy…for you and Gibbs to be happy…together. I feel you two are meant to be together….I apologize if I hurt you.”

Tony sighed and looked out at Gibbs and Ducky.

He wanted to make sure the two men could not hear what he was about to say.

“I have something to tell you Abby…and it needs to stay between us okay?”

Abby followed Tony’s line of sight then turning back to him she crossed her heart and said:

“I’ll take it to the grave Tony.”

He nodded and then proceeded to tell her about the dream he had of Spence and the garden. What Spence had told him in the dream and how he had insisted Tony wake up and go to Gibbs…that Gibbs was waiting for him.

Abby was wide eyed and teary at the end saying:

“You have Spence’s blessing Tony…if Gibbs doesn’t make the move you need too….you owe it to yourself and to Gibbs. In fact I have a gift for you…for the two of you…something that may help you both open up. Get this party started if you will.”

She pulled a rectangular shaped gift out of her purse. It was thick and wrapped with navy blue paper that was covered with white skulls. A white skull shaped bow sat centered on the top.

“Open this after Ducky and I leave. Gibbs has been tossing back the booze….this would be the time to get him to talk.”

Tony accepted the gift with a curious look.

“Um…okay Abby…I’ll let you know if it works.”

Abby beamed at Tony and said “Oh, it will work…..timing is everything, DiNozzo!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Ducky and Abby left…Abby behind the wheel of the Morgan as Ducky was sloshed…Gibbs busied himself cleaning the kitchen as Tony sat on the couch and watched.

“You need some help boss?” Tony offered

“No, I’m good…almost done.” Gibbs replied

Gibbs knew Tony was eyeing him but he couldn’t look at him.

He was thinking about what Ducky had said and Gibbs wanted to make a move but he was scared. He didn’t know what he would do if Tony rejected him.

Tony held Abby’s gift in his hands wondering what was inside.

He could tell it was a book…maybe two books by the feel of it.

He prayed they weren’t a copy of the Kama Sutra or the Joy of Gay Sex or something like that.

He thought about what Abby had said.

‘Timing is everything’

Tony also believed atmosphere played a big part in timing.

“You mind if I light the fire?”

Gibbs looked up.

He had hoped to have a fire sometime that week. He had prepared it for the right occasion. He had imagined sitting on the couch with Tony’s head in his lap…the only light in the room that of orange flames dancing around them….leaning in and kissing Tony tenderly.

Maybe the occasion had just presented itself.

Gibbs gulped before he said:

“Sounds good….I’m done in the kitchen...you want me to turn this light off?”

“That would be nice….um…I have a gift over here from Abby….to the both of us…she told me we could open it after she left.”

Gibbs grabbed the bourbon and poured himself a double.

Tony had struck the match and stood back watching as the fire caught and began to grow.

He turned to Gibbs his face expressing an open invitation.

Gibbs nervously licked his lips and said “You wanna beer?”

Gibbs had not let him have a drink since he had arrived.

“Sure…that’d be nice.” He said feeling like butterflies took flight in his stomach.

Gibbs nodded, grabbed a beer from the fridge and turned off the kitchen light.

He handed Tony the beer and they sat down.

Tony took a swig of his beer and set it down on the coffee table. He picked up the package and handed it to Gibbs.

“You open it.” Gibbs said firmly as he sipped his bourbon clinging to the glass like it was a life preserver.

“Okay…” Tony said with trepidation.

He ripped the package open not wanting to prolong the inevitable discovery.

The gift was indeed two books, their back covers exposed.

Gibbs moved closer to see what Tony held in his hand.

Tony held his breath as he turned them over.

Gibbs read the first title:

"The Book of Questions"

Tony read the second:

"The Book of Questions-Love and Sex"

Gibbs took the first book from Tony’s hand as Tony gripped the second.

He waved the book in front of Tony and with a smirk on his face asked:

“You game?”

Tony could smell the bourbon on his breath.

Tony was far from inebriated but Abby was right, timing was everything.

He grabbed his beer and downed half of it.

Smiling at Gibbs, who looked so damn sexy in the firelight, he replied:

“Oh…it is so on!”


	59. Chapter 59

“I’ll go first!”

Tony said bravely as he opened his book at random and read the first question he came upon.

He asked:

“Who would you do-Ronald McDonald or Colonel Sanders?”

Gibbs hesitated before he asked:

“That question is from “Love and Sex”?”

“Yes” Tony replied.

“Then why would it ask which fast food I’d prefer?”

Tony chuckled and shook his head saying:

“It isn’t asking what you prefer to eat it’s asking who would you “do”?”

Gibbs brows narrowed “I don’t understand?”

Tony fought an eye roll wishing he could record this for Abby.

She and Tony secretly relished Gibbs lack of knowledge of pop culture references and now it was obvious he knew nothing of the game “Who would you do?”

Tony fought back the desire to laugh out loud.

He didn’t want to piss Gibbs off before they even got started so he patiently explained:

““Who would you do?” is a parlor game that asks a question giving you two choices and you need to select one…”

“Well I got that, Tony” Gibbs said sarcastically “but I didn’t expect a book called “Love and Sex” to pose the question do I love McDonald’s over Kentucky Fried Chicken!”

Tony’s jaw dropped.

He recovered quickly saying:

“Boss! The question is asking if you had to have sex with either Ronald McDonald or Colonel Sanders who would you choose!?”

Tony then added air quotes as he said “Who would you DO?”

“WHAT?” Gibbs protested “That question is ridiculous!!”

Now Tony did laugh and Gibbs sat back pissed.

Gibbs took a gulp of his bourbon before he said:

“Since this is obviously hilarious to you, Tony, which one would you do!?”

Tony held his side trying to calm himself.

He was laughing too hard and it was causing a lot of pain.

He let out a breath and said:

“I hate clowns so I’d have to pick getting down and dirty with the Colonel.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs was not amused.

He threw his book onto the coffee table and stood up heading over to the fireplace to stoke the fire.

Tony realized he needed to salvage the moment.

“Aw…c’mon, Jethro…don’t be mad! Abby got these for us for a reason….I know that question was really juvenile. We can skip those questions if they come up again. How about we set some rules….and I know you love rules!”

Gibbs looked back at Tony, whose smile was angelic; his eyes sparkled in exaggerated innocence as he solicited Gibbs cooperation.

Gibbs had to fight a smile that tugged at his lips.

He retained his look of frustration as he signaled for Tony to continue.

Tony picked up both books and thumbed through them saying:

“Each book has about 200 questions in them…how about we take turns asking a question and answering one. Let’s start with the “Book of Questions” and then we can alternate between the two if you’d like…sound good?”

“Okay…and we can skip the question if we don’t want to answer it or think it’s stupid?”

“Absolutely!” Tony assured finishing off his beer.

“You want another?” Gibbs asked indicating the empty beer bottle.

Did he need the liquid courage?

Tony thought it would be so easy to get drunk, than if things got intense they could blame everything on being under the influence.

He never wanted to go down that road again…not with Gibbs.

“No…thanks…I think I want to switch to bottled water if you don’t mind….kinda want to keep my faculties about me.”

Gibbs nodded as he picked up what remained of his bourbon and Tony’s empty bottle and headed into the kitchen.

“Good idea” Gibbs agreed as he tossed the liquor down the sink and got two bottles of water out of the fridge.

He handed Tony a water bottle and reclined in the opposite corner of the couch.

Facing Tony he said “Okay….let’s start….Book of Questions # 25.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Okay…number 25 “Would you ever kill for revenge?”

Tony looked up at Gibbs.

They both already knew the answer but Gibbs said:

“Yes”

Tony handed the book over to Gibbs saying “I’ll take number 75”.

Gibbs had to put on his reading glasses. He adjusted them as he shifted the book to catch the most firelight. Tony thought Gibbs looked absolutely adorable. Gibbs cleared his throat and said:

“If you, your best friend and your Father were hiking and a rattle snake appeared striking and biting both father and friend, and you only had enough anti-venom to save one, who would you choose?”

He put the book down and added:

“Who the hell writes this stuff?”

“I’d save my friend.”

“That was quick.”

“You have never met my father….and I do not have many friends….I would save them first….trust me, if the snake bit my Dad the snake would die.”

Gibbs chuckled “C’mon Tony…he can’t be that bad can he?”

Gibbs lost his smile when he saw Tony’s mood turn dark.

“Guess what my dad said to me when I called him to tell him I met someone special…that I was in love?”

Gibbs blinked.

“When I shared my happiness in meeting Spence, my father called me a fucking faggot and told me I was dead to him…so I will always pick my friends.”

Gibbs refrained from saying anything as he handed the book back to Tony who accepted it, tight lipped and misty eyed.

“Sorry Boss….my Dad is a real sore spot.”

Gibbs nodded and said “I’ll take number 45”.

Tony laughed before he read the question.

“Do you think the Lipton Tea company allows their employees to take a coffee break?”

Gibbs laughed and said “They had better!”

“I’ll take number 36…..”

“If you could be a fictional character who would you be?”

“Easy!” Tony said channeling his best Connery.

“Bond, James Bond.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For the next 30 minutes Gibbs and Tony blew through a series of questions.

They were both enjoying themselves and Tony was very happy with Abby’s choice of gift.

They hadn’t cracked “Love & Sex” since the first question Tony asked, but silently, both men figured they’d get to it eventually.

The questions, although silly at times, really were an ice breaker. Both men were amazed the book actually provided interesting revelations about the other person-someone you thought you already knew really well.

The book of questions proved there was always something new to learn.

“Number 50” Gibbs said

“Would you be an opera singer or ballet dancer?”

Gibbs thought for a moment then said “Opera singer.”

“Really?” Tony said intrigued.

“Well yeah…you ever hear me sing Tony?”

“No…”

“That’s because I can’t….but if I could...lookout!”

Tony laughed, delighted to learn this about Gibbs.

Tony almost slipped and mentioned Spence’s wonderful voice. He caught himself just in time.

Instead he said “Number 99”

“What super power do you dream of having?”

“Oh! Oh…I love this question…so many to pick from…invisibility…no…mind reading! That would come in handy in interrogation right? But man, I would love to leap tall buildings in a single bound…damn…I’ll go with the invisibility….you know how nosy I am boss…and if I couldn’t be seen….whoa…the possibilities are endless!”

Gibbs grinned as he handed the book over to Tony and said “Number 88”.

“If you had to join the circus what job would you want?”

“Ring Master” Gibbs said immediately.

“No kidding…didn’t see that coming” Tony said under his breath, adding “I’ll take number 72”.

“Have you ever tipped a cow?” Gibbs asked.

“What? Why would I tip a cow? No….I have never tipped a cow. I mean what would you do? Say “Here ya go, Bossie, here’s five bucks for the wonderful dairy products?”

Gibbs snorted “Cow tipping isn’t monetary compensation, Tony….you sneak up on a sleeping cow and tip it over.”

Tony looked appalled “Who the hell would do that?”

Gibbs laughed “So the answer is no.”

“Right….have you tipped a cow Jethro?”

“No…I may be from a small town but cow tipping was never popular in Stillwater….number 68.”

The two of them were still laughing as Tony read the next question:

“Have you ever been jealous of your best friend?”

Gibbs smile slowly faded as the weight of the question hung in the air.

Since the serious subject of Tony’s father had passed, they had only been answering questions that gave them insight into the other. What they liked, what they would like to do, where they would like to travel…the questions hadn’t been too deep or emotionally revealing…until now.

Gibbs paused wondering if he should skip the question. He could lie, use rule #7 but he didn’t.

“Yes”

Tony paused.

Spence was Gibbs best friend.

Dare he ask why Gibbs was jealous of Spence?

Tony had a gut feeling he already knew the answer but he needed confirmation.

Gibbs had answered the question and they should move on to the next.

Instead he asked in almost a whisper.

“Why were you jealous?”

Gibbs eyed Tony and knew they stood at the cusp of a new beginning.

Gibbs was scared.

He felt his blood turn to ice.

He had only one desire, one simple dream and being with Tony was it.

If Tony turned away from him he wasn’t sure he would know what to do going forward.

He licked his lips and sat up, his eyes never leaving Tony’s.

Tony’s eyes widened and Gibbs could see he was scared too.

Knowing that gave him some comfort.

Gibbs knew the ball was firmly in his court. As much as he hated dealing with feelings he knew that if he wanted Tony in his arms, in his bed and in his life he would have to shatter the wall he had built to shelter his own heart.

He moved closer to Tony as he said “I was jealous because he had you.”

Gibbs watched as a myriad of emotions played across Tony’s face and in his beautiful eyes.

Sadness, confusion, anger, wonder, fear, excitement, and love.

Gibbs continued:

“I know we haven’t talked much about what happened at the house after I got there but do you remember being at the hospital before they took you into surgery?”

Tony shook his head saying “Not a lot.”

Tony felt like he was in a dream state.

He watched Gibbs moving closer to him and Gibbs was talking.

He was not avoiding or shutting down and frankly Tony didn’t know what to do.

Gibbs was sharing and revealing and Tony didn’t want to misinterpret what was going on between them.

Gibbs had rejected him before and Tony didn’t think he could take it a second time.

Gibbs was sitting directly in front of him now and Tony gulped.

Gibbs averted his eyes for a moment then looked directly at Tony and said:

“Just before they wheeled you away from me you said “Jethro…I’ve been in love with you since the moment we met”….” Gibbs hesitated, and then said “Did you mean that…really?”

Tony slowly nodded saying “I don’t remember that….”

Gibbs instantly looked defeated, eye contact broken.

Tony reached out and took Gibbs hand.

As Gibbs looked up at him Tony smiled saying “But it is a true statement, Jethro.”

Gibbs smiled back.

Simultaneously the two of them leaned in and their lips met.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times ahead my peeps! (About time!! Right? I Know! Like 60 chapters in! What can I say...I LOVE the anticipation!)

Gibbs had to fight his immediate impulse to deepen the kiss.

His desire for Tony had been lying dormant for over two years and it took everything in his power to hold back.

But when Tony opened his mouth, expelling a low moan, Gibbs resolve shattered.

He felt his body erupt in a burning heat, his blood rushing straight to his dick.

He plunged his tongue into Tony’s mouth as he wrapped his hands around Tony’s waist to pull him close.

Gibbs fingers tingled with his need to touch.

He was so caught up in the moment any thought of Tony’s injured side was forgotten.

The kiss ended abruptly as Gibbs forcefully pulled the object of his desire forward but was thwarted as Tony gasped and pulled out of Gibbs hands grimacing in pain.

Gibbs jumped back as Tony folded into himself holding his side and hissing out a breath.

“Oh, God! Tony! I…I’m so sorry…..are you alright? I didn’t mean to hurt you….I’m so sorry!” Gibbs said reaching out to help but pulling back again not sure if Tony would welcome his attempt to comfort.

Tony chuckled as he looked up at Gibbs and said:

“I don’t know which is more shocking…..that for the second time YOU initiate a kiss or that you are apologizing and sound just like McGee!”

Gibbs looked frazzled as he sat back and with his elbows on his knees held his head in his hands saying:

“I don’t want to hurt you Tony. I never, ever want to hurt you. God…what you’ve been through the last 5 weeks…...I don’t know what to do….I want you…want to be with you….have for a long time….but I know it’s too soon….but I…I….”

Tony was dumbstruck.

He had never seen Gibbs so vulnerable.

It was oddly endearing and a bit frightening all at once.

He felt very protective of Gibbs in that moment and was determined to make sure he knew it.

“Ssshh….Jethro….it’s okay….I’m okay…”

Tony soothed, as he reached out a hand and placed it on Gibbs thigh.

Tony gave Gibbs’ thigh a comforting squeeze causing him to look up into Tony’s eyes.

Any worry Gibbs had that Tony was hurt or that he might reject him disappeared seeing the warmth and concern in sparkling jade colored eyes as Tony said:

“We are on the same page, Jethro. I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want you hurt either. It took a lot of guts to express yourself the way you just did and I appreciate your candor. Ya know…you and I are a lot alike in that we both have a lot of emotional baggage and don’t like or want to discuss it.”

Gibbs snorted out a laugh as he placed his hand over Tony’s and said:

“Ya think?! That’s pretty insightful, DiNozzo…”

Tony huffed out a breath and looked at the dying fire as he said:

“We can thank Spence for that. He always forced me to be emotionally available. I hated it at first but he insisted on being in the moment….no hiding…”

“Yep….that sounds like Spence” Gibbs agreed “I could always count on him for calling me out on my shit.”

Tony laughed, turning back to look at Gibbs he said:

“He used to say that you and I were alike in that we carried our “emotional burden” in an unhealthy way. I know he was right…and I changed for him. I always felt we would grow old together… me and Spence… I never thought he’d be taken from me, ever…it’s funny though…with what we do every day…all the shit we see….you’d think we’d never want to get close to anyone.”

Gibbs moved his hand to entwine his fingers with Tony’s as Tony continued:

“Spence was here and then he was just gone…I am still having trouble accepting that. I’m sure you never thought that you’d lose your family like you did either.”

Gibbs nodded in agreement squeezing Tony’s hand as he looked down and said:

“It was going to be me and Shannon forever…we wanted more children….I never wanted Kelly to be an only child. I hated being alone as a kid….”

Tony laughed bitterly and said “Oh I get that.”

“Yeah…..I know you do.” Gibbs said sadly as he released Tony’s hand and stood up.

He leaned down and kissed Tony on the top of his head as he walked over to the fireplace and threw in another log.

He had his back to Tony as he stoked the fire.

“My girl…” Gibbs said just above a whisper “She’d be in college now."

Tony’s heart broke for Gibbs. He thought about what he should say.

With more joy in his voice then he felt, Tony asked:

“So…what did Kelly want to be when she grew up?”

Gibbs poked at the fire, stirring up the flames as he said “She had a list actually….three things she wanted to be….a ballerina, a veterinarian or a marine.”

“Just like her daddy!” Tony said lightheartedly “What do you think she’d have done?”

Gibbs laughed and said:

“I could see her as a veterinarian. She was a sensitive kid…very kind and caring….she loved animals…and she was smart…like her mom.”

The added log was ablaze as Gibbs turned around and said:

“It kills me that she was only 8 years old when she died. She never got to grow up…never got to experience all “the firsts” in her life…she never got to pursue her dreams…never got to fall in love…”

The fire lit up the room and Tony could see the unshed tears behind Gibbs eyes.

Gibbs looked at Tony and saw the younger man’s eyes get watery.

The two sighed simultaneously, which caused Tony to break into a grin as Gibbs smirked and shook his head.

“Shit Tony…do you think we could make this work? Do you think we could really talk about everything?”

“Yes…and yes….I think we’ve made a good start tonight…but it depends on you and if you can chuck rule #12….I’m willing to give us a try…take it slow....I’m in if you are.”

“I would like that but I agree we should take it slow…to talk…” Gibbs said as he made his way back to the couch and picked up a pillow indicating to Tony he should stretch out.

“God…it is strange hearing you mention the “T” word” Tony teased as he moved to lie down.

Gibbs glared at him as he sat down making room so Tony could lay his head down on the pillow.

He placed the pillow in his lap, glad his erection had faded away, before Tony dropped his head back.

Tony dramatically squirmed pretending to get comfortable as he looked up at Gibbs and said:

“I could get use to this!”

Gibbs almost shot back with a “Don’t” but that would have been a lie.

This was exactly where he wanted Tony.

Tony closed his eyes as Gibbs watched the wood burn. The silence was comforting for a while, both of them busy with their own thoughts. Gibbs had taken to gently running his fingers through Tony’s hair.

Tony sighed, content.

A few minutes later Gibbs heard Tony ask:

“How about some more questions?”

Gibbs smiled down at him as Tony looked up with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Okay” Gibbs agreed lifting Tony’s head up as he reached for the books on the table.

“You pick, Tony.”

“Okay…Love & Sex…. question #50.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs actually looked uncomfortable when he found the question.

Tony watched as his eyes got big but then he schooled his features.

“Well…?” Tony asked impatiently.

Gibbs cleared his throat then said:

“Describe how you fuck in one word.”

Tony hesitated as he looked away for a second.

When he looked back at Gibbs he was surprised at what he saw.

“Oh, my God, Gibbs….are you blushing?”

“No…”

“Yes….you are!”

“Just answer the question, DiNozzo!”

“Okay…let’s see…um…..ah… I’m sorry…can you read it again?”

Gibbs looked mad as he said “NO…you know what I….”

“Joyfully.”

“Excuse me?”

“Joy-full-lee…how I fuck…joyfully!” Tony said nonchalantly then added:

“How about you, Jethro? One word…how do you fuc….”

“That question was yours!”

“Yeah but I want to know…come on….new rule…we both answer…”

“FINE!” Gibbs said and after a moment of thought added:

“Passionately”

“Passionately? Oh…I like that….” Tony replied as he waggled his eyebrows.

Tony chuckled as Gibbs rolled his eyes handing him the book.

“Number 75” Gibbs commanded.

Tony flipped through the pages until he reached the right one.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Eighteen….”

“Eighteen? With Shannon?”

“Did the question ask with whom?” Gibbs scolded

“No but I want to know!” Tony whined

“Jesus Tony…yes…with Shannon…satisfied!?”

“No…but we’re just starting…I was fifteen by the way…boarding school…”

Tony was amused seeing a spark of curiosity fill Gibbs eyes.

“Uh…was it with a….”

“With an older woman the first time….Headmaster’s daughter….Daphne…she was 17 going on 40…she had the biggest pair of….sorry…next question.” Tony said handing Gibbs the book.

“So when did you first have an experience with a guy?” Gibbs tried to ask casually.

Tony frowned, determined to give Gibbs a hard time.

“I didn’t give you a number yet so I can’t answer that.”

“Consider it a bonus question.” Gibbs added.

“Is this a new rule Gibbs?”

“YES!”

“Okay! Dang Jethro you are damn nosy….first guy was Daphne’s twin brother, Daniel” Tony said, then with a faraway, dreamy expression on his face added:

“God…. they were both so gorgeous……”

He did it to goad Gibbs so he should have been prepared for the reaction.

“OW! What was that for?” Tony asked rubbing the back of his head where Gibbs had smacked him.

“For trying to rile me!”

“Ooh…I knew you were a jealous man!”

“I already confessed that Tony!” He said loudly but then muttered playfully under his breath “No wonder they call you sex machine.”

Tony beamed at Gibbs saying “I want question #5 but before you read it I want to know….when was your first experience with another guy?”

Gibbs shook his head and grinned.

“Junior high….his name was Mike Egan….we gave each other hand jobs and never talked about it again.”

“Ever see him again…after high school I mean?” Tony asked

“You ever see the twins again?” Gibbs countered

“Nope….I was kicked out of that school soon after “The Twin Affair”.”

Gibbs smiled sadly saying:

“Mike died in a car accident right before graduation.”

“Jeez Jethro, I’m sorry to hear that….were you two close friends?”

“He was my best friend in high school ….we were planning on joining the Marines together. When he died, I was in shock…I couldn’t get on the train out of Stillwater fast enough. My Dad and I weren’t close then…still aren’t really….I went to the train station on my own and that’s where I first talked to Shannon.”

“We sat together on that train ride talking the whole trip. When we parted we agreed to write to each other and did so the whole time I was in training. Mike’s death was devastating but meeting Shannon was a godsend. I felt very alone that first week of boot camp but then I met ….”

Gibbs voice trailed off as Tony filled in the blank.

“Spence…”

“That’s right…I met Spence.”

Tony gazed into Gibbs beautiful eyes, feeling privileged, seeing the undisguised emotions there.

Tony had the feeling few people ever saw Gibbs like this.

The burden of grief, guilt and fear were there but so was an immense love and flickers of hope.

Tony contemplated what he knew of this man he loved.

Gibbs life had a body count that was staggering.

He had lost his mother, Mike Egan, Shannon and Kelly, and now Spence.

Tony wondered how many friends and comrades Gibbs had lost when he was serving his country…and all the failed marriages….no wonder Gibbs could be a complete bastard. That the man got up every day and tried to make a difference in the world was one of the things Tony most admired about Gibbs and it was one of the things he tried to emulate.

“You do know that Spence would approve of us being together….right?” Tony said, than added:

“He always knew how I felt about you, Jethro.”

Gibbs closed his eyes and remained silent. This was not how he had envisioned things going. He always felt it would have to be up to him to convince Tony to give him a second chance but somehow the tables had turned into a scenario he had never imagined.

He was filled with self-doubt.

He didn’t know if he could make this work.

When the path of your life was littered with death and heart break how could he think this time would be different?

He wondered if he should give into the temptation.

Would the reality of what this could be hit him in the morning’s light causing him to self-sabotage his happiness?

“But I want this….. So very much….” Gibbs thought “…don’t I?”

Tony watched as a single tear escaped from the corner of Gibbs’ eye.

Tony reached up and gently wiped it away.

Gibbs moment of vulnerability caused a feeling of empowerment to flow through Tony.

He would not let Jethro get away this time. He would fight with everything he had to make sure he didn’t lose another man he loved when he could actually do something about it. Losing Spence the way he had was well beyond his control but losing Spence had also taught Tony all you have could be gone in a blink of an eye.

In Tony’s mind, Gibbs was his already.

He just had to make sure Leroy Jethro Gibbs understood who he belonged too.

Knowing what he wanted without a moment of doubt, Tony stood and removed the pillow from Gibbs lap and the book from his hand, throwing both objects to the other side of the couch.

The action caused Gibbs to look up at Tony.

Tony smiled down at Gibbs and held out his hand.

Gibbs looked from the extended hand back up into Tony’s face.

He recognized the invitation in the green eyes as Tony said:

“Come to bed with me Jethro….no more questions….let me show you what you mean to me.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs reached for Tony’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled up.

Tony winced a bit at the effort but said “I’m good” before Gibbs could verbalize his concern.

Gibbs focused on the warmth of Tony’s hand as he fought a need to resist.

He thought about pulling away, telling Tony it would never work. Something would happen and they’d both be hurt beyond measure. They would lose everything-their working relationship, their friendship, their love and respect for each other……that’s what always happened when Gibbs gave in…why should now be different?

He knew he had deep feelings for Tony…as deep as those he had for Shannon.

He agonized that it may not be enough as his mind battled to come to a sound decision.

While his mind raged with itself Gibbs body submitted to Tony’s control.

The room was dark as they entered but a full moon was in the night sky and the illumination bathed the room in shades of grey. It took only a second for their eyes to adjust as Tony turned to Gibbs and pulled him into an embrace. Gibbs returned the hug, mindful to draw Tony in gently.

Gibbs could feel Tony’s smile against his shoulder as Tony squeezed tightly and whispered in his ear:

“I know what you’re thinking so stop….don’t run away from this….we can make this work…please…don’t give up on us, Jethro, not now……..not again.”

Gibbs shivered feeling the warmth of Tony’s breath on his neck.

He relaxed into Tony’s arms surrendering to the desire he had harbored for years.

Tony could feel Gibbs give in but he felt the need to verbally assure Gibbs of his intentions.

He pulled away from Gibbs leaving his hands on his shoulders and said:

“Every day I have your six and you trust me with your life…”

Gibbs felt like he was getting lost in the intensity of Tony’s gaze.

As Gibbs slowly nodded Tony moved his hand and placed it on Gibbs chest.

“Trust me now, Jethro…with your heart.”

Gibbs raised his hand and covered Tony’s hand, holding it tightly against his body.

It was the acceptance Tony had been longing for.

He ran his other hand up along Gibbs jaw caressing as he went.

When his palm rested gently behind Gibbs neck he drew him in for a kiss.

Gibbs moved willingly, calmed by the feel of Tony’s hand.

Eyes closed as warm lips locked together like pieces of a puzzle.

The kiss was thrilling, sensuous and full of expectation of what may happen next.

Gibbs released the hand he had held firmly against his heart to move to Tony’s waist pulling him close.

He took his time and his actions were gentle as he allowed his hand to roam first up to Tony’s hair and then down his back, hesitating momentarily, before firmly grabbing an ass cheek.

The action took Tony by surprise.

He gasped then smiled against Gibbs lips, his teeth slightly grazing against Gibbs upper lip.

In response, Gibbs opened his mouth and using the tip of his tongue moved up and under Tony’s lip extending an invitation to explore.

Tony moaned as he accepted, slipping his tongue into Gibbs welcoming mouth.

In that moment all reason and logic simply vanished.

Romantic endeavors gave way as primal desire ignited the fire between them.

Languid kisses and dancing tongues turned heated and hungry.

Pawing and clawing at fabric that stood in their way, they reluctantly pulled apart.

Pupils blown, panting breaths, racing hearts, the scent of sexual arousal in the air-clothing was shed and flung vicariously around the room.

Standing naked just a few feet apart, they shared a predatory grin.

“Nice…” Tony commented seductively as he gave Gibbs a once over, eyes stopping to admire Gibbs hard body and his equally hard 8 inch cock.

“Very nice…” Gibbs responded his voice husky with want-as his eyes took in all of Tony who was already painfully hard.

Tony pushed Gibbs down onto the bed.

Gibbs scooted up towards the headboard reclining on his back as Tony crawled up the length of his body.

Tony hovered over him and his breath was hot and sweet on Gibbs face as he whispered:

“I want to explore every inch of you, Jethro. I want to find out what you like, what you love, what sets you off, turns you on…..what makes you beg….I want to know everything and I want to give you all I have in return…..”

Gibbs gently flipped Tony over switching their positions.

Tony’s face showed his surprise but the lust in his eyes remained.

Gibbs straddled Tony, their hard leaking cocks almost touching as he leaned forward and whispered in Tony’s ear.

“When you are 100% I’m yours to explore in any and every way you may desire…but tonight I think I need to be the one to take matters in hand.”

With that Gibbs took their hard cocks into one hand and began to stroke.

The moment didn’t last long.

Tony had become incoherent as Gibbs took him in hand.

He had gone into sensory overload. The pleasure was immediate and it was intense and Tony was having a hard time separating reality from fantasy. But it was real and it was with Gibbs….Gibbs was jacking them off…together….and oh god…it was so good….so not what he expected…not what he had planned.

Tony came, screaming Gibbs name.

The ecstasy in Tony’s face had Gibbs coming soon after.

Panting heavily, Gibbs milked every drop out of them both leaving a hot, sticky white mess.

He smiled down at Tony who looked like he was in a coma.

He patted Tony’s cheek looking for a reaction and when none came he moved off the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Gibbs chuckled to himself thinking of the many times Tony would say “Dinozzo’s do not pass out!”

“Right….” Gibbs said quietly, amused, as he washed up and then prepared a warm washcloth to clean up his passed out lover.

‘My lover’ Gibbs pondered as he looked at his own reflection.

He smirked to himself feeling 10 years younger and 20 pounds lighter….in a word he felt happy.

And at that moment he had an incredible feeling this budding relationship with Tony might just work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter may be a few days...FYI...and thanks again for reading and doing what y'all do with the comments and kudos and all that jizz...I MEAN JAZZ...yeah, jazz...sheesh...mind/gutter...ENJOY!


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." 
> 
> ― Sophocles

Gibbs awoke to a room full of morning sunlight.

He rose easily since this morning Tony was not attached to him like a barnacle.

Gibbs stretched with a feeling of exhilaration ready and eager to start a new day.

He paused for a moment enjoying the feeling.

It had been so long since he actually felt true joy he had almost forgotten how to recognize it.

He grinned down at the younger man’s sleeping form as he pulled on a pair of grey sweat pants and a white t-shirt. Tony was still asleep in the same position Gibbs had left him in from the night before.

He chuckled to himself feeling a bit smug that their short sexual encounter had left Tony looking so relaxed. He looked younger than his years, his coloring was good and best of all, he looked healthy.

Gibbs drank in every bit of what he could see of Tony’s body and fantasied about what lay just below the cotton sheets.

He relished the thought of getting to explore and map every inch of the gorgeous man.

He was also excited about being on the receiving end of Tony’s exploration.

He shuddered with pleasure thinking about the words Tony had seductively whispered:

“I want to explore every inch of you, Jethro. I want to find out what you like, what you love, what sets you off, turns you on…..what makes you beg….I want to know everything and I want to give you all I have in return…..”

‘Damn!’ Gibbs thought as he moved quietly towards the bedroom door.

Leaving Tony to sleep as long as he could, Gibbs fought the urge to whistle as he headed out to the kitchen gently closing the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After putting a pot of coffee on to brew he made his way out to his car to get his cell phone.

Scrolling through missed calls and texts he poured his first cup of the day then stepped outside onto the deck making his way to the edge.

He placed the phone on the railing and took a sip of the hot, black liquid as he took in the view below.

The town of Harper’s Ferry was coming to life.

There were kayakers launching off from the banks of the Shenandoah.

A group of cyclists passed some joggers on the river’s trail head.

Delivery vans and trucks were parked and being unpacked behind the buildings in the business district.

Gibbs inhaled the crisp morning air which was clean and cool and delicious.

He felt so relaxed and at peace.

Closing his eyes he breathed in and out….in and out…enjoying a few minutes of focused meditation.

Minutes passed before he opened his eyes feeling refreshed.

With a heavy sigh he grabbed the phone and ventured back into the kitchen for his second cup.

Refill in hand, he sat down on the couch and accessed his voice mail.

Steve Adler was the first to leave a message:

“Hey Gibbs….I will be down in Washington in two weeks to meet with Spence’s attorney. I’ll follow up with you when I get there. Hope Tony’s doing ok….let him know I called and hope to talk to him soon…oh…and tell him not to worry about Linda Spencer…let’s just say she is none too happy with me right now.”

Steve’s laughter as he said goodbye made Gibbs smile.

As much as he hated lawyers he knew it was advantageous to have an honest, clever one on your side.

The second call was from Chip Carter:

“Gibbs….wanted to let you know Mark Jensen’s condition hasn’t changed. I’ll keep you posted…hope Tony’s doing well….Linda Spencer has been on the warpath trying to find him (laughter)….since the Los Muertos threat is no more she has been bugging Joe Alvarez. Joe has threatened to get a restraining order to keep her away! Oh…Joe came back to work for a few days but he just couldn’t do it anymore…not without Spence. He retired last Friday. We threw him a hell of a party…he was sorry Tony couldn’t be there and asked me to tell you guys to stop by and see him when you get back to DC.”

The next call was from Linda Spencer.

Gibbs had to move the phone away from his ear as she screeched out an incoherent message.

He quickly hit delete moving on to the last message.

It was Kate:

“Hi Gibbs….I was just thinking about you and Tony and wanted to let you know you were both on my mind. I hope Tony is getting better. I miss you both…oh God…don’t tell Tony I miss him…I’ll never hear the end of it! Just tell him I hope he is well….anyway….see you guys soon!”

Gibbs laughed as he moved on to his texts.

There was one from Abby letting him know that she and Ducky had made it home without incident and confirming they would be back in a few days.

The next text was from McGee.

Gibbs had entrusted McGee with paying bills for both himself and Tony while they were away.

His text let Gibbs know he had taken care of Tony’s bills for the month and that he would monitor everything for them both. He also wished them well.

Gibbs responded with a quick “thanks”.

The last text caught Gibbs off guard.

It was from James Spencer and said:

“Sam would like to meet with Tony. Can U make it happen?”

Gibbs frowned as he text back:

“Will talk to Tony”

Gibbs had to admit he didn’t want any outside distractions while he and Tony were at Maryland Heights.

He knew he was being selfish wondering what Sam wanted from Tony.

He didn’t have much time to think about it as the bedroom door opened.

Tony appeared in the doorway dressed in a white terrycloth robe that fell just below his knees.

Gibbs felt a bolt of arousal ricochet throughout his body imagining Tony with nothing on underneath that fluffy white robe.

Tony had a sheepish look in his eyes as he glanced at Gibbs, looked down at the floor and then looked back up at Gibbs as he said:

“Mornin’ ”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony woke up feeling comfortable and warm.

Eyes still closed, he ran his arm over the space where Gibbs usually slept and was surprised to find the bed empty and the sheets cold.

He looked around the room finding he was alone except for Spence the goldfish, who stared at him with a certain look that conveyed “FEED ME”.

Tony sat up enough to reach for the fish food next to the bowl.

“Good morning Spence” He said as he dropped food pellets onto the surface of the water.

The goldfish darted towards the food, flipping in the bowl, which splashed water onto Tony’s hand.

He laughed as he lay back and watched goldfish Spence gobble down the food.

His smile faded as he thought about his other Spence.

Tony knew that no matter what happened in his future a piece of his heart would always be broken when it came to Riley Spencer.

Lacing his fingers together behind his head he lay back and stared at the ceiling.

He thought about Jethro and the events of the previous night.

For a moment he wondered if it had been just a dream.

Turning towards Jethro’s side of the bed he snuggled down, inhaling the pillow and bedding.

There was no mistaking the faint scent of sexual copulation.

Tony lay back and cast a brilliant smile towards the heavens.

It was not a dream.

‘It was a sexy, hot, mutual copula….oh shit! I passed out!’ Tony cringed before sitting up.

He got out of bed and grabbed his robe.

He needed to make sure he and Gibbs were good.

Making his way to the door he wondered if it was now going to be weird between them.

He watched Gibbs turn from his seat on the couch as he entered the room and said:

“Mornin’”

He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as he looked away from his boss and then back.

What he saw melted away any feelings of awkwardness he feared may be present.

“Good morning” Gibbs grinned from ear to ear as he stood up and opened his arms in greeting.

His smile and eyes radiated a happiness Tony had never seen before and it gave him pause.

Tony’s brief hesitation didn’t faze Gibbs as he softly commanded:

“Come here, Tony.”

Without question Tony moved towards Gibbs feeling such a sense of belonging to this man it almost took his breath away.

The joy and pleasure in Gibbs beautiful blue eyes were hypnotic as Tony allowed himself to be hugged tightly.

Tony rested his head on Gibbs shoulder as Gibbs held him close, running a hand up and down Tony’s back.

They held each other in a comfortable silence until Tony said:

“I’m sorry I passed out on you.”

Gibbs laughed pulling back to look Tony in the eyes as he playfully said:

“So are you admitting to me that DiNozzo’s DO actually pass out?”

Tony grimaced then smiled saying:

“Maybe…..but this was different….”

“How so?” Gibbs asked as he signaled for Tony to sit on the couch as he sat on the coffee table facing him.

Tony smiled shyly as he said:

“I was just overwhelmed last night…. it’s not every day you lose everything you love only to be rewarded with everything you have ever wanted.”

Gibbs was quiet for just a moment but then he reached out to caress Tony’s cheek thinking:

‘Everything I have wanted for so long’

Tony closed his eyes and leaned into the caress which caused Gibbs to move forward gently initiating a kiss.

Gibbs placed a hand on Tony’s knee and Tony moaned, spreading his legs in invitation.

Jethro accepted what was offered running his hand up along Tony’s inner thigh brushing the palm of his hand against Tony’s swollen cock.

When Tony gasped in surprise Gibbs deepened the kiss, dominating the action as Tony submitted to the pleasure.

They were in sync as they always were…Gibbs led and Tony followed.

Tony rested his hands on Gibbs shoulders as the older man used his own hands to undo the belt of Tony’s robe.

As Gibbs opened the robe he pulled it off Tony’s shoulders pushing his arms down effectively securing Tony’s wrists to his side.

Tony squirmed in protest but Gibbs ghosted the shell of his ear with the words:

“Do…not…move.”

Tony’s body stilled but his breathing became rapid and shallow anticipating Gibbs next move.

Gibbs blew a hot breath into Tony’s ear then ran his tongue up and over the ear, down his neck, stopping to nuzzle and nip at Tony’s neck before he sat back to admire the flesh feast in front of him.

Tony’s beautiful green eyes held total trust but he chewed on his bottom lip.

Gibbs smirked knowing Tony was wondering what he had in store for him.

He ran his hand over Tony’s chest stopping to pinch a nipple.

Tony sucked in a breath as Gibbs cooed:

“Just relax”

Gibbs looked down at the scar at Tony’s side and lightly ran his fingertips over the healing wound.

He then leaned down and kissed it saying a silent prayer of thanks that Tony was alive.

“Jethro….” Tony panted “Please….”

Gibbs shut him up with another kiss.

Gibbs delighted in the whimpers and moans Tony emitted as their tongues swirled with desire.

Gibbs withdrew, a wicked smile on his face as he stored every one of Tony’ reactions to memory.

Pupils blown in arousal, strong legs spread wide, luscious engorged cock swaying at full attention….a bead of pre-cum glistening at the slit.

“Beautiful” Gibbs breathed out before taking all of Tony deep into his throat.

Tony’s cry of shocked surprise and moans of pleasure were music to Gibbs ears.

He held Tony’s legs down with a hand on each knee as he licked and sucked up and down Tony’s hard shaft. He ran his tongue along the main vein, lapped at the pre-cum before running the tip of his tongue into the slit then taking the hard member back down to the base.

Tony watched as Gibbs head bobbed up and down. His mouth felt like velvet against his skin.

Tony couldn’t believe this was Gibbs giving him head…GIBBS…his boss….and oh my God the man knew how to suck a cock….it was better than Tony ever imagined...ever fantasized about.

Tony’s mind went feral.

He growled with the pleasure of it all thrusting up as hard as he could.

Gibbs growled in response using one hand to pin Tony back onto the couch as he brought his other hand up to take Tony’s dick into his hand.

The pressure Gibbs applied put the rutting animal back into the cage and Tony found his voice:

“Please…Jethro….I can’t take it anymore….I’m going to….gonna cum….I….”

“Do it!” Gibbs said quickly as he removed his hand from Tony’s hip to cup Tony’s balls, massaging them as he deep throated Tony’s cock.

Tony howled as he came.

He screamed Jethro’s name as the man pleasuring him swallowed every drop.

It was a sensory overload but he didn’t pass out this time.

He leaned back, eyes closed, mind swimming with images he had only dared dream about now made real.

He rode wave after wave of the immense pleasure barely registering the cool air on his flaccid appendage as the warm, wet velvet released him.

He felt strong hands pull his robe back up and over his shoulders, covering his chest and the belt tied back to keep him warm.

Lips covered his lips and he opened his mouth welcoming the man who had just delivered all that pleasure. He sucked and caressed Jethro’s tongue with his own, tasting himself and relishing flavors distinct only to Gibbs.

Tony felt the loss as Gibbs pulled away.

He fought an urge to weep.

Memories flooded his mind.

Memories of Spence…their first night together….when he had screamed out Jethro’s name.

How Spence hadn’t cared…had taken Tony to bed and won him over heart and soul.

Tony couldn’t help himself…he started to laugh….the laughter built until he was so giddy with laughter he began to cry….a sob caught in his throat as a warm calloused hand took his own and squeezed.

He looked up into compassionate blue eyes that held a deep understanding of pain, loss and grief but also love and commitment and the promise for so much more.


	62. Chapter 62

Their moment of silent understanding passed quickly.

Everything had been conveyed in just a look but when Gibbs asked “You hungry?” Tony huffed out his breath not even realizing he had been holding it in.

“I am absolutely starving!” he said with a laugh, wiping his eyes as Gibbs moved over to get another cup of coffee.

He refilled his mug then pulled down a cup for Tony.

As he fixed the coffee the way Tony liked it he said:

“I was wondering if you are up to getting out for the day. There is a cafe that serves the best buckwheat pancakes with homemade honey butter and berry maple syrup right down where the rivers converge in Harper’s Ferry. C’mon outside with me and I’ll show you.”

Gibbs handed Tony his coffee before leading them out onto the deck and over to the railing.

Gibbs pointed down and to his left at a one story stone building closest to where the rivers joined.

You couldn’t miss it.

The building was old but the large deck in the back was definitely a modern add on.

Covered with tables, chairs and a variety of colorful umbrellas the deck faced the waterfront, no doubt giving the patron an incredible view.

“Looks good…” Tony said sipping his coffee as Gibbs turned to look at him.

“They have an extensive menu but those buckwheat pancakes are something else.”

“Well O-TAY… buckwheat pancakes it is!” Tony replied giving Gibbs the “okay” sign with his left thumb and index finger.

When Gibbs looked confused Tony said:

“Oh c’mon, Jethro! Buckwheat? O-tay? The Little Rascals?”

“That some movie reference?”

“Yes…but…”

“I haven’t seen it….I’m not really up on new movies...you know that.”

“New movies!? Are you kidding me?! The Little Rascals have been around since like the 1930s Gibbs!”

Gibbs gave a disinterested shrug as he said “I’m gonna go get dressed.”

As he walked back inside Tony looked around in disbelief.

He was stunned Gibbs didn’t get this pop cultural reference.

‘Who doesn’t know the Little Rascals?!’ he thought with disgust.

Tony drank down his coffee as thoughts of Spence entered his mind.

Spence would be cracking a grin and doing his best Eddie Murphy impersonation of Buckwheat.

Hell, Spence would probably stay in character all through breakfast.

Tony laughed imagining the scene in his head.

Spence was so much fun.

‘Had been so much fun’  
Tony corrected himself but he kept the smile on his face.

Spence had gotten every pop culture reference Tony could throw at him and he had even imparted a few Tony didn’t know.

‘Gibbs just doesn’t get my humor…not like Spence.’

He slammed the brakes down on his train of thought.

He knew he shouldn’t compare Gibbs to Spence.

That could have disastrous consequences.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Can we walk down to Harper’s Ferry from here?” Tony asked as he walked into the bedroom grabbing his jeans from the floor and slipping them on.

He missed Gibbs amused smirk as he scanned the floor for his discarded shirt.

“You ever wear underwear DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked

Tony was just slipping off his robe as he turned towards Gibbs and with a wicked smile said:

“Not often….does that bother you, Jethro?”

Gibbs was already ready to go having changed from sweats into jeans and pulling a USMC sweatshirt over his white t-shirt.

He had just finished tying up his boot laces as he leaned back on the bed and shot Tony a seductive smile saying:

“I’m a practical guy and I appreciate easy access.”

Tony had a black t-shirt in his hand that he sniffed twice before deciding it was acceptable.

As he pulled it over his head Gibbs could hear his muffled chuckle then saw the brilliant smile as his head shot through the neck of the shirt.

“Good to know! Oh…and thanks for this morning by the way….and last night….I owe you.”

As Tony ran a hand through his unruly hair Gibbs laughed and stood up saying:

“And I aim to collect…but we need to go or I may not be able to stop myself from collecting right now!”

Gibbs missed Tony’s smug smile as he walked out of the bedroom.

Tony grabbed his shoes and socks and followed close behind, plopping down on the couch to put them on, as Gibbs shut off the coffee maker in the kitchen and grabbed his keys.

When Tony joined him at the kitchen counter he said:

“As to your first question…yes, we can walk from here but it is pretty steep going down the trail. We could take the driveway. It will take us longer to get there but less stressful for you…but it is up to you Tony. You look good but with the tenderness in your side….”

Tony thought about it for a moment.

He had been faithfully following the physical therapy instructions Ducky had left for him.

His side did hurt but other than that one area he felt pretty darn good.

“I would like to walk…and I think I can make it down the trail.”

Gibbs didn’t think Tony’s response sounded confident enough so he said:

“We’ll give it a shot. If you get too tired I can come back for the car and come down and get you.”

“Okay…thanks.”

They were just about to leave when Gibbs said:

“There is a chill to the air….you should grab a sweatshirt or jacket…”

Tony shook his head saying “Naw…I’ll be…”

Before he could finish Gibbs pushed past him and opened the closet near the mudroom.

He rummaged around for a moment before pulling out a black and blue long sleeve plaid flannel shirt.

“Here…put this on” Gibbs commanded before opening the side door and stepping outside.

Tony frowned but pulled on the outer shirt grumbling:

“Great…just the look I was going for…grunge.”

“Grunge?” Gibbs said sternly as he stepped back inside, grabbed the front of the shirt and pulled it, along with Tony, forward.

Gibbs sniffed at the shirt then pushed Tony back a bit and said:

“This shirt is not grungy! It is a bit musty but it’s clean…it’ll do!”

As Gibbs stepped back outside he missed Tony roll his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The trail was steep but Tony took his time.

Gibbs went in front of him but stayed just a few feet ahead looking back frequently.

Tony concentrated on his footing as he tried to get to know more about Gibbs.

“You ever hear of Nirvana?”

“Buddhism right? Peace, serenity, a state of perfect happiness?”

“Yes but I meant the band Nirvana.”

“Band?”

“The rock band from Seattle.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Do you listen to music Gibbs?”

“About as often as you wear underwear Tony.”

“Seriously Gibbs… We need to broaden your…WHOA …OH SHIT…..”

The sound of Tony’s panicked voice drew Gibbs immediate attention.

As he turned, he saw Tony trip and begin to stumble as rock and dirt gave way under his feet.

Gibbs moved quickly, catching Tony in his arms, pulling him close.

Tony was surprised how strong the older man was.

“You okay?” Gibbs asked looking down into Tony’s pale face.

“Yeah…thanks…that fall would not have been good” Tony said struggling to catch his breath.

Gibbs looked very concerned before glancing around.

Tony followed Gibbs line of sight wondering what he was searching for as he said:

“Uh…Gibbs…you can let me up now…I’m good.”

“Right…” Gibbs said, but before he helped Tony back onto his own two feet he pulled him in for a hot, wet kiss.

Tony had been surprised and just as he really got into it he was standing…alone.

“Okay…let’s continue” Gibbs said nonchalantly as he headed down the trail.

Tony swayed a bit as he ran a hand over his mouth watching Gibbs lead the way.

“Dammit, Jethro!” Tony whined, amusement in his voice.

“Well c’mon!” Gibbs said over his shoulder before turning around.

“I’m hungry, DiNozzo…so watch your step!”

“Alright! Geez…” Tony followed, mumbling “Fricking tease…..”

Gibbs smirked as he turned his back on Tony.

Tony could swear Gibbs wiggled his ass before walking away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They made it to the bottom of the trail without further incident but by that time Tony was beat.

He kept his discomfort to himself as they walked side by side across the footbridge connecting Maryland to West Virginia.

There were three bridges spanning the Potomac from Maryland Heights into Harper’s Ferry.

The first was for motorized vehicles, the second was for the railroad and the third, and closest to the Shenandoah, was for foot traffic and cyclists.

They stopped in several spots to admire the view, Gibbs answering Tony’s many questions about the area.

Gibbs could see Tony was getting tired so he made sure to stop often so Tony could lean against the bridge railing.

Thankfully the Two Rivers Café was the first business where the bridge ended.

The Café was not crowded so they had their pick of tables.

Tony wanted to sit outside as close to the water as possible and Gibbs was happy to accommodate him.

In fact, Gibbs would give Tony the earth and the sky if he wanted them.

Gibbs knew what he wanted for breakfast but he perused the menu anyway trying not to look so smitten.

“Wow…you weren’t kidding Jethro….so many good things!” Tony said as he turned page after page of the menu.

Gibbs set his menu down as the waitress delivered their drinks.

He took a sip of his coffee watching as Tony grabbed his orange juice and took a drink without even looking up from the dinner entrée section of the menu.

Watching Tony’s enthusiasm for simple things was something Gibbs loved about him.

Tony had a lust for life and it was contagious.

He knew Tony would make him happy but he wondered if he would be enough for the younger man.

Gibbs knew he could be moody. He had a mean streak, was demanding, unforgiving and unapologetic.

He earned that second “B” for bastard and he owned it.

But in this relationship he would have to be vigilant not to allow those parts of himself to dominate.

If he crushed Tony’s spirit and drove him away…Gibbs didn’t even want to think about that.

He had to remember to embrace the things that were important to Tony. He remembered when he let Tony pick out that blue shirt at Brooks Brothers…how happy Tony was to shop for him. It was that memory that made him say:

“So…do you want to tell me about that band from Seattle?”

“Huh?” Tony looked up surprised

“That Nirvana band….I’ll listen if you want to tell me about them.” Gibbs said sincerely

Tony closed his menu as his brows narrowed.

“What the hell? Don’t go all “nice” on me Gibbs.”

Gibbs looked shocked as he said:

“Nice?! I don’t know what……”

Tony sat back and crossed his arms as he cut Gibbs off:

“You do know and don’t change for me okay? I know you don’t give a rat’s ass about some rock band you’ve never heard of and don’t think you have to appease me by feigning interest in hearing about them. I may play some of their music for you sometime but to be honest there is a lot of music I can never listen to again because it will remind me too much of Spence….so please….just be YOU for me okay….I wish you got more of my humor but that’s okay…It may just grow on you.”

Gibbs sat there in disbelief and before he could respond the waitress appeared.

She didn’t have a chance to ask for their order as Tony’s body relaxed and he cast a mega-watt smile her way saying:

“Hey darlin’….we’ll each have an order of the buckwheat pancakes with honey butter and berry maple syrup.”

Tony flirted shamelessly with the young woman who stammered as she repeated the order back to him then tripped over a chair as she headed back to the kitchen.

Gibbs recovered from his shock as a smile tugged at his lips he said:

“I love you, Tony.”

Tony grinned, leaning forward, with a mischievous spark in his eyes he whispered:

“I know.”


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * denotes original information I copied from the internet....everything else is mine (No beta=my bad).

“OH…MY…GOD…these pancakes are to DIE for!” Tony said before stuffing another fork full of syrup and honey butter dripping hotcake into his mouth.

Gibbs watched, amused.

Tony inhaled through his nose, eyelids barely open, as he rolled the food around in his mouth, a look of pure ecstasy on his face.

It was almost obscene.

Gibbs glanced around before saying:

“The look on your face should be rated X.”

Tony swallowed then laughed.

“What can I say? I’m a hedonist…if I find something pleasurable you can see it all over my face!”

It was Gibbs turn to laugh as he said:

“Oh…I already know that to be a fact Tony.”

Tony simply wiggled his eyebrows as he took another bite.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They ate the rest of their meal in a relaxed and comfortable silence.

When they were done, the plates cleared and coffee mugs re-filled, the two men sat back and took in the beauty of the river.

From Maryland Heights the rivers appeared a mossy green but up close they were more blue grey and the water was actually very clear.

Tony watched as two kayakers meandered past.

“That looks kinda fun…” He observed

Turning towards Gibbs he added:

“You ever rent a boat here?”

“Nope.”

“Would you be interested in doing that before we leave?”

“Today? No way Tony! Not until you are…”

“One hundred percent...I know….I meant before we leave here and go back to DC.”

“Sure…we can do that when you feel up to it.”

“Cool.” Tony responded as they went back to drinking their coffee enjoying the moment.

As Gibbs watched the kayakers float down the river Tony stole a glance his way. He wondered if he should broach the subject of how long they were staying at Maryland Heights.

The way Tony was feeling he didn’t want to leave anytime soon.

He was enjoying being cocooned away with Gibbs.

They were really beginning to build something here and it was new and exciting.

He tried not to let the fear of losing Gibbs consume him.

He was scared he would blow it somehow or that Gibbs would decide “they” weren’t really a good idea after all.

Then there was the reality of going back to DC and returning to work.

What would they do then and how would things be different?

Gibbs had been everything to Tony over the last week-nurse, cook, mother-hen, protector.

Tony knew he would be adding “lover” to that list very soon.

He felt his face flush just thinking about what he wanted to do the first time they actually….

His thoughts were interrupted as Gibbs turned to him saying:

“We could rent kayaks or a canoe and take a picnic lunch over to the Virginia side. There are supposed to be some beautiful walking trails over there. Are you okay? You look flushed! ” Gibbs said as he reached out his hand to feel Tony’s forehead.

“You don’t seem to have a fever.”

Tony’s smile was soft as he said:

“I’m okay, Jethro…..you mentioned a picnic?! I’d like that.”

Gibbs returned the smile as Tony reached out and took his hand.

Gibbs intertwined their fingers as Tony moved closer.

He didn’t even think about where they were as he leaned forward and met Tony half way.

The kiss was interrupted as someone cleared their throat.

As they parted, the waitress placed the check between them on the table.

She shot Tony an icy look of disappointment before she headed back into the restaurant.

“Oops...” Tony said feeling bad he had flirted so openly with her.

Gibbs snorted as he reached for the bill saying:

“I’ll get breakfast but you get the tip, Casanova.”

Tony laughed as he dug out his wallet to redeem himself.

Exiting the restaurant Gibbs said:

“Do you feel like walking around Harper’s Ferry a bit or do you want to head back?”

Tony thought for a moment before he said:

“I’m good actually….Well-fed and in excellent company. You know this town right?”

“I’d say so” Gibbs agreed.

“Then I place myself in your capable hands…..lead on tour guide!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Their first stop was a historically preserved location near the Shenandoah River.

Tony could see the foundations of where many buildings had once stood as Gibbs described what had once been the Harper’s Ferry Armory.

Gibbs explained the strategic position the area had back before the Civil War.

Tony nodded as Gibbs spoke, seeing the logic in it all as they approached the only building left standing.

The small rectangular red-brick building seemed more like an old fire house than an arsenal.

As they entered the building Tony could feel the temperature drop significantly.

He shuddered as he looked around.

It was relatively empty except for some round barrels and wooden benches scattered about.

The walls were covered with a variety of photographs and there was a large plaque to the left.

Gibbs pointed to it and said:

“Read that and then I’ll tell you a story about Spence.”

Tony looked surprised but said “Okay” and began to read.

“The building in which you stand is a modern reproduction of the 1848 fire engine house that became known as John Brown's Fort. Some of the material herein is from the original structure but not enough to be deemed historic. It was in this location on October 16, 1859 that the failed raid on Harper’s Ferry came to a standoff. White abolitionist John Brown had intended to start an armed slave revolt by seizing the United States arsenal here at Harper's Ferry, West Virginia.

*Brown and his small army of 21 men (16 white and 5 black) did initially manage to capture the armory and arsenal and succeeded in taking 60 citizens of Harper's Ferry hostage. However, Brown's plan relied on local slaves joining the insurrection, and none did. The local militia and armed townspeople killed several members of the insurrection and forced Brown to take up position in the fire engine house where Brown's men had placed several of the hostages and prepared a defensive fortification.

On the night of October 17, U.S. marines and then Brevet Colonel Robert E. Lee and his aide J.E.B. Stuart arrived in Harper's Ferry to put down Brown's insurrection. The next morning, using a ladder as a battering ram, the marines battered down the door and stormed the fire engine house. One marine was mortally wounded in the attack as well as several of Brown's men. Some of Brown's men managed to escape, but most were captured, including Brown who was stabbed by the Marine commander, Lt. Green. The hostages were freed. *

Brown was tried, found guilty of treason and executed by hanging in December 1859.  
His execution made Brown a martyr to the abolitionist movement.

* Even today, debate continues on how Brown should be remembered: as a martyr to freedom, as a well-intended but misguided individual, or as a terrorist who hoped for revolution and, perhaps, murder on a grand scale.*  
One thing is certain; Brown’s act of rebellion precipitated the Civil War which led to emancipation and the end of slavery in the United States”

“Wow” Tony said as he finished reading and looked around the room with a greater appreciation.

“Okay! What’s “the Spence” story?!”

Gibbs chuckled at Tony’s enthusiasm as he sat down on a wooden bench.

When Tony plopped down next to him he said:

“Spence came to visit me once during the time I was working on the Maryland Heights house. Bob Conners had taken the weekend off so Spence filled in and helped me with the dry wall. We didn’t get much work done spending most of our time drunk as hell.”

Gibbs laughed as the memories flooded his mind.

He continued:

“With too many beers already in us we came down the path you and I ventured down this morning. It’s a miracle we didn’t tumble down and break our necks. I remember we laughed so much I had a stitch in my side. The café where we had breakfast didn’t exist then. There was an old tavern there. I can’t remember the name of it but it was a dive. Ex-military, bikers….a really tough crowd. We played pool and pinball, I think, and like the idiots we were, we switched from beer to bourbon….then to tequila shots. I forgot a lot of it but somehow we ended locked in here overnight.”

Gibbs waved his arm around the room.

Tony’s eyes got wide as he said “Seriously?!”

“Yep….how we ended up in this building is still a mystery to me. Spence could never remember either. We spent some time staggering around trying to get out but eventually passed out. When we were both awake it was so cold we decided we needed to stay alert to make sure we wouldn’t freeze to death so we started to discuss the history of this place. We both agreed the end of slavery was a righteous thing but we got on the subject of North and South military strategy and it got out of hand. There is nothing like two drunken marines arguing about the Civil War. I said Robert E. Lee was a traitor...”

“You did not!? You have to know how much Spence revered Lee….and him being from Virginia…oh I bet that went over well!”

Gibbs nodded as he said:

“I know he did and that is why I said it….he had dissed U.S. Grant first, called me a “Fucking Yankee”…”

Tony laughed saying “He called me a Yankee sometimes.”

Gibbs grinned as he continued:

“He said all Pennsylvanians were pansies ….it escalated from there. Spence started singing “Dixie” and I drown him out with my version of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic”.

“Wait a minute….YOU SANG?”

“I did.”

“The Battle Hymn of the Republic is what you sang?”

“Yes…I just said I did….”

“So you know the words to a song from over 100 years ago but pop culture eludes….OW!”

Tony frowned at Gibbs as he rubbed the back of his head.

“As I was saying….we were singing at the top of our lungs and that must have been what eventually brought the sheriff.”

A huge smile broke out on Tony’s face, any pain from the Gibbs head slap forgotten.

“The Sheriff?! Did you two get arrested?”

“We did….they were going to charge us with breaking and entering but the Major came to our rescue and got us out on a drunk and disorderly.”

Tony snorted in delight.

They laughed together and as the laughter faded to silence it was Gibbs who spoke first.

“I miss my friend.”

Tony nodded feeling his eyes begin to burn as he fought back the lump forming in his throat.

“I know” Tony whispered taking Gibbs hand in his own.

“Thank you Jethro….for sharing your Spence story. I have many I’d like to share with you sometime. I’ve said it before but am going to say it again….thank you for introducing me to Spence and thank you for being here for me when WE lost him.”

Gibbs turned towards Tony as he said “WE”.

Gibbs smiled at him with watery eyes.

He then raised their joined hands and kissed the back of Tony’s hand.

Tony stood and pulled Gibbs up saying:

“C’mon Jethro….on with the tour!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For the next hour they walked the retail district-windowing shopping or venturing into any store that caught their interest. When they came to a bookstore Tony was disgusted to find they only carried books on the Civil War but he knew Gibbs was in literary hog heaven so he followed him in.

Gibbs went one way as Tony went another.

Tony skimmed the shelves fighting boredom.

He stopped for a moment to close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose. He was getting tired and could feel a headache wanting to bloom behind his eyes.

He took a few deep breaths and carried on.

When he finally found a DVD section he was disappointed to find every movie was also Civil War related.

Now he felt irritated which was the last thing he wanted to be feeling.

He was about to find Gibbs to let him know he’d be waiting outside when he was drawn to a section that was broken down by State and then alphabetized by last name of the subject.

Tony was startled as he heard a woman’s voice behind him say:

“These are histories of prominent families known during the Civil War-both North and South. They also contain detailed genealogies with family trees well into the 21st century.”

When Tony turned around he found she was a young woman wearing a huge name tag that read “BETH”.

Tony smiled at her and trying to sound interested instead of sarcastic said:

“No kidding.”

“No…not kid-ding!” She replied in a nasally sing-song voice that Tony found highly annoying.

He couldn’t help himself he just stared at her for a moment then turned back towards the books.

“Oh-kay! Let me know if you need any help!” Beth said before moving along.

“Thanks” he responded automatically as he ran his finger along the shelf past “L” to “R” until he found what he was searching for under “S”.

Spencer

He pulled the book from the shelf just as Gibbs rounded the corner.

“You ready?” Gibbs asked several books tucked under his arm.

“Yeah….sure” Tony said absentmindedly feeling the pressure behind his eyes begin to throb.

He was about to place the book back on the shelf when Gibbs took it out of his hand.

He looked at the cover and turned it over. With a nod of approval Gibbs added it to his purchase pile.

Tony fell into step as he followed Gibbs up to the cash register.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Their next stop was the Harper’s Ferry Historical Society Museum.

Tony held the bag of books as Gibbs bought their tickets.

Tony tried not to roll his eyes as the cashier-resplendent in period garb-stated enthusiastically:

“We have the most extensive collection of Civil War artifacts and weaponry….”

“NO!” Tony responded with big eyes “Really?! Civil War you say? I would have never guessed….Did you know about this Jethro? What a surprise!”

“Be nice” Gibbs growled under his breath but Tony could tell he was amused.

The cashier was clueless as she simply beamed at them.

As they went through the ancient turnstile into the museum Gibbs reached for the book bag but Tony waved him away.

“I got it….enjoy the museum…I’ll meet you outside if I can’t take anymore.”

Gibbs laughed as he moved ahead blissfully unaware that Tony was beginning to drag.

Tony kept pace with Gibbs for a while but soon ended up ahead of the older man.

Tony glanced around unimpressed with most of what he saw. He just wasn’t into this period of time. He had his father to thank for that.

He cringed when he came to a section of the museum dedicated to the:

“Day to Day Life of the Common Soldier”

The display held archaic items that Tony guessed were the nineteenth century’s equivalent to luxury toiletries. He laughed when he saw an original “poo” bucket.

He felt Gibbs presence behind him and met his gaze in the reflection of the glass as he pointed to the bucket and said “Did I ever tell you the story of when I was called “poo” boy?”

Gibbs chuckled as he rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder and glanced down at the item.

“No…and honestly I don’t think I want to know….unless you feel compelled to share.”

Tony turned to face Gibbs and said:

“No….forget I even mentioned it!”

“No problem, poo boy!” Gibbs added playfully as he walked away.

‘Fucking great’ Tony thought but he grinned to himself as he followed Gibbs.

They entered the last section of the museum which was actually a long hallway.

Floor to ceiling glass partitions separated the artifact from the patron.

“You know the Civil War held many firsts in the modern art of warfare.”

Tony thought of Ducky as he indulged Gibbs with a “Do tell.”

Gibbs smirked as he said:

“It was the first time steel ships were used. Submarines, fixed ammunition, repeating rifles, aerial reconnaissance…”

“What? How?”

“Hot air balloons”

“Huh?! Go on.”

Gibbs was happy to finally see a spark of interest in Tony’s eyes.

“There were trenches on a grand scale, mine fields, an ambulance corp, flame throwers…..”

“Get out!” Tony said in disbelief.

It was at that point the two of them were standing in front of a display housing various guns.

Gibbs pointed at one as he continued:

“Plus long range rifles that were surprisingly accurate…..”

Tony moved closer to the glass to get a better look as he said:

“I’ll be damned…”

Gibbs chuckled as he moved ahead pointing at several other rifles, giving some back ground on the manufacturers and the capabilities of the technology of the times.

A thud and a gasp caused Gibbs to look back.

He had not noticed Tony had turned around to view the weapons behind them.

The case opposite the guns was full of every type of sword, bayonet and knife used in 1860 to 1865.

Gibbs stood transfixed as everything happened very fast.

Tony had dropped the book bag and placed his now empty hands against his abdomen-as if to protect himself.

His face drained of color and his breath hitched as he stumbled backward.

He tried to remain standing but his knees gave way and he landed hard on his ass.

“TONY!” Gibbs cried his body finally in motion.

He bent down next to Tony who was now struggling to breathe.

Gibbs gently pushed Tony’s head down between his legs whispering:

“Take it easy….in and out….concentrate on filling your lungs...and then empty them and that’s it…breathe in.”

He could feel Tony shiver and his body begin to tremble as he said:

“Boss…I …what’s going on? I….I can’t breathe.”

“Seems you’re having a panic attack…..from what I just witnessed I’d say you are having a flashback. Are you re-living the incident with Hector Zegarra?”

Tony sat up his eyes tightly shut as he admitted:

“Yes….I saw those swords and I was right back there. It’s like I could feel the electricity surging through my body from the stun gun and then….then…oh God”

Tony doubled over reliving that feeling of steel piercing his body.

Gibbs enveloped him hugging him tightly as he said:

“It’s okay…you are okay, Tony…Zegarra is dead…..so is his accomplice…..they are worm food! They can’t ever touch you again.”

Tony hugged Gibbs back as he whispered:

“Please…Jethro…I need to get out of here. Please help me to get out of here.”

Gibbs could tell Tony was fighting to remain calm but he seemed to be losing the battle.

Gibbs stood ignoring the burning pain in his left knee as he reached down and pulled Tony up and into his arms.

Tony curled into him his eyes still shut as he trusted Gibbs to lead the way.

He guided Tony down the hallway and out the exit door.

There was an empty bench across from them.

Gibbs looked both ways before he moved Tony across the cobblestone street and helped him to sit down.

Gibbs sat down next to him as Tony rocked back and forth repeating “I’m sorry…I am so sorry...”

“Shssh….stop saying you’re sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about…give it time….you’ll catch your breath and you will be okay.”

“Is he alright? I saw what happened on our security cameras….oh…and he dropped this.”

Tony had stopped rocking but he was too embarrassed to look up. He recognized the voice was that of the museum cashier.

“He’ll be fine” Gibbs said “Thank you for your concern and for returning our books.”

“Of course sir…can I get anything for you gentlemen? Some water maybe….or do you need me to call the paramedics.”

Gibbs felt Tony’s body stiffen when the word “paramedics” was mentioned so he quickly stated:

“Thank you but the paramedics aren’t necessary and we will be fine….we appreciate your concern.”

“Okay” She said with hesitation in her voice “You know where I am if you need me.”

Gibbs smiled at her before she walked away. Tony looked up and caught her final glance their way before she re-entered the museum.

“You ready to head home?”

Tony nodded in reply before he looked at Gibbs and said:

“I am so embarrassed. If I was alone I don’t know what would have happened.”

“Hey!” Gibbs said forcefully “You are going to be okay! Better we deal with this now to help you through this before we get back to work…”

“What if I can’t pass my psych eval, Jethro? What then?!” Tony interrupted

The terror in Tony’s eyes caught Gibbs off guard.

His first instinct was to baby Tony but he knew that would be the worst thing he could do so he went “bastard”.

“Stop it! Quit borrowing trouble!” Gibbs said harshly “When the eval comes up you’ll be ready or I will kick your ass! We will work through all this shit…together! I will help you or we’ll get you the best shrink that deals with this kind of stress to help us. Suck it up, DiNozzo…you are going to be fine!”

Tony pulled away from Gibbs to look him in the eyes.

Tony’s face was neutral leaving Gibbs to wonder what he was thinking.

He started to worry but then Tony cracked a huge grin and said:

“Damn…talk about tough love!”

Gibbs smirked and hugged Tony tightly as he planted a kiss on the top of his head.

“Tough or not, it is done with love Tony…don’t ever forget that!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They spent a few more minutes on the bench and when Tony was ready they started their walk back.

Gibbs let Tony walk in front of him his gut telling him Tony was masking his well-being.

When Tony began to trip ever few steps, Gibbs grabbed his bicep and swung his body into the closest business.

The Coffee Mill was more than just a coffee shop and internet café.

They also sold greeting cards, souvenirs, and locally produced wine and cheese.

“Sit” Gibbs commanded as he pulled out one of the two chairs at the bistro table next to the door.

Tony didn’t protest the manhandling being thankful to be sitting down.

His head felt like it might explode and every bone in his body had begun to ache.

He looked up at Gibbs who had remained standing and said:

“Need your coffee fix huh….”

Gibbs cut him off.

“Were you going to attempt to make it up that steep path when you don’t feel good?”

“Um…” Tony began as he looked down at the floor.

“I thought so! Damn it Tony! You are to confide in me when you don’t feel good! I am going to head back to Maryland Heights and get the car. It will take me about 30 to 40 minutes. In the mean time you sit here and rest!”

Tony nodded but would not look up at Gibbs.

“I’m sorry ...I thought I could make it. I didn’t mean to inconvenience you….”

Gibbs pulled out the other chair and sat down facing the younger man.

“Hey…look at me! The whole point of me bringing you to Maryland Heights is to get you well…100%! We can’t get there if you hide or downplay a seriousness illness. In fact you have a headache right now don’t you?”

Tony looked up in shock.

Gibbs smirked as he sat back and crossed his arms “I knew it!”

The shock turned to anger in Tony’s eyes but before he could say a thing Gibbs moved.

Leaning forward, his triumphant look replaced with genuine concern, Gibbs said:

“Please Tony….please don’t hide health issues…not anymore…if you can’t do it for you, do it for me.”

He owed Gibbs so much it shouldn’t be that hard to do.

Tony sat up, all anger melted away as he said “I’ll do it for you, Jethro.”

“Good…thank you!” Gibbs said as he sat back with a smile on his face “I need coffee for my hike back and how about a caffeine fix for that headache?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had been gone for about ten minutes and Tony was getting antsy.

He got up from the table and threw his empty coffee cup into the trash.

He was beginning to get the jitters so he bought a red velvet cupcake and paid for some internet time.

The lap top he selected was near a window looking out towards the bridge over the Potomac.

Above that was Maryland Heights.

He could just make out Gibbs beginning the hike up the trail.

Signing on, Tony fought the urge to research Hector Zegarra.

Gibbs said he was dead and that was good enough for Tony but it would have been nice to see a photo of the bastard laid out dead on Ducky’s autopsy table.

‘Maybe when I get back’ he thought.

He went to Google mail and pulled up his e-mail account.

He had several but he picked the one known just to him and Abby.

When they first met they devised a communication system just between the two of them.

She gave him the name eyecandy68 and he picked perkygoth for her.

He looked at the time wondering if she would be available to chat.

eyecandy68: Hey Abs…u there?

He waited for a few minutes, finishing his cupcake, and then typed:

eyecandy68: Helloooooo…you hoo?! LOL!

Waiting for a response he opened the bag of books Gibbs had purchased to see what he bought.

He set the Spencer Family History book aside and busied himself looking at the three books Gibbs had selected:.

Infantry Tactics, Double and Single Rank (1874) by Emory Upton*

Acts of War: The Behavior of Men in Battle (1986) by Richard Holmes*

Secret War for the Union: The Untold Story of Military Intelligence in the Civil War (1996) by E.C. Fishel*

‘BORING!’ Tony thought as he stuffed Gibbs books back in the bag.

He was about to open his book when the laptop pinged a response.

perkygoth: Hey Tony! How r you? Where r you? I know u don’t have internet access at the house.

eyecandy68: Internet café in H.F. Waiting for Gibbs. How r u Abs? Kate? McGee? Ducky?

perkygoth: Cool! Everyone is good. We have been hell-a-busy…I may not be able to come up with Ducky on the next visit… too much to do but tell me….whassup with u and the bossman? Hanky panky? Details!

eyecandy68: LOL! All I will say is your gift was a great icebreaker Abby…thx!

perkygoth: OMG! Yeah! Glad to hear it! So have u guys engaged in hide the sausage yet?

eyecandy68: Abby!

perkygoth: So not yet but soon!!!!!!! Woo hoo! U gonna let Gibbs bone ya like he owns ya? Oh…here is a great opening line for you if Gibbs lets you top…. “I hope you have your tetanus shot because I’m going to nail ya”

eyecandy68: UGH!

perkygoth: LOL! Oh c’mon that was funny…oh, oh…here are a few more and then I have to go…how about “You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home” or even more appropriate for Gibbs say to him “Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.”

eyecandy68: Goodbye Abby! I love you! Say “Hi” to the team for me!

perkygoth: You know it Tonyboy! Go get your man!

She closed with an obscene emoticon which made Tony laugh out loud.

He cleared his history and signed off looking out the window.

Gibbs must have made it to the top because the trail was empty.

He looked over the wine and cheese area of the shop finally placing an order for some fresh goat cheese and a bottle of Black Jewel Port. He chatted with the clerk for a while then moved over to the greeting cards to kill some time.

As he looked at “Thank You” cards he hoped Gibbs would like the cheese and port.

He figured he’d find out soon enough.

He decided to skip the card knowing Gibbs wasn’t a Hallmark moment guy.

Scanning the more humorous cards he saw one that was shaped like a mug.

He pulled it out thinking it was a mug of coffee but it was actually a mug of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows floating on the top.

It was cartoony and the front of the mug said “We’re like cocoa and marshmallows”.

He smiled before opening the card which stated:

“You’re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.”

Tony lost his smile.

He felt his body grow cold and he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

An image of Mark Jensen popped into his mind and he had no idea why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Feedback? Crickets? =) Thx for reading y'all.


	64. Chapter 64

“DiNozzo!”

Tony turned to see an irritated Gibbs standing at the entrance of the coffee house.

Gibbs gestured for Tony to come along as he said:

“C’mon! I’m double parked!”

Gibbs was out the door as Tony scrambled.

He turned back to replace the card in the slot but just as quickly changed his mind.

He slapped it down on the counter as he dug out his wallet.

“Do you want the envelope for this card sir?” the cashier asked.

“Nope…just the card will be fine…thanks.”

He shoved the change into his pants pocket then tucked the card into the bag of books.

Gathering his other purchases he hurried out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Sorry…” Tony said sheepishly as he got into the passenger seat placing the bags down on the floor.

Gibbs merely grunted in response as he waited for Tony to fasten his seat belt.

When he was satisfied Tony was secure, he headed back towards the bridge to Maryland Heights.

They rode in silence as they crossed over the Potomac but Tony grew uncomfortable so he said:

“Thanks for going to get the car, Jethro…sorry I kept you waiting…”

Gibbs turned to look at him and Tony could see the impatience and the irritation fading away.

“Are you alright?” Gibbs asked, concerned.

“Yes…why?”

“Because I called out your name three times before you responded back there. You looked like you were in some kind of daze.”

Tony thought for a moment then reached down for the book bag.

He pulled out the greeting card and showed it to Gibbs.

Since Gibbs was driving, Tony described the card and then read it out loud:

“We’re like cocoa and marshmallows-You’re hot and I wanna be on top of you.”

Gibbs chuckled then added seductively:

“Mmmm…I like the sound of that.”

When Tony didn’t respond Gibbs glanced his way.

The younger man was concentrating on the card he held in his lap.

Gibbs could tell he was miles away due to the furrowed brows and the facial expression.

Gibbs was familiar with that look.

It was the one Tony got when they had a tough case.

He was trying to sort out and then fit all the pieces together.

Gibbs was just about to speak when Tony glanced up and said:

“There is something about this card that triggered a memory, Jethro…like the swords in the museum…”

Tony’s words brought Gibbs gut to life.

His brows narrowed as he asked:

“What kinda memory?”

“That’s just it” Tony began, sounding confused and frustrated “I’m not sure…except when I read this, I thought of Mark Jensen….”

Tony had been staring straight ahead as he spoke.

He turned towards Gibbs and stated:

“Why in the hell would he come to mind!?”

‘Fuck’ Gibbs thought as he looked out the driver’s side window hoping Tony didn’t see the surprise on his face.

Gibbs schooled his features as he glanced back but Tony was looking out the side window as he said:

“I have this weird feeling…like a cup of hot chocolate holds some mystery I need to know….”

He turned back to Gibbs and said:

“Maybe I should call him….”

‘NO NO NO’ Gibbs gut screamed.

Needing an immediate diversion off the subject of Mark Jensen he said:

“Speaking of calls I forgot to tell you Kate called to see how you were feeling…said she missed you!”

They had made it to the drive way entrance and as Gibbs turned right he saw Tony’s face change from confusion to disbelief.

“She..…what?” Tony asked, then smiling added:

“She actually said she missed me?!”

“She did!” Gibbs confirmed “Steve called too. He has a follow up meeting with Spence’s attorney in two weeks and he said not to worry about Linda…..”

“Um…okay but why would I…” Tony began but Gibbs cut him off.

“James Spencer sent a text for you. He said Sam wanted to meet with you.”

“Sam?!” Tony said surprise evident in his voice.

Gibbs was relieved to see Tony absentmindedly stuff the card back into the bag as they pulled up to the carport and parked.

“Did he say why Sam wanted to meet?”

“No he didn’t mention that” Gibbs said as he got out of the driver’s side and walked around to help Tony get out.

Tony looked overwhelmed as he undid his seat belt, Gibbs reaching down to pick up their bags.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he handed it to Tony and said:

“Here…call or text James Spencer. You can talk to the others later. I called Ducky on the way back to get the car. He and Abby won’t be able to make it up this weekend so you and I are on our own. And honestly I would prefer that. I want this time to be for us…is that okay with you?”

Tony’s smile was radiant as he said:

“Yeah….I like that it’s just you and me.”

Gibbs leaned in and gave him a quick kiss saying:

“Good! Now I want you to relax….I’m going to go take a shower and then start on dinner.”

“Okay…thanks…I’ll be right in.” Tony said as he scrolled through Gibbs phone contacts hitting call when he found James Spencer’s information.

Gibbs nodded and left the side door ajar as he headed into the house.

Waiting for James to pick up, or voice mail to engage, Tony wondered what Sam wanted.

“Gibbs!?”

“Hey Jimmy…it’s Tony.”

“TONY! Hey…where are you? Are you doing okay? I have been worried…..”

“I’m fine Jimmy….” Tony began, avoiding James Spencer’s direct questions “Gibbs told me you sent a text that Sam wants to meet? I guess I’m a bit surprised but would be happy to see him….what’s going on?”

“Sam is now living with me in New York City. I got him enrolled at NYU. He changed his major from business to art. I’m so proud of him Tony. He’s struggling but he is adjusting. Jake was with us for a short time but he returned to his mother…he always was a mama’s boy…”

James Spencer sounded disappointed and disgusted as he mentioned Jake.

“Wait…I’m confused Jimmy…what happened?”

“Sam read the eulogy you wrote for his father…”

“Well I figured that might be why he wanted to talk to me.” Tony said wiping at a bead of sweat dripping down his left temple.

He suddenly felt very warm and kind of sick to his stomach as he waited for Jimmy to respond.

“What you probably don’t know, Tony, is that Sam got up and read it in front of everyone.”

“Wait…what?! He read it out loud….at the service?” Tony asked, surprised.

The pride in James Spencer’s voice was evident as he said:

“I missed your exit from the church but Sam came and sat with me and told me what happened. While we were waiting for the service to start he read the letter you gave him before passing it to me to read.” 

“Tony I can’t believe the things you said about my brother. I had no idea of the philanthropic works he did helping troubled youth and the DC community overall. I didn’t realize how truly compassionate and giving my brother was and the way you described him, my God, the love you have for him poured out from your heart and soul, Tony.”

“I was moved by your words but Sam was inspired.”

“I wish you could have seen him! When Father Monroe asked if anyone cared to speak that kid got up to the podium, and with our whole family present, he said he was sorry he never truly got to know his father and deeply regretted it was too late. He said he was proud to be Riley Spencer’s son and he was ashamed that the love of his father’s life had been barred from the service. He looked right at his mother and said “This is for my dad from Tony”….then he read what you wrote!”

“Uh…whoa…… Jimmy…I…” Tony sputtered but James Spencer continued:

“Tony you would have been shocked at how articulate and brave Sam was-like he was on a mission to right a wrong. My brother would be so damned proud! I don’t know where Sam got the guts to do it but he did and it created an absolute fervor in the church. Linda went nuts-she acted like she was stunned at Spence’s indiscretion! But I would bet most people present knew she was full of it. The backlash on her was unbelievable! The reporter who originally interviewed her for ZNN found out she and Spence had been divorced for years!”

James Spencer chuckled at that as Tony said as a matter of fact:

“The woman hated me before, Jimmy, now she probably wants me dead.”

Jimmy cleared his throat before he said:

“Look Tony…that woman hurt you. She hurt my brother and she hurt those kids….payback is a bitch and she deserves a world of pain and humiliation for what she has done over the years. She is using my brother William. That idiot is in love with her and I would bet every cent I have she will break his heart. She is poison so please do not feel bad about what has happened!”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose feeling a stress headache wanting to make an appearance.

He didn’t feel bad for Linda and although he was honored by Sam’s actions he wondered what repercussions might have befallen Spence’s youngest son.

“So is Sam alright?” He asked “It must have been shocking when the whole family found out Spence was gay.”

“Um…actually the gay thing never came up…well not at the service anyway. When your name was mentioned the assumption was “Tony” was a woman Spence was seeing. Of course you could tell by looking around who actually knew about you and Spence…Joe Alvarez had a huge shit eating grin on his face….”

“So when did “The Gay Thing” come up?” Tony interrupted.

“Later that night when we all got back to the house-I wasn’t present but Sam filled me in on the trip back to New York. Seems Linda ripped into him about embarrassing her. She said horrible things about you and Spence. Sam just couldn’t take it and blurted out that he was gay. He said the shock on her face and the fact his revelation left her speechless was priceless until she slapped him and started screaming again. It ended with Sam calling her a spiteful, selfish bigot that purposely kept his father from him and his brother.”

“Shit!” Tony exclaimed shaking his head in disbelief as a feeling of guilt began to crawl under his skin, taking root.

Sensing Tony may be feeling responsible for the family confrontation James said:

“Tony…it is a good thing! Please don’t fret about Sam. The kid is going to be okay. He’s angry and rightfully so. It will drive him to live the life he wants to live. Jake backs him…in fact he told Sam it was about time he came out. Linda kicked them both to the curb threatening to cut them off financially. Yeah…. like she has a pot to piss in! My brother William is taking care of her and as you know, Spence had money set aside for the boys schooling. They came home to New York with me but Jake didn’t last more than a week. He went home to his mommy.”

Pain exploded behind Tony’s eyes and he fought to keep his voice even saying:

“OK…Sam wants to get together….I would like to see him…..I should be back in DC in a couple of weeks.”

“Great! How about you call us when you get home and we’ll figure something out….you sure you’re ok?”

Tony felt drained and empty as he told James Spencer he was fine before ending the call.

Jimmy seemed to believe him but Tony was far from fine.

The hollow, empty feeling he had the moment before the two men said their good byes was now replaced with a wave of emotions Tony just could not compartmentalize.

Feelings of guilt, loss, fear, anger and sorrow, for both Spence and Sam, began to eat at him.

His reaction to the sword exhibit and then that greeting card with the gnawing mystery attached.

It was all too much.

The agony of all that emotion bounced around his skull like a pinball.

Making his way into the house he placed Gibbs phone on the kitchen counter before grabbing a bottle of tequila from the liquor cabinet.

He downed two shots before getting a bottle of water from the refrigerator and heading into the master bedroom.

Sitting down on his side of the bed he listened to the shower running and watched his goldfish swim.

He needed to escape the mental anguish consuming him.

He dropped some flaked food into the fishbowl before popping open his bottle of pain pills.

He downed three of them ignoring the warning label suggesting one pill every 4 to 6 hours.

He polished off the bottle of water and set the empty container down on the nightstand before he stood up and stripped off his clothing.

Physical touch was what he needed to escape and he silently prayed Gibbs would understand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The water was hot and steam filled the room.

Gibbs had decided to indulge himself, luxuriating in the cascading wet heat as he slathered his chest with body wash.

He found that their hosts had made sure the bathroom was well stocked with a variety of bath products.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply enjoying the woodsy, earthy scent of sandalwood.

It comforted and calmed him like working with wood in his basement.

‘Speaking of wood’ he thought as he ran a soapy palm over his stiffening cock.

Smiling to himself, his body shuddered with pleasure as he worked his length, his thoughts of Tony-on his knees, licking and sucking, using those beautiful lips, taking Gibbs rock hard shaft down that luscious throat.

He hungered for the time he could finally live out that fantasy.

It was one of many he planned to bring to life.

His desire for Tony was becoming obsessive and he knew that was not a healthy state of mind.

Gibbs prided himself on being a man who had excellent self-control but that control was weakening.

He knew it was just a matter of time before Tony was finally his….he just needed to be patient.

With a heavy sigh he opened his eyes and released his grip.

Moving both hands to the top of his head he vigorously shampooed his hair and thought about what he would prepare for dinner.

Making a meal for Tony soon faded into making a meal of Tony…delicious thoughts involving various athletic positions paraded through his mind.

Gibbs forced those tantalizing images away.

‘FOCUS’ he silently berated himself

Switching mental gears, he wondered if Tony had reached James and Sam.

He was curious as to what the Spencer’s wanted but he took his time showering giving Tony enough time and space. He hoped Tony hadn’t tried to call Mark Jensen.

Not that Jensen would answer.

Mark Jensen was still in a coma and there had not been any changes to his current condition.

Gibbs knew he needed to clue Tony in to what happened the night of Zegarra’s final attack but for selfish reasons he remained silent and unless Tony asked, he was not about to volunteer any information….not just yet.

He tried to convince himself it was in Tony’s best interest to withhold the information but deep down he knew he was being possessive, staking his claim, and he would not allow the distraction.

He assured himself everything would work out in the end.

He smirked as a vision of the little devil on his shoulder gave him an approving wink and a thumbs up.

He ignored the little angel on his opposite shoulder who sat there bound and gagged, a disapproving glare in his eyes.

As he set about rinsing off his entire body, a cool breeze whirled around him as a rush of steam escaped through the bathroom door as it was pushed open.

“Jethro” Tony whispered as if he were in a church or library.

Gibbs could make out the familiar silhouette as he leaned forward and wiped condensation off the glass door.

He had a weird feeling of déjà vu as Tony’s face came into focus. The dream he had of the *night sky* shower came to his mind but in this reality Tony was not grinning at him seductively.

His smile was shy and his emerald eyes hesitant.

“Hey….everything ok?” Gibbs asked as he wiped water from his eyes.

Tony glanced down as he said:

“No…I mean yeah…I mean…I… I’m sorry…I’ll tell you later….”

When Tony looked up at Gibbs he mistook the frown on his bosses face as irritation, not concern, which is what Gibbs was actually feeling at that moment.

“Sorry I interrupted your shower….I’ll just go.” Tony said, embarrassed, as he turned to leave.

Gibbs consternation was that Tony was acting uncharacteristically nervous.

His lust for Tony was very strong but his love for Tony was much stronger.

Gibbs pushed the glass door outward and grabbed Tony’s wrist before he could take a step forward.

Tony’s body stiffened as he stared at Gibbs hand, mesmerized as droplets of water fell lightly to the tile floor.

Gibbs noticed Tony had shed his clothes. He could also see Tony was not sexually aroused but he could feel an underlying need the younger man seemed unable to express.

Gibbs stepped back into the shower pulling Tony in with him.

He positioned Tony with his back under the warm water as he released Tony’s wrist and closed the glass door behind them.

As he faced him, Gibbs was disturbed that Tony continued to look down and had positioned his hands in front of his crotch as if to hide.

Gibbs raised a hand to caress Tony’s cheek and he was pleased Tony leaned into the touch.

He then lifted Tony’s chin until they were eye to eye.

Gibbs could see a myriad of emotions dancing around those beautiful eyes.

When those green eyes appeared startled and exposed Gibbs moved his other hand up to hold Tony’s head in place.

The men stared at each other for several moments until Tony’s body began to relax and he moved his hands to his side.

Gibbs took the opportunity to pull Tony to him, holding his body close he asked:

“What do you need?”

Tony returned the gesture wrapping his arms around the older man as he rested his fore head at the crook of Gibbs neck.

His words were muffled but Gibbs heard them clearly.

“I need you.”

Gibbs ran his left hand up Tony’s back until he was cradling Tony’s head, pulling him closer.

“What do you need me to do?”

Tony nuzzled against his neck and when Gibbs felt the soft kiss at his throat a fire ignited within him.

Running his fingers through damp hair Gibbs gently yanked Tony’s head back as he commanded:

“Tell me.”

Wide eyed and gasping with surprise Tony shuddered as Gibbs leaned forward and licked him from his clavicle up to his earlobe which he nipped before running the tip of his tongue inside the shell of Tony’s ear.

Gibbs breath was hot against Tony’s flesh as he repeated:

“Tell. Me. What. You. Need.”

Tony felt ashamed. What he needed was something he used to get from Spence but Gibbs had no clue as to what that could possibly be. They had not discussed such things and they certainly didn’t have that kind of intimacy yet.

Feeling his meds and the booze silently weaving their course through his body Tony knew he had a small window of opportunity to make the most of it so with caution to the wind he spilled:

“I need you to fuck me! I’d rather fuck you but I know it’s been awhile for you....I need it, Jethro…I need it hard, and I need it fast and as rough as you can get!”

Gibbs released his hand from Tony’s hair, took a step back and blinked.

His blank expression caused alarm bells to go off in Tony’s brain.

‘He thinks I’m a freak…some kind of weirdo with a pain fetish…shit….’

“Please…Jethro…say something!” Tony pleaded

The fear in Tony’s voice brought Gibbs back to the present.

He reached out and touched Tony’s scarred side and said:

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t….I made sure to cover that base.”

Gibbs looked up with narrowed brows.

“What did you do?!”

“Let’s just say we have about 30 minutes before I’ll need to lay down and sleep it off….and if I say a bunch of shit to you take it with a grain of salt….you know how I get on alcohol and narcotics.”

“WHAT THE HELL….” Gibbs began but he was hushed as Tony pressed his hand over Gibbs mouth and said:

“Don’t be mad….I know what I can take and how it will affect me. Now will you help me out here? Will you assist me in getting all this emotional baggage that’s floating around in my head to go away…for a little while at least?”

Gibbs nodded slowly and as Tony felt the smile on Gibbs lips he released his hand.

“You’ll tell me if you need me to stop.”

“I will.”

“So you like it rough?”

“Sometimes….when things get bad for me it helps. Does that freak you out?”

“No…I am a bit surprised. Didn’t think our first time would be like this but if that’s what you need I am more than happy to help you out.”

Tony felt relief wash over him.

Grinning at Gibbs he slapped his own ass cheek and said:

“Well what ya waiting for cowboy? You have a stallion to break in!”

Gibbs returned the grin as he pushed Tony back against the tile wall.

“Stallion huh?”

Tony nodded then gulped as he saw Gibbs eyes dilate.

When Gibbs saw the pupils of Tony’s eyes expand he glanced down and found Tony was hard and ready for action.

That was his open invitation to take what he had wanted for so many years.

With his lust no longer on a leash, and with a primal growl in his throat, Gibbs covered Tony’s mouth with his own, driving his tongue in to steal the need from Tony’s eyes and set his mind ablaze with desire.

And it was on.

Tony slammed Gibbs back against the opposite wall with an “oomph”.

Then it was his mouth covering Gibbs surprised lips and the two of them clawed and pulled each other as close as they could, tongues battling for control.

Tony reached around and grabbed Gibbs ass cheeks with both hands.

When their groins met Tony rubbed himself against Gibbs and breaking their kiss said:

“God…you have a fantastic ass Jethro….I want to….”

Before Tony could finish Gibbs spun Tony around and pinned him to the tile wall.

He pressed his body firmly against Tony’s back and chuckling said:

“So, hard and fast huh…is that how you want it?”

Before Tony could answer he heard the snap of a lid and smelled a heavy scent of sandalwood.

“Yes…I want you to…OH GOD!”

Tony was at a loss for words as Gibbs slipped a lubricated finger into Tony’s hole and began to prep him.

The moans and whimpers that action caused made Gibbs add a second finger and as he scissored the tight muscle he whispered in Tony’s ear.

“I am going to fuck you into the wall Tony….I am going to make you come so hard I’ll have to carry you out of here…”

Tony’s shot Gibbs a challenging smile as he said:

“Then quit talking and just fucking do….OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOOOOODDDDDDD!”

Gibbs had pulled out his fingers and with a single thrust drove himself firmly into Tony’s body, planting himself there.

Tony’s panting was rough and pain filled. Gibbs held his body close as he gave Tony time to adjust.

He rested his cheek against Tony’s back enjoying the rush of pleasure and the flood of emotions he felt with the realization he was joined with the man he had loved for so many years.

“You okay?” He asked

“Oh…yeah….” Tony said breathlessly.

He then added in a demanding tone “Get moving!”

Gibbs was happy to comply.

He pulled out and then drove in again and again. He was so deep and hard,Tony's body feeling like heated satin around him. 

The pleasure and pain Tony was feeling drove any rational thought from his mind. He pushed back against Gibbs meeting him stroke for stroke.

Gibbs felt the slick muscle clamp along his length, milking him and pulling him towards orgasm.

He fought it wanting to make sure Tony came first.

Before he could take Tony’s erection in hand Tony threw back his head with a roar as hot ropes of semen splattered against the shower wall.

“Oh FUCK!” Tony screamed sounding shocked that he had just cum without a hand on his dick.

Gibbs felt Tony’s knees buckle but he held him in place as he continued to ruthlessly plunder his ass.

As Tony’s body spasmed around him Gibbs could no longer hold back.

He felt a ball of lightning at the base of his spine and his hips thrust forward into that tight, sweet ring nailing Tony against the wall as he roared his release emptying- emptying- emptying everything he had inside of Tony where it belonged.

Somewhere far away, it felt like Tony was coming again, filled with him.

They remained joined together pressed firmly against the tiled wall, every breath they took synchronized.

The water was cooling off so Gibbs shut off the faucet.

The room was suddenly quiet and Gibbs realized Tony’s body had become very heavy.

His spent cock slipped from Tony’s body as he pulled out.

With his back against the opposite wall he lowered himself to a sitting position taking Tony’s limp body along with him.

They landed in a position mirroring Michelangelo’s Pieta.

Cradling Tony’s body in his arms Gibbs lifted him just high enough to place a tender kiss on his temple.

“I spoke to James” Tony said without opening his eyes.

“And…”

“Seems Sam read the eulogy I wrote for Spence to the whole congregation.”

“I heard about that. Didn’t know which son read it……is that why Sam wants to see you?”

“You heard about that? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t know what was said…besides I was more concerned about you being in the hospital!”

Tony nodded before asking:

“So why did Steve mention not to worry about Linda?”

Gibbs sighed as he said:

“She’s trying to sue you…”

“Why?”

“We can talk about that later Tony…”

“Zegarra is really dead…right?” Tony asked his words slightly slurred.

“Yes….he is really dead.”

For a moment Gibbs thought Tony had passed out but then he asked:

“Is there anything else that has happened I should know about? “

The question caught Gibbs of guard.

He said “No” rather quickly and before he could correct himself Tony shifted in his embrace, his eyelashes fluttered open and he looked up at Gibbs with a warm smile and said:

“Thank you, Jethro.”

“For what?”

Tony wiggled his eyebrows and said:

“For the religious experience.”

Gibbs barked out a laugh as he said “Oh yeah…what kind of religious experience would that be?”

“The second coming!” Tony said happily

Gibbs leaned forward and kissed Tony on the lips just before Tony’s eyes closed and he fell asleep.

He knew he should have told Tony about Jensen. He should have also got the two of them out of the shower before Tony succumbed to the drugs & alcohol. Perhaps Tony would not remember the conversation they just had.

Gibbs decided it didn’t matter.

He simply leaned back and with a heavy sigh, held Tony close feeling sexually sated and head over heels in love.


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I wrote that is posted on FF.net. The next, new chapter is almost complete. From this point I am going to try to finish this story with no more than 70 chapters. My goal is to post each new chapter no later than Sunday. I will do my best to achieve my goal. Please know I appreciate everyone who has taken time to read and kudo but especially to comment. Comments are thrilling to a author so thanks for making this writing journey much more fun!

Tony set his book down on the patio table and took a sip of his iced tea.

The condensation on the glass gathered in between his fingers as he enjoyed the cold earl grey.

He smiled to himself knowing Ducky would be appalled that Tony preferred his favorite tea iced.

Setting the glass back on the table, he shook the dampness from his hand then rubbed his palm over his khaki shorts.

Picking up the book again he looked at the cover of “The Spencer Family History” and was pleased with his purchase. It was an interesting read and he decided he would gift it to Sam when they got together.

Tony had finally finished the book after buying it ten days earlier.

It wasn’t that Tony was a slow reader it was just that he had been pretty busy doing other things.

One of those “things” was his current object of affection.

He leaned back in his chair and watched as Leroy Jethro Gibbs moved gingerly as he repaired part of the deck railing that had come loose.

Tony’s grin almost hurt with smug satisfaction as he relived the night before when Gibbs had finally “let him in”.

Tony had fucked Gibbs so hard against the railing they had dislodged the top board.

Their night had started in the soaking tub.

Tony added a milk bath powder he had discovered under the sink-It smelled of sage and mint and left their skin shiny and soft.

When they were dry, warm and clean they tumbled into bed.

Tony had introduced Gibbs to rimming a few days earlier and he had created an insatiable monster.

Gibbs was happy to reciprocate which led to the two of them in a 69 position.

Their simultaneous orgasm left them panting and completely amazed.

They slept for a bit until Tony was awakened by light kisses moving up his spine.

Turning over he pulled Gibbs close and they kissed at a leisurely pace until Gibbs pulled back and said:

“I want you to fuck me.”

Tony was at first surprised but he quickly leapt at the request.

“Hell yes!” He said sliding out from Gibbs arms, swinging his legs to the floor.

He made his way into the bathroom and rummaged around inside the gift box Abby had sent to them 5 days earlier.

When he heard Gibbs yell “Not the mango!” Tony grinned at his own reflection and dropped the tube of mango lube back into the box.

A few moments later he found his second favorite, strawberry.

When Gibbs saw his selection he groaned but he turned onto his stomach so Tony could work his magic.

Tony started slow savoring the special gift he was receiving.

He always fantasized one day he would take Gibbs just like this but he honestly never believed Gibbs would bottom.

Open and now very slippery Tony gently guided himself into Gibbs body from behind.

He only ventured half way allowing time for his lover to adjust.

The pleasurable moan that passed from Jethro’s lips almost caused Tony to come that very moment.

But he remained still and fought to control his breathing.

With a nod and a grunt Gibbs signaled Tony that he was ready.

Tony sank as deep as he could go, running his palms up the length of Jethro’s back as he lowered himself pinning Gibbs to the bed.

Gibbs was tight and his body was trembling underneath Tony’s weight and it drove Tony wild.

Gibbs was like putty in his hands.

He followed Tony’s lead as the younger man positioned them on their sides-Tony thrusting in and out taking his time….caressing, stroking, nuzzling…words of lust and love whispered with heated breath.

Then Gibbs was on his back, legs over Tony’s shoulders….moments later he moved and dug his heels into Tony’s back which forced the younger man forward for hot passionate kisses.

There was no time for thought…. it was all about touch and taste and raw pleasure.

Tony wasn’t even sure how they had made it outside but the moon was full, and their bodies were slick with sweat as Tony hammered into Gibbs tight ass until the railing gave way just as they screamed their mutual pleasure to the sky.

Sex between them was so good it seemed almost supernatural.

Tony had never felt closer to another human being and that included Spence.

He wasn’t sure he believed in soul mates but if they did exist Gibbs was his.

Spence always said that you could love many people in your life and although Tony did agree with that, the feelings he had for Gibbs seemed to be on a higher level.

Tony couldn’t explain it-it just was.

Since their first night in the shower Tony had not needed it rough.

In fact the last ten days had been filled with wonderful love making-unhurried, relaxed and very intimate.

They started each morning and ended each night in each other’s arms.

They had been together 24/7 and not a moment of that time was uncomfortable or difficult.

Gibbs worked alongside Tony as he did his physical therapy each day-encouraging and coaching him along. Sit ups, pull ups, push-ups followed by daily walks that led to daily runs.

Then of course there was all that sexual activity to add to the therapy list.

Tony was recovering and he was feeling strong and that was due to all the attention and love he was receiving.

With his body on the mend Gibbs made sure his mental well-being was also being addressed.

They talked at length about post-traumatic stress and panic attacks.

Gibbs surprised Tony one morning on a trip back into Harper’s Ferry with a private visit to the historical society. Tony didn’t know when Gibbs had made the arrangement with the museum but he was happy he did.

Tony met with a docent who was an expert in hand to hand combat during the civil war. He opened the sword display and removed various weapons letting Tony hold and feel. Tony was extremely nervous when the docent placed a sword, much like the one Hector Zegarra had attacked him with, in his hand and gave him a lesson on how to wield it.

His initial fear and panic began to fall away as he thrust and cut into the air under the docent’s tutelage.

Fear turned to fun as he imagined himself the swordsman confronting Indiana Jones in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”.

When he verbalized this scenario the docent laughed as Gibbs rolled his eyes saying:

“Didn’t that guy end up on the wrong side of a gun?”

Tony was ecstatic Gibbs got the movie reference.

Working with the docent and being able to handle various knives and swords took away Tony’s fear and he felt confident he would not have a problem passing his psych evaluation before returning to work.

Tony expressed his appreciation to Gibbs by cooking him a wonderful meal and then handing him a slip of paper that read “Good for one full body massage and 2 hours as your personal sex slave”.

Gibbs cashed them in that night and it took Tony a few days to recuperate from all the demands Gibbs imposed on his body.

Tony figured Gibbs must have felt a bit guilty using him the way he did because a few days later Gibbs rented a canoe and together they crossed the Shenandoah over to the Virginia side where they had a picnic near a small lake in the dense woods.

After their meal they skinny dipped in the cool water and then heated each other up with sex on the lake shore. That night when they got back they relaxed outside in the hot tub and later that night Gibbs massaged and caressed Tony in ways he had never experienced before.

Gibbs had been so attentive and generous both in the bedroom and out.

Now watching him work on the railing, Tony wondered how the man had ended up divorced so many times.

Tony drank down the rest of his tea before he stood up and pulled off his blue tank top, throwing it onto the chair he had just been occupying, as he walked toward the chaise lounge.

Before he stretched out to soak up some sun he said:

“Hey! Need some help “nailing” that back into place, sweetheart?”

Gibbs moved delicately as he turned, glared and flipped Tony off.

When Tony snorted out a laugh Gibbs grinned at him and shaking his head went back to the task at hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Turning back to complete the job Gibbs chuckled to himself feeling relaxed and extremely happy.

The pain he was carrying around today was worth the pleasure he had experienced the night before.

He now knew what Spence had meant when he said Tony was a man of many talents.

Gibbs was no virgin but Tony supplied him with quite an education.

He glanced over to see Tony stretched out on the lounge with a huge grin on his face.

He winked and blew Gibbs a kiss before turning onto his stomach with dramatic flair-wiggling his ass in open invitation.

Gibbs wasn’t ready to bite so he turned his back to Tony and simply smiled when he heard Tony’s indignant “humph”.

Gibbs was in the middle of driving a nail when he heard the distant ring of his phone on the kitchen counter.

He was going to just let it go to voice mail but Tony stood up, yawned and said:

“I’ll get it.”

“Thanks Tony” Gibbs replied before he hammered in two more nails.

He set his hammer down and did his best to squat down to make sure the board was level.

It wasn’t so he had to do some more maneuvering, aligning and re-adjusting.

He struggled for several minutes, added two more nails, squatted, saw it was level and rose slowly to avoid igniting the burning sensation in his ass.

Gathering up his supplies he turned to ask Tony who called but the deck was empty.

He wondered if Tony had decided to take his nap out of the sun and back into the bedroom.

Gibbs made his way towards the bedroom sliding glass doors, slid them open and went inside.

The bedroom was empty and so was the master bath.

He washed his hands in the bathroom sink before he pulled off his shirt, dried his hands with it then discarded it on the floor. They needed to do some laundry but first he needed a shower.

Wondering if Tony would like to join him he exited the master bedroom into the living room.

Tony was not to be seen.

Gibbs wondered if Tony had gone back outside but when Gibbs stepped back out onto the deck and looked around, he was alone.

‘What the fuck?!’ he thought just before his gut erupted in warning.

“TONY!” He screamed as he hurried back into the house.

Trying not to panic he moved towards the mudroom to see if Tony had exited out the side door.

He was almost there when he caught sight of him sitting on the kitchen floor.

Gibbs froze at the scene.

Tony sat with his back up against a lower cupboard.

His legs were spread out in front of him and his head hung towards the floor.

He held the phone with both hands, on his lap, staring at the display screen.

Gibbs winced but ignored his physical pain as he knelt down and took the phone from Tony’s hand.

Tony didn’t resist not did he respond.

Gibbs stood up and checked to see who had just called.

He was not expecting to see that is was Chip Carter.

For a moment Gibbs was confused.

What would Carter have said to get this reaction from Tony?

When the connection hit him he whispered “Ah…fuck”

That got Tony’s attention.

When Tony looked up his face was blank but there was a fury in his eyes.

Gibbs was rendered speechless as Tony found his voice.

“I regret to inform you that Officer Mark Jensen passed away this morning at 9:43am, Agent Gibbs.”


	66. Chapter 66

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this made me feel really rusty...I re-wrote this several times but as it came together I am really happy with it.  
> Hope you readers are too. No beta=my bad. Please let me know if you see any mistakes. Next chapter will be up this weekend  
> if all works as planned. Thanks reading peeps.

Gibbs sat outside on the deck and watched the setting sun.

The skies turned pink, to orange, then red to violet, finally into a deep blue.

It was the kind of breathtaking evening you want to share with a friend, or lover, but it felt empty to him since he was alone.

As stars began to appear in the twilight sky, he wondered if Tony had made it back to DC.

He had no way of knowing as he had given Tony the only phone they had.

He had also relinquished the car keys at Tony’s command.

The worst of all of it was that Gibbs had stood by stoically, saying little, as Tony interrogated him about Mark Jensen.

Questions were asked that Gibbs knew the answer too but he had been too stunned to respond.

Questions turned to accusations and still Gibbs said nothing.

His mind had gone into protection mode.

He never wanted Tony to know about the true nature of Mark Jensen.

Gibbs knew he was not being forthcoming-he had isolated them both to protect Tony from the outside world.

Now that he had time to really examine who he was protecting, if he was honest, it wasn’t Tony.

Maybe that is why he remained silent with the exception of a grunt here, a shrug there and a glare.

Tony’s anger built from Gibbs lack of cooperation and transparency.

His silence pushed Tony to the edge and Gibbs knew he had gone too far when Tony’s rage crumbled into disbelief and disappointment.

It was the latter that finally triggered Gibbs into action but he had been too late.

When Tony said he needed to go home, Gibbs had just held out the cell phone, which Tony snatched from his hand. They held eye contact for a few minutes and then in a huff Tony rushed around the house changing clothes and grabbing his jacket before he got in Gibbs face and demanded the car keys.

Tony was almost to the door when Gibbs quietly asked:

“You coming back to me?”

Tony froze and slowly turned to meet Gibbs gaze.

It pained Gibbs deeply to see a flash of hurt and insecurity in Tony’s eyes as he responded:

“Do you want me to come back?”

“Yes” Gibbs said without hesitation.

Tony nodded once and just before he slammed the door heading out to the carport yelled:

“I need a couple of days….take care of my fucking fish!”

With that he was gone.

That had been several hours ago.

Gibbs took a sip of bourbon from the glass he had been absentmindedly swirling in his hand.

He didn’t really taste it although he felt the familiar burn as it slid down his throat.

Just like the meal he had prepared for himself a few hours before-he had fueled his body but there was no taste to it or joy to be found because Tony was not there.

They had been inseparable for so long Gibbs was not even sure how to function at the moment.

He was feeling sorry for himself as he finished off the glass and got up to pour another.

Tony had said he would be back in a few days but Gibbs wondered when the younger man learned just how much Gibbs had been hiding if he would ever see him again.

He imagined Abby pulling up to the house, a sad smile on her face, as she informed Gibbs that she was there to pick up Tony’s stuff and give Gibbs a ride home.

With a fresh drink in hand, Gibbs walked to the deck rail and looked down at Harper’s Ferry.

He spied the building he and Spence had spent a drunken night in so many years ago and for one brief moment of weakness he wished he could trade places with Spence to make sure Tony was happy and loved and content.

He imagined the little devil and angel on his shoulders teaming up to shoot him a mutual look of disgust-neither of them condoning his pity party.

With a deep sigh he shook off the sorrow and moved towards the hot tub.

He placed his glass down, set the tub jets to high and stripped off his clothes.

Slipping into the warm, churning water he looked to the skies and asked Shannon and Spence to help him make it right.

Just before he closed his eyes he watched two falling stars shoot across the sky and prayed help was on the way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had only driven about 20 miles when he had to pull over and get out of the car.

He found a wilderness area along the Potomac that was beautiful and thankfully void of people.

He located a picnic table with a gorgeous view of the river and sat down to think.

He felt sick and angry and confused as to what the hell just transpired between himself and Gibbs.

He couldn’t help but run the events of the day over and over in his mind.

It had been a great morning until the phone rang.

When Tony saw it was Chip Carter calling he was a bit surprised and then had a moment of terror hoping the call didn’t have anything to do with Joe Alvarez. Tony had felt bad that he had not checked in to make sure Joe was doing okay after everything that had happened. He had no idea the call would go in a direction he was completely unprepared for.

“Hi Chip-it’s Tony”

“Oh..” Carter hesitated like he was shocked that Tony answered. He seemed to quickly recover as he said “Hey Tony…how are you? Where are you? Is Gibbs with you?”

Something was wrong. Tony knew it in his gut.

“Gibbs is here but not able to get to the phone. We are up in Harper’s Ferry….is everything okay? Is Joe alright?”

“Wha...? Um, yes….Tony, Joe is fine.”

Tony waited for Chip to continue but when he didn’t Tony asked:

“What has happened Chip?”

Carter sighed and stated “I am calling to let Gibbs know that Mark Jensen died this morning at 9:43.”

“Excuse me?” Tony said as he glanced out the window watching Gibbs still working on the fence, “Mark is dead? What happened?!”

“He succumbed to his injuries. He never woke up from his coma.”

“COMA?! How did he end up in a coma?”

Carter was quiet for a minute before he said “The night you were attacked, Hector Zegarra fought with Mark before Zegarra was killed. He gutted Mark with a scythe, Tony. Sorry to tell you this but I thought Gibbs would have clued you in.”

Tony just stared out the window at Gibbs feeling a sense of shock envelop him.

He had asked Gibbs if there was anything else he needed to know about that night and Gibbs had said no…but that was a lie.

Tony had remained silent for too long so Carter asked:

“Tony? Are you still there?”

Tony turned away from the window and slid down to the floor as he responded:

“Yeah…I’m here Chip. Can you tell me more about what happened that night?”

Carter gave him the play by play of everything reported to have happened that night.

Tony couldn’t help but cringe hearing how Zegarra turned his blade on Mark.

He interrupted Carter asking:

“Spence told me once that Mark was an orphan and had no next of kin….was there anyone with him at the hospital?”

“Just a few of us from the department” Chip replied

A sickening feeling of guilt spread through Tony’s body as Carter continued:

“Um…Tony, did Gibbs tell you Jenson had made you his power of attorney?”

The guilt vanished as shock took its place.

“WHAT?! No! I don’t understand…”

“Look Tony” Chip interrupted “I’m sorry to bother you during your recovery but we need you here to take care of…”

“No…that’s fine. I…I want to be there for Mark….um…I’ll come home tonight.”

“Okay…that would be great. Why don’t you call me or text when you get in? I have more to go over with you when you get here.”

Chip Carter said good bye and the two men disconnected their call. But Tony was left to simply stare at the phone in his hands. He was stymied as to how and why Gibbs had not told him any of this information.

Mark Jensen had played a role in saving Tony’s life and Tony didn’t even know.

Tony’s mind bounced around replaying the conversation he and Gibbs had had in the shower.

Tony had asked and Gibbs had said no.

Mark Jensen, whom Tony knew Gibbs was jealous of, had laid in a coma for weeks, alone, and Tony had not even known.

‘How fucked up is that’ he thought

Gibbs had to have a valid reason not to have told Tony about Mark’s condition …right?

Tony was mad at himself and he felt guilty as hell….his mind raced through all possibilities but he just kept coming back to that “NO” Gibbs had delivered.

Tony had no hint to the amount of time he sat on that kitchen floor but when Gibbs found him and removed the phone from his hands Tony was still unsure how to deal with the situation.

‘He has to have a good reason….’ He thought over and over as he tried to process the big picture but when he heard Gibbs say “Ah…fuck” Tony’s confused thoughts vanished as truth and reality hit.

Gibbs knew he was caught in a lie…..he had withheld an important truth and Tony was absolutely enraged as he stated:

“I regret to inform you that Officer Mark Jensen passed away this morning at 9:43am, Agent Gibbs.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony waited for Gibbs to say something…anything…but the man seemed unable to even breathe.

Tony could not really fathom why Gibbs had not been forthcoming.

As he slowly rose from his position on the floor he asked:

“Why didn’t you tell me Mark Jensen was gutted by Zegarra? Why didn’t you tell me that he was there that night and fucking saved my life? Or that he has been comatose for over a month?”

Tony watched as Gibbs sucked in a breath and looked to his left not meeting Tony’s gaze.

It was a textbook liar’s move.

Tony stiffened like he had been punched in the gut.

“Is it because you were jealous, Jethro?”

Gibbs eyes shot up meeting Tony’s.

Gibbs glared at him, lips thin and tight as Tony yelled:

“Jealous of a man in a FUCKING COMA!!! What the hell, Gibbs!?”

Gibbs let out a grunt.

“FUCKING SAY SOMETHING!!!” Tony demanded.

Gibbs looked at Tony and simply shrugged.

Tony’s brows narrowed, his jaw fell open and he shook his head in disbelief.

The look on Gibbs face was almost comical, like a child, caught with his hand stuck in a cookie jar. It was a look Tony had never seen on Gibbs before. He looked like a guilty man, which shattered something in Tony’s heart. This man he knew to be the most loyal of men-honest and trustworthy-had purposely hidden information that Tony should have known from the very beginning.

Tony’s anger shattered and was replaced by sorrow.

He mentally threw in the towel feeling a rush of hurt and disappointment crush him. It felt like all the intimacy they had shared went out the window and they were back to square one.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony got up from the picnic table and headed back to the car.

He pinched the bridge of his nose feeling a headache coming on.

As he got behind the wheel and turned the ignition, his stomach growled and he knew it had been a long time since his last meal. He needed to find some food and something to drink.

As he headed back onto the highway he realized in mentally revisiting the morning’s drama he had not even confronted Gibbs on the fact that Mark had made Tony his power of attorney.

‘Another important fact that Gibbs should have shared’ he thought with disgust.

As he passed a sign that informed him the next town was 5 miles away, Gibbs phone chirped that a text was received.

He ignored it for a while but then his curiosity got the best of him.

He knew he should pull over so as not to be a distracted driver but looking around he felt safe as he checked who was sending Gibbs a text.

Tony’s brows furrowed when he saw the sender was “A Touch of Glass”.

The message read:

“Mr. Gibbs. You order is ready for pick up. Our hope is you will not be able to tell that this is not the original. We have attached a photo for your approval.”

Tony put the phone down wondering what the hell Gibbs could have ordered.

He tried to be cool and not pry into Gibbs privacy. That lasted about 5 minutes.

He rationalized Gibbs had deceived him so all bets were off.

Tony was nosy and he wanted to know what other secrets Gibbs might be keeping from him.

He was not comfortable driving and opening an attachment so when he saw a Starbucks at the next exit he took it.

Pulling into the lot he parked the vehicle under a shading tree.

He opened the windows and cut the engine.

He could hear cars zipping along the highway but the Starbucks lot was relatively empty as he picked up the phone and re-read the message.

He had just a moment of conscience before he opened the attached photo.

He squinted at the photo but his eyes grew wide as he enlarged it.

He gasped and the breath caught in his throat.

He blinked several times but there was no mistaking what he was seeing.

He was looking at Spence’s grandmother’s crystal vase.


	67. Chapter 67

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to complete but I found this a difficult chapter to write. Not the content-I think I got what I wanted to convey down-but it is hard to visualize scenes so vividly and try to bring them to life with words. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks again to all of you readers and commenters-in which ever form you express yourself. No beta=my bad. Please let me know if you see mistakes...thanks!

Tony wasn’t sure what he was going to say when he hit the call button from the text screen.

His heart was in his throat as he listened to the phone ring.

His breath hitched when he heard a sweet female voice say:

“Hello, thank you for calling a Touch of Glass, this is Charlotte, how may I assist you?”

Releasing the breath, Tony went into undercover mode as he replied:

“Hi Charlotte… My name is Tony and I am calling on behalf of my boss Mr. Gibbs. He asked that I contact you regarding his vase order. He is out of town right now and I am handling his affairs. I see the text and photo you sent and wow…that vase looks incredible….is that a reproduction?”

“Thank you! Yes, we did reproduce that item….”

Tony could hear pride in her voice as she continued:

“Mr. Gibbs brought in a photo along with the pieces of the original shattered vase. We do hot glass work here so we were able to recreate the vase using the original crystal.”

‘Original pieces of the shattered vase’ Tony thought.

Gibbs had done this for him.

He had made sure the one thing Tony treasured above all, in memory of Spence, would still be in his life.

Tony felt a sudden wave of love and affection crash over him.

It was so overpowering, that if he had been standing, he was sure it would have dropped him to his knees.

He was so overwhelmed emotionally it took him a minute to realize Charlotte was asking if he was still there.

“Um…yes, sorry ….I’m still here….uh, is there a timeframe Mr. Gibbs has to pick up his order?”

“No…he left his credit card information but we will only charge the card upon his approval of our work.”

Tony grinned as he rubbed at his eyes.

He had started to tear up but was determined he was not going to break down over the phone.

Inhaling deeply he said:

“Charlotte, I can personally assure you, from what I have seen, your company has done an amazing job.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony ended the call advising Charlotte that Gibbs would contact her in the near future.

He then sat back and stared out the car window gazing at nothing in particular.

So full of warm emotions, his mind reeled with thoughts of Gibbs’ kindness and consideration.

‘Who knew’ he mused, wondering how Gibbs planned to present the restored vase to him.

Before he could think too much more about it his stomach protested its lack of food.

“Okay” he said aloud patting his gut.

Locking up the vehicle, he made his way inside the Starbucks.

His many years in law enforcement had trained him to automatically scan a room upon entering and he wasn’t surprised to find the coffee shop as empty as the parking lot.

Two employees chatted behind the counter, ignoring him, as he headed to the restroom.

After taking care of business, he exited the men’s room and sauntered towards the counter.

He grabbed a bottle of water for the road and a package of chocolate covered graham crackers from the front display case before setting them down near the cash register.

While waiting for the cashier, he surveyed the various overpriced pastries feeling somewhat giddy at discovering Gibbs’ secret gift.

He reminded himself he was still angry at Gibbs’ other secrets.

He shook away the happy thoughts remembering his frustration regarding a certain functional mute.

He would not lose focus on what he needed to do back in Washington D.C. just because Gibbs proved to be a loving, sentimental boyfriend.

‘Are we boyfriends now?’ he thought wondering how he would classify their time together.

They were now lovers, and Tony counted Gibbs as a friend, but could it go further for them?

Tony wanted that.

But did Gibbs?

Gibbs actions lead Tony to believe he did but what if they were just really connecting due to the tragedy of losing Spence?

As anger at Gibbs lack of communication skills began to overshadow his feelings of bliss, the cashier stepped up and pointing at the water and cookies asked:

“Will that be it for you, sir?”

“Nope” he replied popping the p at the end.

“Give me a multi-grain bagel, toasted, with cream cheese….”

“Anything else besides the water?” the cashier interrupted.

“Sure” he said “How about a large hot chocolate….with marshmallows if you have them?”

“Sorry….no marshmallows… but will whipped cream do?”

Tony smiled at her.

She reminded him a lot of Abby.

“Whipped cream would be fantastic!” he said

“Great!” She responded “Your name?”

“Tony” he replied

“Alright Tony, give us a few minutes and we’ll call you when your order is ready.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony took a seat in a corner of the shop with his back to a wall. He watched several cars pull into the parking lot but they didn’t stop, instead slipping around the building to head for the drive thru.

He took a moment to access the picture of the vase and got lost in the joy of such an incredible gift.

He was startled when a bagel with melting cream cheese was placed in front of him.

Looking up at the cashier, and then scanning the still empty shop, he asked:

“I’m sorry…did I miss you calling my name?”

She laughed saying:

“No…I just figured I would bring this out to you. We’ll have the hot chocolate in a minute. Sorry ….the drive thru got a bit busy and the barista forgot to make your drink while this was toasting…”

“Oh! Hey no problem…thanks” Tony said as he set the phone down on the table before picking up a bagel half and taking a bite.

“Enjoy!” she said as she hurried back to the counter to lend assistance to her co-worker.

As Tony ate he reanalyzed the mornings fight…and he would have to categorize it as their first fight although Gibbs didn’t really fight back.

Tony just wanted to know the “WHY”.

It seemed to Tony that Gibbs insecurities had cost him a chance to be there for Mark at the end.

He tried not to feel guilty about Mark being alone while he was off in Maryland Heights enjoying a wonderful recovery with Gibbs.

Tony knew he really had no blame in any of the events that happened so he tried to relieve himself of feelings of remorse. Well…other than the man had died trying to save him.

The reality was Tony didn’t really know Mark Jensen that well but he had been there to help Tony and now it was too late.

Tony was stymied that Gibbs would even feel threatened by Mark.

Tony had had absolutely no interest in the man and even when Spence mentioned Mark was getting too grabby around Tony, he had just laughed at Spence thinking he was reading into something that just wasn’t there.

‘Whatever’, Tony thought dismissively.

He tried to be flippant but in reality he felt a heavy emotional burden and it all stemmed from the negative chain of events since Spence was killed.

He missed Spence so much.

He wondered if he was even worthy of a second chance at love….but love he did and he knew he would fight to keep it.

He was frustrated with it all but he knew he loved Gibbs and that, in the end, would help get them through all the bullshit.

They had been doing really well until he answered Gibbs phone that morning.

Tony wondered how things would have gone had Gibbs answered Chip’s call. When Gibbs learned Mark had died would he have told Tony right away? Confessed why he had held back the information and made Tony understand?

He shrugged off the “what if” game playing in his mind and picked up the phone to look at the vase photo again and wondered how he would let Gibbs know he had pried into his personal business. He couldn’t help but grin like a fool the more he stared at the photo.

‘A fool in love’ he pondered ‘How could one person be so lucky as to love and be loved so deeply, not just once in their life, but twice?’

“Excuse me?”

Tony’s head jerked up in surprise.

A young man, the barista, held a cup in his hand, gesturing towards the table.

Tony moved back so the kid could set it down in front of him.

“Thanks” Tony said before reaching out to pull the cup closer.

“Yeah…sorry it took so long dude.”

“It’s okay…” Tony said before taking his first sip.

“Thanks for understanding…..ya know we actually don’t get many orders for hot chocolate.”

“Probably because you do not have mini marshmallows!” Tony stated sarcastically while adding a smirk.

The barista snorted out a laugh at Tony’s expression as he turned to head back to the counter adding:

“Well…it’s probably because the majority of our customers are truckers and travelers…ya know…they prefer something stronger.”

Tony froze in his seat.

The words “prefer something stronger” triggered a strange feeling of déjà vu.

His mind went into overdrive wondering where he had heard that before.

He ripped the lid off the cup and stared at the contents.

It was just a hot chocolate with a mess of melting whipped cream but in Tony’s mind he was seeing mini marshmallows as he sat on his couch, Mark Jensen sitting next to him having a conversation.

His brows narrowed as he tried to recall what had been said. He remembered accepting a mug of cocoa and drinking it down. It had been delicious but he had been so tired. He remembered Jensen had not prepared a mug for himself which had prompted Tony asking:

“You don’t want a cocoa?”

Tony thought hard to remember what was said next.

Mark had replied:

“Hate the stuff….I actually prefer something stronger….”

Tony’s brows shot up in surprise as he thought ‘prefer something stronger’....what came after that?

What had Tony said then?

He could not remember. Why couldn’t he remember….and then it hit him.

His whole body shivered as a rush of images flooded his mind.

Gibbs anger that Tony had asked Jensen to stay over as a bodyguard, Steve warning Tony that Jensen was a creep, Jensen handing him the hot chocolate and knowing so much about Tony’s personal life, waking up the next day in his and Spence’s bed, in clothes he did not remember putting on….and he wouldn’t have slept in that bed if he had a choice…..

He remembered the mug shaped greeting card he found in Harper’s Ferry and how it had made him think of Mark Jensen. He then thought how he had shared that information with Gibbs and how his boss had abruptly changed the subject.

Tony frowned as his curiosity piqued.

Gibbs knew something he was not sharing.

There was something about Jensen that Gibbs was hiding and Tony was determined to find out what the hell was going on.

He stood up grabbing the phone and his purchases.

Before exiting the building, he snatched a handful of napkins near the counter, and then threw the almost full cup of cocoa in the trash.

He didn’t hear the employees bid him goodbye.

He tossed the water bottle and cookies on the passenger seat after opening the car door and climbing in in a huff.

He was pissed and frustrated and unnerved by the whole thing.

He had a time loss on the night Jensen stepped in for Gibbs and he wanted to know what Gibbs knew and was keeping secret.

Pulling a pen out of the glove box he flattened out a napkin and began to timeline his life since Spence had been killed.

He smiled when he got to the kiss Gibbs had planted on him that night Jensen stayed over.

Tony sat back and thought about who Gibbs would confide in other than Tony himself.

The list was short-Ducky and/or Fornell.

Before he made a call to either of those men, he figured if Gibbs was covertly searching for any information there was only one special agent he would turn to.

He scrolled Gibbs’ phone’s contact list until he found the person he wanted.

He hit send and when Timothy McGee answered with a surprised “Boss?!” Tony said “Shut up and listen McSherlock….I am pretty sure you have information that I need!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tim McGee looked around the bull pen glad that Kate Todd had just stepped out with Balboa before he whispered:

“Why are you calling from Gibbs phone, Tony?”

“Never mind that, McSnoop…..I need to know everything you know about Metro Officer Mark Jensen…”

Tony heard Tim sigh and could not suppress his grin.

He knew he would hit pay dirt calling McGee, he just hoped the younger agent would be forthcoming.

“Look, Tony, I don’t know anything…besides, why don’t you ask Gibbs?”

“I did ask him Tim and he won’t tell me anything!”

“Well maybe it’s only need to know then!” McGee reasoned.

“I NEED TO KNOW!” Tony bellowed

When Tim didn’t respond Tony let out a long breath and changed tactics.

Yelling at the junior agent would not get him what he needed. McGee was loyal to Gibbs first and foremost and Tony could appreciate that.

“Please Timmy” Tony asked quietly “Please…tell me what you know. My relationship with Gibbs may depend on it.”

McGee was quiet for a moment before he replied “Tony…I really don’t know much. Gibbs asked me to get as much information on Jensen as I could.”

“Okay…and when did he request this?”

“The night we took Steve to the airport.”

Tony jotted that piece of information on the napkin before stating:

“What info did you find?”

“I got the basics of his life Tony…the usual…background report-family history, financials etc.-“

“Was there anything weird about his life?”

Tim rubbed his right temple feeling a headache blossoming behind his eyes.

He hated ratting out Gibbs but Tony sounded so defeated he couldn’t withhold.

“The guy lived clean, Tony….paid his bills, was a hero on the job….but he did have a sealed juvie record…”

“A sealed juvenile record?! Did you get that too?”

Tim looked around before he whispered:

“I was able to get the record but didn’t read it Tony.”

“Did Gibbs read it?” Tony asked excitement in his voice.

Tim was quiet as Tony waited patiently.

“I got the record and gave it to Gibbs the morning of the meeting about Zegarra.”

Tony gasped at the mention of Zegarra’s name. It had caught him off guard.

“Tony? You okay?” Tim asked with concern.

Tony cleared his throat before he said:

“Yeah…I’m okay Probie. Thank you for sharing the information.”

“Gibbs is going to kill me right?”

Tony chuckled at that saying:

“He will not kill you, McGee…in fact I will kiss you when I see you next!”

“Ugh” McGee said before adding “I’d rather Gibbs kill me.”

Tim McGee couldn’t help but smile fondly as Tony laughed before hanging up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony called Ducky next but the M.E. was in the middle of an autopsy and would not be available for several hours.

He called Abby’s lab but she too was busy so he left her a message on her cell phone letting her know he was just touching base.

He was nervous to call Tobias Fornell as he never really seemed to get along with the abrasive FBI agent.

Tony knew Gibbs and Fornell were tight and if Gibbs needed to vent about Jensen, or investigate more deeply, he would rely on Fornell.

He crossed his fingers as he hit send hoping Fornell would answer.

He was not prepared when Fornell answered sounding smug:

“Hey Gibbs….I heard your rival kicked the bucket….”

“Rival? What rival would that be Toby?” Tony asked heatedly.

“DiNutso?”

“Yep”

“Aw…fuck”

“Funny…Gibbs said the same thing to me earlier today….”

Fornell interrupted Tony saying:

“Why are you calling on Gibbs phone?”

“Because I want information Fornell and I am now sure you have it….I want to know what Gibbs has on Jensen that he is hiding from me.”

Fornell went silent before he added very seriously:

“Look Tony…I’m sorry about the snide rival comment. I think you need to talk to Gibbs….”

“I have tried to talk to him Fornell…and he is a stubborn bastard!! He is keeping information from me that I want, no I NEED to know!! If you know why he would hide anything from me Please, PLEASE….tell me!”

“He didn’t want you to know….ever”

“KNOW WHAT!? Tell me what you fucking know Fornell!”

“Alright Tony…you want to fucking know?!” Fornell spat out

“YES!”

“FINE!” Fornell yelled back at him.

Tony waited as Fornell calmed himself.

When he was ready, Fornell sounded nothing but professional as he began:

“Mark Jensen was a sick fuck that drugged men and…. God only knows what he did to them while they were unconscious. Gibbs wanted to protect you, but since you have to know, Jensen had a photo book of all his conquests and you were the last picture in that book! When Gibbs found it he ripped out the picture of you and burned it. He gave the book to the FBI and we were able to find almost every guy in there. Most didn’t want to talk but those that did painted a really ugly picture…shall I go on?!”

Tony was rendered speechless.

Tobias Fornell had heard him gasp and then go still.

When he was done disclosing the information, he hated himself a bit for betraying Gibbs trust and bringing obvious distress to Gibbs’s second in command.

Fornell was not fond of Tony DiNozzo.

The kid just naturally pissed him off.

He really had no idea what Gibbs saw in the younger man.

Never the less, he knew Gibbs loved Tony.

In the end he hoped Tony knowing the truth about Jensen would not ruin Gibbs chance at happiness.

“I have to go…” is all Tony said before hanging up on Fornell.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony had no immediate ability to process what he had learned.

He had not been sure what Gibbs was hiding but what Fornell shared was nowhere near anything Tony could have imagined.

He sat quietly trying to let the information filter through him as his skin crawled and he fought the bile trying to make its way up his throat.

His mind did its best to protect him, by fighting the truth of it all, but pieces of a grotesque puzzle began to lock into place.

He tried to compartmentalize it logically, like he was working a case.

If he was filing a report, he would say he was drugged via the hot chocolate. He had a time loss from being on the couch to waking up in the master bedroom in clothing he would not have slept in. He would also not sleep in a bedroom he had avoided for days.

He tried to remember how Jensen acted towards him that night and he didn’t remember it being different from the other times they had hung around.

It dawned on him then something Steve had said about Mark-that he stared at Tony like he was prey.

He had thought Steve was out of line but now he couldn’t hold back a chill running up his spine.

He tried to recall if he had felt any physical aches or pains which might indicate he had sexual intercourse against his will.

He refused to allow the word “rape” into his train of thought but gagged at the implication.

He was relieved when he realized he had not felt anything out of the ordinary that would indicate he had been molested sexually- just obvious confusion to the circumstances on the morning after.

But he knew Jensen may have engaged in “bad touch” and that turned his stomach into knots.

He felt like throwing up but refused to go there.

Instead he let his mind turn to the wonder that was Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Gibbs had tried to protect Tony yet again.

‘Like he always does’ Tony thought

He knew there had to be more to the Jensen story, and now that he had a clue, he was determined to get the rest from Gibbs.

Tony appreciated his boss trying to protect him but Tony had to know the truth.

Any anger he had towards Gibbs dissipated as his fury turned towards Mark Jensen.

He called Chip Carter and when the call went to voice mail he said:

“Chip, it’s Tony. I am not going to make it back to D.C. tonight after all. I will get back to you soon and we can sort out what exactly you need me to do to settle Mark Jensen’s affairs.”

He thought he should say he was sorry but at that moment he just didn’t give a fuck.

The only person he was now concerned about was Gibbs.

He needed to get back to Maryland Heights right away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As he entered the on ramp and accelerated to maximum speed, he turned on the radio and found his favorite hard rock station out of Baltimore.

Cranking the volume, he grinned as Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” blasted from both speakers.

Singing along, he concentrated on the lyrics and blanked his mind to everything else.

He was also secretly relieved the song was one Spence hated so there was no chance of sorrow in listening to it.

When the song ended, and the station took a moment to give their call letters and take a commercial break, Tony looked left and noted the sunset was painting the sky in beautiful oranges and pinks.

He wished he could be sitting on the deck with Jethro watching the beauty of it all.

He wondered what Gibbs was doing and what he was thinking in that moment.

Tony knew he wouldn’t make it back until it was dark but it didn’t matter.

He needed to be with Gibbs and he needed to bare his soul.

He wanted Gibbs to be with him in a committed relationship.

He wasn’t sure how it was going to pan out with them working together.

At least with Spence they hadn’t had the added stress of being together at home and at work.

He and Gibbs had a lot to discuss and Tony was determined that everything would be laid bare.

He realized Gibbs had shown him time and again how much he truly loves Tony not through words but through actions.

Tony didn’t want to think of Gibbs rejecting him but Tony needed words to accompany the actions.

Gibbs had asked him if he was coming back to him.

Tony knew he was being insecure when he responded “Do you want me to come back?”

Gibbs had not hesitated when he answered Tony.

Tony would cling to that simple “yes”.

He needed Gibbs to understand that being with him was now the only place he ever wanted to be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He drove in silence the rest of the way to Maryland Heights.

The sun had set and the sky was in twilight as he turned off the main highway and started down the twisted turns towards the rivers and Harper’s Ferry.

Spotting the turn off that would take him up to the heights he pulled over and cut the engine as he needed to think about his approach.

From his vantage point he could see the evening bustle around the town and he smiled when his eyes fell on the place Gibbs had told him about his drunken night with Spence.

He knew in his heart Spence would want Tony and Gibbs to be happy.

He wondered if Shannon would approve of his being with Gibbs.

Taking a deep breath he sat back and looked toward the sky.

Two shooting stars lit up the night as his eyes grew wide.

‘Is it a sign?’ he mused, snorting in disbelief.

He laughed nervously but a feeling of warmth and comfort enveloped him and it gave him courage to move forward up the drive to Maryland Heights.

The trip up was short but Tony took his time.

He had no doubt Gibbs would hear him approaching and his imagination ran wild with how their conversation might go.

Tony knew he should not apologize-he really didn’t have a reason too anyway but maybe he should to break the ice? If he said he was sorry for leaving would Gibbs interject? Would they be like strangers even though such little time had passed or would it feel so comfortable they would just fall into sync like they always seemed too? But now he had secrets too-how was he going to explain knowing about the vase or getting Gibbs to spill about Jensen?

He shook his head and rolled down the windows to clear away his thoughts.

It was a gorgeous night and the beauty of the rivers inspired him.

He would just go with the flow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs had fallen asleep in the warm bubbling water but the sound of a car door closing roused him awake.

He had not left any lights on but he could tell someone had entered the house and was moving around.

Fear did not rise in him but he questioned if his mind was playing tricks.

He had lost count of the number of bourbons he had downed.

He had to blink several times to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things as Tony walked out onto the deck right off the kitchen.

Gibbs could only stare as Tony stripped off his clothes as he approached the hot tub.

It was done with purpose and precision, no hint of humor or the lustful swagger Gibbs had seen in Tony earlier that morning.

Tony’s look was thoughtful –eyes glued to Gibbs.

Gibbs moved to his left to allow Tony to step up and into the redwood tub.

As he slipped into the water he approached Gibbs without hesitation, arms open.

Gibbs mirrored the action pulling Tony in for a loving hug.

Tony then turned to position himself in front of Gibbs who pulled him back against his chest-holding him close.

Nothing was spoken between them.

As Tony’s head dropped back to rest on his shoulder, Gibbs pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple.

Leaning back, his love held close to his heart, Gibbs smiled as he looked to the night sky.

Tony had come back to him.

He gave a silent thanks to Spence and Shannon for answering his prayer.


	68. Author's Note

Author’s Note:

Hi Reading Peeps….

I know this isn’t really the forum to share this with you all so I will post it, then pull it down when I am ready to post the next chapter of Devotion. 

The chapter has been delayed due to life really. 

I have friends in Houston, Texas; Key West, Florida and San Juan, Puerto Rico…and it has been nail biting this past month or so waiting to hear they all survived Mother Nature’s fury.

I am happy to report all are alive and although there is property loss, being 6 feet up and breathing is a wonderful, glorious thing.

As most of you may know I live in Las Vegas, Nevada and a week ago the love of my life was at a concert near Mandalay Bay with friends when a nut job with an arsenal open fired.

He and his friends survived but many around them did not. 

I was completely unaware of what was going on until I got the following text….

“Baby….active shooter on the strip! If I don’t make it, never forget how much I love you….”


End file.
